Chicken Soup for the Expectant Mother's Soul

  What People Are Saying About

  Chicken Soup for the

  Expectant Mother’s Soul . . .

  “This book inspires courage, trust and honesty, and celebrates the most incredible rite of passage in a woman’s life. Thank you!”

  Julia Loggins

  mother and coauthor, The Unimaginable Life

  “Thank you to the authors of this book for sharing their personal stories of the glory of motherhood. Every expectant mother should read and remember the excitement of being with child.”

  Deborah Wilson, M.D.

  obstetrician-gynecologist

  “Chicken Soup for the Expectant Mother’s Soul is a page-by-page reminder of the beauty, honor and privilege of being a mother.”

  Loren Slocum

  mother, speaker and author,

  No Greater Love: Being an Extraordinary Mommy

  “Finally . . . A very special book to celebrate this special time in a mother’s life.”

  Eileen O. Steele

  RNC, Ambulatory Women’s Health Care

  CHICKEN SOUP

  FOR THE

  EXPECTANT

  MOTHER’S SOUL

  Stories to Inspire and Warm the Hearts

  of Soon-to-Be Mothers

  Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Aubery & Nancy Mitchell

  Backlist, LLC, a unit of

  Chicken Soup for the Soul Publishing, LLC

  Cos Cob, CT

  www.chickensoup.com

  Contents

  Introduction

  Baby’s Choice Colleen M. Story

  1. WE’RE PREGNANT

  It Will Change Your Life Dale Hanson Bourke

  I’m Ready Kristen Cook

  The Journey Begins Jim Warda

  Inner Sight Ami McKay

  Delayed Gratification Patricia K. Cameransi

  Enjoy Your Baby Heather Black

  Breaking the News Helen Colella

  Great Expectations Liane Kupferberg Carter

  2. NINE MONTHS AND COUNTING

  Did You Just Eat a Watermelon? Anna Wight

  Flying Nicole Smith

  My Baby Brother John Conklin

  The Eleventh Hour Melanie L. Huber

  Garbage Day Gil Goodwin

  Notes of an Expectant Father Scott Cramer

  My Hero Patricia Franklin

  I Know What You’ve Been Doing! Becky Walker

  A State of Bliss Jan Butsch

  Hair Raising Susan Everett

  A Mother’s Journey Elizabeth Butera

  Expectant-ness Barbara Warner

  3. FOR EXPECTANT FATHERS

  Father Hens Hugh O’Neil

  Deep in Dadland T. Brian Kelly

  Love Letters Robin Silverman

  The Mercedes Ken Swarner

  Daddy’s Girl Nancy M. Surella

  I’ve Never Been So Scared David E. Mittman

  4. CHALLENGES ALONG THE WAY

  The Baby’s Stash James A. Nelson

  A Precious Gift Kelli S. Jones

  My Unborn Baby Saved My Life Elisa Kayser Klein

  A Gift of Love Phyllis DeMarco

  To My Child Heather James

  How Bubba Lukey Got His Name Del Doughty

  The Mouth That Roared Barbara Hoffman

  Tears Bonnie J. Mansell

  Miracle Baby Bill Holton

  Lesson in Courage Ami Fox as told to Dianne Gill

  Dads Will Be Dads Susan M. Lang

  A Life or Death Decision Heather Black

  Cute, Cuddly and Calls All the Shots Ray Recchi

  5. SPECIAL DELIVERY

  A Trusting Love LeAnn Thieman

  Why Our Son Is Named Fox Mary Jane Strong

  Baby on Board Allan Zullo and John McGran

  Baby Mall Carol McAdoo Rehme

  Pre-Parenthood Jeanne Marie Laskas

  The Labors of Love Claire Simon Laisser

  Two for One Elisabeth Sartorius

  Our Story Judy Ryan

  Letting Go Kate Andrus

  6. SMALL MIRACLES

  Blessed Laughter Susanna Burkett Chenoweth

  Grandpa’s Precious Gift Sharon Crismon

  My Father’s Tears Robin Clifton

  Miracle of Life Antoinette Bosco

  Love, Friendship and Miracles Debbie Graziano

  Book of Dreams Barbara Mackey

  Sickest Baby in the ICU Cindy Anderson

  7. MEMORABLE MOMENTS

  Generations Sherrie Page Najarian

  I Was Chosen Tucker Viccellio as told to Susan Alexander Yates and Allison Yates Gaskins

  Keeping the High Watch Eileen Davis

  Grandpa’s Surprise Ruth M. Henshaw

  Love Notes Debra Ayers Brown

  To Our Baby Girl Audrie LaVigne

  Baby Toys Lynne Murphy

  A Friendly Face Jennifer Reed

  Unexpected Blessings Cynthia Hummel

  Man in Labor Brenda Ford Miller

  The Decision Cindy Barksdale

  Fingerprints Mary Ostyn

  Baby for Sale Marsha Priesmeyer

  For Now Caroline Castle Hicks

  Love in the Rearview Mirror Jim Warda

  Breathe Lynn Noelle Mossburg

  8. ON MOTHERHOOD

  My Previous Life Gayle Sorensen Stringer

  Good to Be Home Jackie Fleming

  Everything Old Is New Again Francoise Inman

  They’ll Be Fine Patsy Hughes

  Rhymes and Reasons Antionette Ishmael

  The Beholder’s Eye Carol McAdoo Rehme

  The Hug Martine Ehrenclou

  Alone Time for Mom Crystal Kirgiss

  Let Me Michelle Mariotti

  Happy Birthing Day to Me Deborah Shouse

  Seems Like Yesterday Lynn Plourde

  A Perfect Gift for a Not So Perfect Mother Kyle Louise Jossi

  That Day Ann Mainse

  I Wonder Now, What Moment Lori Elmore-Moon

  9. EXPECTANT WISDOM

  If I Were Starting My Family Again John Drescher

  Children Are . . . Meiji Stewart

  Fantasy and Reality Clash with Birth of New Baby Jan Butsch

  United States of Motherhood Joanna Slan

  Surviving the Early Years of Momhood Jacqueline D. Carrico

  Who Are Harder to Raise . . . Boys or Girls? Erma Bombeck

  On Being the Mother of Twins Marion Bond West

  So You Want to Be a Mother? Erma Bombeck

  Growing Up Pains Liane Kupferberg Carter

  Love Letters to My Daughter Judith Hayes

  Guilt-Free Parenting Sharon Linnéa

  Who Is Jack Canfield?

  Who Is Mark Victor Hansen?

  Who Is Patty Aubery?

  Who Is Nancy Mitchell?

  Contributors

  Permissions

  “Let’s try getting up every night at 2:00 A.M.

  to feed the cat. If we enjoy doing that, then

  we can talk about having a baby.”

  Reprinted by permission of Randy Glasbergen. ©1997 Randy Glasbergen.

  Introduction

  “You’re pregnant.” These words can be the most exciting—and perhaps terrifying—words in a woman’s life. So begins the time of waiting, watching and preparing. Nothing will ever be the same again. Our bodies undergo vast changes, while our emotions run the gamut from anticipation to awe when we feel the first flutterings of life inside us, to anxiety about labor and our ability to parent. From nausea to euphoria, pregnancy is definitely a thrilling ride.

  Whether you’re pregnant or awaiting adoption, Chicken Soup for the Expectant Mother’s Soul will be a steadfast companion for the expectant woman and, indeed,
the entire family—including the parents-to-be, grandparents-to-be, as well as any siblings of the new baby who are bursting with unbridled enthusiasm to greet the newest addition. These stories will entertain, comfort and inspire you while you wait for the arrival of your precious newborn.

  Most likely, if you’re pregnant, you work either in or out of the home, and have a million and one things to distract you from the miracle occurring right inside your own body. Reading this book will help expectant mothers savor all the different facets of the unique experience of pregnancy.

  In older cultures, women sat together to share stories of their life experiences. The younger women benefited from the company of older and wiser women, who helped them understand the mysterious events surrounding pregnancy and childbirth. Think of this book as your own portable support group of women.

  For the first-time mom, these stories will provide invaluable insights about getting pregnant, breaking the wonderful news to her spouse and family, and going through those important nine months—the unique joys, sensations and discomforts that bind all pregnant women together. In this book, women—and men—share their experiences of labor and birth, as well as dealing with a newborn.

  Experienced moms will laugh and cry at these stories, reassured that they are not alone, as they relive some of their own experiences related in these pages.

  Of course, dads are an important part of this journey too, so we’ve included stories from the father’s point of view which both new and experienced dads will enjoy.

  We also included some stories about complicated pregnancies, so that women facing these same kinds of challenges would find comfort in the knowledge that difficult pregnancies can still produce happy, healthy babies.

  As you can see, Chicken Soup for the Expectant Mother’s Soul has something in it for everyone, but most importantly for the expecting mom expanding emotionally and physically with the growing life inside of her. Reading these stories will validate her vision that becoming a mother brings deep and abiding rewards. It is our sincere wish that this book will help you remain inspired, excited and courageous until that indescribable moment when you can finally hold your new baby in your arms. May you have a happy and healthy pregnancy.

  Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Aubery

  and Nancy Mitchell with Carol Kline

  Coauthor, Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul II

  Baby’s Choice

  Did you ever think, dear Mother,

  As the seeds of me you sowed,

  As you breathed new life inside of me

  And slowly watched me grow,

  In all your dreams about me

  When you planned me out so well,

  When you couldn’t wait to have me there

  Inside your heart to dwell,

  Did you ever think that maybe

  I was planning for you, too,

  And choosing for my very own

  A mother just like you?

  A mother who smelled sweet and who

  Had hands so creamy white,

  A tender, loving creature

  Who would soothe me in the night?

  Did you ever think in all those days

  While you were coming due,

  That as you planned a life for me

  I sought a life with you?

  And now as I lay in your arms,

  I wonder if you knew

  While you were busy making me,

  I was choosing you!

  Colleen M. Story

  1

  WE’RE

  PREGNANT

  Babies are such a nice way to start people.

  Don Herold

  It Will Change Your Life

  Time is running out for my friend. We were sitting at lunch when she casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of “starting a family.” What she means is that her biological clock has begun its countdown, and she is being forced to consider the prospect of motherhood.

  “We’re taking a survey,” she says, half-joking. “Do you think I should have a baby?”

  “It will change your life.” I say carefully, keeping my tone neutral.

  “I know,” she says. “No more sleeping in on Saturdays, no more spontaneous vacations.”

  But that is not what I mean at all. I look at my friend, trying to decide what to tell her.

  I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of childbearing heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will be forever vulnerable.

  I consider warning her that she will never read a newspaper again without asking, “What if that had been my child?” That every plane crash, every fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

  I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of “Mom!” will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moment’s hesitation.

  I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for child care, but one day she will be going into an important meeting and she will think about her baby’s sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her child is all right.

  I want my friend to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five-year-old boy’s desire to go to the men’s room rather than the women’s at McDonald’s will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in the restroom. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

  Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years—not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her children accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.

  My friend’s relationship with her husband will change, but not in the ways she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is always careful to powder that baby or who never hesitates to play with his son or daughter. I think she should know that she will fall in love with her husband again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

  I wish my friend could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried desperately to stop war and prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threats of nuclear war to my children’s future.

  I want to describe to my friend the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to hit a baseball. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it hurts.

  My friend’s quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. “You’ll never regret it,” I say finally. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my friend’s hand, and offer a prayer for her and me and all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into the holiest of callings.

  Dale Hanson Bourke

  I’m Ready

  I stared at the stick in disbelief. Two straight, pink lines. No doubt about it—pregnant.

  Oh my God!

  A mix of excitement and sheer terror washed over me. Sure, my husband and I had talked about having a baby. I just didn’t think it would happen so f
ast. It seemed like one minute we were talking and the next, I was standing in front of the drugstore’s home pregnancy section debating whether I should buy the single- or the two-test pack.

  I had a feeling—early mother’s intuition maybe?—and bought just a single test. That was all I needed. We were having a baby. And I’d never even changed a diaper.

  What were we thinking?

  My husband, Joe, developed the baby pangs a year ago. I, on the other hand, was seized by fear. I wasn’t ready. I’d look at a baby and mentally count the bottles of Pepto-Bismol the parents would consume once that bundle of joy hit those turbulent teens, or I’d calculate how much four years of college would cost. Then the baby bug bit me—and not a second too soon.

  Now my body’s on this wild, hormonal ride, and I have to say, sometimes I want to get off.

  I’m close to thirty years old, but my complexion is sixteen. Nausea is my constant companion. My friends even ask for upchuck updates. I never drive anywhere without an air-sickness bag by my side, and I’ve thrown up in so many restaurant parking lots that I’ve thought about asking if I could just rent my dinners instead of buying them. My bladder has shrunk to the size of a lima bean, requiring me to pee exactly every thirteen minutes.

  And I’m so acutely tuned in to pain—yeah, that bodes well for an easy labor and delivery—that I swear, early on, I could feel each and every cell dividing. Hypochondriacs are not good pregnant women.

  More proof. When two barf-free weeks passed, I panicked. I felt so normal I figured something had to be wrong. Maybe I wasn’t having a baby after all. Maybe it was a hysterical pregnancy. My husband assured me the only thing hysterical about this pregnancy is me.

  And my maternity underwear.

  I’m not sure which is scarier—having my body feel so out of control or those enormous, one-size-fits-all panties. At four months, my belly’s still at that awkward is-she-pregnant-or-is-that-a-beer-gut stage. My little Buddha belly is enough to keep me out of my stylish silk undies, but it’s still too small for the maternity briefs. I can pull those things up over my chest.

  I think I just invented combination bra and underwear. I’ll call it the brunder. If I can sell that idea to Victoria’s Secret, no more worries about our kiddo’ s college tuition. But I have to say, the most amazing transformation of all—even more than filling out that maternity underwear some day—is how neurotic I’ve become about this little person who isn’t even born yet. It all hit when I saw the first sonogram of our baby on the monitor. That’s when I really and truly realized this was our baby. Our baby. The nausea and frequent urination, all the inconveniences, well, they just melted away. They didn’t matter anymore as I looked at this amazing person. Our baby.