Junie B. Jones Is a Party Animal
Barbara Park
Contents
1. The Richiest Nanna
2. Excellent Work of Us
3. The Rules
4. Packing My Bags
5. Going to the Ball
6. Bouncing
7. Peeping
8. Morning
1/The Richiest Nanna
My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don’t like Beatrice. I just like B and that’s all.
I am almost six years old.
Almost six is when you ride the bus to afternoon kindergarten.
My bestest friend named Grace rides the bus with me.
Every day she sits right exactly next to me. ’Cause I save her a seat, that’s why.
Saving a seat is when you zoom on the bus. And you hurry up and sit down. And then you quick put your feet on the seat next to you.
After that, you keep on screaming the word “SAVED! SAVED! SAVED!” And no one even sits next to you. ’Cause who wants to sit next to a screamer? That’s what I would like to know.
Me and that Grace have another bestest friend at school. Her name is Lucille.
Lucille does not ride the bus with us. Her richie nanna drives her to school in a big gold car. It is called a Cattle Act, I think.
And guess what?
Today that big gold Cattle Act was driving right next to the school bus!
I banged on my window very excited.
“LUCILLE! HEY, LUCILLE! IT’S ME! IT’S JUNIE B. JONES! I AM RIGHT NEXT TO YOU ON THE SCHOOL BUS! SEE ME? SEE ME, LUCILLE? I AM BANGING ON MY WINDOW VERY EXCITED!”
Lucille did not see me.
“YEAH, ONLY HERE’S THE PROBLEM! YOUR NANNA JUST SPEEDED UP HER CAR. AND NOW YOU ARE ZOOMING WAY AHEAD OF THE BUS. AND SO HOW COME I AM STILL SHOUTING AT YOU? THAT’S WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW.”
I sat down and smoothed my skirt.
“Lucille’s nanna has a lead foot, apparently,” I said to that Grace.
“Lucille’s nanna is rich,” she said back.
“Lucille’s nanna is very, very rich,” I said. “She owns a big, giant house with a million rooms in it. And she lets Lucille’s whole entire family live there. ’Cause it is way too big for just one nanna.”
“Wow,” said that Grace.
“I know it is wow, Grace,” I said. “My nanna just owns a plain, old, regular house, and that’s it.”
That Grace did a sad sigh.
“My nanna just owns a condo in Florida,” she said.
Then me and that Grace looked at each other very glum.
“Our nannas are losers,” I said.
After that, we didn’t talk the rest of the trip.
Only guess what?
When we got to school, we saw the nanna’s big gold car! It was parked right in the parking lot!
Me and that Grace runned there speedy fast.
“Lucille! Lucille! It’s me! It’s Junie B. Jones! Plus also it’s that Grace! We are running to see your richie nanna!”
We opened the door and sticked our heads inside.
“Hi, Nanna!” I said.
“Hello, Nanna!” said that Grace.
The nanna looked surprised at us.
“Yeah, only you don’t even have to be afraid of us,” I said. “’Cause we know your grandgirl very good. Plus we won’t even harm you.”
Me and that Grace got in the back.
I rubbed my hand on the seat.
“Oooo! I love this rich velvety interior,” I told her.
I put my cheek on it.
“These seats are ooo-la-la, Nanna,” I said.
Lucille looked grouchy at me. “Don’t call her nanna! She’s my nanna! Not your nanna!”
“Lucille!” said the nanna very shocked. “What’s gotten into you? Your little friends are darling.”
“Yes, Lucille,” I said. “I am darling. Plus that Grace is darling. And so, back off. Right, Nanna?”
The nanna did a loud hoot of laughing.
“Hey! You are the friendliest nanna I ever saw!” I said. “And so maybe me and Grace can come see your richie house sometime.”
Lucille’s nanna did another loud hoot.
Then me and that Grace did loud hoots, too. And all of us kept on laughing and laughing.
Only not Lucille.
2/Excellent Work of Us
Lucille sits at my same table in Room Nine.
She kept on being mad at me. Only I don’t even know why.
“That is a lovely sweater you are wearing today, Lucille,” I said very pleasant.
She scooted her chair away from me.
I scooted next to her.
“Oooo. Is that sequins I see on the collar? ’Cause sequins are my favorite little, shiny, roundish beady things,” I told her.
I touched one of the sequins.
Lucille pushed my hand away.
I tickled her under the chin very friendly.
“Coochie-coochie-coo,” I said real fun.
Lucille turned her back to me.
I swinged her ponytail.
“Swingy, swingy, swingy,” I sang.
Just then, Lucille springed out of her chair.
“STOP TOUCHING ME!” she hollered right in my face.
My teacher hurried to my table speedy fast.
Her name is Mrs.
She has another name, too. But I just like Mrs. and that’s all.
I smiled at her very cute.
“Hello. How are you today? Me and Lucille are not even fighting. We are just having a loudish conservation.”
Mrs. looked funny at me.
“I think you mean conversation, Junie B.,” she said. “Conservation is when people save something.”
I tapped on my chin very thinking.
Then all of a sudden, I jumped up real excited.
“Yeah, only I do, Mrs.! I do save something!” I said. “I save that Grace a seat on the bus!”
I shouted across the room. “GRACE! HEY, GRACE! TELL MRS. HOW I SAVE YOU A SEAT ON THE BUS! ’CAUSE SHE THINKS I DON’T KNOW MY WORDS, APPARENTLY!”
That Grace shouted back. “SHE DOES, TEACHER! JUNIE B. SAVES ME A SEAT ON THE BUS EVERY SINGLE DAY!”
I smiled very proud. “See, Mrs.? I told you! I told you I save something!”
Mrs. stared at me a real long time.
Then she closed her eyes.
And she said she needs a vacation.
Pretty soon, the bell rang for recess.
Lucille didn’t even wait for me and Grace. She runned right out the door without us.
That is how come we had to chase that girl down and surround her.
I made my voice very growly.
“I am at the end of my string with you, madam!” I said. “How come you keep being mad at us? ’Cause me and Grace didn’t even do anything to you!”
Lucille stamped her foot.
“Yes, you did! You ruined everything! I was begging my nanna for a little white poodle! And she was almost going to say yes! And then you guys got in my back seat! And now everything is ruined!”
I did a huffy breath at her.
“Yeah, only that is not even our fault, Lucille! ’Cause we didn’t know you were begging! We just wanted to see your richie nanna, and that’s all!”
“I don’t care!” said Lucille. “You should have stayed away! You guys have your own nannas!”
Just then, me and that Grace got very glum again.
“I know we have nannas, Lucille,” I said. “But they are not richie nannas like yours.”
That Grace hanged her head.
“Our nannas are just regular nannas,” she said.
“They are duds,” I said real soft.
After that, Lucille acted nicer to us.
Just then, I smiled real big. ’Cause a great idea popped in my head, that’s why! It came right out of thin hair!
“Lucille! Hey, Lucille! Maybe me and Grace can come to your nanna’s house! And we can help you beg for a poodle!”
I danced all around.
“And here is another great idea! Maybe we can even spend the night, possibly! ’Cause me and Grace never even saw a richie house before! Plus that way we can beg for your poodle the whole entire evening!”
All of a sudden, that Grace started dancing all around, too. “When can we come? When can we come?” she asked.
I clapped my hands very thrilled.
“I am available on Saturday, I believe!” I said.
“Me, too! I am available on Saturday, too!” said that Grace.
Lucille thought and thought.
“Hmm. I don’t know about Saturday,” she said. “My mommy and daddy and brother are going away for the weekend. So it’s just going to be my nanna and me.”
I jumped up and down.
“Hurray!” I said. “That will work out even better! ’Cause now we can beg your nanna with positively no interruptions!”
Just then, Lucille started to smile.
“Hey, yeah! Why didn’t I think of that?” she said.
I pointed at myself.
“’Cause I’m the brains of this outfit, that’s why!” I said real happy.
After that, all of us skipped around and around.
Plus me and that Grace did a high five.
’CAUSE WE WERE ON OUR WAY TO THE NANNA’S, OF COURSE!!!
3/The Rules
Guess what!!?! Guess what!!?!
On Friday, Lucille’s nanna called my mother!
And she invited me to spend the night with Lucille on Saturday!
And Mother didn’t even say no!
My feet zoomed all around the house when I heard that!
“I’M SPENDIN’ THE NIGHT! I’M SPENDIN’ THE NIGHT! I’M SPENDIN’ THE NIGHT!” I shouted.
I zoomed into my baby brother Ollie’s room.
“HEY, OLLIE! I’M SPENDIN’ THE NIGHT! I’M SPENDIN’ THE NIGHT! I’M SPENDIN’ THE—”
Just then, Mother runned in the door and she swished me right out of there.
It was not pleasant.
I brushed myself off.
“Yeah, only you shouldn’t actually swish people,” I said kind of quiet.
Mother raised her voice at me.
“How many times, Junie B.? How many times have I told you to stay out of Ollie’s room while he’s sleeping? Huh? How many?”
I thinked for a minute.
“A million bazillion,” I said. “But that is just a ballpark figure.”
Mother glared at me very mad.
I rocked back and forth on my feet.
“A ballpark figure is when you don’t know the actual figure. And so you make up a figure. ’Cause that will get people off your back,” I explained. “My boyfriend named Ricardo told me that. His father sells insurance, I believe.”
Mother tapped her angry foot.
“We are not talking about Ricardo’s father, Junie B. We are talking about going into Ollie’s room while he’s sleeping. And besides, I haven’t said that you could spend the night at Lucille’s. I want to talk it over with your father first.”
I hugged her leg.
“Please, Mother? Please? Please? I’ll be good. I promise, I promise, I—”
Just then, the front door opened.
It was my Daddy!
He was home from work!
I runned to him like a speedy rocket.
Then I hugged his leg, too. And he couldn’t even shake me off.
“I’ll be good, Daddy! I promise! I promise! I promise!”
All of a sudden, Mother swished me away again. She put me down in the living room.
Then she and Daddy did whispering in the hall.
And guess what?
They said I could go to Lucille’s!!!
“YIPPEE! YIPPEE! YIPPEE!” I shouted.
After that, I started to zoom some more. But Daddy quick grabbed me by my belt.
“Yeah, only here’s the problem. I’m not actually zooming,” I told him.
“No…here’s the problem,” said Daddy. “Before you spend the night with Lucille, you have to agree to the rules.”
I raised up my eyebrows.
“Rules?” I asked. “There’s rules involved?”
“Lots of rules,” said Daddy.
Then he and Mother bended down next to me. And they told me the rules of spending the night.
They are: No running, no jumping, no shouting, no squealing, no hollering, no snooping, no spying, no arguing, no fighting, no cheating at games, no talking back to the nanna, no breaking other people’s toys, no grumping, no crying, no fibbing, no tickling people when they say no, no staying up late, and absolutely no head-butting.
After I heard the rules, I did a sigh.
“Yeah, only that doesn’t actually leave me much to work with,” I said.
Mother ruffled my hair.
“Sorry, kiddo. But that’s the deal,” she said. “Take it or leave it.”
“Take it!” I shouted out. “I’ll take the deal!”
Then I kissed Mother and Daddy on their cheeks.
And I hugged them very tight.
And they couldn’t shake me off again.
4/Packing My Bags
The next morning was Saturday.
I jumped out of bed and runned to the kitchen.
Then I got a big, giant plastic bag. And I runned back to my room to pack for Lucille’s.
First, I packed my favorite pillow. Then I packed my pajamas and my bathrobe and my slippers that look like bunnies. Also, I packed my blanket and my sheets and a small, attractive throw rug.
Finally, I packed my stuffed elephant named Philip Johnny Bob.
He looked up at me from inside the bag. Yeah, only here’s the problem, he said. You’re not actually supposed to put me in a plastic bag. ’Cause I could suffercate in this thing.
My eyes got big and wide.
“Oh no!” I said real upset. “I forgot about that!”
That’s how come I quick got my scissors and cut air holes for that guy.
Philip Johnny Bob sniffed the air. Better, he said.
I petted his trunk. Then I went into the family room. And I watched cartoons till Mother got up.
Pretty soon, I heard her slippers in the hall.
“MOTHER! MOTHER! I’M ALL READY!” I said. “I’M ALL READY TO GO TO LUCILLE’S!”
I pulled Mother into my room and showed her my plastic bag.
Mother shook her head. “Waaaay too much stuff,” she said.
Then she got a teeny suitcase from the shelf. And she packed my pajamas and my slippers and my robe and my toothbrush.
After that, she got a sleeping bag from her closet. And she put my pillow on top of it.
“There. That’s all you’ll need. You’re all set,” she said.
I springed into the air.
“ALL SET!” I hollered real joyful. “JUNIE B. JONES IS ALL SET FOR LUCILLE’S!”
After that, I quick grabbed Philip Johnny Bob. And I dragged my stuff to the front door.
“ALL RIGHTIE! LET’S BE ON OUR WAY!” I shouted very excited.
Mother was in baby Ollie’s room. She didn’t come.
“OKIE DOKE! I’M GOING OUTSIDE NOW! JUNIE B. JONES IS GOING OUTSIDE TO GET IN THE CAR!” I shouted louder.
Just then, Mother runned to get me.
“No, Junie B.! No! I’m not taking you to Lucille’s, remember? Lucille’s nanna is picking you up at three o’clock. I told you that. I’m sure I did.”
All of a sudden, my shoulders got very slumping. ’Cause I didn’t actually remember that information, that’s why
.
“Darn it,” I said very sad. “Three o’clock takes forever.”
After that, I slumped to the table and ate my breakfast.
Then I sat on my front step.
And I swinged on my swings.
And I read some books.
And I ate a cheese sandwich.
And I counted to a million bazillion.
And I sat on my step some more.
And then guess what?
Three o’clock finally came!
I saw the big gold car in my driveway!
“HEY! SHE’S HERE! SHE’S HERE! SHE’S HERE!” I yelled real thrilled.
Mother and Daddy hurried to the door.
“Are you ready to go?” said Mother.
“READY!” I yelled. “JUNIE B. JONES IS READY TO GO!”
The richie nanna got out of her car.
I throwed my arms around her.
“HELLO, NANNA! HELLO! HELLO! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU THE WHOLE LIVELONG DAY!”
Mother pulled me off of that woman.
“Sorry,” she said. “I’m afraid Junie B. has a little extra energy in her. She’s been sitting on the step for hours.”
I leaped way high in the air.
“SITTING ON THE STEP!” I said. “JUNIE B. JONES HAS BEEN SITTING ON THE STEP!”
Daddy and Mother carried my things to the big gold Cattle Act.
And guess what? When they opened the door, Lucille and that Grace were already in the backseat!
“LUCILLE! GRACE! I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW YOU WERE ALREADY HERE! AND SO THIS IS A DELIGHTFUL SURPRISE!”
I reached inside to try to tickle them. But Mother pulled my hand away.
“Please, Junie B. Don’t start,” she said.
I saluted her.
“Aye, aye, Captain,” I said real hilarious.
After that, I got in the car and I bounced on the softie seat.
Only too bad for me. ’Cause I accidentally bounced too high. And I banged my head on the roof.
The nanna did a gasp.
I patted her.
“Yeah, only that didn’t even faze me,” I said.
After that, I buckled up my seat belt.
And I waved good-bye to Mother and Daddy.
And the nanna drove us away.
5/Going to the Ball
Lucille was sitting in the middle.
She whispered real quiet to me and that Grace.
