Secret Service; or Recollections of a City Detective

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  SECRET SERVICE

  OR

  RECOLLECTIONS

  OF A

  CITY DETECTIVE

  BY ANDREW FORRESTER, JUN.

  AUTHOR OF "THE PRIVATE DETECTIVE"

  NEVER BEFORE PUBLISHED

  LONDON

  WARD AND LOCK

  158 FLEET STREET

  MDCCCLXIV

  [_All Rights are reserved_]

  LONDON:ROBSON AND LEVEY, PRINTERS, GREAT NEW STREET,FETTER LANE.

  CONTENTS.

  PAGE

  MY GREAT ELECTIONEERING TRICK 1

  MISTAKEN IDENTITY 35

  AN UNSCRUPULOUS WOMAN 50

  THE INCENDIARY GANG 60

  A RAILWAY ACCIDENT? 108

  A PATRIOTIC BARBER IN FAULT 122

  A ROMANCE OF SOCIAL LIFE 136

  THE VIRTUE OF AN AMERICAN PASSPORT 171

  WHO WAS THE GREATEST CRIMINAL? 184

  A GRAND RAILWAY "PLANT" 208

  AN EPISODE OF CRIMINAL JUSTICE 231

  THE WORKHOUSE DOCTOR 242

  THE MISSING WILL 261

  THE DUKE'S MYSTERY 270

  THE ATTORNEY AND THE SMUGGLER 280

  SWINDLING ACCORDING TO ACT OF PARLIAMENT 289

  MATRIMONIAL ESPIONAGE 303

  SECRET SERVICE

  OR

  Recollections of a City Detective

  MY GREAT ELECTIONEERING TRICK.

  About twelve years ago there was an election anticipated in the Boroughof N----. It was a notorious place for bribery, as I, who have beenprofessionally concerned in many elections, perfectly well knew. It wasan extraordinary town. It had once been a very flourishing place. Astaple trade had been carried on there, and almost nowhere else; but anevil spirit of gentility pervaded its corporation in those days.

  The genius of two or three well-known men would have taken advantage ofthe neutral position and prospects of that spot and its neighbourhood tofound there a new industry, and give employment to an immense populationof skilled artisans. The labour of these people, however, could only beset to work and supplemented by smoke. The mayor and town-council ofN----, acting in the supposed interest of its inhabitants, determinedthey would have no smoky chimneys within their town. An Act ofParliament had been obtained sanctioning such municipal regulations asenabled these wiseacres to keep out the threatened innovation ofgold-producing smoke. The new industry had, therefore, to settle down inthe neighbourhood beyond municipal control. After this achievement hadbeen successful, the surrounding district went on rapidly increasing inprosperity until it reached its present exalted position in thatrespect, and the trade of N---- went on diminishing to its presentabject or exhausted condition. Meanwhile, also, the stage-coaches, whichran continuously through its streets--for N---- was on the greatnorthern line of turnpike-road--dropping in their course a modicum ofwealth for the inhabitants, were themselves put down by the unequalcompetition of a trunk railway; so that N---- became in course of timewhat it now is--a clean, shabby, pretentious, and poverty-strickenplace. Stagnation amid activity distinguishes it. The grass grows in itsHigh Street and Market-place. The remnant of independent people--thatis, people who have a pecuniary independence--show airs, and walk aboutthe neighbourhood under the belief that they are thought to be and aresuperior beings. The inhabitants who are not in this sense independentare craven, humiliated, impoverished, and corrupt. Yet N---- is aparliamentary borough; and, consequently, its present dilapidated,forlorn position supplies a fine opportunity for adventurouspoliticians--whether with or without brains, no matter--who have heavypurses, skilful agents, and good machinery at their command.

  Before I describe the special incidents of the case I am about to laybefore the reader, let me supply some further particulars about theelectoral conscience of this extraordinary old town. It has threeclasses of voters, who have been classified by a well-known Conservativeelectioneering agent (an attorney residing there); and a similar, orrather obverse, classification has no doubt been made by the other side.In the first list or classification are the really true and honestelectors, men who would resent as an insult the offered bribe, sterling,worthy fellows, who would resist almost, or perhaps quite, to the deathany attempt to coerce them to vote otherwise than as their consciencesdirected.

  There is another list or classification of men who are inclined towardsConservatism (as, perhaps, some sardonic reader will suggest, every bodyin an old place like N---- ought to be); and these men will take half asmuch from the real supporter of our venerable institutions as they canget from some mushroom pursy adventurer professing ultra-Radicalprinciples, who desires to make a market of his political influence, oris perhaps anxious to satisfy the cravings for distinction of his wifeby getting himself as her marital adjunct returned to Parliament, andprivileged to wear M.P. after his name.

  The third list or classification embraces those electors who have nopolitical principles, or character, or conscience whatever. These arefellows who want as much from Conservative as from Radical or from Whig.They are the scum and refuse, or dregs, of political life; and this foulelement of the political existence at N---- is by no means the smallerportion of the three classifications.

  The operator, or agent, as he likes to be called,--although, aspolice-magistrates and all other people dealing with crime are aware,the title "agent" is complimentary,--knows precisely with what materialhe has to deal. He "plays his cards," as he sometimes describes hisanxious labours, accordingly; and is only liable to one derangement. Itis said that honesty and good faith towards one another ischaracteristic of thief-life. I have, in a former volume, shown thatnotion to be a fallacy. Politicians supply an additional proof of theaccuracy of my statement.

  When the operator or agent has--say, two days before the election--madeall his arrangements for voting, and feels quite confident that, as therepresentative of Mr. Heavy Purse, his candidate,--a gentleman whorejoices in a retiring forehead, thick neck, small brain, a littletalker and smaller doer, who has no political character, principle,sentiment, or notion whatever,--he has made it all right by virtue ofthe money already dropped, and the vastly larger amount promised, hegoes to sleep in his downy, well-curtained bed at the Dodo, charged tothe brim with rosy wine and deep spiritual potations, only to beawakened in the morning by a vigilant subordinate, who informs him thatshortly before the witching hour over night there came into N---- apost-chaise or a "trap" with four horses, which did not seem fatigued bythe length of their journey, for they had only come from Z----, but werethe drawers of a load on the floor of the carriage, which hinderedtheir movement and might have sacrificed their character for speed. Theoperator or agent knows that some wealthy political speculator hasarrived with a good round sum in golden sovereigns. He does not thinkthe affair so cleverly planned as it might have been, and would seem tohave been on the first blush, but still he is a little tremulous,because he knows that the problem of success may be most easily resolvedby the hand which can ply the largest, or heaviest, golden solvent. Heknows that the magic of gold nowhere exercises a more potent influenceover the soul than at N----; and he would alr
eady feel inclined to giveup the contest if he could be sure that the new arrival had a largepreponderance of gold over his own man. Notwithstanding the fact that hethinks his candidate a superior man, and one that the constituency, ifit could be made honest, would be sure to like; and notwithstanding,also, that he has had the start of three weeks in canvassing, and gotthe promises of a considerable majority of electors over thecomparatively needy Liberal candidate, who has been hitherto opposed toMr. Heavy Purse,--the third arrival disquiets the operator.

  One other remarkable fact I discovered in this town. I hope the readerwill not be startled by it. I relate it as a truth. I state it as anundeniable proposition. I am open to be convinced if I am wrong; but ifI am right it is a thing to be laid before Parliament, as a greatargument in favour of something or against something else. Every factsurely leads up to an inference. Every truth has a moral. This fact Icommend to all whom it doth concern, and I declare it. It is this: therepresentation of N---- is usually determined by the brothel-keepers ofthe town. All the men who ever sat for that borough since the ReformBill passed have been returned by these despicable human creatures, whoderive means of sustaining their own existence out of the mostloathsome, although we are told incurable, evil. How do I prove my factand moral? the reader asks. Thus: when all the really honest electorshave been polled, the operators or agents exhaust the comparativelydecent section of the bribable part of the town, and the result of thewhole gives to the Conservative, it may be, a majority of four, or itmay be a majority to the Liberal of four, or it may be five, six, seven,eight, nine, ten, or eleven,--according to circumstances. We may supposethis to be late in the day. But there are still from twenty-three totwenty-five of the morally unclean ten-pound householders or burgessesin a particular street of N----, who regularly pay their rates and taxeswithin the date prescribed for exclusion from the register, and who are,therefore, duly-qualified voters. Neither Liberal nor Conservative willlose an election if he can help it. In the emergency of the time I speakof, the Liberal, finding himself in a minority of four, goes into StewStreet and buys up the twenty-three, four, or five occupiers of theseleprosy-distilling houses, and pays any price the occupiers think fit todemand. They are taken up to poll like free, independent, honest, andmoral electors. They turn the scale. They return the member. All therest has been a farce. Printing the addresses of rival candidates,engaging committee-rooms, every thing in the way of machinery orprinciple, up to the visit of the operator or agent in Stew Street, hasbeen useless. I hate shams. I detest mockeries. Why not leave StewStreet to return the gentleman or blackguard who is to be called M.P.for N----?

  Apropos to this, or by way of postscript to my moralising, let me informthe reader that a cabinet minister has been returned for N----, andthat, beyond all earthly doubt, Stew Street alone, or its voters, andthe cabinet minister's money, returned him to Parliament in the way Ihave pointed out.

  Well, as I have told the reader already, I saw the opportunity forgetting an engagement, so I went to somebody, who put himself intocommunication with somebody else--this gentleman, who for the presentmay be called Mr. Somebodyelse, having made a fortune in trade, andhaving a wife who had persuaded him that he was a remarkably cleverfellow, and that he ought to go into Parliament.

  Mr. Somebodyelse had no political principles. He had himself alwaysvoted, as an elector, just in the way that his largest customer hadrecommended; which largest customer, as if events happened by chance,had always been a Liberal. Somehow or other, Mrs. Somebodyelse got intoher feminine head that her spouse had herein gone on the wrong tack;that it was "not respectable" to be a Liberal; that the "highly genteelthing" was to stand by the Tories; and she therefore determined that,whenever her spouse went into Parliament, he should be a stanchConservative: to which he, like a fond husband, said, "I will." Thisdid not much matter to me. Mr. Somebodyelse would do for N---- and forme as well as any other man. I was not careful about political opinions,and therefore made no hesitation about rendering my services to him.

  It is always desirable to go through the usual forms. Occasionally,forms useless in themselves are made essential by custom. A man whocould write was therefore employed to write an Address for ourcandidate, and one or two fellows were also engaged to "cram" or "coach"him with speeches that he was to re-deliver. They were not very finespeeches. The oratory was, in my opinion, gassy, flowery, nonsensical;or, as the great Mr. Barnum would say, and I shall take the liberty ofsaying, they were "humbugeous."

  We went down from London direct to the borough. The party consisted ofmyself, my associate (who was the agent), an attorney, and thecandidate, whose name, address, and quality I had now ascertained. Thereader may now know this gentleman as Mr. Jollefat, a retiredtallow-melter or chandler, then residing at Melpomene Lodge, Clapham,and supposed to be a sleeping partner of "the old house" in which he hadskimmed the cauldrons of boiling tallow admirably for more than thirtyyears.

  On our arrival, we put out the address of our candidate. We started apersonal canvass. We did all that was usual except bribe--and the timehad hardly come for that--but all that we did only served to discourageevery body but me.

  My associate had told his candidate that he thought a couple ofthousand pounds or thereabouts would do, whereas I had told _him_ itwould cost five thousand pounds at least, but that he ought to beprepared with seven or eight thousand if he really meant to go in andwin. At N---- the candidate got to learn there was no chance for himwith two or even three thousand pounds. He was chapfallen, andtelegraphed to his wife, who came down in a sumptuous anonymity, which,to our annoyance, had more effect than the simple announcement of hername and her relationship to the candidate would have had.

  This lady, unlike the wife of Sir Baldpate Belly, under the likecircumstances, became presumptuous and impracticable. She said shethought that three thousand "goolden suvrins was a wery enormus sum." Itcost her good man a wery long time to make that 'ere sum of money; andalthough she did not mind his spending his money like a Briton or aprime-minister, she said she thought three thousand pounds ought tosatisfy every body, and if it didn't, why, she wouldn't go no further,and they might do as they could.

  Mrs. Jollefat also said that she liked to see her way sure before shebegan. If it could not be done for that price certain, why, she'd rathernot try it on at all. Three thousand "goolden suvrins," as she oftensaid, was a wery big sum of money, and it was not to be tossed into theThames. That is what they would say in London, and she meant it was notto be made ducks and drakes on.

  I was a little astonished, more especially when my associate boldly toldher that, upon his honour, he would do it for the money. Of course Icould not there and then contradict him, and in effect say he was ajolly humbug to let in a thrifty woman and her spouse in such a mode, soI held my peace until I got him alone. Then I protested. He replied,"Oh, gammon! make the old boy and girl spend. They won't do any goodwith their money if they don't drop it here; and, after all, rely uponit, I will make them shell out three or five thousand pounds more if itis wanted." I argued and expostulated; my associate was firm. He said,"We have gone too far into the matter to go back. We shall both of us beruined in our professions if we run away from the stake. I say, that wemust go in and win, and make the old boy pay."

  I have heard it said that "Necessity is the mother of invention." Ibelieve the proverb is familiar to most of my readers. I am going tosupply another illustration of it.

  I was oppressed in conscience about Mr. and Mrs. Jollefat and theirpurse for the rest of the day. I felt that we must go in and win, or wemust not go in at all, but must run away. Then my associate and partnerwould stick by the candidate, and perhaps really succeed in doing as hesaid must be done--that was, gladden the hearts of the candidate and hiswife by a triumph at the poll, and get the requisite amount of money topay him for the operation. About the former part of the business I wasnot at all certain; but if, on the other hand, he failed, which was morelikely, could I rid myself from the responsibility by merely withdra
wingat the present stage of affairs? I resolved to go on, and make the bestuse of the little legal knowledge I had obtained, so as to keep out ofharm's way. I was ultimately able to devise what I then thought, andstill think, my greatest Electioneering Trick.

  I took a stroll, in order to collect my thoughts; and after cudgellingmy brain for an hour or two, hit upon the following expedient, which Icarried out in the manner described.

  I hastened to London by a midnight train, took a cab from the EustonStation, and knocked up a clever fellow in my own line of business, whowas instructed by me, and who acted under my direction to the letter andspirit, so that the _ruse_ was, as the reader will see, entirelysuccessful. As far as I could, of course, I directly superintended thedetails of my scheme.

  Residing in the neighbourhood of Soho was a man of considerable ability,who, as I was informed, and have now good reasons for believing, couldtalk and write with great ease and facility. What his politicalprinciples were I do not know, nor did I then care about any more thanhe did himself. He was ready to accept the engagement which I offeredhim. For a price he agreed to become a third candidate for therepresentation of N----.

  My man--the new candidate--and I, after quitting the lodgings of theformer, went to an adjacent hostelry, where, having secured a privateroom, and called for pens, ink, and paper, cigars, and a bottle of wine,we concocted an address to "the free and independent electors" of theborough we were to humbug. This was taken to a printer, who, for alittle more than ordinary pay, got it into type, and printed off fivehundred copies within three hours.

  We next paid a visit to the shop of a well-known clothes-dealer not faroff, whose name has a flavour of Hebrew in its orthography, where ourcandidate got rigged out in admirable style; although at an expense, Ithink even now, a little extravagant. When thus costumed in the habit ofa gentleman, he really looked such; and with the influence of externalprosperity, and, I suppose, the magic of twenty sovereigns in his pocket(such a sum as he had not been in the enjoyment of, I fancy, for a verylong while), all the traces of want and dissipation left hiscountenance. He talked with additional volubility, and became soeloquent, that I really thought it a pity he was not the real instead ofthe sham aspirant for senatorial dignity.

  I plead guilty to a passing idea which then possessed me, and suggestedan odious comparison. I thought he would have fitted the character ofM.P. much better than our candidate Mr. Jollefat, whose jackal orprovider he really was.

  I next took our party to a restaurant in Regent Street, where I calledfor, and paid for, a sumptuous dinner.

  Over our wine suggestion and plot developed themselves grandly. I becameindebted for many valuable hints to my new chum and his clever friend.We smoked, and chatted, and afterwards strolled in St. James's Parkuntil the time began to arrive for our leaving Town.

  One other call had to be made at a trunk-maker's for two or three goodlyportmanteaus, which, although expense was not of much importance, Ipreferred to have second-hand, as I thought shabbiness, or at least asoiled appearance, would look better, as an accessory to the scheme orgreat trick we had already begun to play out.

  I should also tell the reader that I promised "the popular candidate" inembryo a bonus of fifty pounds if he played his part skilfully, and keptgood faith; but I gave him no security beyond my word (from which Inever departed in my life) for the fulfilment of my part of thecontract. Neither of us had then, or thereafter, to regret the manner inwhich it was executed and paid for.

  The portmanteaus were stocked from an outfitter's, a hosier's, aperfumer's, and other tradesmen.

  We also purchased a large, heavy, wooden box from a dealer inantiquities. It had huge steel clasps, and a ponderous lock. It lookedlike a thing designed for the keeping of treasure, and a thingcustomarily so employed. We filled this box.

  We then went to the printer's, where the copies of the placard we hadordered, and of which we had not thought it necessary to see a proof,were all worked off; and it looked, in clear bold type, fascinating tothe eye of each of us, but most charming of all it perhaps seemed to theman who embodied most of its unreality.

  It is astonishing how many excellent devices, and how many grandprojects and schemes of lofty usefulness, are marred by inattention todetail, or it may be the want of a single but essential ingredient. Thiswas nearly the case on the present occasion. My Great ElectioneeringTrick had almost failed from an oversight in its initiation. We had, upto this moment, retained no lawyer or attorney,--a most essentialfeature of such a plot as that we had engaged in. This omission wasdiscovered by me just in time to be filled up. We heard of anattorney--a low sort of fellow, I believe--who lived in theneighbourhood. I hired him, and sent him down with the other two to theborough of N---- that night.

  I parted company with my friends at the Euston Station. They proceeded alittle more than a hundred miles to the populous town of H---- byrailway, and there alighted. From this point the journey was performedin a lumbering post-chaise, as I had desired my party not on any accountto arrive at the town of N---- before twelve o'clock at night. Ipreferred that it should be a little after one in the morning, and Isuggested they might as well get up a little sensation on their arrival.This I told them might easily be done, by a pretended anxiety to keeptheir arrival dark and quiet.

  My instructions herein were obeyed, as I afterwards ascertained, withunerring exactness.

  There was, at a very short distance on the outside of the town, atoll-bar, always locked at night, and the keeper of which was notrenowned for his vigilance or wakefulness. The party found a trifle ofreal difficulty in gaining admission to the borough. It was some timebefore the man at the toll-house, rubbing his eyes, opened his littlewicket, and came forth to unlock the gate. As he did so, he was startledby the sight of a vehicle with three persons in it, and heavily laden.

  The man's sagacity penetrated, as he thought, the whole secret. Hewinked, and nodded, and grinned significantly. He saw in one of theparty another candidate for the franchise of the free and independentelectors; and in the other two his agents. His acute vision divedthrough the keyhole of that box, and there beheld a weight of gold,which he defined, in conversation next day, as "such a sight as he neversaw in his life before even at an election." My man kept up the delusionwell, by throwing two half-crowns to the fellow; and each of hiscompanions tossed a handful of small coin at him, as he closed the gateafter them.

  Away rolled, at a slow pace, the heavily-laden vehicle, the horsesthrobbing and panting, and the riders chuckling to their hearts'content.

  At length the town of N---- was reached. As quietly and mysteriously aspossible the vehicle was driven by the strangers, its occupants, up tothe hotel of our opponent; and, after ringing the bell, refusing toaccept the servants' answer, and insisting upon awakening the host, myman tried to strike a bargain with the hotel-keeper (putting him underconfidence) to let his house as the central committee-room of the"independent candidate." Boniface was proof against temptation. He hadlet his house to Mr. Sallow Twitch, the Whig candidate, and he was "nota-going to break his engagement--not he." He never had done such a thingin his life, and never would. They must go elsewhere, he said; and theinterview was closed by the irate landlord sheering off to bed, tellingthem he didn't want to have no more to do with them.

  Next the party went to the hotel where Mr. Jollefat was staying, and inwhich he held his quarters. A similar interview with Mr. Bung, at thatestablishment, ended not unlike the conference with Mr. Boniface.

  At last a solitary medieval-looking policeman was observed torpidlycreeping along the Market-place, and for a consideration he undertook,in the first place, to find the best quarters now available, and in thesecond to keep the arrival of his patrons as quiet and as solemn asdeath.

  It was unfortunate, he said, that they had come into the town so late,because the other parties had been in the field so long, and had got theregular start of them. However, there was a tidyish sort of a place,which had always been the head-quarters of a third can
didate; and, forhis own part, he did not think it much mattered, if the candidate was "aregular gentleman," which house he put up at. This shrewd policemanthought it would be all the same, if the candidate had about him friendswho knew their business.

  The policeman's advice was taken in the selection of a centralcommittee-room,--the Green Swan with Two Tails, which, let me confessand regret, was a comparatively humble place for head-quarters. Ishould have very much preferred the first hotel in the town; and if thathad been possible, I would have yielded up the place in which Mr.Jollefat was enthroned. However, as the sequel will show, this matterdid not influence the success of the _coup_.

  Without further loss of time--that is to say, early next morning--my manwent to work. The first person to whom, as the agent of the independentcandidate, he paid his addresses, was not the mayor of the town, nor thetown-clerk, nor an alderman, nor a town-councillor, but he was--abill-sticker.

  There consequently appeared upon the walls an address, which ran asfollows:

  "_To the Free and Independent Electors of the Borough of N----._

  "GENTLEMEN,--Your borough has too often been the arena of faction fights. You have been regarded as the supporters of Whig and Tory. Your grand historical traditions and your eminent public virtues have not been respected, cared for, understood, or apparently known to your representatives in Parliament, or even those who have hitherto aspired to the most honourable distinction of representing you in the Legislature.

  "Gentlemen, although a stranger among you, having resided many years abroad, and having but lately returned to my native country; having studied the political institutions of Europe and America, and seen them in practical operation; and having, moreover, read the history of your ancient town, which forms so many brilliant pages in the grand history of our native country; and having had the good fortune to inherit an ample estate,--I have resolved to place my services at the disposal of my country, with a special desire to serve the interests of a free and enlightened constituency, such as that of N----.

  "Gentlemen, under these circumstances I offer myself as a candidate at the forthcoming election for the representation of your borough; and although I shall immediately do myself the honour of waiting upon you individually, and canvassing each of you at his own fireside, I think it right to lay before you concisely a statement of my political principles.

  "Gentlemen, I am in favour of the broadest and most comprehensive scheme of reform which political philosophy can devise. If you should do me the honour to return me to Parliament (as I feel confident you will), I shall, by my speeches and votes, support every measure which tends to increase the happiness of the people, by extending the demand for labour, increasing the wages of industry, at the same time adding to the profits of capital, and promoting the comfort of every man, woman, and child throughout her Majesty's wide dominions.

  "Gentlemen, I am in favour of other measures of political and social amelioration which benefit all, but injure none, in their comprehensiveness and beneficence, that I find it impossible to properly explain, within the limit of a printed address, but upon which I shall have many opportunities to offer explanations when I meet you face to face in public meeting, in your own houses, and upon the hustings on the day of nomination.

  "Gentlemen,I have the honour to subscribe myself,Your very faithful and obedient servant,HORATIO MOUNT-STEPHEN FIPPS."