A Necessary Sin, Page 9

  “I think I am.”

  “Good. I’m very open to it again.” Do I dare to do this? Start a relationship, even if it’s only sexual? I’ve never been in any kind of an arrangement like this with a woman. “You should probably be aware of something. I might not know how to treat you. It’s something I’ve never learned.” She should understand my ways early on so there are no surprises later. “I only know how to use fear and violence to make people behave the way I want them to.”

  “You should probably understand now that I won’t allow you to control me with threats.”

  “Then we should be an interesting couple.” I laugh. This is going to be fun.

  “We’re going to be volatile. We should prepare now for this to end badly.” She couldn’t be more right.

  “We’re damned from the start,” I say. “The odds of us working out even for a short time are unfavorable.”

  “You shouldn’t expect much from me.”

  “I’m going to put your worries to rest right now. I expect nothing from you.” That’s good. I doubt I’ll give her anything more than a good heartache.

  I reach to remove the condom and see the blown-out tip. “Aww … fuck!”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Your virginity shredded the condom.” She lifts her head and stares at the busted rubber on my cock. “Please tell me you’re taking birth control.”

  “We probably should’ve discussed this before you came inside me through a broken rubber.” That’s a no.

  She was a virgin until five minutes ago, so that means she has no reason to be on any kind of birth control. “When is your next period due?”

  “My body doesn’t work like that.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I don’t have periods like normal women. There’s no need to go into details about something you care nothing about. Just know that you’ll never have to worry about a baby with me.”

  She can’t get pregnant. Bleu’s pro list is growing. I wonder what’s going on with that. She’s made it clear she doesn’t want to talk about it, so I’ll respect that boundary for now.

  “A pregnancy isn’t a possibility, but I still have to worry about infected penises giving me diseases. When’s the last time you were tested and how many women have you been with since?”

  I just had a quarterly check. “I was tested last week. Everything came back clean. I haven’t been with anyone since. Except you.”

  “Good. Make sure you keep it that way.”

  * * *

  I was fifteen years old when my father told me to never fall asleep next to a woman, especially one I’d just fucked. He said I couldn’t trust her to not kill me in my sleep. I figured Dad knew what he was talking about, so I’ve never taken the chance. Although I once brought women into my bed, I never allowed any of them to spend the night—until now.

  Bleu promised it would be a night of firsts, and it certainly has been.

  I watched her sleep for a while before I turned off the lamp. It had nothing to do with worry or fear she’d kill me while I was sleeping. I simply wanted to enjoy seeing her in my bed.

  I think she had nightmares. She was restless and often mumbled incoherently. Her sleep became so fitful at one point, she screamed. She looked like a frightened animal ready to sprint when I woke her. I encouraged her to tell me what it was about, but she wouldn’t. Instead of talking, we made love again.

  I’m lying on my side with my elbow pressed into the bed and my head propped in my hand when Bleu wakes and looks at me. She smiles and rolls onto her side to face me. “Good mornin’.”

  I grab the bed sheet and give it a yank so I get a peep show of her tits. “Good morning to ye, girls.”

  She playfully slaps my shoulder and pulls the linen up to cover herself. “You live up to your name very well.”

  “Aye, as I should. My sins are very well practiced.”

  “They were very well practiced last night.” She’s grinning, her cheeks blushing.

  I move to get on top of her so I can practice some more, but she puts her hand to my chest, stopping me. “Are you sore?”

  “Not terribly.”

  “Then I didn’t do my job well enough.”

  “You did a fine job.” She crinkles her nose. “But I think my virginity has ruined your linens.”

  I kiss the top of her hand. “I genuinely enjoyed ruining them.”

  “I’ll put them in the wash when we get up. Maybe they’re salvageable.”

  “You don’t have to do that. Agnes will take care of them.”

  “Who’s Agnes?”

  “My neighbor. She comes in a couple times a week to straighten up and do laundry. She’s disabled—has a bad knee from a fall. She’s unable to work so it helps her out with a little extra cash.”

  She’s making that face, the one generally followed by an “aww.” “That’s really generous.”

  “Not really. She gets the funds she needs for her bills and I get a clean place to live. It’s a good partnership.” As this one will be as well.

  She sits up and crisscrosses her legs. She still has the sheet tucked under her arms and I’d like to give it another yank. “Will you be taking me home on your way to the firm?”

  I forgot to tell her. “I worked late the past two nights so I could have today off. I was hoping you’d want to spend it with me.”

  She’s all smiles. “I’d like that very much, but I need a change of clothes.” She crinkles her nose again. “And a toothbrush.”

  The toothbrush is an easy fix but everything else could be a problem. “We’ll go by your place and pick up an overnight bag.”

  “An overnight bag as in the one I should have had for last night, or one for tonight?”

  “Both.”

  * * *

  I wait on the sofa while Bleu gathers her things. “Do I need an outfit for going out tonight?” she calls from the bedroom.

  It’s the third time she’s yelled to ask me a question so I get up and go to her bedroom. “Do you want me to take you out?”

  She jerks around and yelps. “Shit! I thought you were still in the living room.”

  I laugh. “Do you want to go out?”

  “Maybe.” She shrugs. “Dinner and dancing?”

  “Sure, if it’s what you want.”

  She takes out a black dress and holds the hanger at her shoulders to display how it might look on her. “Do you like this one?”

  It looks really short. “Aye. I bet you look great in it.”

  She tosses it on the bed next to her bag and packs a pair of tall, red heels to go with it.

  “Where do you keep your bras and knickers?”

  Her brow lifts and she points toward a small chest. “Top one.”

  I open the drawer and go through her intimates, choosing the ones I like best. I hold up a red lace G-string with matching bra. “You have some exceptionally sexy garments for someone not having sex.”

  “I like the way they make me feel. Would you prefer I wear granny panties?”

  “I don’t know what granny panties are.”

  “Never mind.” She laughs. “You don’t want to know.”

  I hold up a satin bra I don’t particularly care for. “I’d like to take you shopping so I can choose sexy things for you to wear.”

  “Do you have any idea how overbearing that sounds?”

  I don’t care. “I want you to have pretty things.”

  “I have plenty of pretty things.”

  “You do.” But she deserves quality pieces. These items were bought on a photographer’s budget. “I think we can do better. And it’ll be fun.”

  She’s frowning. “I’ll feel like I owe you.”

  “You won’t owe me.” I move toward her and push her back against the wall. I encage her within my hold, pressing my hands against the wall on each side of her head. “If you belonged to me, it would be my job to give you everything you need. And want. I’d very much like to claim you.”

&n
bsp; “What does that mean? To claim me?”

  “It’s me saying you’re mine and no one else’s. I take responsibility for you and your well-being. Physically—I’ll keep you safe. Financially—I’ll take care of everything you need and want. You won’t work because I’ll see to all your expenses.” She gave me her virginity. I’m the only man to ever have her. I plan to keep it that way. “Sexually, we’ve already worked that one out. I’m the only man you’ll give yourself to and vice versa. I won’t be with other women.”

  “It sounds like a formal arrangement. Is this a well-known practice observed by The Fellowship?”

  “Yes, but ours would be a little different. You’re an outsider so you wouldn’t be an acceptable consort for me to claim. We’d be forced to keep it a secret from the brothers, except for Jamie and Leith.”

  “I’m feeling very discriminated against right now.”

  “It’s a rule put in place to prohibit us from going outside the conglomerate to find romantic relationships. It’s necessary to enforce, but I know your intentions. The Fellowship need not fear you.”

  “I suppose I’m not very threatening.” She laughs.

  “Not so much.”

  “You said you’d protect me? Is there a reason I need protection?”

  “I recall you having an issue with grabby hands and I resolved that for you.”

  “We solved that problem together.”

  “Okay, I’ll give you that one.”

  “Financially. I might have a problem with that one. I don’t like feeling like I’m not making my own way.”

  “Then you can do some freelance photography if you like.”

  “You mentioned taking care of me sexually. It’s part of claiming?”

  “I enjoy having you in my bed. I’d like you to be in it every night.”

  “That sounds like you’re asking me to move in.”

  She catches on quickly. “I am.”

  “We’ve spent one night together.”

  “I don’t care. I want you there.”

  She’s silent.

  “Say yes.”

  “I don’t know. What if I snore or do things that irritate you?”

  “You won’t.” I kiss the side of her face. “Say. Yes. Bonny Bleu.”

  “I love hearing you call me that.”

  “If you move in, I’ll call you bonny every night.”

  “I may only be here a few more weeks if things are wrapped up with Aunt Edy’s estate.”

  “Then spend those remaining days with me.”

  She bites her lip and squeezes her eyes. “You’re being very persuasive.” She begins nodding. “I guess we can give it a try. Maybe we won’t kill one another.”

  “Perfect. Pack what you need for tonight and I’ll send Sterling for the rest of your things tomorrow.”

  “You never told me what we were doing today.”

  “We’re meeting Leith and Jamie at the gym.”

  She puts her hands on her hips. “You want to take me to work out?”

  Bleu has an incredibly fit body. “Definitely not. The three of us box, been doing it since we were lads. I thought you might enjoy watching.”

  “Nice. I wouldn’t mind seeing a little friendly battle of swinging fists. I might even join in.”

  I hope she’s kidding. “No way I’m letting you in the ring with those dickheads.”

  She’s grinning. “You think I’ll get hurt?”

  I think Jamie and Leith would be too damn scared to touch a hair on her head. “No, it’s not fitting to put a woman in the ring with a man.”

  She looks offended. “Really?”

  “There’s no match. You’re at least sixty pounds lighter than any one of us.”

  “I can throw a pretty fast punch. My opponent never sees it coming.” She sounds as though it’s something she does on a regular basis.

  “Today, you observe.” I say it as though I might let her get into the ring at some point in the future, but that’ll never happen while she’s with me.

  She grins as she folds a blouse and stuffs it into her bag. “We’ll see.”

  * * *

  Jamie and Leith are already in the ring when we arrive. They stop midfight to ogle us. This should be fun.

  Jamie and Leith know there are things going on between Bleu and me, but I expect both to be completely shocked when I tell them I’ve claimed her.

  “Hello, boys,” Bleu calls out as we walk past. She grins up at me and whispers, “You haven’t told them we’ve been spending time together, have you?”

  “No.”

  “Then this shouldn’t be at all awkward.” She looks at Leith and then back to me. “Are you planning to tell Leith about us while you’re in the ring together?”

  Ah. I think she at least suspects he’s into her. “Aye, and I’m telling him I’ve claimed you as well.”

  “Why would you do it like this?”

  “Leith has a thing for you. If I tell him while we’re wearing the gloves, he can get pissed off and vent so we can get back to good. It’s how we work.”

  “You’re going to let him punch you because you won me?”

  “Hell, no. He’ll have to earn a hit on his own, but by getting in the ring together, I’m giving him the opportunity. He wouldn’t come by it otherwise.”

  She nods. “I get it.”

  “You’d be the first woman.”

  She smiles. “Have you yet to understand that I’m not like other females?”

  “I figured that out the day we met.”

  Bleu sits on the bench as I approach the ring. “You didn’t mention you were bringing anyone,” Jamie says.

  I climb into the enclosure. No need to discuss who my opponent will be—Leith steps into the role without a word. He slams his gloves on top of mine. “Let’s do this.”

  Jamie moves to the corner. “Something going on that I don’t know about?” He’s confused. That means Leith hasn’t confided in Jamie about Bleu.

  “No. Sin’s fucked me over again,” Leith says. “But that’s nothing new.”

  Completely untrue. “I didn’t fuck you over.”

  “Says the mate who’s with the girl I wanted.”

  “She isn’t interested.”

  “She didn’t have a chance to be. You made sure of that.”

  “Bleu met you before me. She’d be with you if she wanted to be.”

  “Hello? Right here, guys,” Bleu calls out. “I can hear everything you’re saying.”

  I stop foot working and bobbing. “Hit me, Leith. You’ll feel better so just do it and get it over with.”

  “Not with a sucker punch. I’m going to beat you fair and square.”

  “We’ve never done anything fair and square in our lives.” I resume the defensive stance.

  “Come on, mates,” Jamie says. “You’re both being arses.”

  “No, Jamie,” I call out. I’m pissed off now. “My best pal wants a real fight so that’s what he’s getting.”

  I bob, dodging Leith’s signature right jab. “When you goin’ to learn that punch is predictable coming from you?”

  Leith’s an out-boxer fighter. That means he stays out of my reach because he knows when I hit, it’s a potential knockout. He steps in and makes the identical punch again, landing it against my right cheek. I roll my shoulder upward and rub it against my face. Motherfucker, that hurt.

  “I don’t guess it’s too predictable since you didn’t see that one coming,” he says, laughing.

  He’s slipping, a maneuver to evade my coming punch, but it’s not enough to avoid the left uppercut I land against his jaw. “Just like you didn’t see that one comin’, pal.”

  I’m a brawler. I don’t have the finesse or the footwork I had before my amputation but my strength is in the power of my punch. I win with knockouts. Hard ones.

  He stumbles backward and shakes his head before stepping in too soon and taking a hook. He closes his eyes and I suspect it’s because he’s seeing stars. “Had enoug
h yet, mate?”

  He growls and charges, attempting to trap me in the clinch so I can’t throw a straight punch, but it’s me who pins his arms instead. The clinch isn’t a strong defense position for me because of my amputation. He knows this so he’s using it against me. He means to take me down in front of Bleu.

  He uses his foot to sweep my prosthesis off balance. I go down hard and fast before he straddles me and begins punching. “Why do you always have to take everything I want? Every. Fucking. Time.” I have no idea what he’s talking about.

  I have to defend myself so I flip him onto his back and land punch after punch against his face before Jamie grabs me beneath my arms and drags me away. “Stop!” he yells.

  I stand and adjust my prosthesis so I can regain my balance. Bleu rushes to get between Leith and me, holding me at bay while looking at my nose. “That escalated quickly.”

  I feel warmth oozing down my face. I put my glove under my shirt and wipe it away. It’s blood, as I suspected. “This is what we do when we have a problem.” I lean around Bleu and look at Leith. “Except for the part where my best mate uses my prosthesis as a way to drop me in front of a lass.” I wipe at the blood continuing to stream from my nose.

  “She knows?” Jamie asks.

  “If she didn’t, she would after that cheap shot.” I take my gloves off and pull my shirt over my head so I can use it to stop the bleeding. “By the way, Leith. Bleu won’t be back to work for you at the bar.”

  “Why?” He looks at her. “Is he paying you to be his whore?”

  Bleu spins around and the peacekeeper becomes the assailant. “Me and you. Gloves off.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not fighting you,” Leith says, laughing.

  “You don’t mind insulting a woman but you’re too much of a gentleman to hit one?” I recognize the stance Bleu takes and laugh inwardly. Leith is in deep shit. He has no idea he needs to take the defensive against Bleu, but he’ll get no warning from me.

  “Come on. You just saw what I’m capable of doing.”

  “I wasn’t impressed.” Bleu delivers a short-straight punch to Leith’s chin, a hit he clearly wasn’t expecting based on his reaction. “You want to know why I chose Muay Thai over the other forms of martial arts and kickboxing?”