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1q84, Page 9

Haruki Murakami


  She closed her book and returned it to her bag. Now she took the initiative.

  “You like Cutty Sark?”

  He looked shocked, as if he could not grasp the meaning of her question. Then he relaxed his expression. “Oh, yes, Cutty Sark,” he said, as if it suddenly came back to him. “I’ve always liked the label, the sailboat.”

  “So you like boats.”

  “Sailboats especially.”

  Aomame raised her glass. The man raised his highball glass slightly. It was almost a toast.

  Aomame slung her bag on her shoulder and, whiskey glass in hand, slipped over two seats to the stool next to his. He seemed a little surprised but struggled not to show it.

  “I was supposed to meet an old high school girlfriend of mine here, but it looks like I’ve been stood up,” Aomame said, glancing at her watch. “She’s not even calling.”

  “Maybe she got the date wrong.”

  “Maybe. She’s always been kind of scatterbrained,” Aomame said. “I guess I’ll wait a little longer. Mind keeping me company? Or would you rather be alone?”

  “No, not at all,” the man said, though he sounded somewhat uncertain. He knit his brows and looked at her carefully, as if assessing an object to be used as collateral. He seemed to suspect her of being a prostitute. But Aomame was clearly not a prostitute. He relaxed and let his guard down a little.

  “Are you staying in this hotel?” he asked.

  “No, I live in Tokyo,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m just here to meet my friend. And you?”

  “In town on business,” he said. “From Osaka. For a meeting. A stupid meeting, but the company headquarters are in Osaka, so somebody had to come.”

  Aomame gave him a perfunctory smile. I don’t give a shit about your business, mister, she thought, I just happen to like the shape of your head.

  “I needed a drink after work. I’ve got one more job to finish up tomorrow morning, and then I head back to Osaka.”

  “I just finished a big job myself,” Aomame said.

  “Oh, really? What kind of work do you do?”

  “I don’t like to talk about my work. It’s a kind of specialized profession.”

  “Specialized profession,” the man responded, repeating her words. “A profession requiring specialized techniques and training.”

  What are you, some kind of walking dictionary? Silently, she challenged him, but she just kept on smiling and said, “Hmm, I wonder …”

  He took another sip of his highball and a handful of nuts from the bowl. “I’m curious what kind of work you do, but you don’t want to talk about it.”

  She nodded. “Not yet, at least.”

  “Does it involve words, by any chance? Say, you might be an editor or a university researcher?”

  “What makes you think that?”

  He straightened the knot of his necktie and redid the top button of his shirt. “I don’t know, you seemed pretty absorbed in that big book of yours.”

  Aomame tapped her fingernail against the edge of her glass. “No, I just like to read. Without any connection to work.”

  “I give up, then. I can’t imagine.”

  “No, I’m sure you can’t,” she said, silently adding, “Ever.”

  He gave her a casual once-over. Pretending to have dropped something, she bent over and gave him a good, long look at her cleavage and perhaps a peek at her white bra with lace trim. Then she straightened up and took another sip of her Cutty Sark on the rocks. The large, rounded chunks of ice clinked against the sides of her glass.

  “How about another drink?” he asked. “I’ll order one too.”

  “Please,” Aomame replied.

  “You can hold your liquor.”

  Aomame gave him a vague smile but quickly turned serious. “Oh, yes, I wanted to ask you something.”

  “What would that be?”

  “Have policemen’s uniforms changed lately? And the type of guns they carry?”

  “What do you mean by ‘lately’?”

  “In the past week,” she said.

  He gave her an odd look. “Police uniforms and guns both underwent a change, but that was some years back. The jackets went from a stiff, formal style to something more casual, almost like a windbreaker. And they started carrying those new-model automatic pistols. I don’t think there have been any changes since then.”

  “Japanese policemen always carried old-fashioned revolvers, I’m sure. Right up to last week.”

  The man shook his head. “Now there, you’re wrong. They all started carrying automatics quite some time ago.”

  “Can you say that with absolute certainty?”

  Her tone gave him pause. He wrinkled his brow and searched his memory. “Well, if you put it that way, I can’t be one hundred percent sure, but I know I saw something in the papers about the switch to new pistols. It caused quite a stir. The usual citizens’ groups were complaining to the government that the pistols were too high-powered.”

  “And this was a while ago?” Aomame asked.

  The man called over the middle-aged bartender and asked him when the police changed their uniforms and pistols.

  “In the spring two years ago,” the bartender replied, without hesitation.

  “See?” the man said with a laugh. “Bartenders in first-class hotels know everything!”

  The bartender laughed as well. “No, not really,” he said. “It just so happens my younger brother is a cop, so I clearly remember that stuff. My brother couldn’t stand the new uniforms and was always complaining about them. And he thought the new pistols were too heavy. He’s still complaining about those. They’re 9mm Beretta automatics. One click and you can switch them to semiautomatic. I’m pretty sure Mitsubishi’s making them domestically under license now. We almost never have any out-and-out gun battles in Japan; there’s just no need for such a high-powered gun. If anything, the cops have to worry now about having their guns stolen from them. But it was government policy back then to upgrade the force.”

  “What happened to the old revolvers?” Aomame asked, keeping her voice as calm as she could.

  “I’m pretty sure they were all recalled and dismantled,” the bartender said. “I remember seeing it on television. It was a huge job dismantling that many pistols and scrapping all that ammunition.”

  “They should have just sold everything abroad,” said the thinning-haired company man.

  “The constitution forbids the export of weapons,” the bartender pointed out modestly.

  “See? Bartenders in first-class hotels—”

  Aomame cut the man off and asked, “You’re telling me that Japanese police haven’t used revolvers at all for two years now?”

  “As far as I know.”

  Aomame frowned slightly. Am I going crazy? I just saw a policeman wearing the old-style uniform and carrying an old revolver this morning. I’m sure I never heard a thing about them getting rid of every single revolver, but I also can’t believe that these two middle-aged men are wrong or lying to me. Which means I must be mistaken.

  “Thanks very much. I’ve heard all I need to about that,” she said to the bartender, who gave her a professional smile like a well-timed punctuation mark and went back to work.

  “Do you have some special interest in policemen?” the middle-aged man asked her.

  “No, not really,” Aomame answered, adding vaguely, “It’s just that my memory has gotten a little foggy”

  They drank their new Cutty Sarks—the man his highball and Aomame hers on the rocks. The man talked about sailboats. He moored his small sailboat in the Nishinomiya yacht harbor, he said. He took it out to the ocean on holidays and weekends. He spoke passionately of how wonderful it was to feel the wind as you sailed alone on the sea. Aomame didn’t want to hear about any damned sailboats. Better for him to talk about the history of ball bearings or the distribution of mineral resources in Ukraine. She glanced at her watch and said, “Look, it’s getting late. Can I just ask you something st
raight out?”

  “Sure,” he replied.

  “It’s, uh, rather personal.”

  “I’ll answer if I can.”

  “Do you have a decent-sized cock? Is it on the big side?”

  The man’s lips parted and his eyes narrowed as he looked at her for a while. He could not quite believe he had heard her correctly. But her face was utterly serious. She was not joking. Her eyes made that clear.

  “Let me see,” he said, speaking earnestly. “I’m not really sure. I guess it’s pretty much normal size. I don’t know what to say when you spring it on me like that.”

  “How old are you?” Aomame asked.

  “I just turned fifty-one last month, but …,” he said.

  “You’ve been living more than fifty years with a normal brain, you have a decent job, you even own your own sailboat, and still you can’t tell whether your cock is bigger or smaller than normal?”

  “Well, I suppose it could be a little bigger,” he said with a degree of difficulty after giving it some thought.

  “You’re sure, now?”

  “Why are you so concerned?”

  “Concerned? Who says I’m concerned?”

  “Well, no one, but …,” he said, recoiling slightly atop his bar stool. “That seems to be the problem we’re discussing at the moment.”

  “Problem? It’s no problem. No problem at all,” Aomame declared. “I just happen to like big cocks. Visually speaking. I’m not saying I need a big one to feel anything, no no. Or that I’m okay with anything as long as it’s big. All I’m saying is I tend to like ’em on the big side. Is there something wrong with that? People have their likes and dislikes. But ridiculously big ones are no good. They just hurt. Do you see what I mean?”

  “Well, then, I might be able to please you with mine. It’s somewhat bigger than standard, I think, but it’s not ridiculously big, either. It’s—shall I say?—just right …”

  “You’re not lying to me, now?”

  “What would be the point of lying about something like that?”

  “Well, all right, then, maybe you should give me a peek.”

  “Here?”

  Aomame frowned while struggling to control herself. “Here?! Are you crazy? What are you thinking, at your age? You’re wearing a good suit and even a tie, but where’s your social common sense? You can’t just whip out your cock in a place like this. Imagine what the people around you would think! No, we go to your room now, and I let you take your pants off and show me. Just the two of us. That much should be obvious to you.”

  “So I show you, and then what happens?” he asked worriedly.

  “What happens after you show it to me?” Aomame asked, catching her breath and producing a major uncontrolled frown. “We have sex, obviously. What else? I mean, we go to your room, you show me your cock, and I say, ‘Thank you very much for showing me such a nice one. Good night,’ and I go home? You must have a screw loose somewhere.”

  The man gasped to see Aomame’s face undergoing such dramatic changes before his eyes. A frown from Aomame could make any man shrivel up. Little children might pee in their pants, the impact of her frown was so powerful. Maybe I overdid it, she thought. I really shouldn’t frighten him so badly. At least not until I’ve taken care of business. She quickly returned her face to its normal state and forced a smile. Then, as if spelling it out for him, she said, “Here’s what happens. We go to your room. We get in bed. We have sex. You’re not gay or impotent, are you?”

  “No, I don’t believe so. I have two children …”

  “Look, nobody’s asking you how many kids you’ve got. Do I look like a census taker? Keep the details to yourself. All I’m asking is whether you can get it up when you’re in bed with a woman. Nothing else.”

  “As far back as I can remember, I’ve never failed to perform when necessary,” he said. “But tell me—are you a professional? Is this your job?”

  “No, it is not my job, so you can stop that right now. I am not a professional, or a pervert, just an ordinary citizen. An ordinary citizen who wants nothing more than to have intercourse with a member of the opposite sex. There’s nothing special about me. I’m totally normal. What could be wrong with that? I’ve just finished a tough job, the sun is down, I’ve had a little to drink, and I’d like to let off steam by having sex with a stranger. To calm my nerves. That’s what I need. You’re a man, you know how I feel.”

  “Of course I do, but …”

  “I’m not looking for any money. I’d almost pay you if you can satisfy me. And I’ve got condoms with me, so you don’t have to worry. Am I making myself clear?”

  “You certainly are, but …”

  “But what? You don’t seem all that eager. Am I not good enough for you?”

  “That’s not it at all. I just don’t get it. You’re young and pretty, and I’m old enough to be your father …”

  “Oh, stop it, will you please? Sure you’re a lot older than me, but I’m not your damn daughter, and you’re not my damn father. That much is obvious. It sets my nerves on edge to be subjected to such meaningless generalizations. I just like your bald head. I like the way it’s shaped. Do you see?”

  “Well, I wouldn’t exactly call myself bald. I know my hairline is a little …”

  “Shut up, will you?” Aomame said, trying her best not to frown. I shouldn’t scare him too much, she thought, softening her tone somewhat. “That’s really not important.”

  Look, mister, I don’t care what you think, you are bald. If the census had a “bald” category, you’d be in it, no problem. If you go to heaven, you’re going to bald heaven. If you go to hell, you’re going to bald hell. Have you got that straight? Then stop looking away from the truth. Let’s go now. I’m taking you straight to bald heaven, nonstop.

  The man paid the bill and they went to his room.

  His penis was in fact somewhat larger than normal, though not too large, as advertised. Aomame’s expert handling soon made it big and hard. She took off her blouse and skirt.

  “I know you’re thinking my breasts are small,” she said coldly as she looked down at him in her underwear. “You came through with a good-sized cock and all you get in return is these puny things. I bet you feel cheated.”

  “Not at all,” he reassured her. “They’re not that small. And they’re really quite beautiful.”

  “I wonder,” she said. “Let me just say this, though. I never wear these frilly lace bras. I had to put this one on today for work, to show off a little cleavage.”

  “What is this work of yours?”

  “Look, I told you before. I don’t want to discuss my job here. I can say this much, though: it’s not that easy being a woman.”

  “Well, it’s not that easy being a man, either.”

  “Maybe not, but you never have to put on a lacy bra when you don’t want to.”

  “True …”

  “So don’t pretend to know what you’re talking about. Women have it much tougher than men. Have you ever had to climb down a steep stairway in high heels, or climb over a barricade in a miniskirt?”

  “I owe you an apology,” the man said simply.

  She reached back, unhooked her bra, and threw it on the floor. Then she rolled down her stockings and threw those on the floor as well. Lying down beside him, she started working on his penis again. “Pretty impressive,” she said. “Nice shape, just about ideal size, and firm as a tree trunk.”

  “I’m glad it meets with your approval,” he said with apparent relief.

  “Now just let big sister do her thing. She’ll make this little man of yours twitch with happiness.”

  “Maybe we should shower first. I’m pretty sweaty”

  “Oh, shut up,” Aomame said, giving his right testicle a light snap, as if issuing a warning. “I came here to have sex, not take a shower. Got it? We do it first. Fuck like crazy. To hell with a little sweat. I’m not a blushing schoolgirl.”

  “All right,” the man said.

>   When they were finished and she was caressing the back of the man’s exposed neck as he lay facedown, exhausted, Aomame felt a strong urge to plunge her sharp needle into that special place. Maybe I should really do it, the thought flashed through her mind. The ice pick was in her bag, wrapped in cloth. The needle that she had spent so much time sharpening was covered by a specially softened cork. It would have been so easy, just a quick shove of her right palm against the wooden handle. He’d be dead before he knew what hit him. No pain. It would be ruled a natural death. But of course she stopped herself. There was no reason to expunge this man from society, aside from the fact that he no longer served any purpose for Aomame. She shook her head and swept the dangerous thought from her mind.

  This man is not an especially bad person, she told herself. He was pretty good in bed, too. He had enough control not to ejaculate until he had made her come. The shape of his head and the degree of his baldness were just the way she liked them. The size of his penis was exactly right. He was courteous, had good taste in clothes, and was in no way overbearing. True, he was tremendously boring, which really got on her nerves, but that was not a crime deserving death. Probably.

  “Mind if I turn on the television?” she asked.

  “Fine,” he said, still on his stomach.

  Naked in bed, she watched the eleven o’clock news to the end. In the Middle East, Iran and Iraq were still embroiled in their bloody war. It was a quagmire, with no sign of a settlement. In Iraq, young draft dodgers had been strung up on telephone poles as an example to others. The Iranian government was accusing Saddam Hussein of having used nerve gas and biological weapons. In America, Walter Mondale and Gary Hart were battling to become the Democratic candidate for president. Neither looked like the brightest person in the world. Smart presidents usually became the target of assassins, so people with higher-than-average intelligence probably did their best to avoid being elected.