Karen's Haircut

  This book

  is in honor of the birth of

  Maxwell Joseph Lieb

  Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  1 The Ugly Duckling

  2 Little House, Big House

  3 Professor

  4 The Loose Tooth

  5 The Other Loose Tooth

  6 Hannie’s Wedding

  7 Waiting for Tuesday

  8 Karen’s Beauty Treatment

  9 The Bride of Frankenstein

  10 Tiffanie

  11 “No Way!”

  12 The New Karen

  13 Krystal

  14 Gazelle, Desirée, and Chantal

  15 The Big Kids

  16 Hannie’s Accident

  17 Scott and Hannie

  18 “I’m Sorry, Chandrelle”

  19 Hannie’s Wedding

  20 A Wedding for Karen?

  About the Author

  Also Available

  Copyright

  The Ugly Duckling

  “Oh, I am a lovely, lovely lady,” I sang.

  “Me, too,” said Nancy. “Would you like to have some tea?”

  “Why, certainly. Lovely ladies must always have tea in the afternoon.”

  I am Karen Brewer. I just turned seven years old. My friend Nancy Dawes is seven, too. Nancy lives next door to my mother’s house. She and I like to play lovely ladies and get dressed up. Nancy has pretty good dress-up clothes. So do I.

  It was a Friday afternoon. I was over at Nancy’s, and boy, were we dressed up. We were the loveliest of lovely ladies. We sat down to tea at the little table in Nancy’s room. We arranged her tea set. Nancy does not have any brothers or sisters. When she gets out her tea set, she does not have to worry about anyone messing it up. Over at my house, I have a little brother named Andrew. He is going on five. Sometimes he messes up my things.

  At our tea party that day, Nancy was wearing blue high-heeled shoes, a long white slip, a straw hat, and nine necklaces. I was wearing red high heels, a long blue blouse, an apron, and a bride’s veil.

  “Yum, this tea is certainly delicious,” I said.

  “Scrumptious,” added Nancy.

  “Well, thank you very much for having me to tea, Miss Dawes. I better be going. I have to do some shopping. I need nail polish and hair curlers.”

  “May I come with you, Miss Brewer?” asked Nancy. “I need nail polish and hair curlers, too.”

  “Why, of course you may come,” I replied.

  Nancy and I clomped through her house. Our high heels bumped along. We clomped into the living room.

  “What lovely ladies!” exclaimed Nancy’s mother.

  We clomped into the kitchen. We clomped down the hallway.

  “I think the store is in the bathroom,” I said.

  “Yes, I believe you are right,” replied Lovely Lady Nancy.

  So we clomped into the bathroom. I stopped in front of the standing long mirror. I looked at myself carefully. I was dressed up — but my clothes couldn’t hide my glasses. They couldn’t hide my two front teeth, either. Those teeth used to be smaller. Then they fell out. When the grown-up teeth came in, they were huge. They looked like rabbit teeth. Plus, two of my side teeth on the top were loose. I hate loose teeth. But when they come out, I hate the spaces they leave even more.

  “I wish I were prettier,” I said to Nancy.

  “What’s wrong with you?” she asked.

  “Well, just look at me. I’ve got glasses, rabbit teeth, and loose teeth.”

  “I think you look fine,” said Nancy.

  But I did not agree.

  I am an ugly duckling, I thought.

  Suddenly, lovely ladies did not seem like such a fun game. I did not feel like a lovely lady. I was glad when Mommy called and said I had to come home. It was time for Andrew and me to go to Daddy’s for the weekend.

  Little House, Big House

  I live at two houses — Mommy’s house and Daddy’s house. Both of them are in Stoneybrook, Connecticut. Why do I live at two houses? Because Mommy and Daddy are divorced. This is what happened: A long time ago, Mommy and Daddy decided they didn’t want to live together anymore. After the divorce, they each got married again. Mommy married Seth. She and Seth live in a little house, which is the way they like things. Daddy married Elizabeth, who has four children. They live in a big, huge house — a mansion. Daddy is a millionaire.

  Now Andrew and I live mostly with Mommy and Seth. But every other weekend, and for two weeks during the summer, we live with Daddy and his big family.

  Since Andrew and I go back and forth between the little house and the big house, we have two of almost everything — one at each house. We have bicycles at each house. I have a stuffed cat at each house. (One is named Goosie, the other is named Moosie.) I even ripped Tickly, my special blanket, in half so that I could have a piece at each house. With clothes and toys and other important things at each house, Andrew and I hardly have to pack at all when we go to Daddy’s.

  You know what else? I have a best friend at each house. My little-house best friend is Nancy. My big-house best friend is named Hannie Papadakis. She lives across the street from Daddy and one house down. Hannie and Nancy and I are all in Ms. Colman’s second-grade class at Stoneybrook Academy.

  Guess what I call Andrew and me. I call us two-twos. I am Karen Two-Two and Andrew is Andrew Two-Two. That’s because we have two of everything — mommies, daddies, friends, houses, and more. I got the name from a book Ms. Colman read to our class. It’s called Jacob Two-Two Meets the Hooded Fang.

  Here’s who lives at the little house besides Andrew and me: Mommy, Seth (my stepfather), Rocky, Midgie, and Emily Junior. Rocky is Seth’s cat. Midgie is his dog. Emily Junior is my rat. (You’ll find out who she’s named for in just a minute.)

  Here’s who lives at the big house besides Andrew and me: first of all, Daddy and Elizabeth (my stepmother) and Elizabeth’s kids (my stepbrothers and stepsister). They are Charlie and Sam, who are so old they’re in high school, David Michael, who is seven like me, and Kristy. I just love Kristy. She is one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. Kristy is thirteen and she babysits. She baby-sits for Andrew and me and lots of other kids. She baby-sits so much that she and her friends formed a business called the Baby-sitters Club. Kristy is the president.

  Second, Emily Michelle and Nannie live at the big house. Emily Michelle is two years old. She is my adopted sister. Daddy and Elizabeth adopted her. She came from a far, faraway country called Vietnam. And she’s the one I named my rat after. Nannie is my step-grandmother. I love her a lot, too. Nannie helps take care of Emily Michelle when everyone else is either at work or at school.

  Oh, yes. Shannon and Boo-Boo live at the big house, too. Shannon is David Michael’s puppy. Boo-Boo is Daddy’s fat, old cat. I don’t like him very much, and he doesn’t like anyone except Daddy and Shannon.

  Boo-Boo scratches and bites and hisses.

  Boo-Boo is the only bad thing about the big house, though. I just love going to Daddy’s. I like being with all those people. The big house is usually exciting.

  Maybe, I thought, I could forget about being an ugly duckling while I was at the big house.

  Professor

  When Mommy drops Andrew and me off at the big house on Fridays, she usually calls, “See you later, alligators!”

  Sometimes one of us answers, “After awhile, crocodile!”

  On this Friday I yelled, “Not if I see you first!”

  Mommy and Andrew and I laughed. Then Mommy waited in the car to see that we got inside Daddy’s house safely. When the front door opened, I waved to Mommy. She drove away. Andrew and I would see her again late Sunday afternoon when she picked us up.

  The person who had
opened the door was Kristy. Yea!

  “Hi, Kristy!” I cried.

  “Hi,” said Kristy with a grin. She let Andrew and me inside. She closed the door behind us. Then she gave us each a tight hug.

  Soon everyone in my whole big-house family had gathered in the hallway. There were Daddy, Elizabeth, Nannie, Charlie, Sam, David Michael, Emily Michelle, and, of course, Kristy. Even Shannon came in. She pressed her wet nose into my hand. Boo-Boo did not show up, but I didn’t care.

  Everyone was hugging and kissing. Daddy swept first me and then Andrew up into his arms. When he put me down, David Michael said cheerfully to me, “Hi, Professor!”

  He calls me that because of my glasses. “Professor” is not a mean nickname. It’s a nice one. David Michael is usually a pain, but sometimes he can be nice, and he was being nice when I first got my glasses and he said he thought they made me look smart — like a professor.

  But that night I did not want to look like a smart professor. I wanted to look gorgeous. I wanted someone to say, “Hi, beautiful,” to me. Only no one did.

  I was feeling like an ugly duckling again, but I did not tell anyone.

  * * *

  I just love evenings at the big house when everyone is home. Those evenings are so busy and noisy. That night we ate dinner at the long, long table. We need a long table since nine people have to sit at it. (Emily sits in a high chair.) Nannie had fixed chicken and salad and corn for supper.

  “You know what corn is, don’t you, Andrew?” said Sam.

  “A begetable,” replied Andrew proudly.

  “No. Corn is yellow teeth that have fallen out of old people’s mouths.”

  “Ew, gross!” cried Andrew. “Nannie, why are you making us eat old teeth?”

  “Sam is teasing you, honey,” said Nannie gently. Then she gave Sam a look.

  I tried to laugh, but I couldn’t. Even though the tooth joke was funny, all I could think about was being an ugly duckling.

  When dinner was over, I helped Daddy and Elizabeth clean up the kitchen. Then Andrew, David Michael, Emily Michelle, and I played hide-and-seek. I had to help Emily a lot. She does not understand the game. When it’s her turn to hide, she just sits and watches the rest of us.

  We had finished playing hide-and-seek when Hannie called.

  “Want to come over tomorrow?” she asked.

  “Sure!” I replied. “Thanks.”

  Soon it was time to go to bed. I brushed my teeth with Andrew and David Michael. Then I changed into my pajamas. Kristy read me a bedtime story about a fairy princess.

  I still felt like an ugly duckling.

  The Loose Tooth

  On Saturday morning I woke up slowly. I like to lie around in my bed and think. I hugged Moosie and Tickly and wondered what Hannie and I would do at her house that day.

  While I was wondering, I explored my mouth with my finger. There were those awful loose teeth. One of them was quite a bit looser than the other. I could push it way back and forth. It was almost ready to come out. What if it came out while I was eating and I swallowed it? Oh, ew. Yuck. I had to get rid of that tooth.

  I jumped out of bed, got dressed, and put on my glasses. I made my bed quickly. Then I ran downstairs. I was very nervous about that tooth.

  At breakfast, I tried to eat my cereal with one hand and hold the tooth in place with the other. It was difficult — and messy.

  “Karen!” said Elizabeth when she noticed. “What are you doing?”

  “Holding onto my tooth,” I told her. “I don’t want to swallow it.”

  “I don’t think you need to worry about that,” said Daddy.

  I wasn’t so sure.

  When breakfast was over, Sam said to me, “Karen, I can get your tooth out in a jiffy. I know lots of ways.”

  “You do?” I replied. Could I believe Sam? After all, he had told Andrew that corn kernels were old teeth.

  “Sure,” replied Sam. “I can yank it out with pliers.”

  “NO!” I cried.

  “Or you can hold onto the tooth, and I’ll pull your hand out of your mouth.”

  “NO!”

  “All right. There’s only one way left. I’ll tie a string around your tooth. Very carefully,” he added. “And I’ll tie the other end of the string to a doorknob. Then I’ll slam the door closed, and bam! Your tooth will come out. It will fly through the air on the string.”

  Well, that sounded pretty interesting. I had never seen one of my teeth fly through the air on a string.

  “Okay,” I told Sam. “You can tie my tooth up.”

  Sam got some string and a pair of scissors. Then we went to my room. I sat on my bed. It took awhile, but finally Sam tied the string around my loose tooth. Then he unrolled a long piece of string and cut it off. He tied the other end to the doorknob.

  “Now you stay right there,” said Sam, “while I slam the door.”

  “Is this going to hurt?” I asked.

  “Maybe just for a second.”

  Sam put his hand on the door. “Okay,” he said. “One … two …”

  “STOP!” I cried. “Forget it. I don’t want you to slam the door.”

  Sam took his hand away. “Are you sure?” he asked.

  I nodded.

  “Okay.” Sam untied my tooth. “Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck … CHICKEN!” he cried.

  I didn’t care. I told Daddy about my tooth. And you know what? Daddy got a Kleenex and pulled it out — just like that! It didn’t hurt a bit, but it did bleed a little. Elizabeth helped me rinse out my mouth with salty water.

  I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. Yuck. Now I had glasses, rabbit teeth, one loose tooth, and a hole in my mouth where the other tooth had been.

  Ugly duckling, ugly duckling, I thought.

  But at least I could leave my tooth under my pillow for the Tooth Fairy that night.

  The Other Loose Tooth

  It was time to go to Hannie’s house.

  I crossed the street carefully, ran across the Papadakises’ front lawn, and rang their doorbell.

  Hannie answered it.

  “Hi,” I said. “Notice anything different about me?” I grinned broadly.

  “Oh!” cried Hannie. “Your tooth finally came out.” She let me inside.

  “Yup,” I said. “And look how loose this one is.” I wiggled the other tooth back and forth with my tongue.

  “Ew,” said Hannie. “Gross.”

  I smiled. I was teasing Hannie. She doesn’t like loose teeth any more than I do.

  “Well,” said Hannie, “what do you want to do today?”

  “Let’s play tag!” I suggested. “We could get Andrew, David Michael, and Linny to play with us.” (Linny is Hannie’s older brother. He and David Michael are friends.)

  “Okay,” said Hannie.

  So we found the boys, and then we began running around Hannie’s backyard. Andrew was It first. He took forever tagging someone. Maybe that’s because his legs are shorter than anyone else’s.

  He finally caught Hannie. Then Hannie was It. Hannie tagged me.

  At last I was It. I love being It.

  I ran all over Hannie’s yard. First I went after Linny. I almost tagged him, but suddenly I changed my course. I turned around and ran after Hannie. Then I changed course again. This was to confuse everybody. When they were good and mixed up, I went after David Michael. Since he was sure that I would change direction, he wasn’t running very fast. But when he saw that I really was after him, he sped up.

  I sped up, too.

  I was running as fast as I’d ever run.

  I stretched out my hand. “Tag … you’re … It!” I cried. I stretched my arm out so far to tag him that I lost my balance and fell down.

  “Oof!” I said. Then, “Oh! Oh, no!” I had fallen on my mouth, and — yes, my tooth had come out. My other loose tooth was rattling around in my mouth. I don’t think it had been ready to come out, but it was out anyway.

  “What’s wrong?” cried Hannie. She ran over
to me. The boys crowded around, too.

  “I lost the other tooth,” I said. I spit it into my hand.

  My mouth was bleeding again.

  “Gross!” said Linny. “That is so disgusting.”

  But Hannie said, “Come on inside. Mommy will fix your mouth.”

  So Hannie and I went into the Papadakises’ kitchen, and Mrs. Papadakis patted at the empty space in my mouth with a Kleenex. Then she gave me a glass of salty water — just like Elizabeth had done — and I rinsed until there was no more blood.

  “Hey!” said Hannie. “Tonight you’ll put two teeth under your pillow for the Tooth Fairy. I wonder if you get anything special for losing two teeth in one day.”

  “Maybe,” I said. I wanted to go home. I had just peeked at myself in the bathroom mirror and I looked … like a freak. I had rabbit teeth, and gaps in my mouth everywhere, and my darn old glasses.

  I was the ugliest duckling of all.

  But I didn’t want to be a baby, so when Hannie said, “Let’s play tag again. The boys are still here,” I said, “Okay.”

  It was the last thing I wanted to do.

  Hannie’s Wedding

  The boys were still at the Papadakises’ all right, but guess what. They were tired of tag. They were in the driveway, pretending they were space invaders.

  “Grrrr. I am an alien,” said Andrew to Hannie and me. “I will eat you up.”

  “And I will blast you with my ray gun,” said Linny, pointing a stick at us.

  I looked at Hannie. She looked at me.

  “Let’s go to my room and play,” she said. (Hannie’s collection of dress-up clothes is almost as good as Nancy’s and mine.)

  “Yeah,” I said. I do not like playing space invaders.

  Plus, my mouth hurt.

  When we reached Hannie’s room, she opened a trunk. Her father had made the trunk especially for her. He had written HANNIE on top, and painted bears and balloons around the sides. In the trunk are old hats and shoes and gloves and dresses, plus a cowgirl suit, a ballerina’s tutu, and a police officer’s uniform.