Larger Font   Reset Font Size   Smaller Font  

Pygmy, Page 2

Chuck Palahniuk


  And pig dog brother slap eye water off own face, say, “No, you stupid pygmy…” Say, “That’s a fucking track shoe” Zigzag red and white stripe down cheek, like American flag flutter in wind. Host brother scoop air with hand, say, “Follow me.”

  Next then, pig dog make operative me small parade until where many million shoe for sell area. Shoe on wall shelf. Pile shoe burden many table. Shoe craft from leather like pocketbook remain inside fingers of operative me, glued this agent with colding blood. Shoe craft from fabric like hanging pocket tail of host brother.

  Pig dog inhale dripping of nose blood, gurgle, make straight finger at each shoe, say, “That’s a tennis shoe, you little pygmy.” Make finger at new shoe. “That’s a track shoe.” Make finger at other new shoe, one after other, say, “Bowling shoe…wrestling shoe…basketball shoe… cross-training shoe…volleyball shoe…baseball shoe…walking shoe…football…soccer…” Only all shoe make finger at, every shoe appearance alike. All shoe twin. No different.

  Next then, feet parading around new corner, pig dog discover place many baby animal imprison. Silver cage like wheeled cage shoved by operative Tibor, agent 23, only trap for baby dog, grouping several baby dog. Next new cage, other breed baby dog. Other cage, baby cat. Wall builded cage bricks of baby cat and dog on top and below, all baby animal cry. Stand on silver wire or nest asleep curls of wood. Other wall, cage of baby rodent, many breed rat or mouse. Same as laboratory. Other wall, glass cage of snake and lizard. Heavy in air animal stink, bubble noise out water bin of fire-colored fish.

  Pig dog brother make finger straight at wall cages, say, “This, pygmy, is what you’d call a fancy restaurant.” Make finger straight at baby dogs and say, “That’s called ‘beef’” Say, “Pick one out, and they kill it and dress it right here. I swear.” Make straight finger at baby cat and say, “That’s pork.” Make finger at rat, lizard, snake, baby rabbit, say, “Chicken…veal…fish…crab …”

  Head of operative me rock own chin up and down to make agreement.

  “Yum-yum,” say host brother, smiling bruise zigzag face, hand rubbing circle around own belly. Say, “Them’s good eating.” Take back hollow pocketbook.

  Next then, feet parading around new corner, pig dog discover wall of bottles inside filled gold liquid, clear bottles. Making eyes sideways, both ways fast, host brother twist open top cap of bottle so expose liquid. Pig dog say, “Hold your hands out, pygmy, open side up.”

  Operative me make hands in front, cupped to ceiling.

  Pig dog pour gold liquid too deep inside hands of this agent. Gold liquid flooding to splash on floor. Host brother twist cap lid closed over bottle, replace on shelf. Say, “Go ahead, pygmy.” Slap both of own hands, flat open on own bruise face smudging blood there. Say, “Like that.” Say, “It’s called ‘aftershave.’”

  Open hands of operative me splash gold liquid on cheeks of this agent. Mimic to rub liquid around face and neck. Gold sting, smell hot poison, reek to make eyes bleed water, medicine stench scald burn skin of operative me.

  “Aftershave,” repeat say pig dog brother, say, “Drives the fine ladies wild.”

  Printed in English letter, word letter black against white label of bottle, English letter spell, “Listerine.”

  This agent, eye of operative me suffering fire pain, say how in America told all ladies glad liberated to always expose many fragrant vaginas. No ever possess maidenhead. Develop hobby of enjoying many frequent abortion. Always hungering to fashion moist lady mouths tight around gentlemen genital.

  Pig dog brother merely rest eye on this agent. Eye no blink.

  Mouth of operative me say, “Is no correct?”

  Host pig dog say, “I wish…” Swinging smudge blood face from side then side, say, “Little pygmy, from your mouth to God’s ear.”

  Inside head of operative me fashion image of host sister. Sister, cat eyeing all happen. Stealth cat image inflate turgid weapon within trouser of this agent.

  Next then, feet parading around new corner, pig dog discover door printed English letter word Men. Displayed there outline picture man, two arm, two leg.

  Pig dog say, “This here’s called a spa.” Make finger straight at door, say, “You go in here, and they got bowls of water set on the floor. The cleanest, freshest water in these United States.” Say, “You only have to kneel down and you can drink all you want.” Pig dog eyes no blink. Mouth no smile. Say, “Go try it. You’ll love the taste.” Host brother hand push “Men” door open to reveal inside walls white tile, floor tile.

  Only one step with foot, operative me cloaked within smell, reek like baby animal restaurant. Stench of too many sulfur-base amino acid. Diet heavy with dead flesh. Cola soda of sodium benzoate combine citric acid inside intestine to mix benzene until trigger cancer. Reek of cancer bowel. Fecal impacted colon stink.

  Nose of operative me solitary within spa room, door swing close behind this agent.

  Several bowl of glazed ceramic hang in row from wall. Metal wall screen several small booth holding water drinking bowl on floor inside each. Rolls paper napkins ready hang from metal wall beside each water bowl, for to wipe mouth. Exact as pig dog teach.

  Next then, door of one small booth swing open fast to, swish-bang, collide white tile wall behind. Metal door boom open and voice say, “Hey, pygmy…” Male voice say, “Yo, little bitch…”

  Clear-yellow hair hanging. Electric-bolt blue eye. Black tunic lettered, “John 3:16.” Blue denim trouser holding pocket of thefted paper money. Clear-yellow bully jerk head, swing eyes from behind yellow hair curtain. Bully say, “You come from one of those dick-mutilation places?” Say, “Whip it out, pygmy.” Say, “Show me what the witch doctor done to you…”

  Flash fire quick instant. Wham-crack. Bone elbows spear-pointed sharp bent to soar, Soaring Eagle Double Strike to left-right temple soft spots of bully forehead. Hard hit, zing-crunch, to hammer through layer of yellow hair. Clear-yellow bully to stun, crumple, knees bent, torso collapse topple to white tile floor.

  Hand of operative me grip back waistband of trouser, luggage bully into metal booth, by waistband handle throw bully face against tile wall to straddle water drinking bowl. Bully blackout asleep. Skeleton bones loose. Head moaning. Knee of operative me bend to plant impact on lower backbone of bully to force back arch, protrude bully anus. Knee bend to stomp foot of this agent down, rip-pow, toe inside back waistband and drop trousers to wrinkle fabric pool around bully ankles. Foot of operative me stamp down inside shorts of clear-yellow bully.

  Face sideways flat clobber into tile wall, bully blue eye flutter, eye cover skins flicker, blink, flicker, come open. Bully mouth biting sideways into tile say, “What the fuck?”

  One hand operative me open down own trouser zipper. One hand operative me fingers fold into pointed snake head, dart strike, zip-bam, Mighty Python Smother, to cram into bully mouth, pushing until knuckles of operative me force teeth too wide apart, no bite able, until fingers cork bully windpipe face skin so tint pink, red, more-dark red.

  Hands of bully scramble claw to remove mouth Python Smother. Bully face full tinting to electric-bolt blue of eye. Face skin blue, eye cover skin flutter, all muscle go tense to starting loose. Starving air, relax. Exposed anus of bully, same smooth of ceramic tile, tinting from pink to blue. Nested in cleavage of pale buttock, blue pucker only remain pinch hard from self-defend.

  Weapon of operative me sprouted, ready. Turgid. Exposed out zipper. Dripping ready. One hand of operative me cork bully windpipe. One hand pin-cupped back of bully neck so plant face against wall tile, bully blood leak out nose, sliding red stripe from nose down white tile wall. American flag, red and white stripes sliding to tile floor. Blue face, nose folded sideways. Seeing stars. Neck hand of operative me make finger straight to dig nail, sharp shovel into pucker pinch blue anus muscle.

  All body of bully suffocated, only still seizure every muscle as straight fingernail drill through pucker and pull sideways to stretch open hole. Pry. Force open, dry, a
ll friction, all peel of tender membrane until dripping head of weapon wedge room in twist of muscle.

  One stroke. Hips of operative me shove full deep, belly deep, ram until bully stand only on foot toes try to escape.

  Bully mouth scream hot saliva around embedded hand of this agent. Screams trapped, shaking so vibrate whole body inside corked hand of operative me. Fingers cupped, fist grabbed full of scream and blue tongue. Curtain yellow hair drip sweat.

  Weapon of this agent, stabbing, hollowing blue hole, scraping friction until full drive deep inside whole long of self. Next then retreating to pop free, dripping. Next again, stab full deep. All time, mouth of operative me flogging with English word bitch. Flogging close into cold blue ear, into curtain of clear-yellow hair swinging, flogging, “Bitch” and “Bitch” and “Bitch.”

  Electric-bolt eyes of bully bleeding water. Blue star of fighting anus leak blood into thin stripes down white legs. Everywhere patriotic. Here so great American nation.

  Dry drag weapon out blistered blue hole. Paint white stripe seed of operative me, spray-painting thick clots sliding down bully legs. One hand of operative me seize back of black tunic fabric, printed “John 3:16,” to clean weapon of blood, wipe stink of brown fecal, white smear of seed. Abandon tunic mixed mess of stench stained. Abandon own seed. Abandon clear-yellow bully, leg spread, mouth gape to gasp air, anus inside peeled out so protrude. Leaking nasty drip.

  Final last gesture, fingers of this agent fish leather pocketbook from out behind pocket of bully trouser. Obtain out entire paper money bills. No only pig dog money, all money, numbers and numbers of money. Drop hollow pocketbook between striped bully legs, splash, into water drinking bowl.

  Gasping voice of bully sob, gargle mucus and saliva, croak so say, “I’m gonna fucking kill you, pygmy.” Sob, cough, sniff and sob. Bully cough blood against tile wall to say, “You hear me, pygmy, you’re already a dead wetback…”

  Mouth of operative me say, quote politic father Karl Marx, quote, “‘History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.’” This agent wash clean own hands. Exit spa to where pig dog, one foot tapping on floor, arms making folded so cross chest, host brother say, “Geez, pygmy…did you fall in?” Remain on face purple electric-bolt stomp pattern. Fabric tail hang between legs.

  Quote, “History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.”

  Ready hand of operative me reach to give, hand across thick layer of paper bills smear stained blood, fecal, seed, sweat, stinking saliva, a fortune typical American cash money.

  Dispatch

  Third

  Begins here third account of operative me, agent number 67, on arrival religion propaganda distribution outlet of city. Outpost community Date . For official record, if become bankrupt old retail distribution centers—labeled supermega, so-enlarged foodstuff market—later reincarnate to become worship shrine. First sell foodstuff, next then same structure sell battered furnitures, next now born as gymnasium club, next broker flea markets, only at final end of life…sell religions.

  Example here, pig dog brother inform, location where former time heads multiple cabbage mounted to build pyramid pile for marketing display, current now location occupy with fake statue plaster dead male, fake torture dead on two crossed stick, fake blood painted red hand and foot. Worship shrine offer haircut parlor, franchise designer ice creams, Internet computers lab. Feature vast black macadam sea of parking automobile.

  Location former chew gum, chocolate snack, salted chips of potato, current now occupy with cylinder white paraffin encase burning string, many tiny single fire. Location former bright-color breakfast objects boasting most taste, most little price, recent best vitamins, current now feature bunches severed genitals of rose plants, vagina and penis of daisy and carnation plants, flaunted color and scent of many inviting plant life sex organs.

  Location former alcohol products provided behind refrigerator glass, only distribute with aged identification, current now instrument of keyboard sounding random notes generated gas forced through bellows, control using hand and foot of venerate living skeleton. Same esteemed madam soon rotting corpse encounter at magic door Wal-Mart.

  Host vast breathing cow father, make small parade to where living corpse seated to control noise keyboard. Host father say, “Mrs. Lilly?” Say, “I’d like to introduce our new foster son.” Say, “We call him ‘Pygmy’”

  As custom, feet of operative me step to nearby. Hand extend to accept hand of acclaimed wrinkle cadaver. Mouth wish pleasant passing to become again useful soil.

  Most respected dying rot mummy rest clouded eye upon this agent. Split red wax of face lips so reveal white prosthetic teeth nested behind, say, “We’ve already met…”

  Next now, this agent charged by advancing male, brandishing with open hand, fingers engaging those of operative me. Man, viper, crushing fingers as coiled around goat for kill and swallow. Shaking arm as dog breaks backbone of rat. Predator male, slaughter arm of this agent, say, “Pleased to meet you, Pygmy.” Say, “I’m Reverend Tony.”

  Mouths of operative me say, “Happy to engage you, crafty stooge of superstition.”

  Mouths of operative me say, “How is your health, puppet of Satan?”

  Worship leader fashion forehead to lift single hair brow arching above eye. Devil Tony preserve smile. Say, “This little young ’un needs to practice his English.”

  Hand of operative me begin compact fingers of worship leader, to grind, bones collapse, skin muscle press so wring of moisture, squeeze as fabric rag soaked in blood. Could be, with pointed knee, sock-block, explode worship leader rib cage. Could be, crash head into reverend head, butt-bang, contusion brain. Instead, merely this agent say, “Meet repeat soon, please, licking viper of evil.”

  Worship leader snatch retreat crushed hand, cradle in other own hand. Crushed hand wrung white, leader say, “If you’ll excuse me, we have a new lamb to welcome into our flock this morning.” Cast eye upon this agent, devil Tony say, “If I’m not mistaken, little Pygmy, our new lamb comes from your own colorful native land…”

  Here worship shrine, all male neck must bind around with knotted banner, silk banner knotted at windpipe so dangle two long strands down chest to waistband trouser. All female must shelter head inside hat cover. Location enter accompany breathing cow father, twitching chicken host mother, pig dog brother, and host cat sister. Make small parade until seated long bench.

  Strategic station, positioned among venomous Christian vipers, seated operative Ling, agent 19; operative Tibor, agent 23; operative Bokara, agent 54; operative Sheena, agent 7. Eyes of all operative, witness, monitor, scrub worship location. Hone sharp fangs. Prepare: Operation Havoc.

  In distant, behind swinging curtain of clear-yellow hair, purple bruise surrounding both eye, nose folded to sleep sideways against one bruise face cheek—clear-yellow bully electric-bolt blue eye rest on operative me. All muscle stiff from hate. Bully mouths parted one end reveal teeth clench behind. Single front tooth, corner chip.

  Remain embed on bully face cheek square grid lines of ceramic tile grout.

  Stealth cat, host sister say, “Poor Trevor.” Sister cast eye on clear-yellow bully, say, “He looks like he was in a car wreck…” During host sister rest eye long away to clear-yellow bully, sister vent all gas out lung, single long breathing, shoulder melt, host sister head wilt to one side, hang slanted, cat mouth make smile, say, “Trevor Stonefield is so dreamy…” Sister hand lift to touch location own heart muscle.

  Clear-yellow bully fire blue eye no blink. Muscle spasm clench both corner bully jaw. Blood tunnels descend from jaw, worming thick under skin, swelled, many branch to vanish behind fence of white blouse collar bound around bully neck with knotted silk banner, narrow banner stripe red then blue. Face of clear-yellow bully fill with blood glow. Mouth edges together pinched white of no blood. Arm hang, no bend, only beneath wrist collars of blouse sleeve fingers fisted, also stony white of no blood.

  Head cover of ca
t sister, embellish with fake petunia genital craft of fabric. Red color, yellow color. Crowning hair, suggest many ready vaginas. Eye of host sister remaining rest upon clear-yellow bully, remain smile, cat sister say, “I wonder what Trevor’s like in bed…”

  Both shoulder of operative me spasm to rise near ear, make shrugged, say, “Bitch anus rough scabbed too narrow around in scar tissue.”

  Immediate, cat sister eye rest upon this agent. Sister eye go round, skin of face smooth open, mouth hang until say, “For your information, he’s straight”

  For official record, dermis of cat sister indicate harboring full many viable human egg for reproduction of future operative. Within cotton bodice, mammary swell to manufacture diet for many future agent. Judging long strand hair, no break, no dry, no louse, cat sister vector no disease. Pelvis function easily to accept seed, then alternate issue constant offspring. Loins needing much seed.

  Weapon of operative me moving turgid within trouser of this agent. Scrotum constrict size. Must saliva of operative me swallow.

  Eye elsewhere location, cat sister say, “Who’s the skank?”

  This agent follow sister eye through religion peoples, beyond clear-yellow bully and fragrant severed genitals of variety plants life. Ignited threads embedded within cylinder white paraffin, to below crossed wood sticks where hang naked fake male painted fake blood on hands, feet.

  Cat sister eye rest below fake torture male.

  Eye of this operative discover that location, standing, mouth tight as fist, eyeing back, operative Magda, agent 36. Electric bolt out Magda brown eye, to attack cat sister.

  Cat sister say, “You want to talk bitches…” Say, “That one looks like she could kill me.”

  In Magda hands already knotted finger ready Cobra One-Strike No-Blood, bam-slam, inflict cat sister instant dead. More fast most eye able look.

  For official record, operative Magda sole state designate reproductive coagent operative me. Forever permanent. Extensive chromosome test establish best premium coagent, assigned from birth, only Magda egg to fertilize. Agent 36 egg apportioned legal property solely operative me copulate. Atop vagina of that operative, noble best duty must lifetime fornicate.