Easy Way To Integral Calculus

` THE HIDDEN SORROW

  (A Story of Dedication)

  A LIVING AND AWAKEN NOVEL BY

  ANIMESH DEY

 

 

  ( ………………………………………………………..)

  ANIMESH DEY

 

  THE HIDDEN SORROW

 

  ( A Story of dedication )

 

 

  “Dedicated to my beloved Parents and my three elder brothers. ”

 

 

  “ IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO START SOMETHING NEW

 

  IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO FORGET SOMETHING

  IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO REBUILD A PAST.”

  ANIMESH DEY

 

 

 

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

 

  “ It is a small note to my societies. It is an advise to all my elders and

  younger and their parents. Yes, who am I! I am very common people like you. I am a living entity like you. I am watching our mistakes. So, it is a humble request and prayer to my all brothers and sisters and my friends that think a little bit for your self. Don’t fly yourself in the vacuum. Fly through a medium, so that you can breathe at least. Try to leave all fantasies, leave all violence’s, leave all sorrows and try to refresh your life. I don’t know even whether my words will ever work or not. It is very difficult to say. We cannot predict our tomorrow, so don’t laugh today. Flow your tears today, don’t store it for tomorrow. Laugh on tomorrow. It shall be your real joy, a real pleasure and a real peace. Don’t misuse your precious time by watching TV and with other fantasies. It has more value in your own life. Don’t move yourself by following others smile and style. Move with your own style. It will be very uncommon. The joys

  You are getting from some fantasies will lasts for a moment and it is that way which will try to dig yourself in dark. Expect more and more for your better future. Be a stable and an erect object at your own places and in others heart. Don’t allow dark rays to move inside your body. Try to stand against any thunderstorm. Try to stop the flow of tears in your life and save others. Don’t keep yourself back. Don’t lean yourself against all enemies. Don’t go back and try to move forward. Try to avoid those fruits, which you cannot digest. Try to check your Calendar by each day because the number of encircles goes on increasing. It will never wait for you and time will never listen your words. It is the most valuable and proudly word that does not listen your cry and will never checks your tears. Truly speaking, time is very cruel. So, try to live on the edge and try to live with sunshine and shine your beautiful life with us. ”

  Acknowledgements

  I am totally new in this world. We are moving with world fantasies without knowing the realities and our fortune. We do mistake always. Sometime we forget something that we can do something. We don’t want to face our troubles. Here I would like to thank ………………

  ……………, who gave me such an opportunity to do such a holy work?

  My mother Mrs. Anjali Dey, My father Mr. Gouranga Dey , My elder brothers Pintu, Kanti (Nanu), Samaresh (Sanu) for their constant support and blind support.

  My best friend Riya for her silent support. My salutation to her all supports.

  My friend Sweta (Payal), Lincoln Paul (Sunny), Jayanta Dey (Cousins), Moumita.

  Lastly my endless tears, which I ever counted to make it.

  It was my own experience in my last thirteen years Journey at a distant place, from my native town. It was the realities of your present life. I just want to say, “Everything is possible if we work hard.”

  We should always think positively. We should not ignore ourselves by saying that we are failure.

  Lastly, I would like to invite you all to

  “ THE HIDDEN SORROW”

 

  PART ONE

 

  Part # one

  “Normal life, normal people, least demand but we have always some needed expectation. How we can survive? But we forget, that there is a beautiful life behind all such demands. It was dark everywhere when I was feeling so innocent, felt everything around me had stopped moving and seemed I am alone on my way without knowing my destiny. It sounded so vacant when I looked to the sky; it seemed bird’s wings troubling them. I wanted to fly to wipe their tears. When their tears scattered over my body I felt very cold. We always fly to touch the sky. We never look our strength to fly, to touch the clouds. We are lazy to move because we are very demanding. It pains us more and more when we lose it.”

  “Yes Rishabh, You are absolutely right. But why are you saying such lines to me?”

  “It is because you have to listen my words today. Do you have a little moment to listen my words? I am very upset.”

  “Yes Rishabh, you can proceed.” Neelon replied.

  “Who will help him? You not, me not and no one not. How can he survive? How can he taste all fruits? He is asking me and he is asking you all guys. We should move to help him. Why are you differentiating cast and communities? Who told him about the Variation? He is innocent and he knows nothing. Can we fight among us saying, he is mine, he is yours, he is ours.”

  “See Neelon, he is for himself and truly speaking, he knows himself well and no one is for him.”

  A stranger was listening their conversations….

  “Don’t argue dears, I am alone, I am for thyself because he who sent me, taught me not to fight with any living and non living entities. It is our mistake; we should understand his power, his kindness and his strength. He will never forget you all and if you once mistake by your own virtue he will never forgive you all.”

  But dears, I always asks our almighty, “Why I am seeing all to beg? Why not you giving a soft heart in all we human beings. Oh Almighty! Why are you differentiating and creating such translucent barriers among your children’s. Make me a beggar who can say at least that he is innocent, who can at least realize the taste the nature of life. We, who demanded least, can never argue and we can walk with all situations what he is planned for us. Why not you people doing the same? Why are you expecting more and more rather to develop yourself, your environment, and people surrounding you and your nation? Why you people think of yourself only? Why you people don’t want to make any hand-to-hand relationship with we people? You people are going to forget one thing that we are from the same origin. ”

  “Why are you saying such things? Who are you? What’s your identity? ” Rishabh was asking to that stranger.

  “Yes, you are right. You are right to the way of conversations. Even I don’t know, who am I?” That stranger replied.

  Both Neelon and Rishabh were so shocked and were asking to that stranger, “Please let us know first, who you are? We are respecting you and your tongue. Please.”

  “See dears, I am not a man of honor. I have no expectation, better you can ask one who sent sent me and let me know why you people treat us like a slave in spite of grasping, adoring and walk by hand. You people never tried to give us a smile and roof,” that stranger replied.

  “You both friends are looking so upset. What happen? ” That stranger commented on them.

&
nbsp; “Nothing dear, we are fine and we are the happiest guys.” Both Neelon and Rishabh jointly replied.

  “But, I am observing a dark shadow, wipe yours tear, why you both? ……………………..” that stranger replied.

  “No No, we are fine and happy,” Both Rishabh and Neelon replied.

  “You are telling a lie,” That stranger commented.

  “Are you Neelon? I mean your name,” That stranger asked to Neelon.

  “Yes you are!” Neelon replied.

  “See by me, you are a stranger but as a human being, I respect all classes and I maintain no differences. You are asking and anxious to know why I am upset but by me, I am the happiest fellow,” Neelon replied mildly.

  “I was walking alone, someone caught my hand for sometime and left me alone, I can realize her warm hands and feel her absence. It makes me warm. Was it my illusion? I was thinking about our lord while I was standing at the railway station and noticed some beggars were crying by their empty stomach and with their cloth less eyes,” Neelon was explaining with his sorrow eyes.

  “Neelon, your words were little bit tough to understand. Let me clear………” Rishabh requested to Neelon.

  “Yes Rishabh, you are right. My words were simple and now it is being tough. It is tough to understand someone’s feelings. Don’t think about myself as a proudly. I like my simplicity character,” Neelon said.

  “Could you please tell me, what is on your mind?” Rishabh asked to Neelon.

  “But why you want to listen?” Neelon asked.

  “Nothing, just for the sake of friendship,” Rishabh requested to Neelon.

  “Please, let me cry, let me lay down on the hottest desert and let the desert be myself and let it be with my heart and with my soul. So it can fill me at least. It can give me a warm sensation and I can feel myself as broad as I am the owner of this desert and let me go into my mother’s womb where I can get my love and a care, where I can feel the world is very beautiful and sweet, where every relation will become true and new and where I can learn newly about the world.

  It can fill my empty heart,” Neelon was explaining something.

  “But why are you saying that you are empty hearted? ” Rishabh asked to Neelon.

  “Yes, I am an empty hearted boy because I got everywhere is vacant. It was looking so deserted that there was an empty sound all around myself. A sound where my some one is not roaring about my mistakes. Someone showing me the right way. ” Neelon replied.

  Rishabh said to Neelon, “Brother if you don’t mind then can I ask something to you? But, I am not sure whether it will hurt you or not. I already asked myself several times but my mind and my heart is still unanswered.”

  “It’s fine brother. You can ask me anything,” Neelon replied.

  “Did you love someone? Or have you any someone dear? ”

  Rishabh asked to Neelon.

  “Yes, I love not someone but love many one. I am here in this cosmos for many ones. I hope you will never understand it properly. I was simply late myself to get someone’s smile and someone’s hands. My someone is far apart from me. I saw her crying face with shiny tears. I was watching her by all her moments and was feeling to come down to pull her back with me but, it was too heavy and there was none to pull us back too………………………………….. ”Neelon replied with his onion smile.

  “Please explain it more,” both Rishabh and that stranger jointly replied.

  “It was just like a thunder storm, striking repeatedly. It was me, who can realize the moments and my pains certainly but I was silently searching her alone with some hope and a smile but I did not find any one to suggest me and help me.” Neelon replied to both of them.

  Neelon was saying himself; “She was looking at me with her helpless eyes. I realized her all pains. I realized what was going on her mind when we both approached after an era of our relationship. Something was going with my mind. For a fraction of time, my breathing was becoming high, as I am crossing over the seashore and wanted to move like thunder. I was crossed her shadow and was unable to look back myself in front of her but she was looking at me. I can realize her all words. ”

  “But who was she?” Risahbh asked to Neelon.

  Unanswering to Rishabh’s question, “Why you have hidden yourself under the beneath of ocean. It was so deep. I have searched you everywhere around our world. Why I was not finding the exact place? Now you are so far to realize. I am burning myself under the beneath of ocean to keep myself cold……….still it is burning but I got everywhere dark only. I took the hand of sun and we together searched you but we did not find you out anywhere. I was realized you in the flying ocean and in mild winds, it seemed mountains were flying everywhere; they were shouting upon me and feeling I am warm alone. It’s my warm greeting to you………………..stand by my side and let me free to fly with wind.”

  “But brother, you are still hiding………….. We are eagerly waiting for your words. Do you love someone? ” Rishabh asked to Neelon.

 

 

  PART TWO

 

  PART # TWO

  “But brother, your words are words are being tough to me. Let me understand it properly,” Rishabh requested to Neelon.

  “Let him explain Rishabh,” That stranger replied.