Tap, Page 25

She nods and whispers, “Yes.”

  I flatten my tongue and drag it upward several times before pushing her legs back and apart. I love when she squirms beneath me. The way she tilts and lifts her hips, cueing me to what she wants.

  Move faster. Apply more pressure. Change motion. “Ohhh . . . right there’s the spot. That feels so good.” I obey verbal cues as well.

  She grasps the top of my hair and tugs to bring me closer. “Right there, Brou. Just like that. Don’t stop.”

  A moment later, the grip on my hair tightens and her entire body tenses as she shouts, “Ohh . . . ohh.”

  “That didn’t take long.” I begin at her ankles and kiss my way up her inner legs.

  “It’s been almost two weeks. I was ready for that.”

  I can’t suppress the grin spreading on my face. “This next part isn’t going to happen so fast. I plan on taking my time with you. Who knows? This could take all night.”

  “Promise?”

  “Yes.” I stop to kiss the top of her pubic bone. “Always smooth.”

  “One place I don’t go all natural.”

  I rub my hand over her slick skin. “I love it like this.”

  “And I love the feel of your beard against me down there. Best sensation ever.” I love the way she says down there. Like she’s so innocent. Wholesome.

  I move my face from side to side so the stiff hair tickles her. “Like that?”

  “Yesss.”

  I continue up her stomach until I reach her breasts and rub my chin hair over her nipple. “Like it other places too?”

  She sucks air in through her teeth. “Ohh, that is so sensitive.”

  I move upward until my mouth is on the side of her neck and push her hands over her head. “Turn over for me, baby.”

  She rolls to her stomach, hands still over her head, and I kiss the back of her neck. “I love the way that feels.”

  “I know.” I slowly move my way down her body, not daring to leave a single spot neglected. I want her driven crazy and covered in goosebumps.

  I move farther down, beyond her lower back, and nibble her ass cheek. “What are you doing back there?” She giggles.

  “Get on your knees but keep your head down.” I rub my hand over the spot I just nipped with my teeth.

  “That sounds a little kinky. Or a lot kinky.”

  “Maybe. And I bet you’ll love it.” I use my knees to push her legs apart so my mouth is on her from behind.

  “Oh,” she grunts.

  I lick her until she’s rocking against my mouth and panting. Desperate. So close to coming apart. But I have ulterior motive. “You’re not getting off like this again. I did this to build you up so you’ll come around my dick next time.” I love it when her body clenches mine.

  Leaning in close to her ear, I growl, “Was going to take you from behind. But, want to see your eyes. Roll over. Now.”

  She flips over and I lie on top of her so we’re face to face. I run my hands down the length of her arms until I find her hands and lift them over her head. Our fingers are entangled. Love holding her like this.

  She doesn’t take her eyes from mine—doesn’t even blink—when I enter her. But I see the look, the one that tells me how good it feels to have me inside her. Parted lips opening to a full O. Hooded lids. I can never mistake that look of pleasure for any other.

  She brings her legs up and around me so I’m moving deeper inside her. Close is never close enough. I always want her nearer.

  I prop my weight on my elbows and cradle her head inside my lower arms while I stare into her eyes. This is different. So different. Never realized how fucking incredible it is to be inside the woman you love. “I love you, Wren.”

  Our hands are still fisted above her head as I continue slowly moving inside her. Now it’s her squeezing my hands tighter. “I love you, too, Brou.”

  I close my eyes and press my forehead to hers. “Sometimes it feels like I’ll die before I get to see you again.”

  “I know. It’s the same for me. I hate being apart.”

  I pump slowly and deliberately. I covet every second Wren’s body squeezes my dick, as each thrust brings me closer to climax.

  I press a kiss to her lips. “I love being inside you.”

  She clutches her arms and legs around me, locks her ankles behind my back, and holds so tightly I couldn’t free myself if I tried. “Come inside me, Brou.”

  Come inside me, Brou. Those words. They’re my fucking undoing. My body obeys, releasing every drop I have reserved especially for her. I give it freely. Always so good.

  When I’m spent, Wren releases her legs and lets them fall apart so I can nestle between them while still inside her. I love when we lie like this, both of us wet with my cum, and still joined as one. “Let’s talk about how we can make this happen more often, like anytime we want.”

  “I’m up for that.”

  Here we go. No turning back now.

  Lawrence Thorn

  Brou shifts so his arms, instead of my body, take the brunt of his weight. “I want to be with you, like this, every day. Not just six days each month.” It sounds like even less time together when you put it in that perspective.

  His hair falls forward and I push it back so I can clearly see his eyes. Those damn beautiful blue magnets. They suck me in every time I look into them. “That’s what I want too.”

  “This is stating the obvious but one of us has to relocate if we’re going to make that happen.”

  “But it won’t be you.” Another obvious fact even if he’s not saying it.

  “I’m sorry, Wren. I can’t. Everything I have is tied up in this company. Stout and Porter depend on me. I’m not in a place where I can walk away.”

  “I understand.” I would never ask him to give up what he has at Lovibond. It’s too successful to abandon.

  “I know I’m being a selfish bastard, but I’m asking you to come here to be with me.”

  “And do what with my shop? Law of Attraction isn’t a multimillion-dollar company like Lovibond but it earns plenty for me. I’ve worked hard to get where I am. Walking away from all I’ve accomplished wouldn’t be easy.” But I might be willing to do it for a future with Brou.

  “I’ve been thinking about your options. Seems to me you have three. One: hire another employee, maybe two, depending on how the books look. Let Wynter take over your role. You become a fixture in the background and oversee things from a distance.”

  “I don’t like that idea at all. It requires me to fully trust people with my business. My money. I don’t think I can do that.” I trust no one wholly except Ollie.

  “Okay. Option two: relocate the shop to Birmingham.”

  I have concerns about the success of a shop like mine in a town like Birmingham. “I do a ton of business with tourists on River Street. I’m not sure it could stay afloat here.”

  “Option three: sell the shop. You can find work here, maybe at Lovibond. Or not at all. Just come be with me and I’ll take care of you.”

  Take care of me?

  I could never give up my financial independence. I always need a way out. “None of these options are ideal.”

  “I’m all ears if you have something else in mind; I want you to be happy. But I want you to be happy with me.”

  That’s the thing. I can’t think of a better option. “Coming here means giving up my business. My home. All my friends and family, except Ollie. Mostly everything.”

  “Your sacrifice doesn’t go unnoticed. As much as I hate to see you give up the things you love, I’m a selfish bastard. I want you here with me every day. Every night.” I want that too. But do I want it more than the life I’ve established?

  I can’t walk away from everything without some kind of promise. “If I do this, give up my life in Savannah to come here, what kind of commitment are you making to me?”

  “What kind of commitment do you want?”

  “I’d like to know you plan on having a future with me. I can’t give
up everything, come here, and have this end in six months or a year.”

  “I wouldn’t ask you to do all of this if I didn’t want this to be long-term.”

  “Does long-term include asking me to marry you? Have children?”

  Brou moves off me so we’re side by side. “Whoa, Wren. Where is this coming from?”

  Is he really surprised I’m bringing up these things? I’d be a fool if I didn’t. “I’m asking you to be honest with me, and yourself, about our relationship and where you see it going.”

  “I love you and I want to be together. That’s all that matters.” There’s so much more to this and if he can’t see that, we have a problem.

  “I love you, but I need to know where you see our relationship when you picture us a year from now. Five. Ten.” I’d be crazy to give up my life without asking the hard questions.

  “I see us together and happy.” Not specific enough.

  “I’m not asking for a marriage proposal or babies today. I’m not ready for either of those things right now but I need to hear you say both aren’t completely off the table in the future.”

  He rolls away so he’s flat on his back looking at the ceiling instead of me. “You’ve knocked me for a loop, Wren. I wasn’t expecting this conversation tonight. I’m not prepared for it.” Could he not predict I’d want to have a heart-to-heart about marriage and babies since we’re talking about completely uprooting my life?

  “Not today, or tomorrow, but one day I plan on being married. I want to have my husband’s babies. There’s no need in leaving my life behind to come here if you are already certain you’ll never consider marrying me or reversing the vasectomy.”

  He runs his hands through his hair and growls. “You wouldn’t want me for a husband. I was horrible.”

  “You were never a husband. Just a nineteen-year-old kid who knocked up your best friend and then married her because you thought it was the right thing to do.” It was destined to fail from the start.

  “You don’t want kids with me. I was a horrible father.”

  “You didn’t get the chance to be a father.”

  “You don’t know the terrible things I did, the awful words I said and thought, before Eli was born.”

  I’m sure no nineteen-year-old kid is stoked about becoming a father. “Then tell me and I’ll be the judge.”

  He places the palms of his hands over his eyes so his fingers wrap around his forehead into his hair. “Bridgette told me she was pregnant and my first response was denial. I told myself she was wrong. There was no way. We only did it once. But that only got me by until she showed me the pregnancy test.” I think denial is an appropriate response. No harm in that.

  “Next was feeling sorry for myself because I was going to be forced to give up my freedom and all the fun I was having. Instead of partying, I’d be working, married to someone I wasn’t in love with, and taking care of a baby I didn’t want. I pretended I was a standup guy and happy to do the right thing but I wasn’t. I put off marrying Bridgette for months because I hoped she’d lose the baby so we could call off the wedding. I wished my own kid away. And it came true.” This is his darkness. He’s finally showing it to me.

  That’s a terrible burden to carry. “You can’t possibly think Eli’s death was your fault.”

  “Eli was given a death sentence the moment he was conceived. I know that, but you can’t imagine the guilt I’ve carried over how little value I placed on his life in those early months.”

  “You were a kid with immature thoughts.” Completely expected.

  “Bridgette was about halfway through the pregnancy the first time I saw him on the sonogram. We found out he was a boy and decided to name him Eli. I felt his tiny body moving inside Bridg and everything changed. Instead of being a problem I wanted to be rid of, he became my son. I loved him, and I desperately wanted him to live.”

  “Of course, you did.”

  “Even though my feelings changed, and I came to love him, I’ll never forgive myself for wishing him away. It’s a guilt I’ll carry for the rest of my life.”

  “You have to forgive yourself.”

  He says nothing as he stares at the ceiling. I have to convince him he’s worthy of being happy. Being a husband. Fathering another a child.

  I climb over him so I can hold his face. See his eyes. “Brou. You deserve happiness.”

  “And you do too.”

  “Then let’s be happy together.”

  My eyes are locked on his but he breaks the connection by closing his lids. “I fear you want things I can’t give you.”

  Can’t or won’t? There’s a difference.

  “Are you telling me you will never consider marriage or reversing the vasectomy?” His answer will dictate the rest of this relationship.

  I’m terrified; I know how decided he has been about both issues. But that was before me. Before us.

  We’re so damn good together. But I won’t give up my dream. The fairy tale exists, and I’m going to fight for it.

  “Think hard and make sure you mean what you say before you answer.” Either way.

  “I can’t do it, Wren.” Again with the can’t. He could at least use the correct term and say won’t.

  My heart fractures down the middle and shatters into a million shards.

  “I want nothing more than to be with you every day but I’d be lying to get you here if I said I would consider getting married again or reversing the vasectomy.”

  The saddest discovery you can ever make is realizing you’ve fallen truly, madly, and deeply in love with a dream that will never be.

  My mistake.

  I didn’t need a marriage proposal tonight or a promise to give me a child. All I wanted to see was some kind of compromise on Brou’s part so I didn’t feel like I was the only one conceding. Instead, I see how content he is to make no concessions while I give up everything.

  I slide to the side of the bed. “Where are you going?”

  “Bathroom.”

  The door barely shuts before the warm droplets slide down my cheeks.

  I can’t be with a man who uses the past to dictate his future. Or one who cares so little about me, he’s unwilling to compromise. It took a while but I finally love myself too much to settle for that. It required years of counseling to get to this place but I know what I want for my future.

  Part of me wants to cry out, “Why am I not enough?” Maybe even throw a kicking tantrum. But I am wise enough to know this isn’t really about his inability to compromise. He’s never truly dealt with the loss. And it is my heart that will have to break because of it.

  I won’t get my happily ever after with this amazing man.

  There it is. A miserable end to our epic love story. I feel so cheated. It was only the beginning. But it’s wise to end it now.

  I hate these falling tears.

  I hate this pain.

  I hate this ache in my chest.

  Brou taps on the bathroom door as I’m pulling on a T-shirt and pair of jeans I found in my bag. “Everything okay in there, baby?” No. Nothing is okay.

  I clear my voice so I won’t sound like I’ve been crying. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

  I finish dressing and pull my hair into a knot before stuffing my things into my bag. Shit. I have to get all those clothes hanging in his closet.

  I open the bathroom door and come face to face with Brou, his eyes scanning my clothing. His mouth opens and he shakes his head. I see torment. It possibly mirrors mine. “No, no, no. Wren, you’re not doing this.”

  He catches my arm but I pull it from his grasp. “I am.”

  “Please don’t.”

  I place my bag on the bed and go into the closet to fetch my clothes. “I won’t try to drive back to Savannah tonight since it’s so late. I’ll stay at Ollie’s until morning.”

  He stands at the closet doorway as I pull clothing from hangers. “Please don’t leave me, Wren. I love you.”

  “Not enough.”

>   He blocks me from leaving the closet. “Don’t say that.”

  “Love is about give and take. Meeting halfway in the middle. If I come here, your life stays the same while everything in mine changes. I was content with that as long as you were willing to consider thinking about the two things I want. No promises. No guarantees. I only asked you to think about them but you won’t even do that. I can’t be with someone unwilling to compromise.”

  “I’m sorry, Wren. You picked the two things in my life where a middle ground doesn’t exist.”

  “I’m sorry too because it’s a deal breaker for me.” I step around him and place my clothing in my bag. This is it. There’s nothing left to say unless he changes his mind.

  Brou comes closer and pulls me into his arms, pressing his forehead to mine. “You have no idea how badly I want to give you everything your heart desires. But I can't. And it’s killing me. My heart is breaking.”

  “Mine too.” I thought he loved me enough to try harder than this.

  “This shouldn’t be happening. We ought to be in bed making love instead of breaking up.”

  “Something we can agree upon.”

  Brou holds the sides of my face and kisses my forehead. “This isn’t right. I love you and want you to stay.”

  I could have waited until morning but I don’t see the point if he isn’t changing his mind. “I love you too but I have to leave. You’ve given me no choice.”

  “This is it? No more weekends? No more . . . anything?” No. No more Lucas Broussard in my life.

  And that’s more than a damn shame.

  “What’s the point when we’re going nowhere? It’ll only cause me more pain if I don’t end things now.” I can’t carry on knowing it will only keep ripping out my heart.

  “Just because we’re not walking down the aisle doesn’t mean we’re not going anywhere. Lots of couples are happy without being married and having kids.” He hasn’t heard me.

  “But that’s not what I want.” Being with Brou only confirms it more. I want his heart forever, and I want his children.

  “I can’t change your mind?”

  “I can’t change yours?”

  “Then I guess there’s nothing else for me to say.”