Almost Human



  Almost Human

  by Destiny Howell

  Copyright 2021 Destiny Howell

  All Rights Reserved

  Cover Design by Sarah Easley

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, trademarked products, events, and locations are fictitious or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual events or persons, living or dead, are entirely coincidental.

  This free ebook may be copied, distributed, reposted, reprinted and shared, provided it appears in its entirety without alteration, and the reader is not charged to access it.

  Contents


  1. I Get A Surprise With My Pizza

  2. Running For Your Life Builds Character

  3. I See Way Too Much

  4. The Giant Wolf At The End Of This Chapter

  5. Darth, You Can Stop Drooling Now, Seriously

  6. Guys Are Dogs

  7. This Is Wrong On So Many Different Levels

  8. I Get To Meet My Staler

  9. This Needs To Stop Happening

  10. Rachel The Dogcatcher

  11. Don't Worry Dad. I'm Totally Fine.

  12. History, History, History: History Repeats Itself

  13. Debating With A Werewolf

  14. I Get An Upgrade

  15. Taunting Werewolves And Other Extremely Stupid Sports

  16. Just When I Think I've Got It Figured Out

  17. Debating: Round Two

  18. We Have Some ‘splaining To Do

  Extras

  1. I Get A Surprise With My Pizza


  All I wanted to do was order pizza. Just one stupid carnivore special from Pizza Safari. Instead, I got my reality shattered and almost killed multiple times.

  Not exactly the weekend I was counting on.

  I was watching my brothers while my dad was out. Well, actually, my brother, Calvin, and his best friend, Darth. Darth’s real name is David, by the way. I just gave him that nickname because of his former Star Wars obsession. That passed but the name stuck. He also isn’t my brother, but he might as well be. He’s at our house all the time and he annoys me just as much as Calvin does. Not to say that I don’t like them. They just have some serious issues. Like, for instance, Calvin is super hyper. He runs up and down all the time like he’s been chugging Monster all day. That would be fine once in a while but he never turns it off.

  Ever.

  Darth is calmer but his problem is the fact that he feels the need to unload every single scrap of useless information he hears on us. Every time I see him it’s “Did you know this? Did you know that?” Blah, blah, blah. I don’t care. Still, for nine year olds, they’re all right.

  Anyway, I was watching them because my Dad was working late and Darth was staying over so, as the oldest at fourteen, the responsibility went to me. They were in the living room watching Finding Nemo and, originally, so was I but, after about the thirty-fifth time watching it, it starts to lose its charm. I was in my room, on my laptop, when I heard a voice coming from the living room.

  “Diana. Did you know that, on average, a nine year old boy needs two-thousand calories a day?”

  That’s Darth-speak for “Feed me.” The fridge was mostly empty and I can’t cook to save my life so that meant we were ordering out.

  “What do you guys want?”

  “Pizza!” Calvin and Darth answered in unison.

  I’d actually already started dialing already but I knew they would have revolted if I hadn’t given them a choice.

  Pizza Safari is the best pizza place on the planet. Their pizza is excellent for one. The place is small, so I know everyone who works there on a first name basis. Best of all, they’re only about ten minutes away which is great because my dad can’t cook and my mom—isn’t in a position to be able to cook. Let’s just leave it at that.

  I ordered the carnivore special (two medium all meat pizzas, cheese sticks, and a large soda) and settled back into the living room to wait for the food.

  Ten minutes. Twenty minutes. Thirty minutes. Forty minutes. Forty Five minutes.

  That’s how long we waited for our pizza. Four. Five. That was the longest it had ever taken for pizza to get to us and I’m counting the time the delivery truck was broken so they had to bike to our house during one of the hottest days of the summer.

  I went to the door, a little annoyed, to get our pizzas and immediately realized what the problem was.

  “You’re not Finn.”

  Finn is the son of the owner of Pizza Safari and the usual delivery boy. He’s a couple of years older than me, dark, and tall. The guy at the door was definitely not Finn.

  He had neatly cut brown hair, brown eyes, and light skin. He was also older than Finn, mid twenties at least. Probably older. Having a new delivery guy would explain why our pizza took so long.

  “No,” not-Finn said. “I’m filling in. Uh, that’ll be $15.25.”

  While I was digging around in my pocket for the money, I noticed something. He was looking at me. Really staring, and not in a “Hurry up and give me my money” kind of way. In a “Starting to creep me out” sort of way.

  “Hey, what are you looking at?”

  “Uh—oh, what?” He sputtered for a few seconds trying to cover for himself but I squinted at him until he gave up. “I was just, uh, you look a lot like your Mom.”

  I suppose I could have taken that as a compliment. My mom and I looked a little bit alike. I inherited her bright red hair and muddy green eyes. The difference is, my mom managed to cross through her awkward teenage years like a champ while I’m still waiting for the wheel to stop spinning on that one.

  But the first thing I actually said was, “How do you know my Mom?”

  He took a deep breath like he was about to start telling a really long story, “When I was about seven—”

  Slam! And suddenly he was on the floor. Out of nowhere, some animal had jumped onto his back, knocked him unconscious, and started ripping into him. It looked like some sort of dog, almost like a Husky, but it was the biggest husky I had ever seen. It was almost up to my chest, packed with muscle, and, to make things worse, armed with sharp claws and teeth.

  Looking back, I probably should have done something to try to help. I mean, he was unconscious and there was a giant dog on top of him but the fight or flight response is strong and there was no way I was fighting that thing.

  So I ran.

  2. Running For Your Life Builds Character


  A few months ago, Darth told me this story about a lady who drove over her kid by accident then got so hyped up on adrenaline that she lifted the car off of him. He also told me that he got the story off of the internet so I didn’t believe it at all. But now, running out of the house hauling Calvin and Darth with me, I was starting to rethink that.

  “What are you doing?” Calvin yelled, trying to get out of the death grip I had on his wrist.

  “Giant. Killer. Dog.” I panted out without slowing down.

  Ever notice how unnecessary words fail you when you’re running for your life?

  “What do—oh! Man!”

  As if on cue, the dog left the pizza boy and started running towards us.

  “D-did you know that dogs can run—”

  “Not the time Darth!” I snapped.

  I quickly thought through all the places in the house where we could escape to that were dog safe when it came to me.

  “Guys, treehouse!”

  The “treehouse” is more like a tree floor. Dad started building it but it never really came together so it’s basically just the floor and some posts. Darth and Calvin like it better like that because they get to jump out without using the ladder.

  We got out the back door and into the backyard in record time, with the dog at our heels.

  “
Last one up is dog meat!” I yelled. Looking back, I probably could have said something less morbidly accurate. It did help though. The boys scrambled up the tree trunk like the little monkeys they are and I used the ladder.

  The wolf/dog chased us up to the tree then screeched to a halt and sat up like a soldier, which, to think about it, was pretty weird. Darth has a dog and I’ve seen it chase poor unlucky squirrels up trees then claw the tree to shreds and yap up and the squirrel.

  Of course, I didn’t notice at the time.

  “What do we do now?” whispered Calvin.

  “Wait him out I guess. Hold on. I think I have my cell—”

  And that’s when everything went wrong.

  There was a dull thud as a figure dropped from higher up in the tree to the wooden floor. The person was wearing a black ski-mask, so I couldn’t see a face but, from the shape, I could tell it was definitely not a guy.

  “Wh—” I started but before I said get one word out, the woman stepped up and shoved Darth and Calvin straight out of the tree.

  “No!”

  You know how in action movies, when someone’s falling or there’s an explosion the movie suddenly goes into slo-mo and you can see the hero’s eyes bugging out and their mouth widening and stuff? Well, it wasn’t like that at all. One second they were there and the next, they weren’t.

  Not only was I confused, I was infuriated. Sure, Darth and Calvin are annoying but that doesn’t mean I want people throwing them out of freakin’ trees! As instinctively as I ran from the dog, I got a running start and attacked the woman, not stopping to think that she was bigger than me and that I had no fighting skills or weapons until I was already in mid-air.

  She easily knocked me down and held me from behind, strongly enough so that I couldn’t run but not strongly enough so that it hurt.

  “Shh, don’t worry. Take it easy. We’re here to help.”

  “What do you mrph—”

  She put her hand over my mouth.

  “Shh! Diana, we can’t let him hear.”

  “Mrph!” Translation: Who are you and how do you know my name?

  “Calm down, I won’t hurt you. Just trust me for a sec.”

  Even though this woman had ambushed me, pushed Darth and Calvin out of the tree, and now had me in a choke hold there was something about her voice that sounded, I don’t know, sincere. So, trustingly (Read: stupidly), I relaxed.

  “OK, do you have any silver on you?”

  I shook my head; I’m not much for jewelry.

  “Good,” she said. “Oh, and don’t worry about your brothers. Finn has them.”

  Then she let me out of the hold and pushed me out of the tree house.

  I was so shocked I didn’t even have time for a scream. I just kinda’ made this pathetic half yelp on the way down to the ground. Except I didn’t land on the ground. I landed on something furry and warm. I had the sickening feeling that I had just landed myself death my mauling, but that thought was cut short as I felt a sharp pain in my back and blacked out.



  3. I See Way Too Much


  I woke up very disoriented. It was almost like when you wake up in middle of the night in a hotel and you totally freak out because you can’t remember where you are. The only difference was I knew there was no way I was at the Holiday Inn. Actually, I wasn’t exactly sure where I was. I knew it was a bedroom but it wasn’t one I recognized. Even more disturbing, I had no idea where Calvin or Darth were.

  I got up and looked down the hall. No one was there but I could see lights on at the end of the hall. With increasing panic, I snuck down the hall trying to make as little noise as possible. What if they were hurt or being tortured or—

  Playing video games in the living room with the serial shover. I had to blink a few times to make sure I was seeing correctly but that’s what it was. They were in the living room with the lady who had brought us here in the first place playing video games, totally fine. It would have looked like a cozy little family scene to someone who didn’t know better. The woman’s brown hair matched Calvin’s (who takes after my dad, not my mom). In fact, now that had a good look at her, I could see that she was right around the right age to be our mom. She didn’t look like Darth but that’s not surprising since he has black hair, a good chunk of baby fat, and the last name Li. Still, she was as chummy with him as we were.

  I didn’t like it.  

  “You!”

  She jumped a little and turned from the TV to face me.

  “Oh, hi. Uh, wow, I didn’t think you’d be up yet. I know your name but I don’t think you know mine. I’m Rachel.”

  She held out her hand for me to shake but I just looked at her until she put it back down.

  Calvin and Darth saw how angry I looked and scrambled up to stand behind me.

  “Where are we?” I asked flatly.

  “My house, at the edge of the woods. I’m an outdoorsy person.”

  I shuddered a bit on the inside. As a rule, I stayed away from the woods. They hadn’t done our family any favors so far.  Not to mention we were beginning to veer into murder mystery territory starring me and the corpse of the week.

  I didn’t say anything for a while so the woman tried again.

  “Do you want anything to eat or—”

  “Why did you bring us here? Do you want money?”

  “No I—”

  “Are you, I don’t know, trying to get at our parents?”

  “No I’m—”

  “Then what do you want?”

  “To protect you.”

  I laughed, “From who? From the pizza guy? You‘re the one who kidnapped us.”

  She looked pained, “It’s…hard to explain.”

  “Well try.”

  “I will, I promise. I’m just waiting until—” her eyes widened. “Don’t turn around.”

  Which, of course, made us all turn around and then back immediately in shock because walking in through the side door was a specimen of 100 percent pure, undiluted, naked guy.



  4. The Giant Wolf At The End Of This Chapter


  After a whole bunch of dry retching, I realized something. Even though I had turned around as fast as I possibly could have, I had still gotten a glimpse of the guy’s face. He seemed familiar.

  “Who was that?” Darth asked, through his and Calvin’s collective giggle fit.

  “My...uh...apprentice would be the best word I guess. My apprentice Finn.”

  Finn! That was it. I knew she had mentioned his name before but I hadn’t even considered that her Finn and my Finn were the same guy. In fact, I still wasn’t sure. That is, I wasn’t sure until he walked out, now fully clothed in a t-shirt and baggy cargo pants.

  “Hey Di, Calvin, Darth. I didn’t expect you guys here so soon.”

  “You knew about this? Do your parents even know that you‘re here?” I asked incredulously.

  “Oh, Rachel’s cool and my parents know.”

  I was at a loss for words. On the one hand, I still didn’t trust this woman, even though it didn’t look like she had hurt me or the boys for that matter. On the other hand, Finn was there, acting totally calm and I trusted him, more or less.

  Calvin, however was not at a loss for words, “Are you sure you’re not bad guys?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “Because, only bad guys have apprentices. Oh, and wizards. Are you a wizard?”

  “No. But to you want to see a trick?”

  Calvin and Darth both eagerly nodded yes at the same time Rachel shouted, “Finn no!”

  And then he turned into a wolf.


  5. Darth, You Can Stop Drooling Now, Seriously


  A wolf. He turned into a wolf. And just in case you didn’t get that, he turned into a freakin’ wolf! Or exploded is more like it. Brown fur suddenly burst out of nowhere and he at least doubled in bulk. Shreds of torn clothing slowly floated down and hit the floor.

  And, somehow, this still shocked me less than seeing him naked.

  “Well,
at least I know where his clothes went,” I said mildly.

  Then I realized something else, “Hey, you were the dog from before. Right?”           

  He nodded with a goofy doggy grin plastered on his face.

  Calvin and Darth were floored. They were ecstatic. I thought they were going to die front the happiness.

  Rachel was considerably less thrilled, “Great. That’s the second set of shredded clothes this week. Your parents are going to love this.”

  He just started back at her with big brown eyes.

  “Ugh, well I guess that cat’s out of the bag.”

  I thought about saying, “You mean wolf,” but that would have been too easy.

  “You said he’s your apprentice. So, you’re a werewolf trainer?”

  “Not exactly. See, I’m the one who…infected Finn so it’s my responsibility.”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa! You bit him?” I asked, backing up.

  “No! Well, yes but not on purpose.”

  Finn nodded vigorously, then held up a paw and ran down the hall. A few minutes later, he came back in human form.

  “No it’s OK. She’s cool now. She explained this to me,” Finn said, “It wasn’t her fault. It was a full moon and she didn’t have her silver. ”

  “What does that have to do with anything?”

  “Usually when we transform, we get the wolf body and that’s it. On full moons we get the entire package. Body and mind. The silver stops it,” Rachel said.

  “And before you ask why she didn’t have and silver, she did,” Finn cut in, “It got snatched. Not a great decision on that guy’s part. I was unlucky enough to get caught in the crossfire. Like I said, not her fault so, you can stop backing up. She’s not going to bite you.”

  “Are you sure?” Calvin asked, sounding a little disappointed.

  “Positive,” Rachel said, “I don’t think your Dad would like that.”

  “So can we at least see your wolf?”

  “I’m not sure that would be the best idea.”

  Calvin turned on the puppy dog face. Darth got the message and joined in.

  Good luck saying no to that, Lady, I thought.

  She caved, of course. Everyone always does.