Used to Me

Used to Me

  By JaMa Literary Agency

  ******

  Published by:

  Used to Me

  Copyright © 2015 by JaMa Literary Agency

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  All the depth

  Of my agony

  Holds down a light

  From inside

  That won’t shine for me.

  Every time

  I ever try to live,

  I stuff away

  All of the

  Answers to this

  Pain in my head,

  Able to swim,

  Clouding

  All the heart I give,

  And now,

  My blood is

  Running thin.

  We are all lost,

  Tossed in a sea of shit and rot,

  Taught to be ourselves,

  But really, all they think we should’ve thought

  To be as they made us be.

  I’m just as bad at this all

  As I used to be.

  I’m worn down to naught and caught

  Up in a whirlwind of decay and haven’t got

  Two cents of sense to know what to believe,

  But in all this time, you should be used to me.

  I’m cold as ice.

  It’s nice to be alone.

  I’m doing twice

  All that I should

  Not have to do at all.

  I sacrifice my very soul

  To be what you need,

  What you dream of me

  And never leave me on my own about,

  So much doubt to be the one you want,

  And everything you know

  Is a bullshit-covered lie you’re told.

  You’re fed it,

  And I’m fed up.

  Let it all let up

  On me this time.

  I don’t get it,

  How you

  Live such a lie,

  And I…

  Can’t seem to get up

  And don’t think I ever could

  From this blinding light

  Of you being so much better than I

  Could ever hope to be.

  For me, it’s just misery.

  I’m pathetic, but I don’t let it

  Get to me as much as you think I should.

  We are all lost,

  Tossed in a sea of shit and rot,

  Taught to be ourselves,

  But really, all they think we should’ve thought

  To be as they made us be.

  I’m just as bad at this all

  As I used to be.

  I’m worn down to naught and caught

  Up in a whirlwind of decay and haven’t got

  Two cents of sense to know what to believe,

  But in all this time, you should be used to me.

  Why the hell

  Aren’t you used to me?

  Why am I

  The slave

  To your apathy?

  I must behave, be brave, be the same

  As the ones leveling their shit at me,

  But I can’t

  Because I’m not really set to be like them,

  Expected to be both but never mind

  That they always win

  When they can’t get a damn thing right.

  I don’t give up; I give in

  To the sorry, simple, suggestive might.

  We are all lost,

  Tossed in a sea of shit and rot,

  Taught to be ourselves,

  But really, all they think we should’ve thought

  To be as they made us be.

  I’m just as bad at this all

  As I used to be.

  I’m worn down to naught and caught

  Up in a whirlwind of decay and haven’t got

  Two cents of sense to know what to believe,

  But in all this time, you should be used to me.

  We are all lost,

  Tossed in a sea of shit and rot,

  Taught to be ourselves,

  But really, all they think we should’ve thought

  To be as they made us be.

  I’m just as bad at this all

  As I used to be.

  I’m worn down to naught and caught

  Up in a whirlwind of decay and haven’t got

  Two cents of sense to know what to believe,

  But in all this time, you should be used to me.

  It

  Is all my fault.

  Apparently, I’m anything

  But what I am not

  What I’m supposed to allow of myself,

  A sinner, beginner of the game of hurt and never help.

  If I give up now,

  I’m not the someday, something, some anyhow,

  Pretending that I care when they make me

  All that was never there

  And all they couldn’t be themselves.

  We are all lost,

  Tossed in a sea of shit and rot,

  Taught to be ourselves,

  But really, all they think we should’ve thought

  To be as they made us be.

  I’m just as bad at this all

  As I used to be.

  I’m worn down to naught and caught

  Up in a whirlwind of decay and haven’t got

  Two cents of sense to know what to believe,

  But in all this time, you should be used to me.

  I’m not even

  Used to me.

  You

  Should be used to me.

  I

  Don’t even

  Want to be me.

  I’m

  Not even used to me.

  Useless

  I know I live in evil ways.

  I look at myself and see no face.

  There is an abscence of heart I'd like to replace...

  But I am the man of permanent disgrace.

  I'm sure it all went to shame.

  It's a game we play

  To find the harshest words to say.

  Don't look at me like I was the one to blame.

  I don't know you.

  I don't even know your name.

  Forget me

  For forgetting you.

  Let me go.

  I'm tired of letting you place everything on me.

  You're stalking me,

  Always talking to me like we're good friends.

  It's harmful and startling

  That you think we could make a pleasant amends.

  The present is when it ends.

  The past was a laugh,

  And now, you're just going with the trend.

  I'm sorry if...

  I was never there.

  But you never understood

  That I don't care!

  You're more than a thorn

  In my side

  Or a scorn on my pride

  Causing pain inside.

  You're useless!

  So useless!

  It's hard to be

  Someone hard to see

  Cuz everyone's on your case,

  And you have no place

  All your own.

  It's misery

  When they never leave you alone.

  Leave me alone.

  I'm not all

  I'm cracked up to be.

  You came to me

  And then backed down

  And then came around again.

  I don't need you.

  I don't even remember you.

  You were t
oo much to take,

  But you never

  Got the hints I'd given you.

  Remains

  The remains of the days gone by

  Have made me

  Too afraid to cry.

  I thought I wanted peace

  Or a piece of ass at least...

  But I've been far too depressed

  To fuck or fuckin care.

  I've been commanded to come when called

  Without knowing when or where.

  It's all I can do.

  Me and you, we're through.

  It's all I can do...

  To keep me from killing you.

  Don’t fuck with me!

  I'll brand you.

  I'll beat you.

  I'll kick you.

  Stay away from me.

  I thought this was beneath you.

  You say you want me to leave you alone.

  Now, you've changed your story.

  You don't come around,

  And you got a finger for me.

  Well, fuck you, too!

  You fucked me twice.

  It was shit to me, 

  But I was too nice to you.

  You hate me!

  You hate me!

  You fucking hate me!

  I'll be hating you!

  Unsheltered Life

  Feel the needle

  Plunge into skin.

  Relax,

  As the fear kicks in.

  It's one thing

  You won't forget.

  It'll live in you...

  One regret.

  Your eyes are numb.

  You're oh so cold.

  You don't know where it's from,

  Maybe your absent mind.

  It's so slow,

  A delay in time,

  As you die...

  Minute by minute

  In an unsheltered life.

  I Would Move a Mountain

  I would move a mountain

  To heal your pain.

  I would take it all

  And not complain

  If it could be in that bed,

  So torn and afraid.

  We share someone,

  The one that took your name

  And gave me life.

  She’s my mother.

  She’s your wife.

  You don’t deserve this at all,

  And it’s not alright.

  I’m scared for you.

  I’m torn in two.

  I would do anything I could

  To give you hope renewed,

  But the one that should give

  You all she has

  Is holding back, and she won’t ask

  What you really need and why you hurt.

  You’re my friend, my sense, my other dad,

  Yet the one that should put you first

  Is that one that puts you last.

  Do you see

  What you mean to me

  And to so many more?

  You’ve asked so little,

  So why is it so hard what you’re asking for?

  The one whose blood I do not have

  Is the one that raised me up and

  Made me so much of who I am.

  You have my all as long as you need me there.

  No matter what, I will always love, and I will always care.

  It All Falls Down

  It all falls down

  Heaven ain't just in the sky

  Your pot of gold

  Might not be

  Where you were told

  It might be in my eyes

 

  It all rains down

  And washes away

  Everything is still

  Right where you left it

  At the end of the day

 

  But it all fades to grey

  The black ain't so dark

  The white ain't as nice

  Every heart falls apart

  At some time

 

  Bring me back

  Into your life again

  It all feels right

  To me

  But maybe

  You don't have

  The luxury I do

  Maybe your feelings

  Aren't what I thought they were

  I just remember

  You tellin' me

  Everything you

  Wanted to do

  Do I fit into that

  Do you need some time

  To figure it out

  To paint me in your picture

  And steal away

  Some sort of relief

  From the life

  You're leavin' behind

  It's all fallin' down

 

  I'm not that good

  But I'm tryin' to be

  If you think I should

  I'll do anything

  Anything you want

  Just don't give up on it

  Give me another chance

  I know it's been quite a while

  But waitin' for you

  To come back

  Was worth every second

  It wasn't a bad thing to do

  Even though it all falls down

 

  Back when we were

  So much younger than we are now

  You said I was what

  You were looking for

  I thought the same of you

  Isn't that why we

  Kept on piecin' together

  Every bit of what

  We always heard was

  What you need to have

  In a memory

  It's been years

  But I haven't lost my hopes

  Even when it all falls down

 

  I found an old photograph

  It's a little bent up

  But about as good as new

  I think it's better than

  It was then

  Cuz every time I hold it

  I can't stop thinkin' of you

  You didn't call me

  Since graduation day

  I've done so many things

  That I didn't want to

  Because I thought

  You'd be hurt

  But you weren't my girl

  You gave that up long ago

  I gave up wishin'

  But never gave up hopin'

  Even when it all fell down

  My world was crashin'

  All around me

  Into a sea of

  Everything I couldn't

  Stand to have near me

  Everything I couldn't

  Stand to be

  I really want you to tell me

  Does any of this

  Change your image of me

  Even when it all falls down

 

  Could you ever

  Give this one more chance

  Once again

  Even if it all falls down

 

  Should I just give up

  Cuz it's all fallin' down

 

  Maybe I'm livin'

  In a land of false beliefs

  But the hands

  That wanna hold you

  Could be yours

  When you want 'em

  It might be hard to believe

  But I never stopped hopin'

  Even when it all fell down

  If you wait long enough,

  It all falls down

  Decisions

  How do you

  Make decisions

  When it's so hard

  To choose

  You know you

  Could win it all

  Or you might lose

  How do you decide

  To stay or to go

  How can you

  Make a decision

  To just say

  I don't know

  You’re Not Me

  In the game of names,

  I think you called me liar.
br />   Everything is over.

  You don't need to conspire

  To hide the truth.

  You know you know.

  Just remember whose pants will be on fire.

  Is that anything you'll show?

 

  I thought

  I had you figured out,

  But in the course of life,

  I learned that nothing's

  What it seems about.

  You get told

  How you have to be.

  No one's the same as they say.

  I say

  Hey,

  You're not me.

 

  Once again, we set out

  On a road of never-ending deceit.

  I give you all I have

  All I can tell you...

  But your head is concrete.

  I am waiting,

  Hating it all.

 

  I thought

  I had you figured out,

  But in the course of life,

  I learned that nothing's

  What it seems about.

  You get told

  How you have to be.

  No one's the same as they say.

  I say

  Hey,

  You're not me.

 

  You're not me,

  But you're not you.

  You can't be what you want

  If you act like they do.

  You've proved

  That I'm right.

  I'm wrong.

  I can't

  Belong anymore.

 

  I thought

  I had you figured out,

  But in the course of life,

  I learned that nothing's

  What it seems about.

  You get told

  How you have to be.

  No one's the same as they say.

  I say

  Hey,

  You're not me.

 

  You are what they make you

  When they design

  Your every bit of being,

  And they will

  Cuz they can,

  And you can't.

  Make sure to check out our most downloaded books. Everything on this list has been downloaded at least 250 times each. They're hot and only getting hotter! Most of these books are 100% free. Including: Erotica, Historical Fiction, Horror, Romance, Humor, Poetry, Historical Research, and more!

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