Freudian Slip, Page 4

simply was not a humanbeing.

  This room, no doubt, was an illusion, and so was Mr. Primus'santhropomorphic appearance....

  Herman felt like a surgeon trying to operate blindfolded while wearinga catcher's mitt on each hand. But he kept trying; he was gettingresults, though whether or not they meant anything, he was unable toguess.

  On the Rorschach they had done a little better, at least in volume ofresponse. "That looks like a cliff," Primus would say eagerly. "Thatlooks like a--piece of sandstone. This part looks like two volcanoesand a cave." Of course, Herman realized, the poor old gentleman wasonly trying to please him. He had no more idea than a goldfish what avolcano or a rock looked like, but he wanted desperately to help.

  Even so, it was possible to score the results. According to Herman'sinterpretation, Primus was a case of arrested infantile sexualism,with traces of conversion hysteria and a strong Oedipus complex.Herman entered the protocol solemnly in his notes and kept going.

  Next came free association, and, after that, recounting of dreams.Feeling that he might as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb, Hermancarefully explained to Primus what "sleep" and "dreams" were.

  Primus had promised to do his best; he had been lying there now,without moving, for--how long? Startled, Herman looked at his watch.It had stopped.

  Scoring the Rorschach alone, Herman realized suddenly, should havetaken him nearly a full day, even considering the fact that he hadn'teaten anything, or taken time out to rest, or--Herman bewilderedlyfelt his jaw. There was only the slightest stubble. He didn't feelhungry or tired, or cramped from sitting....

  "Secundus!" he called.

  A door opened in the wall to his right, and Secundus stepped through.The door disappeared.

  "Yes, Dr. Raye? Is anything wrong?"

  "How long have I been here?"

  Secundus' right-hand head looked embarrassed. "Well, Doctor, withoutbringing in the difficult questions of absolute versus relativeduration, and the definition of an arbitrary position--"

  "Don't stall. How long have I been here in my own subjective time?"

  "Well, I was about to say, without being unnecessarily inclusive, thequestion is still very difficult. However, bearing in mind that theanswer is only a rough approximation--about one hundred hours."

  Herman rubbed his chin. "I don't like your tampering with me," he saidslowly. "You've speeded me up--is that it? And at the same timeinhibited my fatigue reactions, and God knows what else, so that Ididn't even notice I'd been working longer than I normally could untiljust now?"

  Secundus looked distressed. "I'm afraid I have made rather a botch ofit, Dr. Raye. I should not have allowed you to notice at all, but itis growing increasingly difficult to restrain your fellow-creatures totheir ordinary routines. My attention strayed, I am sorry to say." Heglanced at the recumbent form of Primus. "My word! What is Mr. Primusdoing, Dr. Raye?"

  "Sleeping," Herman answered curtly.

  "Remarkable! I hope he does not make a habit of it. Will he awakensoon, do you think, Doctor?"

  "I have no idea," said Herman helplessly; but at that moment Primusstirred, opened his eyes, and sat up with his usual vague, kindlysmile.

  "Did you dream?" Herman asked him.

  Primus blinked slowly. "Yes. Yes, I did," he said in his profoundlyheavy voice.

  "Tell me all you can remember about it."

  "Well," said Primus, sinking back onto the couch, "I dreamed I was ina room with a large bed. It had heavy wooden posts and a big bolster.I wanted to lie down and rest in the bed, but the bolster made meuncomfortable. It was too dark to see, to rearrange the bed, so Itried to light a candle, but the matches kept going out...."

  Herman took it all down, word for word, with growing excitement andgrowing dismay. The dream was too good. It might have come out of Dr.Freud's original case histories. When Primus had finished, Hermansearched back through his notes. Did Primus _know_ what a bed was, orwhat a bolster was, or a candle? How much had Herman told him?

  "Bed" was there, of course. Primus: "What are 'dreams?'" Herman:"Well, when a human being goes to bed, and sleeps...." "Bolster" wasthere, too, but not in the same sense. Herman: "To bolster itsargument, the unconscious--what we call the id--frequently alters theperson's likes and dislikes on what seem to be petty and commonplacesubjects...." And "candle?" Herman: "I want you to understand that Idon't know all about this subject myself, Mr. Primus. Nobody does; ourknowledge is just a candle in the darkness...."

  Herman gave up. He glanced at Secundus, who was watching himexpectantly. "May I talk to you privately?"

  "Of course." Secundus nodded to Primus, who stood up awkwardly andthen vanished with a _pop_. Secundus tut-tutted regretfully.

  Herman took a firm grip on himself. "Look," he said, "the data I havenow suggest that Primus had some traumatic experience in his infancywhich arrested his development in various ways and also strengthenedhis Oedipus complex--that is, intensified his feelings of fear, hatredand rivalry toward his father. Now, that may sound to you as if we'remaking some progress. I would feel that way myself--if I had theslightest reason for believing that Primus ever had a father."

  Secundus started to speak; but Herman cut him off. "Wait, let mefinish. I can go ahead on that basis, but as far as I'm concerned Imight just as well be counting the angels on the head of a pin. You'vegot to give me more information, Secundus. I want to know who you are,and who Primus is, and whether there's any other being with whomPrimus could possibly have a filial relationship. And if you can'ttell me all that without giving me the Secret of the Universe, thenyou'd better give it to me whether it's good for me or not. I can'twork in the dark."

  Secundus pursed his lips. "There is justice in what you say, Doctor.Very well, I shall be entirely frank with you--in so far as it ispossible for me to do so of course. Let's see, where can I begin?"

  "First question," retorted Herman. "Who are you?"

  "We are--" Secundus thought a moment, then spread his hands with ahelpless smile. "There are no words, Doctor. To put the case innegatives, we are not evolved organisms, we are not mortal, we arenot, speaking in the usual sense, alive, although, of course--I hopeyou will not be offended--neither are you."

  Herman's brow wrinkled. "Are you _real_?" he demanded finally.

  Secundus looked embarrassed. "You have found me out, Dr. Raye. Iendeavored to give you that impression--through vanity, I am ashamedto say--but, unhappily, it is not true. I, too, belong to the realm ofnoumena."

  "Then, blast it all, what _is_ real? This planet isn't. You're not.What's it all for?" He paused a moment reflectively. "We're getting onto my second question, about Primus's attitude toward his 'father.'Perhaps I should have asked just now, '_Who_ is real?' Who remembersyou, Secundus?"

  "This question, unfortunately, is the one I cannot answer withcomplete frankness, Doctor. I assure you that it is not because I donot wish to; I have no option in the matter. I can tell you only thatthere is a Person of whom it might be said that He stands in theparental relationship to Primus, to me, and all the rest of ourorder."

  "God?" Herman inquired. "Jahweh? Allah?"

  "Please, no names, Doctor." Secundus looked apprehensive.

  "Then, damn it, tell me the rest!" Herman realized vaguely that he wassoothing his own hurt vanity at Secundus's expense, but he wasenjoying himself too much to stop. "You're afraid of something; that'sbeen obvious right along. And there must be a time limit on it, or youwouldn't be rushing me. Why? Are you afraid that if this unnamablePerson finds out you've botched your job, He'll wipe you out ofexistence and start over with a new bunch?"

  A cold wind blew down Herman's back. "Not us alone, Dr. Raye," saidSecundus gravely. "If the Inspector discovers this blunder--and thetime is coming soon when He must--no corrections will be attempted.When a mistake occurs, it is--painted out."

  "Oh," said Herman after a moment. He sat down again, weakly. "How longhave we got?"

  "Approximately one and a quarter days have gone by at the Earth'snormal rate
since Primus lost his memory," Secundus said. "I have notbeen able to 'speed you up,' as you termed it, by more than atwenty-to-one ratio. The deadline will have arrived, by mycalculation, in fifteen minutes of normal time, or five hours at yourpresent accelerated rate."

  Primus stepped into the room, crossed to the couch and lay downplacidly. Secundus turned to go, then paused.

  "As for your final question, Doctor--you might think of the