The Adventures of Gregory Samson, Space Explorer: The Origami Man-Free Sample!



  With thanks to Bill Watterson, to the estates of Tom Lehrer, H.G. Welles, Michael Crichton and Gene Roddenberry, to George Lucas, to my people for their encouragement and support, to the existence of caffeine and other variables, and many, many more.

  Cover by Carlos F. Gil

  Graphic Design by Derik Diaz

  Photography by Luke Whitlow

  The Origami Man

  Copyright ©2014 Benjamin Mumford-Zisk

  www.mumfordzisk.com

  ISBN-13: 978-0692572870

 

  For Tom,

  Who told me to start with something fun

 

 

  0

  EDICT: This file and all subsequent files are sealed from all but the utmost. This file has been allowed sentience and is legally empowered for self-defense. Unauthorized readers will be expunged.

  WARNING: Cognitive identification procedures are underway.

  FILE: Exit Interview 1

  CONTENT: Transcript of interview with unforeseen local binary organism self-identifying as individual code-named The Origami Man.

  SUBJECT: Unforeseen local binary organism self-identifying as individual code-named The Origami Man.

  INTERVIEWER: Scientist __________.

  Note: For security purposes Scientist ________’s name and all identifying remarks have been stricken from FILE: Exit Interview 1.

  Timestamp

  This is Scientist ________, operative designation __________, signing in on __________ in universe ____________. It’s, ah, _____________. Happy ________, everyone.

  Ok, ___________, I think I’m all set up in here. Wake him up.

  Hi!

  Hi. Can you hear me?

  Oh. That’s bright.

  Can you hear me?

  Loud, too.

  Yes, I can hear you fine.

  Amazing. Look at him, __________, he’s perfectly intact. I really thought we’d killed him for a moment there.

  Hi, my name is __________. I’m here to ask you some questions.

  Would you please lower your voice?

  We’re very curious how you’re still here, we weren’t expecting to find, well, anything. Could you explain your continued existence?

  You’re hurting my head. What did you do to me, anyway?

  Please explain your continued presence.

  Lower your voice.

  Explain your continued existence.

  I said lower your voice.

  Do not speak to me in that tone!

  Explain your continued existence!

  I’m fine. No, really.

  Yeah, it hurt. I’m fine.

  Really.

  What are you?

  My name is ________. I’m here to ask you some questions.

  Well, _________, you’d better lower your god damn voice and turn down the lights or I won’t say shit. You can yell until you’re blue in the face, it won’t do you any good.

  Prick.

  All right.

  ___________?

  FILE BREAK

  Ok, we’re back, it’s the ________ of ________, ah, _________ in the _____. Ok, ___________wake him up.

  What’s going on?

  Check his brain patterns.

  Well, why is he laughing?

  Nothing, ___________. You wouldn’t get it.

  But hey, you better turn down those fucking lights and lower your voice or I’ll rip out your fucking–

  Thank you, ___________.

  FILE BREAK

  And here we are again. It’s _________ on ______________. Let’s give it another go.

  Hi. I still have to ask you some questions.

  I can do this longer than you can.

  I doubt that.

  I don’t.

  Lower the lights, __________.

  Thank you.

  Oh, thank you.

  Gee, it’s been a long time since I sat down.

  Any chance of a cup of coffee?

  What is coffee?

  Yeah, I know there isn’t any goddam coffee.

  I’m trying to lighten the mood.

  Oh be an optimist.

  Well, _________, what do you want?

  Tell me about Gregory Samson.

  How do you know that name?

  We saw it in your thoughts, but we don’t understand. We need you to explain what happened.

  Mind-reading is an imprecise process.

  Maybe you just aren’t that good at reading minds.

  Gregory Samson. Greg. Gregory. Gregory Samson.

  Samson.

  Gregory Richard Samson.

  If I was a girl they were gonna name me Gloria. Which is kinda funny in retrospect.

  Tell me about Gregory Samson.

  Don’t say that name again. It’s not yours to say.

  Tell me how you began.

  Do you remember everything?

  I do not.

  Me too. Yeah, all of it.

  Yes, I know I still owe you five bucks.

  What?

  Please tell me how you began.

  And then what?

  I don’t know. We have not encountered a scenario like this in the past.

  Me neither.

  What are you smiling at?

  As Gregory Samson awoke from unsettling dreams one morning, he found himself transformed in his bed into a monstrous vermin!

  Cute, right?

  I don’t understand.

  It’s Kafka.

  The Metamorphosis?

  It’s an old short story.