Girl on the Sidelines

Girl on the Sidelines

  By

  Jade Herrera

  * * * * *

  Published by:

  Girl on the Sidelines

  Copyright © 2012 by Jade Herrera

  Introduction

  Through every chapter of my life, poetry became the music that harmonizes with my thoughts and feelings. In this book I open another chapter of my life with poetry I have written based on important details that colored the blank pages of my life.

  I am opening myself to the world, offering them songs of poetry I have written and composed with the lyrics and melodies of my heart and soul. And this time around you will meet the real girl who is writing behind poems and singing unknown songs.

  The Girl on the Sidelines

  Four years I spent cheering you on

  Shouting number thirteen as you run along

  Even when the odds were against you

  For me you always won.

  Sitting on the sideline as I waved your number up

  You turned at my direction

  Acknowledging my presence with a smile

  Only to realize it was meant for the girl sitting behind.

  When the crowd goes home

  I walk towards you with open arms

  But you pass right through me

  And forget that I was even there.

  Left behind I watched you walk away

  With you holding her hands

  Hoping that one day you would notice

  That I am the girl always waiting on the sidelines.

  And when I get my chance with you

  Not even for a moment do you even see

  The girl who dreams of you every time

  While you talk about her all year round.

  When you cried each time she broke your heart

  I wiped the tears that fell on your eyes

  Tried to paint on you another smile

  And let you sleep on my arms.

  But you never noticed my heart was bleeding

  That I force myself to smile so you won’t see me hurting

  But I don’t think you’d even care

  Because you only look away and I’m lost in your memory.

  And when the game is done and we’re left alone

  You leave me again and drive her home

  And you even waved goodbye

  To the girl who’s still waiting on the sidelines.

  I dream of the moment when you’d finally see

  I’m the girl who dreams of you every time

  But you only look away and I realized

  I will always be the girl on the sidelines.

  I’m always the girl watching you on the sidelines

  I am always the girl waiting on the sidelines.

  I Wish I was Young

  I'm staring at old photographs

  Where I was cradled in my father's arms

  I smile and wish I was still a child

  Without a care in the world and time was all I had.

  Back when everything was funny,

  And it felt great being silly.

  Jumping up and down in bed,

  Thinking I was in the clouds that were fluffy.

  When you could play all day long

  And laugh with the birds and then sing along.

  Dance in the rain and dive under the pillows

  And fear those pretend monsters.

  I clasp the pictures in my hand,

  Wonder where that carefree child has gone

  In her place instead is a girl with a broken heart

  Her dreams shattered and her laughter gone.

  And I could never try and pretend

  I was a Princess in my fairytale land

  I knew my Prince Charming would never come

  He has hurt me and was long away gone.

  I can't pretend everything is funny

  That I don't have anything to worry

  I wish I was still a child

  And I was my Daddy's little baby.

  When I could wrap a hand in his finger as we walked

  And my Mother would dress me up for school

  Believing that no one could ever break my heart

  And time was all I had.

  When I would sleep and the lights were on

  Hugging Mr. Teddy Bear who's the greatest friend in the world

  Listen to Daddy's footsteps as he left the room

  While he sings my favorite song.

  Now I'm alone in bed and all grown up

  Wondering where that carefree child has gone

  As I noticed the gray hairs in my parents' head

  And know I would never have the time.

  Putting on my make-up, as I fixed my hair

  I see my reflection on the mirror

  Remember the time when swimming on the dirt was fun

  And I could wear my mother's apron.

  As I clasp the pictures in my hand

  Wondering where that carefree child has gone

  I wish I was still young

  And all I ever had was time.