The Coven

  isn't that easy. And of course, people have strong wills: They

  can choose to be with people, insist on believing that this

  person is their muirn beatha dan when they're wrong and just

  won't admit it"

  I wondered if he was talking about his mother and father.

  "Is there any surefire way to tell?*' I asked.

  "I've heard of spells you can do: complicated ones. But

  mostly witches just rely on their feelings, their dreams, and

  their instincts. They just feel this person is the one, and they go

  with it"

  I felt exhilarated, like I was about to take off and fly.

  "And do you think... maybe we're connected that way?" I asked

  breathlessly.

  He touched my cheek. "I think we might be, yes," he said,

  his voice husky.

  My eyes felt huge. "So what now?" I blurted out, and he

  laughed.

  "We wait we stay together. Finish growing up together."

  This was such an amazing, wonderful, seductive idea that

  I wanted to shout, I love you! And we will always be together!

  I'm the one for you, and you're the one for me!

  "How do you say it again?" I asked.

  "Muirn beatha dan," he said slowly, the words sounding

  ancient and lovely and mysterious.

  I repeated them softly. "Yes," I said, and we met again in

  a kiss. 1

  Long minutes later I pulled away from him. "Oh, no, I've

  really got to go! I'm going to be late!"

  "Okay," he said, and we headed out of his room. It felt so

  hard to leave this place where everything felt so right

  Especially when I knew I had to go home.

  Again I thought about the first time I'd been in Cal's

  room, when the coven had met there. "Are you upset that Beth

  and Raven and Bree have quit?" I asked as we headed down

  the stairs.

  He thought for a moment "Yes and no." he said. "No

  because I don't think you should try to keep someone in a

  coven against their will or even if they're not vary sure. It just

  makes negative energy. And yes because they were all kind of

  challenging personalities, and they added something to the

  mix. Which was good for the coven." He shrugged I guess we'll

  first have to wait and see what happens."

  I put on my coat, wishing I didn't have to go out into the

  cold. Outside the trees wore almost bare, and the leftover

  leaves were a faded brown everywhere I looked.

  "Ugh," I said, glancing out at Das Boot.

  "Fall is trying to turn Into winter,” said Cal, breathing

  steam in the chilly air.

  I watched his chest rise and fell, and a bolt of desire

  ripped through me. I wanted so badly to touch him, to run my

  hands through his hair, down his back, to kiss his throat and

  chest. I wanted to be close to him. To be his muirn beatha dan.

  Instead I tore myself away, fumbling in my coat pocket

  for my keys, leaving Cal standing in the light from his door. My

  heart was full and aching, and I felt heavy with magick.

  12. Beauty Out

  Imbolc, 1982

  Oh, Goddess, Goddess, please help me. Please help me.

  Mathair, her hand rising up black from the smoking ashes. My

  little Dagda. My own da.

  Oh, Goddess, I'm going to be ill; my soul is breaking. I

  cannot bear this pain.

  --Bradhadair

  That night my parents tried to act normal at dinner, but I

  kept looking at them with questions in my eyes, and by dessert

  we were all staring at our plates. Mary K. was obviously upset

  by the silence, and as soon as dinner was over she went up to

  her room and started playing loud music Ceiling-shaking

  thumps told us she was dancing out some of her stress.

  I couldn't stand being there. If only Cal wasn't helping his

  mom. Impulsively I called Janice and joined her, Ben Reggio,

  and Tamara at the dollar movies up In Red Kill We saw some

  stupid action movie that involved a lot of motorcycle chases.

  The whole time I sat there in the dark theater, I kept thinking,

  Muirn beatha dan, over and over.

  On Saturday morning Dad went outside to rake leaves and

  cut back the shrubs and trees so they wouldn't be broken in a

  winter ice storm. Mom took off after breakfast to go to her

  church women's club.

  I put on my jacket and crunched my way outside to my

  dad. "When are you guys going to tell me?" I said flatly. "Are

  you just going to pretend nothing happened?"

  He paused and leaned on the rake for a moment "No,

  Morgan," he said at last. "We couldn't do that, no matter how

  much we wanted to." His voice was mild, and again I felt some

  of my anger deflate. I was determined not to let it go and

  kicked at a small pile of leaves.

  "Well?" I demanded. "Where did you get me? Who were

  my parents? Did you know them? What happened to them?"

  Dad flinched as if my words were physically hurting him.

  "I know we have to talk about it," he said, his voice thin

  and raspy. "But... I need more time."

  "Why?" I exploded, throwing my arms wide. "What are

  you waiting for?"

  "I'm sorry, sweetheart," he said, looking down at the

  ground. "I know we've made a lot of mistakes in the past

  sixteen years. We tried to do our best. But Morgan,” He looked

  at me. "We've buried this for sixteen years. It isn't easy to

  dredge it up. I know you want answers, and I hope we can give

  them to you. But it isn't easy. And in the end, it might be that

  you wish you didn't know."

  I gaped at him, then shook my head in disbelief and

  stalked back to the house. What was I going to do?

  On Saturday night I dropped Mary K. off at her friend

  Jaycee's house. They were going to meet Bakker and a bunch

  of other people at the movies. I was going on to meet with our

  coven at Matt's house.

  "Where's Bakker's car?" I asked as I pulled up in front of

  Jaycee's house.

  Mary K. made a face. "His folks took it away for a week

  after he flunked a history exam."

  "Oh, too bad," I said. "Well, have a good time. Don't do

  anything I wouldn't do."

  Mary K. rolled her eyes. "Oh, okay," she said dryly. "Note

  to self: Try not to dance around naked, doing witchcraft.

  Thanks for the ride." She got out and slammed the car door,

  and I watched her go into Jaycee's house.

  Sighing, I drove on to Matt's house, following his

  directions to the very outskirts of town. Ten minutes later I

  parked in front of a low-slung brick modern house, and Jenna

  let me in.

  "Hey!" she said brightly. "Come on in. We're in the living

  room. I can't remember—have you ever been here before?"

  "No," I said, leaving my coat on a metal hook. "Are Matt's

  parents here?"

  Jenna shook her head. "His dad had a medical convention

  in Florida, and his mom went, too. We have the whole place to

  ourselves."

  "Sweet," I said, following her. We took a right into a large

  living room, a white rectangle with one whole wall made of

  glass. I guess it must have looked out onto the beck-yard, but


  right now it was dark outside, and all I could see was our own

  reflections.

  "Hi, Morgan,”said Matt He was wearing an old rugby shirt

  and jeans. "Welcome to Adler Hall.”

  We both laughed as Sharon came into the room. "Hi,

  Morgan,”she said. "Matt, what's with all the bizarre furniture?"

  "My mom is into sixties stuff," Matt explained.

  Ethan poked his head up from a red plush couch. It was so

  deep, it looked like it was about to swallow him. A white floor

  lamp shaped like a globe with one flat side curved over his

  head. "I feel like I've gone back in time," he said. "All we need

  is a conversation pit"

  "There's one in the study," said Matt, grinning. The

  doorbell rang, and I felt a warm thrill of recognition even

  before Jenna went to answer it Cal, I thought happily, a tingle

  going down my spine. Muirn beatha dan. Moments later I heard

  his voice as he greeted Jenna. All my nerve cells came alive at

  the sound and at the memory of yesterday, in his room.

  "Does anyone want tea, or water, or a soda”Matt offered

  as Cal came into the room, holding a big, beat-up leather

  satchel. "We don't keep alcohol in the house 'cause my dad's in

  AA." This frank admission startled me. "Water sounds great"

  I crossed to Cal and gave him a quick kiss, marveling at

  my own boldness.

  The doorbell rang again. A moment later Matt came back

  into the room, carrying some bottles of seltzer. Robbie was

  right behind him. "Hey," he said.

  I stared. I guess I should have been used to it by now,

  but I wasn't It was as if Robbie's personality and lame social

  skills had been transferred into the body of a teen star. "Where

  are your glasses?" I asked.

  Robbie took a bottle of seltzer from Matt and popped the

  cap. "That's the funny thing," he said slowly. "I don't need

  them anymore."

  "How could you not need glasses?" I demanded. "Did you

  have laser surgery without telling me?"

  "Nope," Robbie said. "That's what all the tests this week

  were about. Apparently my eyesight has just gotten better. I

  was having headaches because I didn't need to wear glasses

  anymore, and the lenses were straining my eyes."

  He didn't sound happy, and it took me a few moments to

  realize that slowly, everyone's attention had turned to me.

  "No!" I said strongly. "I absolutely did not do another

  spell! Honestly—I swear! I promised Robbie, and everyone else,

  that I wouldn't do another spell, and 1 haven't! I haven't done

  any spells at all!"

  Robbie looked at me with his clear, gray-blue eyes, no

  longer hidden by thick, distorting lenses. "Morgan," he said.

  "I swear! I absolutely promise you," I said, holding up my

  right hand. Robbie looked unconvinced. "Robbie! Believe me."

  Conflict showed in his face. "What could it be, then?" he

  asked. "Eyes don't just get better. I mean, the actual shape of

  my eyeballs has changed. They were giving me MRIs to see If I

  had a tumor pressing on my brain."

  "Jesus," Matt muttered.

  "I don't know," I said helplessly. "But it wasn't me."

  "This is incredible," said Jenna, sounding short of breath.

  "Could someone else have put a spell on him?"

  "I could have," Cal said thoughtfully. "But I didn't.

  Morgan, do you remember the actual words of your spell?"

  "Yes," I said. "But I put the spell on the potion I gave

  him, not on him."

  "That's true," Cal mused. "Though if the potion was

  supposed to act on him in some way ... what were the words?"

  I swallowed, thinking back. "Um, 'So beauty in is beauty

  out," I recited softly. "This potion make your blemish nowt.

  This healing water makes you pure, and thus your beauty will

  endure."

  "That was it?" Sharon asked. "God, why didn't you do it

  sooner?"

  "Sharon," Robbie said in irritation.

  "Okay, okay," said Cal. "We have a couple of possibilities

  here. One is that Robbie's eyes have spontaneously healed

  themselves due to some unfathomable miracle."

  Ethan snorted, and Sharon shot him a glance.

  "The second possibility," Cal went on, "is that Morgan's

  spell wasn't specific enough, wasn't limited only to Robbie's

  skin. It was a spell to eliminate blemishes, imperfections. His

  eyes were imperfect; now they're perfect. Like his skin."

  The enormity of that thought was just sinking in when

  Ethan said brightly, "Great! I can't wait to see what It does for

  his personality!"

  Jenna couldn't help snickering. I sank weakly Into a chair

  shaped like a giant cupped hand.

  "The third possibility," said Cal, "is that someone we don't

  know has put a spell on Robbie. That doesn't seem likely—why

  would a stranger want to do that? No, I think it's more likely

  that Morgan's spell has just continued to fix things."

  "That's kind of frightening," I said, chilled. Did I really

  have that kind of power?

  "It's pretty unusual. That's why you're not supposed to be

  doing spells until you know more," Cal said. I felt terrible.

  "When we start learning spells, I'll show you how to limit

  them. Limitations are just about the most important things to

  know, along with how to channel power. When you work a

  spell, you need to limit it in time, effect, purpose, duration, and

  target"

  "Oh, no." I dropped my head into my hands. "I didn't do

  any of that"

  "And actually, now that I think about it you banished

  limitations at the very first circle. Remember?" Cal asked. "That

  might have something to do with this also."

  "So what now?" Robbie demanded. "What else is going to

  change?"

  "Probably not much more," Cal said. "For one thing, even

  though Morgan's really powerful, she's still just a beginner.

  She's not in touch with her full powers."

  I was glad he hadn't referred to me again as a blood

  witch. I wanted people to forget about it for now.

  "Also," Cal said, "this kind of spell is usually self-limiting.

  I mean, the potion was for your face, and you put it only on

  your face, right? You didn't drink it or anything?"

  "God, no," Robbie said.

  Cal shrugged. "So it's just fixing that general area,

  including your eyes, it's unusual, but I guess it's not

  impossible."

  "I don't believe this." I moaned, hiding my face. "I'm such

  an Idiot I can't believe I did this. I am so, so sorry, Robbie."

  "What are you sorry about?" Ethan asked. "Now he can be

  an airline pilot"

  Sharon giggled, then stifled it.

  "So you don't think it's going to do anything else?" Robbie

  asked Cal.

  "I don't know," Cal said. He grinned. "Have you been

  feeling especially smart lately? It could be working on your

  brain."

  I moaned again.

  Cal nudged me. "I'm only kidding. It's probably over. Stop

  worrying."

  He clapped once. "Well. I think it's time to start talking

  about spells and limitations
!"

  I couldn't laugh, though some of the others did.

  "This is our first circle without Bree, Raven, and Beth,"

  said Cal.

  "I'm going to miss them," said Jenna softly. Her eyes

  flicked to me, and I wondered if she thought it was my fault

  that they had left.

  Cal nodded. "Yeah. Me too. But maybe without them we'll

  be more tightly focused. We'll find out"

  We sat in a ring on the floor around Cal. "First, let's go over

  clans," he said. "You know how they all have qualities

  associated with them. The Brightendales were healers. The

  Woodbanes—the 'dark clan'—supposedly fought for power at

  any cost"

  "Ooh," Robbie said. He gave me a mock-fearful look. But I

  just shivered. The very idea of the Woodbanes made me cold. I

  didn't think it was something to laugh at.

  "The Burnhides were known for their magick with crystals

  and gems," Cal went on. "The Leapvaughns were mischief

  makers. The Vikroths were warriors. And so on." He looked

  around the circle. "Well, just as each clan had qualities

  associated with it so each clan also had certain runes that it

  tended to use. So—I think it's time we took a look at some

  runes."

  Cal opened his large leather satchel and pulled out a sheaf

  of what looked like index cards. He held them up, and I saw

  that each one had a rune drawn on it very large.

  "Rune flash cards!" I said, and Cal nodded.

  "Basically, yes," he said. "Using runes is a quick way to

  get in touch with a deep, old source of power. Tonight I just

  want to show them to you and have you concentrate on each

  one. Each symbol has many meanings. They're all there for you,

  if you open yourself up to them."

  We all watched, fascinated, as he held up the white cards

  one by one, reading the runes' names and telling us what they

  traditionally stood for.

  "There are different names for each symbol. The names

  depend on whether you're working within a Norse tradition, or

  German, or Gaelic," Cal explained. "Later on, we'll talk about

  which runes are associated with which clans."

  "This is so beautiful," said Sharon. "I love that people

  have used these for thousands of years."

  Ethan turned to her, nodding his agreement I watched as

  their eyes met and held.

  Who would have known that Sharon Goodfine would find

  Wicca beautiful? Or that Ethan would dare to like her?

  Witchcraft was revealing us not only to ourselves but to each