The Billionaire's First Christmas - A Sweet Christmas Romance, Page 24

December 22nd will go down in my own personal history as one of the worst nights of my life. I didn’t really have bad days, or nights. Besides work, I went out of my way to keep my stress level to a minimum, until I met Robyn and seemed to screw up over and over again. The night of the party wasn’t going so badly until I left Robyn sitting underneath the mistletoe in the snow. The look on her face made my heart feel like it was literally breaking. That in itself was a feat, since I’d built a solid wall of ice around it years before.

  I had so much fun dancing with her. Not only did she feel wonderful in my arms, she was singing in my ear and it was beautiful and she smelled good enough to eat. I got a little carried away with it until I realized I was having too much fun and we were the center of the entire room’s attention. I told myself that walking away before it went any further was the right thing to do. I was the CEO of the company, after all. I did have a reputation to uphold. Plus, there were the concerns I had about Robyn. I worried about getting too close to her at a time of year when I only craved solitude. I hadn’t wanted to complicate things, but the look on her face made me want to go back and take her into my arms, kiss her passionately, and apologize profusely for being the biggest ass on the face of the earth. Obviously, since it was already the 24th of December and I still hadn’t talked to her… I didn’t turn around and go back. I’d taken the coward’s way out.

  I hadn’t slept in two days. The first night I went over and over it in my head. By the end of the night that pitiful look on her face and the sight of her sitting there in the snow with her cheeks flushed and her hair turning white was burned into my brain and my heart. The next day I didn’t even get out of bed. I was the CEO of one of the top ten most successful companies in the world. I hadn’t spent an entire day in bed since… ever. But on December 23rd, I lay in my bed from sunup until sundown, feeling like a zit on the underbelly of humanity. Jeffrey brought me lunch and asked about Robyn.

  “How should I know how she’s doing?” I snapped at him. “She’s just an employee. I have no idea how she is.”

  “Excuse me sir,” he said in a sarcastic tone. “I was under the impression you cared for the young lady.”

  “Well I don’t, Jeffrey. Like I said, she’s an employee.” It sounded false to my own ears. It must have sounded false to his as well. He gave me a disapproving look, but no more disapproving than the one I was giving myself inwardly. I’d told myself over and over not to encourage her, but I’d done it anyways and then I walked away.

  He finally left and I was glad. It was hard enough to have my own accusing eyes on me, but to also have his as well was too much. After he left, I’d gone back into hibernation mode.

  I finally fell asleep sometime around three a.m. on Christmas Eve. I woke up about five hours later. I lay there for a minute, considering what I was going to do with my day. My plane wasn’t leaving until the late afternoon, but spending a second day in bed wasn’t an option. I got up and showered and finished packing. I ate a light breakfast and had my coffee, but then I was at a loss for what to do for the rest of the day until it was time to leave. It was another first for me. Usually, if I had a free hour or two I’d work. There was always work that I could do. I could always answer an email or ten, review a report or fifty and research new parts of the world that I wanted to break into. Today I was too preoccupied. I was afraid if I even tried, I would make a decision that I might later regret just because of the mood I was in. I still couldn’t get my mind off of Robyn, wondering if she would speak to me when I got back from my trip, wondering if we could possibly start over. I suddenly realized that I felt like I was choking on all of this indecision. I hated it. I needed some air. I had to get out of the apartment.

  Jeffrey was supposed to pick me up to go to the airport later in the afternoon. I sent him a message that I’d decided to drive myself and would just park in long-term parking. I text him instead of calling, he was probably relieved. He had grown fond of Robyn and I’m sure that it was hard for him to keep his tongue in check about the way I’ve treated her. He was a complete professional, but the day before I could see on his face that it was eating away at him. He had known me for a long time. I’m sure he could easily read me and he knew I was lying about not having feelings for her.

  I sat the luggage I’d packed just inside the door of the apartment so it would be easy to gather and load when I got back. I honestly had no idea where I was going or what I would do when I got there. All I knew was that I needed a change of scenery and some fresh air before I suffocated. I drove aimlessly around the city for almost an hour when I suddenly realized where I was. I was in the vicinity of the Christmas fair that Robyn and I had gone to the day she was the “boss.” Surprising myself, I found a parking spot and wandered through the parking lot and into the park where the fair was going on. It was like I was being led by some kind of invisible force.

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  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

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  AARON