A Necessary Sin, Page 21

  “Why? He got to see you get the shit beaten out of you. He probably popped fresh popcorn while he watched the show.” Wow. She’s bitter.

  “He likely did enjoy it since I burst his bubble by informing him I’d never marry his daughter, Westlyn.”

  Bleu makes a confused face—wrinkled brow, narrowed eyes. “But she’s your cousin.”

  “Not by blood. Remember Abram was adopted. The brotherhood would accept it, probably happily. Our union would strengthen the brotherhood. That’s win-win for everyone, except me.”

  “He wants you as a son-in-law so he can whisper in your ear.”

  She gets this completely. “Exactly.”

  “He would be a total nightmare as a father-in-law.”

  “Without doubt,” I agree.

  “I think he finally understood it’s not going to happen.”

  “Good.” Her hand finds mine. “Are you in much pain?”

  Aye. I feel like I’ve been run over by a train but I’ll never admit it. I don’t want her to carry any guilt about my decision. “It’s not too bad.”

  “Liar.”

  “I’ve been called worse.” I laugh, and then grimace because it hurts like a son of a bitch. “Mmm …,” I groan.

  “Okay, Mr. ‘It’s Not Too Bad.’ Tell me how I can make this better.”

  “As much as I dread getting up, I need the toilet and I fear I’ll require your assistance.” She comes around to my side of the bed. “I’m going to be slow.”

  “No worries. I have all the time in the world. I’m a kept woman so I have nowhere to be.”

  “I’m not sure how well kept you’ll be while I’m in this kind of shape.”

  “We’re partners, Breck.” She leans down to kiss the top of my head. “You take care of me and now, I’m going to care for you.”

  She squats down and attaches my blade I wear at home as I sit on the edge of the bed. I then use her for support while walking. “I’ve got it from here.”

  “I don’t trust your legs.”

  I don’t really want her in here with me when I piss for the first time. I’m expecting blood—maybe lots of it considering the abuse my kidneys and bladder took. I’m afraid she’ll freak out. “Come on, Bonny Bleu. You won’t even take a piss without closing the door.”

  “I shut the door because I’m a lady and I prefer you didn’t know I have bodily functions. You, on the other hand, use the toilet in front of me all the time. You’re not shy so there’s no need to start now.”

  “Don’t fight me on this.”

  She sighs and leaves, shutting the door behind her.

  I finish using the toilet and I’m glad she wasn’t with me. It was a lot of blood—enough I should probably tell Jamie. I’m not sure that’s normal even for what I went through. “All done.”

  She helps me back to bed and removes my prosthesis. “Can I get you something to eat?”

  I was hit in the gut too many times to have much of an appetite. “Maybe something to drink. A Johnnie Walker.”

  “You’ve mixed enough whisky with narcotics. I’ll get you tea instead.”

  I smile at her retreating figure. She’s going to be a total pain in my ass while I recover. And I love it.

  * * *

  It’s been a week since endurance. I’m much better, thanks to Bleu’s excellent nursing, so it’s time for her initiation into The Fellowship. The ceremony is taking place at my parents’ country estate outside of Edinburgh. My mum has gone all out, making it a formal affair. It’s the complete opposite of the usual meeting in the conference room with a few witnesses, followed by lots of whisky at Duncan’s.

  Mum’s plans for Bleu’s inception aren’t routine but they’re fitting. Neither Bleu nor our relationship are typical. Her acceptance into our circle is the first of its kind; therefore, her commencement should be as well.

  I stand outside the bathroom door and check my watch. “Bonny, are you almost ready? If we leave right now, we’ll still be five minutes late.”

  “Just a few more minutes.” Right. She said that ten minutes ago when we should have been leaving.

  Fifteen minutes later she comes out of the bathroom smoothing the front of her clothing. “I’m not sure about the dress. What do you think?”

  It’s sexy—black, fitted, and short. A combination that can never go wrong on my bonny lass. Her hair is pinned away from her face on each side and cascades down her back. Suddenly every minute she spent getting ready, including those that will cause us to be late, becomes worth it. She’s breathtaking.

  “I’ve never seen you look more lovely.” No one will look at her and wonder why I was willing to go through hell and back.

  “Good. Then I’m ready to go.”

  “Not yet.” I take out the box I’ve been hiding in my jacket pocket. “I have something for you to wear.”

  I flip the top so she may see the Celtic knot pendant I had made for her. “Oh, Breck. It’s beautiful.” She takes a longer look and I wait for her to make the connection. “Is that what I think it is?” I smile and she knows the answer. “It matches your tattoo.”

  “I could’ve chosen something more feminine—or romantic—but you seemed to really like my Celtic shield. And I liked the idea of us wearing matching ones, even though mine is ink and yours is platinum.”

  “I love it.” She turns and pulls her hair from her neck. “Will you?”

  “Aye.”

  I close the clasp.

  She frees her hair and goes to the mirror to take a look. She touches the pendant hanging in the dip of her throat. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

  * * *

  Mum steals Bleu from my side within minutes of our arrival. This is about so much more than a Fellowship ceremony for my mother. She’s delighted to introduce Bleu as my lass. She too has become quite taken with her. And that makes me happy.

  We enjoy drinks and hors d’oeuvres before my father calls everyone out into the garden area. A large tent protects tables covered in white cloths and adorned with lit candles and huge floral arrangements. It looks more like a wedding reception than an initiate ceremony.

  “We gather here tonight to receive Bleu into The Fellowship as one of our own. Come forward, Sinclair and Bleu.” We join my father on the portable wooden dance floor next to a tall table in the center. It’s garnished to match the larger tables throughout with one exception—a dagger.

  I purposely didn’t tell Bleu about this part. “Liam Sinclair Breckenridge, do you accept responsibility for Bleu MacAllister?”

  “I do.”

  “Take the dagger.” I lift it as my father instructs. Without any warning, I grasp Bleu’s hand and drag the blade across the center of her palm. She gasps, either in pain or surprise. I’m not sure which. I pierce my own and lace our fingers together so we’re palm to palm. Blood runs the length of our forearms, collecting at our elbows.

  “Will you have her as your novice and guide her in the ways of the brotherhood?”

  “Aye.” I squeeze her hand, my eyes locked on hers. “I will have her.”

  “Repeat after me, Bleu.”

  My father states The Fellowship decree. It’s something I’ve heard a million times in my life but it’s been adjusted to fit these new circumstances.

  I only listen to Bleu’s voice repeating after my father. “I will be loyal and never betray any of the secrets of The Fellowship. I will never violate the family of another member. I will allow my sisters to guide me in my role. My blood is Sinclair’s blood, as his is now mine. From this day forward, we are one family known as The Fellowship. This I solemnly swear.”

  It’s done. Bleu is mine and one of us. I can finally display my affection for her without concern. The next step will be telling everyone I’ve claimed her. But what I really want right now is to possess her.

  Everyone will want to use this time to get acquainted with Bleu, but they’ll have to wait. Her declaration is a huge turn-on so I need to get inside her—five minutes ago.

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nbsp; I take her hand and tug. “Come.”

  “Where are you taking me?”

  “Mum had the guest house redecorated after she went home goods shopping with you. It’s quite lovely. You need a tour since you inspired it.”

  “My, my. You’re very passionate about home decor tonight.” She giggles.

  “I’m passionate about something but it doesn’t have a thing to do with new linens.”

  “Is the initiate ceremony always that … hot?”

  I completely agree; it was sexy as hell. “Never. It’s always two men with a few witnesses in the conference room. The older member accepts responsibility for guiding the new one.”

  Mum comes out of nowhere and blocks our way. “Where do ye think yer taking her?”

  “Umm …”

  “Aye, that’s what I thought ye would say, but ye can turn yerself back around. Dinner is being served and the guest of honor cannae go missing for a shag in the guest house.” Cock-blocked by my own mum.

  We regretfully return to our table and take our place next to my parents for our catered dinner. We’re two courses in when I put my hand on Bleu’s thigh beneath the table. I slowly glide it in an upward motion. “I’m not craving leg of lamb. I want these legs with a side of something very special.”

  “You are so bad.” She giggles and pushes my hand away. “You’ll get everything you want—later.”

  I notice her pushing food around her plate but not eating. “Have you found more Scottish food you don’t care for?”

  “No. It’s not that.” She scrunches her nose. “It’s the medication to treat the ovarian stuff. I’m still having side effects—GI symptoms.”

  “Maybe you should see a physician here.”

  “My doctor told me this might happen so it comes as no surprise.” She shrugs if off. “I’ll consider making an appointment if things don’t improve.”

  When dinner is finished, a band launches into its first set and everyone moves to the makeshift dance floor in the center of Mum’s well-kept garden. Of course, I get first dance with the guest of honor. “Is this how every new member is welcomed?”

  “Only you.”

  She’s smiling. “I feel very special.”

  “You should—because you are.” I kiss her forehead. I want to tell her I love her but, again, this isn’t the right time. It shouldn’t happen in front of the entire brotherhood.

  “There are a lot of people here. Are they all Fellowship?” she asks.

  “Mostly. If they aren’t in the brotherhood, they’re comrades. They were invited because it’s necessary they know you.”

  “I’ll never remember all these people.”

  “You will in time.” I say it as though she’ll be around forever but we both know that isn’t the case. That’ll be a whole new problem to deal with when the time comes. I don’t wish to think about it right now. I’m too happy.

  The song ends and I’m forced to give up my lass so she may dance and mingle among her new family, leaving my dance card open. Westlyn gets up from her chair and walks in my direction so I grab the closest lass I can find.

  “Is this your way of asking me to dance?” Lorna says.

  “This is my way of telling you we are.”

  “Then I guess we’re dancing.” We sway to the music as my eyes search the crowd for Bleu. I’m not sure I’ll ever stop being uneasy when she’s out of my sight. “You’ve surprised me—and every other member of the brotherhood.”

  “How so?”

  “You took a huge leap for Bleu,” Lorna says.

  “Aye.”

  “It’s nice to know you aren’t all heartless.”

  Is she referring to Leith? “Bleu told me about your feelings for Leith.”

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “I’m talking about you being in love with him.”

  This time she doesn’t deny it. “He doesn’t know I exist except to put me on the work schedule.”

  He used to know she existed because he got into her knickers often. We all did. But I had no idea I wasn’t the only one no longer banging her. “You don’t shag anymore?”

  She looks at the floor, shaking her head. “Not since he walked in on me and you almost two years ago. Things became really weird between us after that.”

  I knew Leith saw us but he never mentioned it. And I never gave it another thought since all three of us were having fun with her.

  “We have a working relationship. That’s it—unless he’s been on the whisky. He loosens up around me a little then.”

  How strange. “Should I talk to him?”

  “No. He’s clearly disgusted by me, so I don’t want him to know how I feel.”

  “But he may feel the same.”

  “He doesn’t. Trust me. He knows he could have me anytime he wants but chooses not to.”

  Bleu has made me a little more romantic, so I feel like passing along some advice to Lorna. “I’m going to tell you something about men in general. We’re selfish, possessive bastards when it comes to our women. We don’t want other men having them. If you want Leith, don’t sleep around.”

  “I haven’t since that day.”

  “You haven’t had sex with anyone in almost two years?”

  She shakes her head. “The look on his face when he saw us—it haunts me. I’m not sure I can ever be with anyone else again.”

  Is Lorna who Leith was talking about when we were in the ring together? He said I always took everything he wanted. At the time, I had no idea what he was talking about, but now I may.

  The song ends. “I’m sorry.” I’m not sure what I’m apologizing for. “Let me know if you decide you’d like me to talk to him.”

  She looks like she may cry. “That’ll never happen, but thanks for the offer.”

  I dance with numerous Fellowship daughters, some behaving as though they’re in mourning. I suppose they could feel as though the dream of marrying the future Fellowship leader is dead. But it’s the role they’re in love with, not me.

  I come face to face with Westlyn so I’m forced to dance with her. To avoid her would make the situation more awkward. I take her in my arms the way I have hundreds of times but this dance is different. She was hoping to be my wife, and I’ve rejected her.

  “Are you enjoying the party?” I call it that instead of what it really is. I don’t wish to make her feel bad. She’s my cousin. We grew up together so I love her. I’d never want to hurt her.

  “Everything is beautiful. Aunt Isobel went all out.”

  “She did. Exceedingly so, I’m afraid.”

  “She should have. It isn’t every day the future leader of The Fellowship volunteers himself to be beaten in place of the woman he loves so she can become part of his world.”

  “I’m sorry for how this played out.” I’m apologizing again for something I don’t understand. “I had no idea how you felt.”

  She looks confused. “How I felt about what?”

  “You were planning to be my wife.”

  “God, no, Sin. I could never marry you. My father is the one who planned on me being your wife. Not me.” She leans back to get a better look at my face. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me tonight?”

  “The very reason.”

  “No. Dad came up with that. I’m not at all interested in climbing the chain of command. That’s all him. I’d probably leave The Fellowship if I had a choice.”

  “God, I couldn’t be more relieved.” I adore Westlyn. She grew up tagging along behind me, Jamie, and Leith, so this misunderstanding has been incredibly unsettling for me.

  “I’m happy to have that cleared up.”

  “Me too,” I agree.

  “I’m very much looking forward to becoming friends with Bleu. I’ve never been allowed to socialize with anyone not from within the brotherhood.”

  “She’ll be very happy about that. I’m afraid she’s been here for months and has no friends—except Mum. I’m sure she’d like some her own age.”
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  “I’d love for you to introduce us later.”

  “Absolutely.”

  “I have a confession,” West says.

  “Aye?”

  “I don’t plan on marrying a man from The Fellowship.”

  Oh, shite. “You must know your father will never allow you to take a husband from outside the brotherhood.”

  “I don’t really care what Dad has to say about it.”

  Are my actions responsible for her decision? “When did you decide this?”

  “Years ago. It has nothing to do with you and Bleu.”

  Abram will never see it that way. Not only have I rejected his daughter as my wife, he’ll now blame me for putting this idea into her head. “Do us both a favor and wait a while before you drop this bomb.”

  “No worries. I have no prospects at the moment. No need to stir trouble yet.”

  Aye. I have enough problems as it is.

  Abram isn’t finished with me and Bleu. I’m certain of that. All I can do is lie in wait, bracing for his next move. Because it’s coming.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Bleu MacAllister

  It’s official. I’m a Fellowship member, going on two weeks now. I’m completely and utterly in love with its future leader. I want to be with him forever. Undeniably, this isn’t ideal. It’s stupid and reckless but it’s what I’ve chosen because I refuse to live without him.

  And Harry can never know. He’d die of a coronary before the cancer had a chance to take him.

  I’m undecided about my plans for Thane. I only know one thing: I still plan to kill him. But it won’t be soon. I’m not ready to force Sin into his leadership role.

  Clearly, my original plan has gone to shit. But … shit happens.

  I have a dying father four thousand miles away and I’ll need to return home to him soon. No exceptions. I spoke to Ellison yesterday and she tells me Harry is declining. It’s expected, but I need to introduce the idea of going back to the US for a little while. And I know exactly how I’ll do it.

  Sin is working in his office. I stand in the doorway and take a moment to admire how handsome he is before disturbing him. He’s still wearing his clothes from work, minus the jacket and tie. He’s rolled the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows and is wearing his reading glasses. Mmm … I was right. He’s hotter than a freshly fucked fox in a forest fire.