My Cousin Rachel, Page 3

  'But you are not going, cousin Rachel,' I told her. 'What is wrong with this house and with me?'

  'Nothing...'

  'Tomorrow, you must begin visiting,' I went on. 'Then our neighbours will visit you. You will have many things to do here.'

  'I don't think I really like that idea,' said my cousin Rachel, standing up. 'It would be better if I gave your neighbours Italian lessons. I am a poor widow and shall need money soon.'

  I laughed. 'Then you must marry or sell your rings!'

  I knew at once that I had been very rude. It was true that my cousin Rachel had nothing. She could not live without money.

  I called the dog and went out into the garden. I felt very stupid and I stayed away from the house until it was dark. As I was walking, I had an idea. Some money must be given to my cousin Rachel. But I would not tell her that it was my idea.

  When I turned back to the house, I saw that the windows of Rachel's bedroom were open.

  'Why are you walking in the dark, Philip?' a soft voice asked. 'Are you worried about anything?'

  'Why, yes,' I answered. I'm afraid you must find me very rude and stupid.'

  'Nonsense, Philip. Go to bed.'

  Something fell at my feet. It was a flower. The window was closed quietly.

  That week, more plants and small trees arrived from Italy. On Thursday morning, I rode over to Pelyn, my godfather's house. My cousin Rachel was in the garden with Tamlyn. She told me that she and the gardeners would be busy until the afternoon.

  I wasted no time and I was in my godfather's study by ten o'clock.

  'My cousin Rachel must have some money,' I said. 'She is talking about giving Italian lessons. That is impossible!'

  Nick Kendall looked pleased.

  'I am glad you want to help Mrs Ashley,' he said. 'The bank can pay some money to her every quarter. How much do you suggest?'

  When I told him, my godfather looked surprised. 'That may be too much, Philip,' he said slowly.

  'Ambrose would have wanted me to be generous,' I said. 'Write me a letter for her, and write a letter to the bank.'

  'You are as impulsive as Ambrose,' Nick Kendall said. But he wrote the letters.

  'I will take the letter to the bank,' I said. 'But I don't want cousin Rachel to know that I have arranged this. Will you send a servant to my house with the letter for her?'

  Nick Kendall agreed.

  As I was leaving, I saw Louise. 'I can't stop,' I said at once. 'I have come on business.'

  Louise looked at me coldly.

  'And how is Mrs Ashley?' she asked.

  'Well and happy,' I answered. 'She is very busy in the garden today.'

  'I am surprised that you are not helping her,' Louise said. I'm sure Mrs Ashley can make you do exactly what she wants.'

  Louise made me feel very angry and I left the house without another word.

  I rode to the bank and gave them the letter. I didn't get home until nearly four o'clock. I did not see my cousin Rachel. I rang the bell for Seecombe. He told me that Mrs Ashley had worked in the gardens until three o'clock. Then she had asked for water for a bath.

  I decided to take a bath too and I asked for an early dinner. Later, I went to my cousin RacheFs sitting-room. I was feeling very happy.

  She was sitting on a stool by the fire. She had washed her hair and she was drying it.

  'Come and sit down,' she said. 'Why are you staring at me? Have you never seen a woman brushing her hair before? Wait here, while I go and change my dress for dinner.'

  My cousin Rachel was in her bedroom when Seecombe came in with the letter from my godfather. I stood up, feeling awkward. There was no sound from the bedroom as my cousin Rachel read the letter. Then suddenly, she came out of the room. She looked very angry.

  'You made Mr Kendall write this letter,' she said. 'Did you think I was asking you for money? I am angry and ashamed.'

  'Ashamed?' I repeated. 'I would be ashamed if Mrs Ambrose Ashley had to give Italian lessons. What would people think of Ambrose? The money is yours, take it.'

  I was angry now. We stood staring at each other. Then my cousin Rachel's eyes filled with tears. She turned, went quickly into her bedroom and shut the door loudly.

  That night, I had dinner alone. Is that how women behaved? Did they always cry when they were angry? Thank God I had no wife! Poor Ambrose! No wonder he had been unhappy. I knew I would never marry now.

  After dinner, I read, and then fell asleep in my chair. When I woke up, it was time to go upstairs to my room.

  On the table by my bed was a note from my cousin Rachel.

  Dear Philip,

  Please forgive me for my rudeness. I have vuritten to Mr Kendall thanking him for his letter. I thank you too.

  Rachel.

  The door to her sitting-room was open. I walked straight through and knocked on the bedroom door. The room was in darkness, but I could see my cousin Rachel in bed.

  'I want to thank you for your note and say goodnight,' I said. Tm sorry I made you angry. I did not want you to cry.'

  'I cried because of what you said about Ambrose,' she said. 'I will take the money, Philip, but after this week, I must go.

  'But I thought you liked it here,' I said. 'You seemed so happy, working in the garden... You have a home here. If Ambrose had made another will, this would have been your home.'

  'Oh God!' she cried. 'Why do you think I carne?'

  I looked down at her. She looked very young, very alone.

  'I don't know why you carne,' I said. 'But I know Ambrose would have wished you to stay, perhaps to plan the gardens.'

  'Very well. I'll stay - for a time,' she said.

  'Then you aren't angry with me any more?'

  'I was never angry with you, Philip, but you are sometimes very stupid. Come closer.'

  As I bent down, she took my face between her hands and kissed me.

  'Now go to bed, like a good boy, and sleep well,' she said.

  I moved to the door like a man in a dream. When I was back in my room, I wrote a short note to Nick Kendall. I told him that my cousin Rachel would take the money. Then I walked down to the hall to put my letter in the post bag. In the morning, Seecombe would arrange for the letters to be delivered.

  There were two letters in the bag. Both had been written by my cousin Rachel. One was addressed to my godfather, Nick Kendall. The other was addressed to Signor Rainaldi, in Florence. I stared at it, before putting it back in the bag.

  Why had my cousin Rachel written to Signor Rainaldi? What did she have to tell him?

  CHAPTER 9 - We Open Ambroses Boxes

  Now it was October, but the weather was fine and my cousin Rachel was able to work in the garden. We also had time to visit the tenants on the estate. They all loved my cousin Rachel. When they were ill, she gave them medicines made from herbs.

  Sometimes in the afternoons, our neighbours came to the house. Sometimes my cousin Rachel went to visit them. I enjoyed listening to her at dinner. My cousin Rachel told me about the people she had seen during the day. She always made me laugh.

  But at the end of the month, the weather changed. Rain fell every day. There was no gardening and no visiting.

  One morning, my cousin Rachel and I were standing at the library window. Outside the rain was falling heavily. Then Seecombe reminded us about Ambrose's boxes. They were still in my room and had never been emptied. We began to open the boxes. The first box we opened was full of Ambrose's clothes. Suddenly my cousin Rachel was crying. Then she was in my arms, her head against my chest.

  'Oh Philip! I'm so sorry,' she said. 'But we both loved him so much.'

  I moved my lips against her hair.

  'Don't worry, Rachel,' I said. Tll do this.'

  It was the first time I had called her by her name. She stopped crying and we continued to unpack the boxes. We decided to give Ambrose's clothes to the tenants on the estate. Then we began to look at the books.

  As I opened a book on gardening, a piece of pap
er fell out. It looked like part of a letter, written by Ambrose.

  She cannot stop spending money, I read. It is like an illness. If this goes on, my dear Philip, she will spend everything. You must tell Kendall in case...

  'What have you there?' my cousin Rachel said suddenly. 'That is Ambrose's writing.'

  'It's nothing,' I said and threw the piece of paper on the fire. We continued our work in silence.

  That same morning, some boxes had arrived for my cousin Rachel from London. New dresses, perhaps. I remembered the words in Ambrose's letter: it is like an illness. She will spend everything.

  After dinner, when we went to the library as usual, the most beautiful blue and gold cloth lay over the chairs.

  'Do you like it, Philip?' my cousin Rachel asked. 'It's Italian. It will make beautiful curtains for your room.'

  'Isn't it very expensive?' I asked.

  'Well, yes, but that isn't important. If you like it, take it - as a present from me.'

  I thought unhappily about the letter, but I could say nothing.

  As we sat by the fire, my cousin Rachel began talking about her life in Italy. She spoke of the time before she had met Ambrose. I was listening with the greatest interest, when she suddenly said, 'What was on that paper you threw in the fire, Philip?'

  'It was from a letter,' I said, 'Ambrose was worried about money - I can't remember exactly.' The worried look went from Rachel's eyes.

  'Was that all?' she said. 'Poor Ambrose. He did not understand life in Italy. He thought I spent too much money. He was very generous until he became ill. Then he changed so much.'

  'How did he change?' I asked.

  'When I wanted money for the house, he became very angry. In the end I had to ask Rainaldi for money to pay the servants. When Ambrose found out, he refused to have Rainaldi in the house.

  'It was a terrible time. I did not want to tell you about it, Philip. Ambrose was so ill. He trusted no one. You wouldn't have known him.'

  'That is all over now,' I said. 'Don't make yourself unhappy. You cannot bring Ambrose back. This is your home now.'

  My cousin Rachel looked into my eyes. 'You are so like him,' she said. 'Sometimes I am afraid. You must not change too.'

  I took her hands in mine.

  'I will never change,' I said. 'And we must remember Ambrose as he used to be. 'This house belongs to all three of us now.'

  'You are very good to me, Philip,' my cousin Rachel said as she moved to the door. 'I hope that one day you will be as happy as I was with Ambrose - at the beginning.'

  She went to bed and I sat alone by the library fire. My terrible jealousy had returned. But now I was jealous of Ambrose. I was jealous because of the love that my cousin Rachel had given him.

  CHAPTER 10 - A Christmas Present

  In the past, I had always disliked the winter. But with my cousin Rachel in the house, things were very different. When I was with my cousin Rachel, I was happy. When she was away from the house, I was bored. Life was dull and uninteresting until she returned.

  Like everyone else, I now thought that my cousin Rachel was beautiful. Whenever she came into a room, she made it a happier, more interesting place.

  In the evenings, we sat together in her small sitting-room. We drank tisana as she and Ambrose had done in Florence. The evenings were the best times. But when I went to my room, I could not sleep. Any day, perhaps, my cousin Rachel would decide to go to London. If she left me, I would feel terribly alone.

  When Ambrose had been at home, he had always given dinner to the tenants on Christmas Eve. This year, I decided to do the same.

  My cousin Rachel was very pleased. At once, she began to make preparations. Packages arrived from London - presents perhaps - she began to plan the Christmas meai.

  One thing worried me. What could I give my cousin Rachel for a present? I thought about it for a long time and at last I had an idea. I remembered the jewels that belonged to my family. They were kept in the bank for safety. In three months' time, on my birthday, they would be mine. But I did not want to wait that long. And I remembered that Nick Kendall had gone to London.

  I went to the bank that day and asked the manager to show me the Ashley jewels.

  They were very beautiful - blue, green and red. But my cousin Rachel always wore black. She could not wear coloured jewels with mourning clothes.

  Then I saw the collar of pearls. How beautiful the white pearls would look on my cousin RachePs neck!

  'Your mother was the last woman to wear this collar,' the manager said. 'All the brides [noivas] of the Ashley family wear it on their wedding-day.'

  I put out my hand and took the collar. 'I will take this with me,' I said.

  The manager looked worried. 'The pearls are not yours until the lst of April,' he said. 'I don't think Mr Kendall would like you to take them away.'

  Tll speak to Mr Kendall,' I said. I put the collar in its box and stood up. I knew the pearls were the right present for my cousin Rachel. I felt very excited.

  Then at last, it was Christmas Eve. Seecombe had brought a tree into the house and had decorated it as usual. Dinner was to start at five. After dinner, everybody would have a present. This year, my cousin Rachel was going to give out the presents with me.

  Before I dressed for dinner, I sent the collar of pearls to her room. With it, was a note: My mother was the last woman to wear this. Now it belongs to you. I want you to wear it tonight and always. Philip.

  When I was ready, I went downstairs and waited for my cousin Rachel. She came in slowly. Her dress was black, but it was one I had not seen before. The collar of pearls was round her neck. I had never seen her look so happy or so beautiful.

  She put her arms around me and then she kissed me. She kissed me not as a cousin, but as a lover. This is what Ambrose died for, I thought. And for this I would happily die too. She gave me her hand and we walked in to dinner.

  At first, I thought this was going to be the happiest evening of my life. I remember the food, the noise and the excitement. My cousin Rachel had bought everyone a small present, carefully chosen. Mine was a gold chain for my keys with our initials, RA.R.A. hanging from it.

  Our plates and glasses were filled, emptied and filled again. Then we gave everyone a present from the tree.

  When dinner was over, I spoke to my godfather, Nick Kendall, for the first time that evening.

  'Good evening, sir, and happy Christmas,' I said. Nick Kendall looked angry and he said nothing. He was staring at the collar of pearls around my cousin's neck.

  Then at last, the tenants had all left. Louise and my cousin Rachel went upstairs. And I found myself alone with my godfather.

  'I have some bad news from the bank,' he said. 'The manager tells me that Mrs Ashley is already several hundred pounds overdrawn [sacadas sem fundos]. I don't understand it. She must be sending money back to Italy.'

  'She is very generous,' I said. 'And there were debts in Florence, I think. You must give Mrs Ashley more money.'

  Nick Kendall looked unhappy. 'There is something else, Philip,' he said. 'You should not have taken that collar of pearls. It is not yours.'

  'It will be mine in three months' time,' I said quickly. 'My cousin Rachel will take good care of it.'

  'I am not so sure,' Nick Kendall said. 'I have been hearing stories about Mrs Ashley and her first husband. They were both well-known for their bad lives. They spent money carelessly.'

  'That can't be true!' I cried.

  'True or not,' my godfather replied. I'm afraid that collar must go back to the bank.'

  'But I gave it to my cousin Rachel as a present. She has a right to wear the collar.'

  'Only if Ambrose had lived,' Nick Kendall said. 'That collar of pearls is worn by the Ashley brides, no one else. If you do not ask Mrs Ashley to give it back, I will.'

  Then suddenly, my cousin Rachel and Louise were in the room.

  'You are quite right, Mr Kendall,' my cousin Rachel said. 'I was very proud to wear the collar and
now I shall give it back.' And she took off the collar and gave it to my godfather.

  'Thank you, Mrs Ashley,' he said. 'And now Louise and I must go. We wish you both a happy Christmas.'

  When they had gone, my cousin Rachel held out her arms. I went up to her.

  I'm so sorry,' I said. 'Everything has gone wrong. My mother wore those pearls on her wedding-day, that is why I wanted you to have them. Don't you understand?'

  'Of course I do, Philip dear,' she said. 'If Ambrose and I had been married here, he would have given them to me on my wedding-day.'

  I said nothing. My cousin Rachel had not understood. I was thinking of another wedding-day, a wedding-day in the future...

  CHAPTER 11 - Rainaldi Again

  The New Year began and my birthday - on 1st April - was three months away. How I wanted to have control of my own money! I was tired of Nick Kendall being my guardian.

  However, I could spend money on the house. I decided to make it beautiful for Rachel. There were many repairs to be done. From January, I had nearly twenty men working for me. The bills for the work were sent to my godfather.

  Rachel and I had many plans for the gardens too. Work had started on a sunken water-garden. We had found the design for the water-garden in one of Rachel's books.

  Because there were so many workmen in the house, we could not have visitors. My cousin Rachel and I stayed quietly at home and I was very happy. I loved to watch Rachel move about the house. I loved to hear her voice. When her hands touched me, my heart beat faster.

  The first days of spring came and the sun shone. Then

  something happened which took all my happiness away again.

  I had kept one of Ambrose's old coats to wear myself. One day, as I was walking in the woods, I felt something in a pocket. It was another letter from Ambrose.

  I was pleased that I was alone. I walked on until I reached the highest place on the estate. Ambrose had always loved to sit there. I sat down and held the letter in my hands. I did not want to open it. I was afraid that Ambrose had written something bad about Rachel. We were so happy together now that I wanted to forget the past. But at last, I opened the letter. It had been written three months before his death, but he had never posted it.

  My cousin Rachel, Ambrose wrote, had been expecting a child, but it had died. The doctors told her that she could never have another child. At first, Rachel was quiet and unhappy. Then she began to spend money carelessly. Ambrose suspected that Rainaldi was in love with her. For these reasons, Ambrose had not signed his new will, in which he left everything to Rachel.