Pygmy

  For benefit all society, most crucial segregate intellect out physical fit.

  All accomplished in battle dodge of ball.

  For official record, prior this today operative me forever selected final for dodgeball army. Captains respective armies bicker over negotiate inclusion this agent. Captain say, “We’ll take the gimp and the retard if you take Pygmy…”

  Forever during, peer group females observe, issue exaggerate facial features express disgust, pinch nostrils shut, protrude tongue muscles, making straight finger at direction this agent.

  Except this today, no occur such scenario.

  This today, most large majority fellow male student appareled fabric tunic, black fabric printed English alphabet words “Property of Jesus.” Recounting accurate, this agent. Such many peer males appareled identical tunic of operative me. Male student arrive arena gymnasium, approach this agent, say, “Yo, Pygmy, my man.” Say, “You’ll be on my team, right?”

  Peer males assemble so reproductive females observe from distance opposite portion arena gymnasium. Among males, exceptions no appareled black tunic operative me, no approach this agent, only operative Tibor, Oleg, Chernok. All fellow operatives, chosen long-ago today of career testing, created orphan American terrorist that dismal passed today, operatives Ling, Mang, Tanek, merely stand in distant. Cast pointed eye upon this agent.

  During same now, former male delegate Brunei demand, say, “Pygmy, show me that thing where you break people’s legs.”

  Other delegate, Burundi, say, “No, first teach us how to knock everybody out with your elbow…”

  Crowding each aside, gentleman delegate Laos say, “Pygmy, little dude, show us how to kill guys with just your pinkie finger.”

  Ballooning chest with vast inhale, voice of operative me quote benign dictator, ambitious regent Idi Amin, say, “‘Politics is like boxing—you try to knock out your opponents.’”

  Next now, door comes unhealed from wall of gymnasium, door swings to display instructor for period of dodgeball.

  Moment American instructor display self in door, students all stand and say, all unison one voice, “Greetings, esteemed most revered educator. Accept, please, our gratitude for the wisdom you impart.”

  All American youth, male and female, say such.

  Sole exception this agent.

  Immediate all student bidding for this agent warrior among team, beseeching accompany into battle of inflated latex bladders. Forced settle dispute using traditional ritual hurtling monetary coin at roof, allow final position of tumbling coin to decide: head or tails. In capitalist nation, all is decided by money. Beyond this agent, each army assembled conscripting best physical specimen. Armies take position opposite walls gymnasium. Provisioned equal quantity inflated bladder.

  Instructor physical education insert metal snail, silver-color snail, between own face lips. Instructor exhale snail so create shrill sound whistle, same now bladders fly.

  Space gymnasium echoing impact rubber bladders. Bounce and slam contact with basketball wood of floors. Slap hit of impact rubber skidding, abrading human skin. Squeal lining of athletic shoe barking against floor varnish. Thunder of running feet, chased feet, charging shoes. Bladder hurtle such speed trailing scream before skinning cheek skin of president chess club. Welting shoulder, swollen red welt, National Merit Scholar.

  Amid volley such deadly bladders, former gentleman delegate Bahrain say, “Little dude, teach me that backward kick…”

  Requests instruction Exploding Mule kick-sock.

  Former delegate Myanmar pitch bladder so protect this agent, say, “Hey, Pygmy… show me the other kicking deal.”

  Requests instruction Flying Hyena lash-pow.

  Amid skirmish, landing hail infinite stinging bladders, rampant battlefield speeding missile, operative Tanek take position near elbow this agent. Tanek say whisper, keyed low so audible only ear of operative me, say, “Attention, comrade.” Say, “Become no seduced by silly adoration of American devils.”

  Next then, unseen bladder smite face cheek of operative Tanek. Rules of engagement require that agent extract self out battle, retire to margin gymnasium.

  Eyes all fellow operative condemn this agent.

  Hands of operative me procure inflated bladder. Arms catapult bladder so impact opposing team soldier, operative Otto, deemed among best top army of school. Render Otto fallen, clutching rib cage writhing prone on basketball wood, Otto eyes biting tight shut, bleeding water. Army of operative me issuing massive cheer. All fellow soldier impacting open hands on scapular of this agent. Peer fingers disarray head hairs of operative me. Say, “Way to go, Pyg-ster.”

  Quick then, seize new bladder, hurtle so smite operative Bokara, impacting so sternum that agent issue crack sound. Operative Bokara embrace own self, topple until supine.

  Witnessing females cheer. Stance among crowd females, operative Magda observe with sorrow eye, hands of that agent stroking own flat abdomen. Mammary glands swollen new hormone flood.

  Under death stare fellow operatives, this agent intercept flight speeding bladder, grasp and rocket so stun forehead operative Ling. Impact bladder erupt vast wealth of viscous red blood, explode out nose of that agent. Bladder bounce aside, stamping print blood, print blood, print blood across basketball wood.

  Host pig brother trumpet breath to say, “That’s my brother!” Trumpet, “Smear those foreigners!”

  Operative Ling removed from battlefield. Skirmish continued. Dodging munitions numerous stinging bladders, feet of operative me take stance adjacent pig dog brother. Under heavy fire, say, “Respected brother…” Say, dodging incoming bladder, say, “Procure eight count of Rohypnol pills of sleep, and will train you Punching Panda.” Say, “Make of brother top best invincible.”

  Next then, flying grab hands of this agent, intercept bladder for rescue other fellow soldier, former delegate Congo. To gentleman delegate say, “Acquire one container fabricated steel metal, capacity two cubic feet for purpose science fair…” Say, “In return, promise teach Striking Cobra Quick Kill maneuver.”

  Hurtling bladder so assassinate opposing soldiers, clutter battlefield many casualty, this agent bargain will teach Soaring Condor Double Strike to first man who deliver five pounds potassium nitrate fertilizer. Will instruct Leaping Kangaroo Punch Escape to man able provide blasting cap. Will coach Lunging Lynx beheading yank to anyone granting battery-operated timing device.

  Against backdrop frequent casualty, bombarding heavy artillery rubber bladders, this agent assign former gentleman delegate Equatorial Guinea, precipitate nitrogen tri-iodide sourced ammonium hydroxide of school laboratory. Assign former delegate Mali distill reagent flowers of sulfur. Amidst carnage of battle, assign delegate Peru source 17.67 ounce most purified sodium peroxide.

  Forever continues flurry of war. Brave action noble soldiers engaged in practice of dying. Youth enrolled, greedy to learn killing. Squeal soles so many shoe. Thud impact velocity bladders. Famished for violence.

  Next now, former gentleman delegate Mozambique say, “Pygmy, my man.” Offer elbow bent own arm, say, “Now break my arm!” Say, “I got a test on Silas Marner next period.”

  Request of delegate timing device.

  Mozambique say, “Would my clock radio work…?”

  Same now, fists of operative me hammer bam-blam, Giant Stork Death Kick, snapping puny ulna delegate, compound fracturing so bone emerge out ruptured skin of youth forearm. Upon sound, bone crack, pop out muscle tissue, at now when Mozambique witness, delegate soldier roll own eyeballs backward in skull. Skeleton buckle at knees, buckle at waist and neck. Collapse upon basketball wood. No conscious. No Silas Marner.

  Quote, “Politics is like boxing—you try to knock out your opponents.”

  Revered instructor breathing shrill noise out silver snail. Travels inflated bladder imprinting spilled nose blood out Ling, bounce blood onto wood, onto face soldiers smeared red, warrior hands stained blood.

  Location dodgeball war—same
location of ritual mating dance. Same location as Model United Nations. Chipped in concrete wall, ricochet bullet out pistol of Trevor Stonefield. From perimeter this gymnasium, casualty Tibor, casualty Otto and Bokara and Ling, cast eye pledging patient future attack upon this agent.

  Next now, numerous fellow soldier: former delegates Antigua, Latvia, Lesotho, delegates Nauru, Namibia, Nigeria, all learning nothing of Silas Marner, dreading test, all take stance so fists of operative me may bam-blam quick render them helpless cripple.

  Dispatch

  Twenty-fourth

  Begins here twenty-fourth account operative me, agent number 67, seated surrounding meal table host family Cedar. American holiday food of Thanksgiving. Present: vast cow father, pig dog brother, chicken mother, cat sister host family all hands linked so create fence surrounding bounty food table. Recite religious incantation . Express gratitude such bounty slaughtered enemy citizens of . Nation boast celebration vanquish aboriginal North American peoples .

  For official record, intestines of operative me infinite sickened gorging diet typical United State household. Cooked muscle tissues of Colonel Sanders. So infinite such array various flesh. Lunatic selection cheese, tissue, lactic secretions garnered of lesser sentient being. Bowels United State citizen harnessed heavy labor of process. Diet every spectrum culture across globe—based starches corn, rice, wheat, potato. All every citizen expected always dine, bowels tolerate infinite novelty perpetual introduced: fondue, dim sum, beef of Wellington. Intestines perennial challenged lasagna, burrito, Twinkie of Hostess.

  All beauty created of the deity eventual to pass through American mouth, viscera, excreted anus.

  Additional introduces food industry constant stream novel menu selections, every always touting new torture: steak tartare, marshmallow fluff, aspartame. Forever bombarding microwaves so burst kernel popcorns. Forever occupied electric ovens, burdened pizza pie consisting of solid ice.

  Skinny claw chicken mother reach, snatch skin face cheek operative me, clamping skin, say, “I told Pygmy he could cook any ethnic thing he wanted, just so long as he didn’t slaughter a goat in my kitchen.”

  Dawn of today, making most humble tone, voice of operative me request to prepare meal originating native homeland of this agent. Confront chicken host mother amid domain cooking appliance, larder too plentitude clashing foodstuffs.

  Fashion face of operative me passable facsimile expression of caring, project demeanor juvenile affection. Perform best mimic begging sloth eye, stupid American child. Rational how host mother forever preparing so delicious meal, forever imprison place of stove, to repayment must this grateful agent instead suckle host family. Assemble consumables Thanksgiving.

  Commencing ritual meal, pig dog brother load meat to own mouth, masticating roasted muscle fiber.

  Hand lifted fork so close focus examine tines loaded beef, host mother poke own nose so inhale meat, say, “Did you hear?” Say, “They arrested Glen for abusing Trevor…” Tilt own torso vicinity host father, say whisper, “Sex abuse.”

  Twitching chicken mother say, “How Glen Stonefield could show his face in church, crying at his baby’s coffin, I don’t know.” Say, “I mean, Trevor was brutally sodomized.”

  Delectable consumables supplemented abundant portion sodium chloride. Palatable savory beefs, pleasing grains rice with churned polyps potato impregnated dairy fats, all containing excessive sodium chloride. Generating great appetite of water, catalyst hunger of liquid gobbling vast beverage.

  Pig dog swallowing, cat sister, cow father and chicken mother, all host family engaged feasting upon water.

  Ingredient sodium chloride spur suffer starvation of water.

  Nostril flared so deep sensate odor beef, mother peek into burden fork, say, “The autopsy, I guess it showed Trevor had scars.” Mother swivel skull so single nostril scenting morsel beef, say, “Inside his bottom” Top and bottom incisor of mouth reach at fork, meet, sink, pinch strand single muscle fiber beef, string red beef sinew, say, “And the fissures or what all… they looked fresh”

  Cow father inhale odor emanating fork, say, “This ain’t half-bad, but it doesn’t taste like any beef I’ve ever eaten.”

  Explain this agent how no consume beef in homeland operative me. Culture of this agent holds beef solely as household mascot. Beloved pet.

  Pig brother fork seize, halt middle of distance between plate and own mouth. Host brother eye ogle morsel meat, say, “This is beef?” Pig dog cast eye to rest upon this agent. Say, “You cooked this?”

  Stealth cat sister say, “Why’s it so salty?”

  Explain how this agent initially required apprehend beef, extract collar with medals of identification, euthanasia painless utilizing Bird Wing Neck Twist, zing-wring, instant fast quick death. Subsequent dress beef carcass, removal paws, season meat, pan sear, bake four hundred degrees. Sprig rosemary.

  Vast breathing cow father, squint smirk eye upon this agent, say, “Your English needs a little work.” Say, “Cows don’t have paws.” Say, “We say hooves…”

  Trapezius muscle host brother contract, lift shoulders so shrug near ears. Host brother remain consuming beef, say, “Remember, little man, you’re teaching me how to kill guys with my bare feet.” Next now, face totter. Neck sway. Backbone drooping so face-plant pig dog nose deep plunge mashed-potato pile. Post crash land, skull remain mired, deep-breathing gravy lapsed comatose sleep. Mumble asleep through gravy, say, “I hope it’s the Wilsons’ ‘beef’” Drowning pig brother say, “I’m sick of hitting its shit with the lawn mower.”

  Next then wilts head chicken mother, dropping, settling pointed chin to rest upon cloth covering meal table. Head of cow father topple slow motioning more low, more low landing among own soiled plate.

  Drinking water laced dense portion flunitrazepam, no-color pill of Rohypnol.

  Water laced heavy solution gamma hydroxybutyric acid, no color liquid GHB.

  Laced heavy suspension ketamine hydrochloride white-color powder.

  Eye cover skins cat sister, skins flutter. Cover skins slide shut, flash open, flicker closed. Host sister shoulder neck melt, collapse face sideways until cheek flat laid atop table. Sister lips sputter, snort, sputter, say, “Pygmy, you traitor…” Say, “If I wake up pregnant, I’m so going to kick your ass…”

  Stroking hair cat sister, dense hairs draping shape skull, lips operative me quote master prognosticator, vanguard pioneer Malcolm X, say, “‘The future belongs to those who prepare for it today’”

  Delve hand operative me entering trouser cat sister, constraining denim warm of female thigh muscle. This agent extract cylinder for illumination, manipulate trigger except produce no brightness. Agitate, wag cylinder, only continue produce no brightness. Electric bulb intact. Surmise battery exhausted.

  Recover out sister trouser jar containing salve black paint.

  Next then, mission insist venture to beneath of family table, progressing upon kneel and hands operative me. Along floor, concealed within cloth table cover. Venture until position between kneels host mother, enveloping skull operative me within hemline mother skirt. Fingers operative me apprehending elastic edge, stitched decorative lace of host mother undergarment, stretch so enable withdrawal said apparel, reveal mature pubis. Shoulders operative me brace mother thighs more wide, enable fingers of this agent explore vaginal orifice. Discover ready lubricated copious flooded secretions natural mucus. Plundering depth vaginal vault, finger discover contain moderate missile polish plastic emitting gentle shiver vibration. Through tissue vault, contractions heart muscle faint, irregular. To removal, sliding, do battle vacuum so extract plastic missile until liberated flesh canal. Full evacuated, bright color yellow plastic. Twist until seam appear midway missile, spread wide, twist two threaded half-separated. Harvest cylinders battery.

  Replace exhausted battery into missile. Seal two half together. Plunge missile so implanted hidden within birth passageway host mother.

  Manipulate trigger, illuminate cylinder
produce strength vast brightness. Valid battery.

  This agent select spoon utensil, quickly stroke metal spoon abrading fabric tunic sleeve so polished most reflective. Position concave bowl spoon to mirror face operative me, reflection inverted, during apply layer black paint. Smudge black edging mouth this agent. Smear black surrounding eye, erasing inverted image operative me. Obliterate until visage operative me vanished.

  Next now, position two finger operative me applied side of cat sister neck. Detect sister heart muscle pumping weak, seldom. Upon removal fingers, remain on sister skin two oval blemish black paint, patterned friction ridges this agent. Position polish metal spoon within path cat sister nostril, fogged slight by flow breath steam, proof still alive.

  Purse tight lips of this agent, knot lip muscles so tight as fist. Pressure fist of lips contacting lips of cat sister. Impact soft asleep lips host sister. Upon withdraw, this agent say, “Sole anything life guarantees humans to enjoy—eventual death.” Say, “Nation of cat sister merely infinite contest determining most popular.” Say, “American citizen all enslaved desiring affection, attention all fellow citizen.”

  Addicted adoration. Urgent need ardor from every direction.

  Eyes operative me observe application black paint, smudged lips operative me, create black-colored lips upon cat sister. Next future event cat sister examine mirror, reflected there to discover lips kissed black.

  Could be, this agent simply luggage sister until arrive sleeping platform, remove total apparel. Ready weapon operative me before helpless no-clothed vagina. Apply multitude flurry black kisses paint printed host sister nipples and vulva. Could be mount asleep vagina so implant seed.