My Truth



  My Truth

  By

  Dawn Williams

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this publication may be reproduced

  in any form or by any means,

  including scanning, photocopying, or otherwise

  without the prior written consent

  of the copyright owner.

  © 2016 Dawn Williams

  Table of Contents:

  Advice to My Younger self

  Break Free

  Careful What You Wish For

  Chains

  Countless Ways

  Enemy Lines

  Living With The Enemy

  Exhausted!!!

  First Cut - FGM (Female Genital Mutilation)

  Hang On In There

  Imperfections

  Just Saying…

  Keep Moving

  Know Your Frienemies

  Lessons Learned

  Lifetime Achievement Award

  Mind Matters

  Not This Time

  Power In The Tongue

  Reluctant Goodbye

  Serial Lyricist

  Shuddah - Cuddah - Wuddahs

  When You Look at Me…

  Where I Come From

  Will I know love

  I never said I was a lady

  Helping Hand

  Not In My Day

  Whom Shall I Fear

  Advice to My Younger self

  On this planet called Earth

  you need to grow with self-worth

  it can be added to you

  it can be taken away

  you will make mistakes

  have the strength to be great

  don't live with hate

  but appreciate

  the many wonders

  the many splendours of life

  it can seem full of strife

  so what do you do

  when you have no clue

  of what direction to turn

  and lessons to learn

  when you stumble

  be humble

  accept a hand

  no man is

  an island

  you will always have a choice to make

  be mindful though of what's at stake

  work hard - play harder life can be short

  have integrity…

  keep truth in your heart - from the start

  keep your friends close

  keep your frenemies closer

  rise above negativity

  tell yourself everyday

  “I’m believing in me”

  have sympathy

  use empathy

  with all of mankind

  until you’ve walked a day in their shoes

  you are walking blind

  you won’t agree with everyone

  choices you won’t understand

  sometimes you’ll want

  to shout and scream

  try to live in harmony

  we live in a diverse land

  at least once a day

  have a belly laugh

  it can’t be all doom and gloom

  have a dream that will make you smile

  keep believing it will happen soon

  Break Free

  Who still holds you bondage

  who keeps you in a cage

  who denies you your civil rights

  who will you blame in old age

  Who denies you an education

  who told you you’d never achieve

  who told you you’d never make it

  who told you what to believe

  Who told you you’re a slave

  who told you to ‘play it safe’

  who told you to listen and behave

  who told you to know your place

  Let me tell you something...

  we’re in the 21st century

  many have fought and died for you

  In passing gave you liberty

  Martin Luther king took a bullet for you

  Rosa Parks did not rise from her seat

  Nelson Mandela caged for twenty seven years

  so fight on no surrender no retreat

  Thousands upon thousands of slaves killed

  but their spirits they could not obliterate

  don’t ever give up - believe that you can

  know that one day you will celebrate

  Careful What You Wish For

  Another relationship bites the dust

  there’s plenty more fish in the sea

  arghh how I hate that saying

  who wants a fish for company

  so I join this dating site

  it’s called… ‘Plenty of Fish’

  I set up my personal profile

  hoping I’ll get my wish…

  looking to meet…

  a tall dark handsome man

  I want to be swept off my feet

  would love to feel special be wined and dined

  speaking of food… he must have his own teeth

  well I get talking to this lovely guy

  works for the NHS and loves his mother

  a smile so warm it could melt ice

  oh… and sexy he’s got to be my lover

  we continue to chat for a while longer

  then agree to meet up for a date

  on the day I’m feeling so nervous

  I’m organised and cannot be late

  I’m nearing the designated coffee shop

  my belly is doing somersaults

  I’m trying to recapture his photo

  and remember I found no fault

  OMG… that must be him

  a dark figure in the distance I see

  without my glasses I’m squinting like mad

  wondering what he’ll make of me

  all of a sudden I feel a pat on my back

  my heart is full with glee

  I spin around to see a dark smurf

  looking up… yes looking up at me

  “I’ll treat you to coffee and a sticky bun”

  my heart is filled with dread

  I wonder how he’ll chew that bun

  with only three teeth in his head

  Chains

  He laughs... he laughs

  as I wipe the dripping sauce from my face

  once again the joke’s on me

  he says that I’d laugh too

  if I could just see the state of me

  I’m tired of playing the clown

  wish I could turn this frown upside down

  long-term sentence with no parole

  one day I must break free

  he orders... he orders

  me to go to the local shop

  it will be a whistle at the ready

  except when I exceed my personal best

  they’ll be no banner waiting for me

  list - check

  money – check

  no make-up – check

  long sleeved top – check

  xl slacks – check

  ready… set… go…

  I’m outside - still no escape

  one day I must break free

  love... love

  joy and laughter

  no drama no worries for me

  promised spontaneous trips away

  to bright skies and the glistening sun

  menus with every kind of chocolate delight

  and the sweet reggae music

  so tantalising I would hold

  no fear

  no shame

  no choice

  but to shake what the good Lord gave me!

  I never dreamed I’d be wearing shades on a winter’s day

  bound by the chains of so much deceit

  one day I must break free
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  a friend...a friend

  how I wish I had cherished her then

  I had too much pride and now

  I have fallen

  so deep

  God please send me an angel

  to help me back on my feet

  I will craft a hammer of hope

  smash these chains to smithereens

  I am already strengthened because

  today I will break free

  Countless Ways

  How do I count the ways I love you

  There’s something new to love each day

  To have met a man as wonderful as you

  It must be because I prayed

  I have waited for what seems like forever

  To meet someone so real and true

  You share my heart my mind my soul

  The gift of love is what I have in you

  Your character so becoming

  I am so very proud of you

  You possess a selfless nature

  Asking what more you can do

  You are so loving and attentive

  A broad shoulder to lean on too

  A hug so strong it carries me

  Through times when I feel blue

  The people who mean so much to me

  Are important to you too

  You are respectful and courteous

  Your goodness just shines through

  You are so wise and thoughtful

  You look for the good in all

  I know that you will raise me up

  If ever I should fall

  How do I to count the ways I love you

  There’s something new to love each day

  To have met a man as wonderful as you

  It must be because I prayed

  Enemy Lines

  I didn't choose this way

  it chose me

  I’m in a constant war

  I didn't sign up to fight

  and I’m tired

  I’m no match against these battles

  this dark evil smog

  when nothing better to do

  drags at my Achilles heel

  tussling me to the ground

  enveloping me with its

  amazing hooded overcoat

  made of lead

  Im fighting for breath

  while it just sneers at me

  I’m on hostile ground

  I was already weak

  now I’m too weak to fight

  I’m blinded and can’t

  see a way out

  some might say keep your…

  head up

  stand up

  climb up

  hold on

  I want to

  I should do

  but it's too hard

  each time I try

  the darkness sucks

  me back under

  I’m scared to reach out

  and grab on for dear life

  life...I want a life

  I just don’t want this life

  I’m filled with trepidation

  but what I fear most

  is whilst in my darkness

  I will never again

  see the light

  Living With The Enemy

  I don’t know who you think you are

  oh I heard you Miss Thing

  talkin’ about how you were Soo

  lookin’ forward to the Dance on the 24th

  but you can’t hide from me

  yes I saw you

  gettin’ all designer- dressed up

  applyin’ with care your make up

  arrivin’ at the night club

  and then… you had the nerve to dance

  and...step..and step...

  laughin’ as you and your girlfriends

  kept the pace

  I couldn’t wait to slap that smile

  right off your face...

  Miss Thing did I not warn you

  don’t have too much fun

  why do you make me so angry

  you messed with the wrong one

  now I have to put you back in line

  I’ll enjoy seeing you

  being laid up for maybe... 3 weeks this time

  your body fatigued feeling like lead

  you slumbering for hours

  when awake - still stay in bed

  and here comes the depression...

  well... we all get depressed Miss Thing

  Let this be a warning

  don’t ever fight me

  If you try to walk out

  I will humiliate you

  I will turn your legs to jelly

  you know I can... I’ve done it before

  I have an abundance of dirty tricks up my sleeve

  there’s no getting rid of me

  I will come and go as I like

  I will stay as long as I like

  I will be as tough on you as I like

  Aww...and you looked so pretty that night

  but you do know that no one will ever want you right…

  Not now you’re “Damaged Goods”

  Exhausted!!!

  I wanna be

  Some place

  Where no one

  Can hurt me

  I live in a world

  Full of people

  Diverse people

  Beautiful people

  Family people

  And yet

  It sometimes

  Feels as if

  They’re killing

  Me…

  Slowly

  Sometimes

  I wish

  I could

  Run away

  Keep Running

  Far away

  And become

  Inconspicuous… then…

  For a

  Time I

  Ponder on

  Why I

  Bother to

  To try

  I cry

  Because it

  Hurts like

  Hell to…

  Care…

  And Feel…

  And Love...

  I swear

  To you

  I have

  Tried and

  I

  Have

  Tried

  And

  I

  Am

  All

  Tried

  Out

  First Cut - FGM (Female Genital Mutilation)

  So… who would like to speak?

  Remember there is no judgement here

  I guess… I’ll go

  I remember it was a busy day

  aunties and other ladies

  coming through the door

  the whisperings and strange looks -

  at me

  I remember it well – funny that

  I was only four

  then my mother called me

  to lie on this make shift bed

  then all at once these women pounced on me

  held me down whilst I screamed

  and screamed till I was off my head

  I’m sorry…

  Its ok you’ve been so brave… Anyone else?

  Yeah….I’ll speak

  Same thing happened to me

  my mother- so called

  said she did it for me…

  huh... she got this woman who used

  a razorblade scissors and a piece glass

  to discard the genitalia

  she felt I did not want-

  or didn’t need

  so with no anaesthetic

  my body just

  went into shock

  for days all I did

  was bleed… but hey

  never mind the bruises

  never mind the pain

  from being pinned down

  I was now worthy of a man

  who wore the biggest crown

  this was done for my honour

  this was to be celebrated

  but… it wasn’t good

  my bo
dy had been mutilated

  I was supposed to be pure

  and ready for marriage

  shouldn’t I have looked

  beautiful ‘down there’

  and not like a tiger

  had left me savaged

  I was a freak of nature - disturbed

  left feeling so perturbed

  what… I

  will never understand

  is how my mother could do this to her child

  and all...for the sake of pleasing a man

  I thank you for heartfelt contributions…this is your start to healing…

  Hang On In There

  YOU said… ‘Ask and it will be done

  Have faith

  Lean on me

  I am here and will never forsake you

  I am here whatever your needs’

  Well I have

  ‘asked’ begged and cried out to you

  I have pleaded with you too

  why then have you allowed me

  to continue in my distress

  I’m sorry to sound so abrupt

  believe me I’m trying my best

  I get so sick and tired

  of being sick and tired

  maybe if I could understand

  Is this part of your plan

  Is all this to make me

  a woman of substance

  to harden my resolve

  will I become stronger wiser better

  Is all this for my good

  I don’t know if I can hang on

  to this piece of thread much longer -

  the way a believer would

  I know I could pay you more attention

  at times I feel I’m slipping away

  could I ask that you grab hold of me

  and please remember my name

  I’m trying hard to keep the faith

  don’t let that be my shame

  I know things can’t always go my way

  and there is always someone worse

  I have been blessed in so many ways

  but right now I feel I’m cursed

  I’m not happy with you right now

  for so long I’ve been