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Mist

Ayesha khan


Mist

  Collection of short poems

  Ayesha khan

  Copyright 

  Mist

  Ayesha Khan

  Copyright Ayesha Khan 2014

  Dedication

  I dedicate my book to my son abaan .

  Chapters

  Ambition

  Black

  The Cat

  Yellow Flowers

  Void

  I Still Care

  Come Back

  Who am I

  I am

  Light

  My Son My World

  Love

  Simply Love

  True Love

  Someday

  Violence

  Beauty is ...

  Satisfaction

  Imperfection

  The Rain Patter

  Winning Moment

  Waves

  My Father's Death

  Deep Down

  My Pet

  My Ambition

  I Love Today

  I Miss You

  Beauty

  Fusion

  Together Again

  Real

  Fear

  Trees

  I Love Animals

  Bird Song

  Ambition

  Today is a day which is different.

  Yet I feel like sulking

  Something within tries to turn inside out..

  Deep inside me I feel this nameless urge to explode,

  To become free from these fetters of bondage.

  I try to console but it is hard to control..

  I try keep calm but it is not ready to listen.

  The feeling is inexplicably wild and it rages up and

  down inside and out.

  The feeling is bitter the silence the void the vacuum the unexpressed desire is engulfing every bit of my being.

  Dark seems the light

  Dark are the days.

  Dark as if it has been always.

  Together I place the pieces of my torn dreams ..

  Together I place the feathers of my broken wings and thus slowly and

  silently the raging feeling sinks.

  Black

  The stone ; hill and fish the water rocks and net, the air

  the silence and the

  boat...

  The rustling leaves the palms and the brows are dull dark

  and black.

  Heavy is the air cold are the feet, something deep down

  in your eyes

  Is lost and dark and sad.

  Down the road of memory something nostalgic

  surrounds me...

  Blackness of the night speaks

  Talking and rushing are the waves of sea, down under

  your temple,

  I sense a line of pain and nostalgia surrounds my whole

  being.

  Let me listen ; let me see; let me feel this agony,

  Let me touch the shadows of the time gone by

  Let me hold the rushing waves and call them back...

  But all I see around and far away is the shimmering and

  seething sea which

  is BLACK.

  The Cat

  The impregnable beauty the calmness the sullen silence

  around.

  It is hard to believe it is a living being .

  The majestic yet reckless gait ; the watchful eyes, the

  beauty that

  reverberates.

  The overwhelming power to understand a friend from a

  foe.

  The swiftness the concentration the eye to detail ...

  The green and sparkling eyes the cushioned paws , the

  brutal yet serene

  look .

  Is simply beautiful.

  The light and dark stripes and the pruned fur and the

  unspoken boldness

  makes it a perfect picture to behold.

  Yet the creature succumbs too .

  To love and care ...

  And the other side of the coin shows up.

  Yellow flowers

  I look back 

  Feel refreshed 

  Small puffy balls 

  Light as air . 

  Coloured petals 

  Beautiful shapes 

  Scattered aroma 

  The ' perfect sketch ' . 

  Singed leaves 

  Loaded tree 

  Dancing branches 

  Of green leaves . 

  My tall stiff 

  Arrogant tree . 

  The yellow flowers 

  In the flowing breeze. 

  Some flowers 

  Joyously dancing 

  High upon tree top 

  Some lying dead 

  Adorning brown mud 

  Bathing it in yellow hue 

  Some fresh and alive... 

  Some half dead 

  Some flowering from wet buds . 

  Some waving across 

  The spotless clear sky... 

  Some upright 

  Some drooping 

  Down in silent slumber 

  Oh..... ' my yellow flowers'. 

  Void

  The days seem dark the flowers seem ugly , 

  The sound seems sharp , the eyes are dry. 

  The agony the desperate struggle continues, 

  The hours seem long the mind seems complaining ...

  nothing is calm nor

  complacent. 

  TheThe time seems to stop , the pulse is feeble. 

  How could the smoke be so thick.... 

  To blur the light of joy. 

  How could you be so far away my friend that catching the

  twinkle of your

  eyes has become past . 

  Lost are the directions 

  Lost is the sanity.. 

  Lost are the small impressions of the times spent

  together. 

  Yet what does remain is the tree of longing.

  I Still Care

  I still care

  I still remember the day I first saw you...

  Its been a long time since we last met...

  You left without reason, you left without knowing how

  much I cared

  Days passed years went but the pain the despair the desire stays.

  I cried I prayed all in vain I groped in the dark and

  screamed out your name.

  You were cold and mute as ever

  Far and beyond my reach like the twinkling stars in the

  sinking night

  And the ship sailing far off from its harbour in the subtle

  hue of the twilight...

  I still dream I still care

  I still see feel you everywhere

  Come back once come back for a day

  Come back for me I still care...

  Come Back

  The days seem dark the nights are empty

  You seem oblivious to my presence

  Its been long since we shared our joys our feelings or got lost in our thoughts so pure and divine.

  You are here near me ....can't you see

  I may look good but am burning inside

  What happened to us that my world seems turned upside.

  Bring back the charm bring back the smiles come back and just never leave my side

  You are here but something's amiss

  Bring back the times

  Come back.

  Who Am I

  Just a tiny speck on this huge canvas or ,

  Something more...

  Just a flower that would whither soon...

  A song unsung

  Or a mountain peak bathed in sun.

  Am I soul am I a question or am I the lost hope...

  And
something more .

  I am the void , I am the pain

  I am the sky which will stay ...

  I am the distance apart...

  I am the mist of your moist eyes .

  I am your part

  Am I ?

  I Am

  Am I on a journey ,unknown; all alone

  Am I born anew and the consciousness

  within is older than the fossils

  Am I timid weak vulnerable or here to search feel try and accomplish what no one got close to before...

  I AM just a small wheel of the huge machine working incessantly miraculously...

  I AM close to or far apart from you

  the nothingness

  like the air you breathe...

  Nowhere to be found

  I AM the agony

  the quenching subtle rain

  And maybe the questions that remain.

  Light

  I feel it

  I can see it , it does heal .

  Beyond our galaxy and stars...

  There does exist its shine .

  Deep below our hard crust ,

  It has sheen and warmth ,

  It has spark it is fire ... it glitters like gold

  And indeed all of it is within our

  Soul.

  My Son My World

  As I glance back I feel elated ,

  By the thought of holding you ,

  Little thing which instantly transformed my world...

  Your toothless smile is the impetus for me and most beautiful sight to behold .

  I love you and have started loving life more.

  My life tends to revolve around my little Angel...

  Your beautiful eyes show the presence of God himself ...

  I cannot control the rush of love and emotions I have for you...

  Love

  Is beautiful

  Is like a quiet rain .

  Like a winged flight of ecstasy,

  It soothes it pricks .

  Is an unending ache

  It is hard to find...

  Harder to restrain.

  It trickles down our souls and soaks our mind .

  It is easy to judge from outside and simply hell inside.

  Love is astoundingly insane.

  It is a unfathomable abyss...

  A bitter confusion ,

  An utter mingled up jumbled up maze.

  Its beyond reason ,

  Frees us from fetters of narrow thinking .

  It is a mirage of beautiful souls...

  A rainbow that doesn't fade .

  Simply Love

  Smell of an earthen pot,

  Heat of the sun when its hot...

  The sweet pain of my fresh wound ,

  Sometimes the ticking clock.

  Ah the godly feeling within

  It's simply love.

  Sometimes the broken dreams

  And the distances in between ,

  The binding force

  The subtle hues

  The twilight and the floating moon.

  True Love

  True love is the shining sun

  It is the moon itself

  Is beautiful forever

  Higher than the clouds that float

  True love is a sea of emotions.

  An artist's masterpiece

  It is indestructible,

  Is concrete .

  It is in giving

  It is the agony the despair

  Gives the zeal to live life

  Is a coveted gift.

  Sometimes unrequited unconditional ...

  Is always divine.

  Someday

  Someday I will look up again in the sky and wonder

  And again I will smile

  And would miss sorely again , you being around.

  Someday will cry wrapped in your arms without you being around.

  Our eyes would meet and we would stay together.

  Someday again I will breathe fresh freedom

  And envy and be insecure and possessive.

  Someday our passion will burn

  ....devoured we will be in it forever.

  Someday.

  Violence

  Brother threatening life of ones own brother..

  Brutal and sense less and blood thirsty is the new generation

  Just as were their forefathers.

  There is nothing new it has been always there.

  Yet it seems illogical grotesque and should have been wiped out by now.

  As history says there has been no gain in this ugly mindless game.

  It is self defeating in all its forms.

  Atomic bombs , nuclear weapons, biological warfare are some of its many faces.

  And thousands of its fellows are resurrected each day.

  It is truly the weapon of the weak..

  It is hard to curb yet possible to defeat.

  And this is the one thing which incorporates all that is evil.....

  VIOLENCE.

  Beauty Is...

  in a mothers smile when she bids goodbye to her soldier.

  in the pining of a real lover.

  in the longing eyes of a tiger cub waiting endlessly for his wounded mother.

  in the pain and anguish of a fettered bird in a cage

  beauty is in the timid courage of little girl who tries to fight back all odds...

  beauty is in the smallest and simplest struggle of our lives .

  beauty is in forgiving in letting go in loving unconditionally

  beauty is in admiration of the trifles of our otherwise mechanical life... and also in our imperfections.

  Satisfaction

  A full meal

  An unexpected gift

  My sweethearts smile...

  Complete rest

  A soothing and intoxicating encounter

  A pat of appreciation

  Having fun with pals

  An enriching spiritual experience

  A good read

  And feeling to be one with nature

  Playing and toying

  Submerged in thoughts

  Or just being dreamy .

  Sweating and struggling

  Or just flying higher

  Smiling and crying

  And striving harder

  Sometimes........

  Gives satisfaction.

  Standing alone

  And being in a crowd

  Sometimes........

  Imperfection

  Forgetful and careless

  Sometimes lethargic and imperfect...

  Timid and submissive.

  Sweet and sour life goes on...

  Light verses dark and mingled

  Some scribbled notes and some lame excuses...

  Hey that's me the real me.

  The Rain Patter

  Right here

  Right now

  I hear your voice

  Deep within

  Reverberates again

  The despair the agony

  I swim in a sea of thoughts

  Endless and mundane

  Reckless and beyond all logic

  Am submerging in an unknown abyss of pain

  It is a circle you keep coming back and forth .....

  Like the rain

  And the darkness envelopes me

  Only to drown and rise again

  You and I are like the rain .......

  Resurrecting always.

  Winning Moment

  A true moment of ecstasy; a moment of glory .

  The spirit is lifted high the heart seems to fly .

  The routine unexpectedly becomes vibrant the dullness is replaced by color.

  The whole being seems light and is ready to take flight .

  The pleasure swells and I am enveloped in a rare kind of joy.

  It races in and out as if it defies to calm down...

  Waves

  Purple waters.... blue hue hills

&nb
sp; Mud laden brown wind

  Yellow sand..... silver leaves

  Some bright green grass,

  And black rocks.

  The wind blows and the leaves shiver

  Waves make the stones shimmer.

  Snails snuggle and shells wriggle

  Footprints are washed away by raging waves.

  The sand glistens and waves move to and fro.

  The tide rises like a wall the mind races all along.

  The sea roars and the mirror of calmness is shattered.

  The picture of the sun drowning into the wild water is bleak just as picturesque and serene.

  The cranes pierce the reposeful red sky

  Or the endless abyss of space.

  The spaces are great the distances mighty big

  The abyss never ending ; the height unattainable and thus the sight is resplendent.

  My Father's Death

  Numb .... torn

  Like betrayed by my god

  Pain and tears,

  My world fallen apart.

  My hero my friend

  My guardian my strength

  My smile my joy

  All bundled n entwined

  Courage and hope

  All shattered in a blow.

  Suddenly my castles of sand washed out.

  As if nothing was ever there.

  Sad lonely waiting tirelessly for my father ...

  Soul and body all drained out

  Love could now never bring him back

  Searching for ... why me punished for life.

  Deep Down

  Deep down and far around...

  Across the spaces and beyond the sky,

  Sink the commotion ; drown the noise

  Fill the void with placid feeling,

  Racing and throbbing the pain grows

  Wild and swift are the woes...

  Deep down and far around...

  The mist of sadness envelopes the mind

  The soul is possessed the heart heavy.

  And something is pressing it is hard to breathe.

  Let me exhale it is hard to bear...

  The wind is wild the shackles of reason chain the thoughts,

  The sense of captivity blurs the sight...

  The noise seems deafening.

  The danger seems impending.

  Suddenly the snake of desire raises its hood up ,

  As if the whole frustration has stood up.

  The heart pounds harder

  The mind waits endlessly for divine intervention.

  My Pet

  Deep golden; peaceful eyes ,

  Rich white fur ,

  An incessantly wagging tail

  A true bundle of joy.

  He was the fulcrum of our family's happiness.

  A rejuvenating tonic

  He was an inseparable part of our lives..... and still is