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Pygmy

Chuck Palahniuk


  Within trouser operative me, folded faces Stonefield parentage, bleeding water. Could be grieving family imprisoned, shunned, rejected out community worship shrine. Devil Tony. Finger of this agent smudged black from so prolonged contact ink. Sullied. Still, no able newsprint discard.

  Quote, “It is not truth that matters, but victory.”

  Next then, lips operative Magda hover at aural canal this agent, whisper say target of testing neurotoxin. Announce name, human determined suffer as test subject.

  White rodent to be erased.

  During all everything detail of scene, lips operative me mouth words praising state. Hymn Oklahoma. Teeth and tongue muscle of this agent describe lyrics during issue no sound. Craft shape song words, except no voice. Solely mime involvement. Register opportunity inspect science project offered cat sister. Accept name test subject Magda determined must die. However, face of this agent merely pretend happy participation.

  Dispatch

  Twenty-seventh

  Begins here twenty-seventh account of operative me, agent number 67, repeat attending student mating ritual located darkened sports arena of education facility. Night of today . Subjected onslaught of high-sucrose song lyric, musical corn syrup, repetitive sentiments, timed tempo mimicking quickened intercourse during moments prior to erect penis spewing seed. Alternately, more slower music permit prolonged engagement foreplay whereby pubescent males abrade females utilizing erect phalli.

  For official record, ranked present Madam Sweater Meats, accompanied esteemed Lady Party Pillows. Ranked along opposite edge basketball wood, all female offering on display exposed midriff boasting musculature dimpled umbilical scar. Dark hollow each scar adorned decorative jewel. Secreted there, minute loop crafted of precious metal. Lady delegate Nepal, lady delegate Burundi, brazenly undulate such loins honed of solid muscle, flaunting smooth flanks composed no blemished skin atop much skeletal muscle.

  All female students having before deflected reproductive advances of this agent. On occasion previous student ritual, all refuse for incubate viable offspring operative me. Rejecting, yet scarcely conceal vast wealth clitori and fragrant nipple.

  Amid din clamorous ritual music, obscured dim lighting of basketball arena, approaching now operative Sheena, agent 7, bidding say, “Comrade.” Say, “For best interest Operation Havoc, request engage making ritual American sexual dance.” Sheena extend own hand, grasping clutch of cold iron around wrist of operative me. Sheena compel this agent follow, penetrating among gyrating ritual, during Sheena say, “Simply mount as would typical American female vessel.”

  Positioned within epicenter student mating partners, feet of operative me step tentative to discovering music pace. Groin of operative me thrust in duplicate American males peerage, battering clothed groin of Sheena, during hands of this agent thrash for randomly fill surrounding space.

  So busy occupied, this agent no aware how becoming surrounded among fellow operatives, Mang, Tanek, Bokara. Embittered against this agent following battle of dodged balls. All positioned as clock face encircling this agent, Tibor at one o’clock preparing for execute Bashing Baboon maneuver. Mang assume stance at seven-o’clock position, readied for launching cruel Manatee Murder Maul. Ling at eleven o’clock. Chernok at four o’clock. Tanek postured to initiate brutal Monkey Mash. Fist and elbow of Otto preparing much fatal Pounding Panda.

  Ranked eight o’clock, two o’clock, ten o’clock entirely besieging all side operative me.

  Each fellow operative commence land violent crippling strike attempt upon this agent. All endeavor for impact vicious pounding elbow blast for immediate dispatching life of operative me.

  Entire vision this agent filled slashing of chop hands. Filled deadly swipe of murdering kick feet. Blurred wind of many infinite such deadly assaults. Poking finger. Butting heads. Entire physical limbs of this agent dodging thrown fist, quick speed, thwarting swung foot. Spinning all direction, electric bolt fast, reflex of operative me enlist prior training history so block blow from one o’clock, stop impact from eight o’clock, sidestep Lashing Lion.

  During churned darkness, slashing wind generated so many dangerous assassination, amidst storm perspiration, panting exhales such strenuous exertions, operative Sheena say, “Comrade.” Say, “No shall betray sacred mission of Operation Havoc.”

  From behind cannonball of own clenched fist, operative Oleg say, “Ready self for die, comrade!”

  During same now, American student surrender ritual floor. Student adolescents recede until merely observing melee lashing leg and arm. Flashing repeated moments such almost murder of operative me.

  Next now, female voice say, “What a weird dance…” Voice Madam Chesticles say, “It’s some weird native rain dance they’re doing!”

  Madam Butter Bags say, “Cool!” Commence attempt duplicate fist punching nothing, heel kicking nothing. Every female enrolled flurry such mimicry. Aping all ruthless battle technique. Next then, inflicting own svelte bodies among throng killer operatives. Encroaching nubile student females, jabbing lady elbows so displace murderous agents. In so doing, fertile adolescent females advance upon operative me, encircling this agent until constitute entire wall such desirable flesh, bulwark for separate from all attackers.

  Succulent barrier much thrusting mammary glands shield operative me, swinging lady buttocks thwart further attacks. Insulate, exclude from further aggression fellow operative. Lady females whip with long lengths own head hair, much health hair, dense weight, wicked flogging. Engorged glands pummeling deadly agents into retreat.

  Encapsulated within deep interior, resulting warm sanctuary smooth lady flesh, flashing lips, licking tongues, total best arrayed selection robust genetic material, this agent continue gyrate ensured for moment much safe.

  Dispatch

  Twenty-eighth

  Begins here twenty-eighth account of operative me, agent number 67, on covert mission, foray for visit religion propaganda distribution outlet of city . Purpose test effect neurotoxin . This today no Sabbath. Fatal toxin intended victim test subject .

  Arrive solitary this agent, discover door worship shrine secured sturdy mechanism lock. Standard type dead-bolt lock. Eyes operative me cast sideways one direction, cast second direction so ensure street vacant possible witness. Solely aware this agent chilled movement November wind. Stratus cloud suggest bleak underbelly, black underside ready deposit frozen precipitation. Every all credible witness in attendance education lessons, could be laboring location employment, or entrapped by daylight programming television viewing appliance.

  For official record, teeth operative me masticate own lips this agent so flooded blood glow, swollen lips enticing slight minor edema. Produce succulent seducing child lips no able pedophile to resist. Fingers operative me clamp skin own face cheeks, suffusing radiant blood glow. Effect face innocent child anxious yearning for shed virginity.

  Instant fast quick, hands operative me extract thin stylus out trouser, invade orifice of key so able rape lock. Jab violent tiny hole. Twist, apply pressure interior tight slot. Abuse until lock, bolt tripped. Door no healed in wall. Eyes revisit no possible witness, feet of this agent venture within worship shrine. Lock door so sealed this agent on interior.

  No present rotting alive skeleton corpse Doris Lilly. No present fellow citizens congregation.

  Worship shrine empty of all sound. Full silent. Dim all illumination excepting tainted sunlight tinted red colors, deep blue colors stained window glass. Composing sanctuary perpetual twilight.

  Honeyed reek numerous genital chrysanthemum plant. Vivid hue carnation plant penis and vagina. Drenched pigment window glass. Render every inhale breath rich rainbow-tinted, perfumed odor.

  Cylinders paraffin, burning string extinguished.

  Only sole witness, fake statue plaster dead male, fake torture dead on two crossed stick, fake blood painted red hand and foot.

  Feet operative me make small parade so approach worship altar, water bin wherein Magda attempted
drown Reverend Tony. Devil Tony. At stance below feet plaster male bleeding red paint, this agent flex own legs so crouch. Next now, explode leg muscles, zing-spring, Leaping Lemur, swipe hand for grasp plaster feet.

  For official record, no successful. Repeat make Leaping Lemur.

  No successful reach statue mounted so high on wall.

  Bouncing within trouser, glass vial deadly neurotoxin.

  Could be this agent introduce toxin to water bin, assassinate future all initiated by devil Tony. Could be taint book scriptures, Holy Bible, for exterminate all reader. Possible poison shared chalice, lip of goblet utilized total congregants during wine ritual, soil so all ingest noxious toxin.

  Heinous acts. Earn this agent horror future trauma cancer, aircraft accident already fated. Craft deserving this agent suffer such torture and murder premeditated by top deity.

  Recite in secret, this agent quote magnificent statesman, best top bold magistrate Joseph Stalin, say, “A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.”

  Legs compressed, this agent attempt additional Leaping Lemur. Hands grasp plaster statue toes, grasp plaster spike hammered through foot. Arm muscle operative me lift self, climb statue where mounted most height shrine wall. Naked torture male thick layered much dust. This agent smudged, suffocated such dense dust during scale enormous plaster figure. Each plaster thigh the equivalent caliber 914-millimeter “Little David,” siege mortar of United State artillery. Plaster statue arm matched caliber 800-millimeter “Schwerer Gustav,” siege mortar Nazi Germany.

  Shinny up same as climb main trunk, limb Castanea dentata.

  Crawling, scaling, gripping handhold, toehold wedged between musculature definition tortured statue, this agent climb legs, slink sliding along plaster groin, gain surmount loincloth. Hand operative me hook all fingers into vast cavity statue navel. Extend reach so able clasp handhold of huge plaster nipple. Statue feature cavern of fake wound, spear hacked deep into left side torso, cruel mortal wound brimming red paint inflicted below rib cage left-side abdomen. For avoid fatigue, seek respite, this agent attain cavern of spear wound. Seated within hollow of laceration, adjacent exposed plaster viscera, legs operative me dangle, eyes able visible entire wide acreage worship shrine. All seat. Location now absent casket Trevor Stonefield.

  Heart muscle operative me rapid pump subside. Achieve rest. From lofty height mortal wound, experience honeyed reek, rich red, gold color, royal blue color sanctuary atmosphere. Vast space swimming full such jewel window color. Perfumed stench.

  Repeat effort scaling plaster male, emerge out wound so gripping knob giant nipple. Reaching hand so grasp clavicle. Dragging this agent ever more high. Find secure toehold between ribs emaciated statue. Find toehold within many curls plaster hair of chest. Find handhold among curls plaster male beard. Hands operative me gripping fake hat woven strands thick plaster thorns, haul hips of this agent so seated atop plaster deltoid.

  For official record, this agent perched upon right-hand shoulder plaster male spiked to crossed sticks wood. Legs operative me dangle, swing down vast pectoral muscle, heels kicking clavicle. Lips operative me level with aural canal plaster head. Shell of ear cartilage big sized enough could entire arm operative me delve inside.

  Sudden sound mystery voice. Occur loud shout.

  Voice say, out cavern audience seating, male voice shout, “What the fuck are you up to?”

  Voice, devil Tony. Making parade along main aisle, approaching position directly below plaster statue, devil Tony say, “This happens to be my church…” Say, “We keep those doors locked for a reason.”

  Voice devil Tony rasp, coarse subsequent subdural hematoma resulting attack operative Magda. Caused screaming during full submerged water bin.

  Buttocks operative me seated, lips of this agent remain sealed.

  “If this is some kind of political protest,” say devil Tony, “you are way off base.” From stance below statue, Tony head tilted back, peering up, say, “I’ll call the police, I swear.”

  Devil Tony. This agent. Entire scene suspended atmosphere silent, perfume smell, stained colors.

  Arms folded so cross own chest, devil Tony tap floor with toe one shoe, say, “Don’t think I won’t, mister.” Say, “I’m not bluffing.”

  In secret, this agent reciting whisper, say, “Neon… neptunium … nickel …” Whisper say into right-hand ear torture male, yawning plaster ear, whisper, “Platinum… polonium … potassium…”

  Concealed within trouser operative me, neurotoxin requiring test. Pig of Guinea.

  Next then, devil Tony commence pace small parade, one direction, opposite direction, pacing as sentry far below statue. Pacing, say, “You’re not going to blackmail me.” Say, “It’s not my fault, what happened …”

  Pacing cease, devil Tony flex both leg, sink so kneel at feet great statue. Both hand gripped fist. Shake both fist at statue face, say, “She told me she was eighteen.” Say, “She told me she was on the pill”

  Fisting this atmosphere sweet scent, luminous gold color, spittle flashing red, blue, yellow colors, devil Tony say, “How’s it my fault if the bitch can’t speak decent English?”

  Such remark reference agent 36. Operative Magda.

  Concealed with trouser operative me, noxious toxin. Folded newsprint photograph depicting imprisoned grieving Stone-field parentage. Remaining soiled paper dollars confiscated rape of clear-yellow bully.

  Operative Magda gestating fetus fathered … devil Tony.

  State-designated reproductive partner this agent.

  Quote, “A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.”

  Eyes devil Tony begging response, starving of mercy, peering up, Tony say, “Hey!” Say, “I’m still down here.” Say, “Can you at least give me a sign?”

  Ensconced right-hand shoulder supreme plaster male, this agent extract glass vial out trouser. Extract currency bill former of clear-yellow bully. At final, extract wadded fabric white color, circled elastic three openings, knit cotton fabric—inner pants former occupied groin operative Magda. Soiled blood at junction two thigh, stiff from dried patches, male seed stain pubis. Hand operative me, finger this agent release inner bikini pants so plummet, dropping straight distance, fluttering, drifting shift white color through red light, yellow light, gold, spattered blood former Magda maidenhead. Crusted leakage excess devil seed.

  Where seated atop lofty shoulder, red paint out hat of thorns, paint bleed wide stripes down plaster face cheek, pale plaster neck dead statue.

  During fall inner pants, settle through luscious scent, sugary reek plant life. Descend until landed soft pile adjacent kneel devil Tony. Devil legs stand, venture stride, flex, stoop so hand seize impregnated bikini pants, instant fast conceal within fist. Stabbing bikini fist upward, jabbing eyes at statue, neck craned backward so expose tender windpipe, devil Tony say, “These prove nothing …”

  Inner pants granted this agent during Junior Swing Choir, given of Magda last today.

  Covert next then, devil clutch fist containing inner pants. Duck chin and position soiled pants at nostril. Almost hidden, in secret devil predator inhale pubis scent. Lingering cologne demolished hymen. Small tainted trace amount neural toxin for test.

  Quote, “A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.”

  Same now, devil Tony face skin bleach pallid. Skull topple atop slack neck. Heavy skull drag down total cadaver, entire skeleton fold to floor worship shrine. Devil deleted. Solely muscle random twitch. Seeping tiny trickle blood both ear.

  White rodent erased.

  Dispatch

  Twenty-ninth

  Begins here twenty-ninth account of operative me, agent number 67, competing first-round preliminaries National Science Fair, regional chapter of state . Top important priority: project operative me judged most best, deemed worthy progress next succeeding level science fair located metropolitan area . Allow this agent detonate righteous vengeance accompanied along operative Tanek, Magd
a, Chernok, Ling, all agent, on behalf glorious homeland .

  Science fair competition consist judges, top esteemed academic scholar, respected instructor, tour amongst project, stop so listen during each young entrant describe. Each judge frequent consult wristwatch. Often mask with open hand, stifle stretched mouth of yawn.

  For official record, decoy science project operative me staged so appear merely demonstration copackaged DNA recombinant intermolecular template-switching subsequent recombinant strain viral reptile RNA. Craft this agent placard, pink-color cardboard lettered English words “Path to Permanent Global Peace.” Outlining recombination rates, evolution system based necrosis reptile RNA. Such elementary. So simple easily infant able comprehend. Experiment such softball prompt operative Oleg guffaw. Tibor snickering.

  Location event this today, regional competition projects National Science Fair displayed same sports arena wherein original this agent attended mating ritual gyrating among music, introduced Madam Milk Makers. Next then, staged this here, Model United Nation. Most recent, battle of dodging balls.

  Lips operative me explain method surefire bring about global peace. Resolve significant world political conflict. Simply analyze human genome for identify traits linked violence, conflict associated reptilian brain stem. Offer adequate treatment so suppress impulse hostility. Isolate out all individual predisposed aggression for appropriate gene therapy. Eradicate every strife within single generation humanity. Craft world happy sunshine peace. Beneficent lovely flower peace.

  Offer face operative me, shining facsimile expression smile.

  Among gullible judges, professor say, “World peace?” Bobbing skull to make head meaning “yes,” say, “Peace is really good.”

  Secret within thinking machine operative me, no voice, quote profound genius, generous mentor Leon Trotsky, say, “On every side, the slug humanitarianism leaves its slimy trail, obscuring the function of intelligence and atrophying emotion.”