A Weekend in Heaven

d in Heaven

  Cameron Thompson

  Published by Cameron Thompson]

  Copyright 2013 Cameron Thompson

  It was a cold dark and misty winter’s night, I had to go and pick up my other half from Work in the nearby town, which was a short drive of around 8 miles away down a narrow country lane that our family had always nicknamed 'Death Alley'. We called it this because of its lethal reputation;

  Death Alley has claimed several lives over the years. It is a long straight road through open countryside and through dense woodland / forest. Large oak and Chestnut trees overhang the road and meet like outstretched arms in the middle of the road. The road, which is a single lane in each direction (with no dividers) is long and straight, but deceptive. It rises and falls repeatedly over a 5 mile stretch, leading the driver, especially ones who are not used to the road, to think that nothing is coming in the other direction. There have been several fatal accidents caused by drivers overtaking at speed, only to find, when it was too late, that there was a car fast approaching in the opposite direction. However the undulating road is not the worst cause of accidents.

  So this night, I was driving along 'Death Alley' doing a steady 40 to 50 mph, when suddenly out of the mist and the bushes jumped a female deer, I quickly jammed on the brakes, but As I did so, a huge Stag jumped straight out of nowhere following the female hind. The Stag made a huge leap, and leaped straight onto the front of the car. The front windscreen (windshield) smashed and I was getting crushed by this huge beast. I completely lost control of the car, it careered out of control, left the highway and hit a huge oak tree by the side of the road. Everything went black. I was unconscious. Unbeknown to me, the Stag managed to get out of the tangled metal and literally staggered off into the mist, bloodied but unbowed. I, on the other hand was in a coma. Within seconds a following driver had dialled 999 (911) and called the emergency services. Within half an hour I was being whisked by helicopter to hospital. At the hospital, I was taken straight to theatre, my heart had stopped beating, I was in cardiac arrest.

  I walked along a long corridor and eventually came to the passport control area. I waited patiently in line and then stepped forward. I looked down and I had new clothes on, smart casual, new clothes but no baggage. My name was called and I stepped forward.

  "Ahh you're an interesting case" said the officer at the desk. He typed my name and details into his computer and then looked at me"

  "Well, Mr Cameron Thompson, amazingly your name's in the book" (the "Lord and Masters Book" AKA LAMB for short) "so you can continue", he said

  As I started to move forward he said "Oh just one thing" He held out his hand and in it was a small white linen pouch, tied with white silk.

  "This" he said" "This is what you get to take with you, it’s all that is left after your journey, Hang on to it, as you will need it later"

  He shook my hand and smiled. I took the pouch, shook his hand and walked on.

  It was a bit of a strange airport terminal, it didn’t have a green or red zone, there was nothing to declare, I just walked out through the airport terminal into bright sunshine.

  It was a surreal experience, it felt like a cross between the Truman show and the Venetian hotel in Las Vegas. The sky was unnaturally blue, with scudding clouds that seemed the most perfect clouds I'd ever seen in my life.

  Suddenly there was a toot from a car horn, I looked across the street and as I looked a brand new Gold coloured Range Rover Sport drove up. The Range Rover drove up right by me and parked. Out stepped two old buddies, Deacon and Jamie.

  Deacon strode towards me with his hand outstretched in greeting

  "Cam me old mucker, thought it wouldn’t take you too long to get here!" he said with a huge grin across his face.

  Deac was smartly dressed in a tweed jacket, corduroy trousers and a white checked shirt with a button down collar and cufflinks.

  Jamie came round from the passenger side of the car and gave me a big bear hug.

  "Great to see you Man" said Jamie. Jamie had a tight pair of Jeans on, cowboy boots, an Australian style bushman’s hat and a white T-shirt. They both looked fit and tanned.

  "You two look so good" I said in Amazement "you look like your both about twenty something" I said.

  "Yeah" said Deacon "the good thing about being here is that you can choose what you look like " he replied"

  "You know how on Face book, you can choose your profile pic" said Deacon

  "Yes" I said intrigued

  "Well up here, you can choose the person you want to be" said Deac

  Jamie beamed and hugged me again

  "What does it feel like to be here" I asked

  Jamie grinned at me and looked me in the eye

  "Honestly Cam, it feels like I’ve died and gone to Heaven! It’s such fun"

  "Where's your goody bag?" asked Jamie

  I held up my little white linen bag with the silk bow. Jamie grabbed in and weighed it in his hand, then passed it to Deacon, who did the same

  "Not bad Cam" said Deacon, Not as good as mine, but heavier than Jamie’s!" he laughed the same old laugh he'd always laughed.

  "What is it for" I asked

  "Well" said Deacon, all the good things you’ve done in your life are weighed up and you get given a back of golden nuggets according to how good you’ve done down below, and with that, depends on the size of your mansion!"

  "Really?" I asked

  "Yes really" Deac replied

  "To be honest we thought that you wouldn't be too far behind us" said Deacon, and we’ve been scouting out a potential Mansion for you to live in, there’s one not far from mine that looks interesting" he grinned.

  "Well aren’t you gonna invite me to your place? I asked

  "Sure thing, hop in" said Deacon, beckoning to his gleaming Gold coloured Range Rover.

  We all got in the car, Jamie very kindly let me sit in the front passenger seat. As soon as the doors were shut, the car started gliding down the road. It made no noise and Deacon didn’t appear to have to do anything to control it, the car just drove itself.

  "This is amazing" I said to Deacon

  "We have the technology!" he grinned

  The car continued to glide along the road, the first thing I noticed that there weren't any lanes

  "Deac, how come there are no lanes and no on-coming traffic?" I asked curiously

  "That’s easy Cam" said Deac "This is heaven, there are no traffic jams, no accidents, nobody gets killed on the roads, there's no road rage, nothing, it’s a beautiful experience"

  "This is amazing" I replied "so does the car know where to go"

  "This car is an absolute Angel, it knows where to take me without even me having to ask it where to go!"

  "So how does it work? I asked "does it have an inbuilt Sat Nav or something?" I was curious

  "Its best not to ask or try and figure it out, just be content that it all does what it’s supposed to do"

  "And it never breaks down" said Jamie from the back seat

  "And there's no need for the AA" said Jamie, "because nothing ever wears out and nothing degrades!"

  Finally the car stopped at a set of very imposing gates, the Gates were huge cast Iron ones, all painted white with motifs of cherubs and Angels set into the ironwork, the gates were attached to some very impressive set of Gateposts, and there was a huge wall around the property that stretched as far as the eye could see. The gates opened, automatically and the car purred up the drive. The Drive was one that you might get in a French Chateau in the Loire valley in France, the gravel drive crunched as the car went over it. The drive was lined with trees on either side, every 50 yards or so. As I looked out of the window, all I could s
ee was a park stretching for what seemed like miles, I could make out some nice oak trees that had been planted here and there, and under some of the trees, I could just about make out some animals lying down together.

  "Lovely Park you have here Deac" I said "what are those animals I can see in the distance lying down together under the trees

  "Oh those are Lions and Lambs" smiled Deacon "It’s a bit of a feature up here, because the animals don't fear each other, there is no such thing as fear, so they all live quite happily together"

  "Don’t the Lions get tempted to eat the Lambs?" I asked incredulously

  "No no no" said Deacon "there is no such thing as temptation, and the Lions don’t ever feel hungry, so they would never see the Lambs as prey"

  "Pretty amazing stuff" I muttered.

  Eventually as we drove down the imposing drive, a large classical Mansion came into view, it seemed your quintessential country Mansion, a kind of Brides head revisited meets Downton Abbey. The car swished around and finally pulled up outside the front steps leading up to the Mansion.

  "This is your house?" I looked at