Leave Me Breathless

  Dedication

  To everyone who read Rock Me and asked me for this story. Without your encouragement, it wouldn’t have been written. Every single word of this is for you.

  Chapter One

  Being single on Valentine’s Day sucked.

  Macy Rodgers sipped her Dos Equis and mused that plenty of people would argue with that statement. People happy in their carefree singlehood. And that was fine. She could remember when she’d been one of them.

  Her two best friends, Candace and Samantha, cackled over the noise in the too loud, too warm bar. Apparently, some joke had passed between them while Macy had been pondering bolting for the door to spend the night at her apartment in blessed solitude watching Bridesmaids for the five hundredth time.

  It wasn’t so much that she lamented the fact she had no one to send her flowers or give her chocolate or take her out to a candlelit dinner before tumbling her into bed. That was partly it, but no…the worst part about being a single girl on Valentine’s Day was well-meaning, relationship-entrenched friends who decided you were a pity case and took it upon themselves to distract you from the oh-so-obvious tragedy your sexless life had become.

  She did enjoy seeing the girls, though. Lately, it didn’t happen often enough.

  “So what is this surprise you said you have for me?” she asked Candace when she could get a word in edgewise. Candace and Sam had been all aflutter about something when they dragged Macy out of work earlier, and now not a word about whatever was in store had been mentioned since.

  Her friends exchanged glances and furtive grins. Great. They were about to embarrass the crap out of her somehow. Candace checked her cell phone, tapped out a text and then slipped it back into her purse. Macy didn’t like the self-satisfied look on her face. “Patience, my dear.”

  “Is this…a good surprise, or an I-get-to-maim-you-later surprise?”

  “I honestly can’t answer that,” Samantha said, and Candace nodded her agreement.

  Macy slapped her hands on the tabletop. “That’s it, I’m out—”

  “No!” Each girl grabbed a shoulder to keep her seated. “It’s okay, Mace,” Candace soothed. “Relax.”

  Macy swept her gaze around, frowning. What the hell could it be? A male stripper? Surely not in here. And surely her friends knew better than to cook anything up between her and Jared.

  Yeah, to put the nail in the coffin of her Valentine’s night, her ex-boyfriend was here. They’d remained on good terms, and she even gave Jared’s twin daughters horse riding lessons twice a week, but that didn’t mean she wanted him to see her in here practically wearing a big sign over her head that flashed Still Single After All These Years! in neon letters. So far, she’d mostly managed to keep the entire bar between them. But he was divorced from the woman who’d come along after Macy sent him running, and he didn’t appear to be with anyone now, so that was a bonus.

  Maybe they bought me a male escort. Ha! Sure. The girls might have grown as tired of her aching dry spell as she was. As much as she wanted a relationship, there just wasn’t time to seek one out—or even a little oasis in the drought. Between managing her parents’ outdoor retail store and riding lessons at their ranch and seeing her friends whenever her schedule and theirs would allow, she felt stretched too thin. Wound too tight. A man thrown into the mix might very well cause her to snap.

  Then there were days like these that made her look around and feel like a colossal failure for not having achieved what her best friends had: true happiness.

  She tried not to dwell on it. Mostly she didn’t, but tonight was different. Dammit, twenty-five wasn’t old, but when she considered the fact that she’d like to have kids before thirty, she didn’t have a whole lot of time.

  “Brian wants to pierce my nipples,” Candace announced.

  Or…maybe she was doing pretty well on her own, if that’s what true happiness entailed.

  “Awesome.”

  “Oh my God! You’re not going to let him do it, are you?”

  Candace looked back and forth between Sam and Macy and shook her head. “See, I played this conversation out in my head before we got here. So far it’s going exactly as I had envisioned.”

  “You know us so well,” Macy said wryly, taking a swig of her beer to chase down the swallow she’d nearly choked on. She should’ve grown accustomed to Candace’s little Brian-related bombshells by now, but she hadn’t. In Macy’s mind, he belonged with Ghost in a far-off universe she would never understand, and there they would both remain.

  Ghost. Given the funk she was in, the last thing she needed was to start thinking about him.

  “That is so freaking hot,” Sam said, still shouting to be heard over the blaring country music. “But you get a hands-on demonstration of Brian’s hotness every night, right? Lucky girl.”

  “He’s hot because he wants to drive a needle through her nipples?” Macy asked.

  “Well, I brought it up to him,” Candace said. “He doesn’t push anything on me, and if I told him no, he’d back off. But I’m having fun letting him try to convince me.” An impish smile curled her lips, an expression Macy never would have imagined seeing on her sweet friend a year ago. Hell, a year ago, she’d have laughed riotously at the thought of even having this discussion. With Candace, of all people.

  But her once straight-and-narrow best friend now sported three tattoos, a belly ring, hot pink streaks in her blonde hair and who knew what else. All thanks to her tattoo-parlor-owning boyfriend, Brian Ross. Why Brian and Candace weren’t together on their first Valentine’s Day as a couple was a mystery Macy hadn’t quite put together and didn’t really want to ask about. But if they were talking piercings, then everything must be hunky-dory in their world.

  Sam gave a quasi-orgasmic little shudder. “You’ll have to tell me what it’s like. I might think about doing it too.”

  Sam was another story. This kind of talk from her didn’t come as any surprise.

  “He says it really heightens sensitivity.”

  “It can also eradicate it altogether,” Macy muttered, knowing she was whistling in the wind. “It can do permanent nerve damage. Not to mention—”

  “That’s what I’ve heard,” Sam said to Candace, but it wasn’t in response to Macy’s warning.

  “Yeah, it drives him crazy when I play with his rings.”

  “There’s also rejection, infection—”

  “Brian knows what he’s doing, Mace.”

  Macy subsided, pulling her lips between her teeth to contain the retort. Of course. Brian knew everything. The sun came up in the morning because Brian said it should. Forget simple facts.

  “But he might get so excited because it’s you he’s piercing that all the blood will drain south from his brain, and he could really mess up.” It was one of the more sensible things Sam had said.

  Candace laughed. “Maybe I’ll spring it on him out of the blue one day when we’re just hanging out at the studio. He won’t have time to think about it much.”

  “And neither will you,” Sam said. “That’s the only way I’d have the nerve to do it. If I had too much time to think about it, I’d chicken out.”

  “You guys really are crazy. Why even do something if it scares you so much?”

  Candace shook her head. “It’s not that it’s scary, Macy. But it’s…intense. It’s a rush.”

  “Why do people bungee jump? Or skydive?” Sam said.

  “Freaking adrenaline junkies,” Macy muttered. “All the piercing and tattoo stuff, you say it’s all about your ‘self-expression’, but in the end I think it’s simple addiction.”

  “For some people, maybe. And it’s fun. We’re not depraved or something because we like it. My thrill is simply different than your thril
l.”

  “That stuff you did on a horse, Mace? See, that’s crazy to me,” Sam said. “You were a little kamikaze. When I would watch you barrel race, I could hardly pry my fingers apart to peek through them.”

  “Agreed,” Candace said.

  Macy shot a glare at Sam. “Bad analogy. We all know how that ended.”

  Both the other girls clamped their mouths shut, and Macy instantly wished she could take the words back. She covered her face with her hands. “I’m sorry. I’m just…I don’t know. I love you guys. But maybe this was a bad idea.”

  “No, I’m sorry,” Sam said quickly, her rueful expression making Macy feel worse. “It’s not you. That was a totally insensitive thing for me to say.”

  “But you know I’m usually not so sensitive about it,” Macy said. “At least not with you guys. Like I said, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

  “You need to get laid.” Candace declared this as if it should be obvious to everyone.

  Macy rolled her eyes and laughed. “That’s never been a cure-all for me, and you know it.”

  “Maybe because you haven’t found someone yet who can do it right.” Candace twirled her barely touched beer bottle between her hands. “It’s too bad Ghost left, huh?”

  She hadn’t wanted to think about him, and she damn sure could’ve done without the mention. Ghost was Brian Ross’s best friend and employee who had somehow managed to short-circuit Macy’s brain. It was the only explanation for the way she’d behaved with him that one night all those months ago…

  Now was the time to choose her words very, very carefully with her friends.

  “It wouldn’t have mattered. I was…intrigued by him. But I’m just being realistic here. He and I have absolutely nothing in common. I mean, it’s not that I need to have my perfect match or anything, but we have to mesh in at least some areas.” She took a breath. “Besides, it’s a moot point. Who knows when he’ll be back?”

  “But what if he did come back?” Sam asked, twirling her dark blonde hair around her finger and grinning. “I mean…what if he walked in the door right now?”

  Macy shrugged. “I’ve made up my mind.”

  “You’re saying you didn’t mesh in any areas? You admitted you had a lot of fun when you hung out with him. That’s a start. A good start.”

  “He’s not my type. A more not-my-type guy never existed.”

  “Oh, throw the types out the window,” Sam said. “He’s hilarious—”

  “He’s wrong.”

  “That’s what’s so great about him, though. Plus he’s sexy as hell. I love bald guys. I love their shiny heads. Just makes me want to rub ’em. And rub some more. And rub and rub and rub…”

  Candace and Macy dissolved into laughter as Sam carried on with her imaginary rubbing. “What would he need me for?” Macy asked Candace. She jabbed a thumb in Sam’s direction. “Send this one over to him. For all his head-rubbing needs.”

  “No, no,” Sam said, sobering. “I’ve got Michael. Not that he’d ever shave his head. But I think when Ghost gets back, you need to give the guy a break.”

  She’d given him one. But her friends did not know that, and did not need to know that, because they would be insufferable. Oh yes, she’d given him a hell of a break. And then she’d run scared because of how good it had been. And then, just like that, he was gone, off to Oklahoma to deal with a family crisis. Months had gone by. She knew he still kept in close touch with Brian, but Macy hadn’t heard a word.

  So it was crazy to think anything could come of it now. She’d messed up too bad, too soon—but that was okay, because like she’d told her friends, their pairing didn’t make sense. At all.

  Even if the thought of giving him another “break” sent a shiver all the way to her toes and had warmth curling in decidedly more interesting places on her body. The beer she’d imbibed wasn’t helping, but she should have known better than to think it would take the edge off. It only made it sharper. That didn’t stop her from taking another swig.

  “His dick is probably pierced,” Sam said thoughtfully.

  Macy barely forced the swallow of beer down her throat before erupting in a groan. How in the hell was she going to play this? “Oh God.”

  “You don’t know what you’re missing,” Candace said with a singsong tone, leaning over to pinch Macy’s arm.

  “Wait a minute. Does he…is it… I mean, do you know?” Sam asked Candace. “Did you guys have some ménage action going on over there?”

  “No! It’s not like I’ve seen it, jeez. I’m only speaking from experience with Brian. But it’s a pretty good guess.”

  Candace had guessed right. He had some kind of piercing going on down there. Macy hadn’t seen it herself—it had been too dark in the car for that—but she’d felt it. God, had she ever felt it. “You guys have got to let up on me. I’m…going to be traumatized.”

  “Macy, just give the guy a shot.”

  “There’s just one problem with that. He’s. Not. Here.”

  Sam’s brown eyes flickered over Macy’s right shoulder, in the direction of the entrance. Her face brightened in a big grin. “Are you so sure about that?”

  “Huh?”

  Candace followed Sam’s gaze and squealed in delight, jumping from her seat and darting off behind Macy’s seat.

  All of a sudden, she was terrified to turn around and see what was coming her way.

  Oh. Surprise, surprise.

  She leaned toward Sam, knowing murder was in her eyes. “You did not.”

  Sam’s eyes twinkled. “Oh, honey, we did. We’re tired of you moping around. I don’t know what happened with you and him, but clean the slate. Here’s your chance.” Her words ran so close together at the end, Macy knew he was almost at their table. What was she going to do now? Her heart halfway up her throat, she was forced to glance up when it seemed a shadow fell across her.

  Yes, she was absolutely going to maim her friends later.

  Chapter Two

  Ghost. Where the hell had he gotten a name like that? He wasn’t particularly pale. Well, maybe a little. But not what she’d call ghastly or anything. There was nothing…wraithlike about him at all; he was a very solidly built six-two or so, judging by how tall he stood next to her five-six.

  Tattooed. Pierced. Shaved head, though right now he wore a black baseball cap pulled low over his eyes with the hood of his black sweatshirt over it.

  The very antithesis to everything she wanted, or thought she wanted.

  He was looking right at her, shit-eating grin in place, one dark eyebrow arched. That stare was like a vacuum. Or a black hole. Nothing could escape it.

  “Hi!” she managed to squeak—she even managed a smile. When his own grin widened, she pushed herself up from her seat to give him a hug. Unfortunately, her legs were Jell-O, and his tight squeeze kept her from getting up close and personal with the floor even more than those shaking appendages did.

  He felt good. Warm, despite the chill of the night air still clinging to his hoodie. Familiar, even if she’d only been in those arms once.

  And then he had to speak, the rumble of his voice raising the hair at her nape. “Hey, killjoy.”

  Everyone laughed, delighted at the return of the nickname he’d pinned on her not long after they’d met. She only then realized Brian had joined them too, and was snuggling into the booth next to his girlfriend.

  “I have a question,” Ghost announced as Macy reclaimed her seat and he slid in beside her, practically cramming her against the wall. His denim-clad thigh was rock hard against her bare one. Sam claimed what was left of the seat on his other side, so she was well and truly trapped. A shiver worked through her. “What in the actual fuck are we doing in a honky-tonk?” He motioned around at the plethora of cowboys and cowgirls dancing to the twang of country music.

  “It’s Macy’s night,” Candace said as Brian nuzzled her neck. “She got to pick.”

  “Ah, that figures. Just don’t get Brian and me into a brawl
with any rednecks. I’m not too stoked to spend the night in jail when I just hit town.” Ghost winked at her. God, those eyes. If she hadn’t been so close to him she’d have sworn he lined them. But no, his bottom lashes were just that thick. If he had hair on his head, she figured it would be the same chocolate brown as his goatee—and maybe he did have hair on his head now for all she knew. She couldn’t tell. But he was one of those guys who definitely rocked the look—his features were strong enough. He stretched out both arms, one behind Macy and one behind Sam, and tilted his chin up at Brian. “I’ve got double your fun, dude.”

  Brian, who was mid-smooch with Candace, broke away and laughed. “Good for you. I’ve got all the fun I can handle right here.” Candace blushed and beamed.

  Macy nearly jumped out of her skin when Ghost leaned over and put his lips mere inches from her ear. “Am I crashing your party, babe?”

  Her face flamed. Did he know about her Valentine’s pity party? “Crashing my party?” she echoed lamely. “No, not at all—I mean, it’s not a party. Nor is it mine.”

  He chuckled. “All right.” Her friends were sending her knowing little smirks.

  Yes, maim them.

  But she couldn’t deny that it was good to see him, that a part of her had missed him and she hadn’t completely realized it until now. “Are you back for good?” she asked.

  He shrugged, pulling his arms back and resting them on the table. “Nana’s doing…okay, considering. She’s settled in the nursing home and my sister lives near there, so I figured I might as well come home and try to get back to normal, at least for a while. I’ll be going up there to visit a lot, though.”

  His grandmother, who’d raised him from the time his parents were killed in a car accident when he was six, was in failing health. Macy didn’t know much beyond what Candace had told her about the reason for his absence, but she couldn’t help noticing the set of his mouth seemed a little grimmer than it ever had before. He must’ve been through a lot in the past few months.

  “I’m sorry,” she said softly.

  He shrugged again, but she wasn’t fooled by his feigned nonchalance. “She’s hanging in there. So how’ve you been?”