Torn

  “You should’ve told me,” I insisted.

  “They won’t kill him,” Tove said absently. He leaned forward, breathing on the glass and fogging it up.

  “Who?” I asked.

  “Loki. The Markis.” He traced a design in the fog, then rubbed it away with his elbow.

  “Elora says she’s going to try to-”

  “No, they can’t kill him,” Tove assured me and turned to face me. “Your mother is the only one powerful enough to hold him, aside from me and you.”

  “Wait, wait.” I held up my hand. “What do you mean nobody’s strong enough to hold him? I saw the guards contain him in the hall when he was captured. Duncan even helped bring him down.”

  “No, Vittra work differently than us.” Tove shook his head and sat down on the opposite end of the couch from me. “Our abilities lie in here–” He tapped the side of his head. “We can move objects with our minds or control the wind.”

  “Loki can knock people out with his mind, and the Vittra Queen can heal them,” I said.

  “The Vittra Queen has Trylle blood in her, back a generation or two in order for her to be Queen. Loki has our blood, actually,” Tove said. “His father used to be Trylle.”

  “Now he’s Vittra?” I asked, remembering what Elora had said about knowing Loki’s father.

  “He was for a while. Now he’s dead,” Tove said matter-of-factly.

  “What? Why?” I asked.

  “Treason.” Tove leaned forward, and using his mind, he lifted a vase up off a nearby table. I wanted to snap at him and tell him to pay attention, but that’s actually what he was trying to do.

  “We killed him?” I asked.

  “No. I believe he tried to defect back to Förening.” He bit his lip, concentrating as the vase floated in the air. “The Vittra killed him.”

  “Oh my gosh.” I leaned back on the couch. “Why would Loki support the Vittra still?”

  “I don’t know Loki, nor did I know his father.” The vase floated down, setting gently on the table. “I can’t tell you their reasoning for anything.”

  “How do you know this stuff?” I asked.

  “You would know it too, if it weren’t for the state of things.” Tove exhaled deeply, seeming calmer after moving the vase. “Its part of the training you’d be undergoing now, learning our history. But because of the attacks, it’s more important that you be prepared for battle.”

  “How do Vittra powers differ?” I asked, returning to the topic.

  “Strength.” He flexed his arm to demonstrate. “Physically, they’re unmatched. Even their minds are more impenetrable, which makes it harder for people like you and Elora to control them. It even makes it more difficult for me to move them. And like us, the more powerful the Vittra, the higher the ranking, so a Markis like Loki is awfully strong.”

  “But you threw Loki like he was nothing at the Vittra palace,” I reminded him.

  “I’ve been thinking about that.” His brow furrowed in confusion. “I think he let me.”

  “What do you mean? Why?”

  “I don’t know.” Tove shook his head. “Loki let me subdue him then, and he let them capture him here. Elora’s power over him is real, but the other guards…” He shook his head. “They don’t stand a chance against him.”

  “Why would he do that?” I asked.

  “I have no idea,” Tove admitted. “But he’s much stronger than all of us. Elora wouldn’t be able to hold him long enough for them to kill him.”

  “Could you?” I asked tentatively.

  “I believe so,” he nodded. “I mean, I’m capable, but I wouldn’t do it.”

  “Why not?” I asked.

  “I don’t think we should. He hasn’t done anything to hurt us, not really, and I want to see what he’s up to.” He shrugged, then glanced over at me. “And you don’t want me to.”

  “You would go against Elora’s wishes if I asked you to?” I asked, and he nodded. “Why? Why would you do something for me and not her?”

  “My loyalty lies with you, Princess,” Tove smiled. “I trust you, and other Trylle will learn to trust you, once they see what you can do.”

  “What can I do?” I asked, feeling oddly touched by Tove’s admission.

  “Lead us to peace,” he said with so much conviction, I didn’t want to argue with him.

  17. Numb

  After hearing what Tove had to say about Loki, I wanted to talk to him. He hadn’t been very forthcoming with me, but I had to know why he’d let me escape and let himself be captured. But, much to my disappointment, Loki’s guards had gotten stricter.

  Word of my talk with him had gotten out, and the guards decided they needed to work twice as hard to keep me away from Loki. Duncan had gotten his butt chewed for letting me see Loki at all, and when he finally returned to fulfill his duty as bodyguard, Duncan refused to let me go near him.

  I could’ve used persuasion on Duncan, but I’d already screwed up his brain so much practicing on him. I’d also sworn off using persuasion on anyone, but I hadn’t told Tove about it.

  Besides, it would be good for me to actually use my day off to relax. Tomorrow, I’d go back to training, and I could try to see Loki after that. I’m sure I could find a way around the guards without using persuasion on anybody.

  I didn’t spend much time by myself, though. Duncan escorted me to my room, and I’d barely been in it for five minutes when Rhys got home from school. He made a pizza and invited me over to his room for bad movies and relaxation with him, Matt, and Willa.

  Since I felt like I hadn’t spending enough time with any of them, I agreed and made Duncan tag along. I sat on the couch and made sure to keep a safe distance between Rhys and me, but I didn’t have to try that hard because Matt was chaperoning.

  Although, Matt seemed to be letting his big brother duties slide. He talked a lot to Willa, teasing her and laughing with her. She surprised me more than anybody, though. She actually ate the pizza. Even I wouldn’t eat pizza, but Willa ate it with a smile.

  Unlike the last time I watched movies in Rhys’s room, I made sure to leave before I fell asleep. I excused myself while everybody was in the middle of watching The Evil Dead.

  On my way to my room, I saw Finn making his rounds. I said hello to him, but he wouldn’t even nod or acknowledge my presence. Duncan apologized on Finn’s behalf, which only made me angrier. Finn shouldn’t need other trackers to make me feel better.

  The next morning, Tove woke me bright and early. With him living in the palace, he no longer had any commute to get here. It felt way too early to get up, but Tove’s insomnia had gotten worse since moving to the palace, so I didn’t complain.

  After I got ready, we spent a long day training. We went to the kitchen, which was ordinarily deserted, but with all the guards and people in the palace, the cook was on full-time. Much to the chef’s dismay, Tove had me practicing on moving pots and pans.

  I was hoping for something like Mary Poppins, with all the dancing utensils, but it didn’t work out that way. I did get a couple cast iron pans to float, and I nearly took off Duncan’s head when I flung a saucepan across the room using only my mind.

  Part of me was ecstatic that I’d finally gotten stuff to move. Tove thought it had something to do with me slamming the door when Elora was hurting Loki. It had unlocked whatever had been preventing me from harnessing my potential.

  The part of me that was thrilled was eventually drowned out by the part of me that was exhausted. I’d never felt so drained in all my life by the time we finished. Duncan offered to help me up the stairs to my room, and while I could’ve used it, I refused to let him. I had to learn to master this stuff on my own.

  I didn’t want people like Duncan and Finn and even Tove risking their lives to protect me. Or even if they weren’t risking their lives, I didn’t want to need them. I was stronger than the rest of them, and I had to take care of myself.

  I knew I couldn’t master everything overnight, but I’d wor
k as hard as I needed to until I could get it down.

  After the training, I took a short break, and then we had a defense meeting. Tove, Duncan, and I went, along with a select few guards, and Elora. Both Finn and his father Thomas were already in the room when we arrived. I said hello to them, and while Thomas responded, Finn ignored me. Again.

  The meeting didn’t amount to much. Elora filled us in on what was happening. No more Vittra had broken in. Loki hadn’t escaped. She went over the guard shifts with the trackers. I wanted to ask about her plan to barter with the Vittra over Loki, but Elora shot me a warning gaze, and I knew now wasn’t the time to bring it up.

  When the meeting ended, I wanted to head to my room, take a long hot shower, and go to sleep. Just before I hopped in the shower, I realized I was out of body wash. We kept some stocked up in the hall closet, which was much better than having to run to a store.

  My brain felt numb and short-circuited. For some reason, I could barely feel my extremities, like my fingers and toes. A migraine pulsed at the base of my skull, and the vision in my left eye was a little blurry.

  Training today had been harder on me than I had allowed myself to admit to Tove. He offered several times to take a break, but I’d refused, and it was catching up with me now.

  I think that’s why I lost it when Finn walked past me without saying hello. I’d walked down the hall, wrapped in my robe, to get some body wash, and Finn happened to be on his rounds once again. He walked by, I said hello, and he wouldn’t even nod or smile at me.

  And that was it. That was the final straw.

  “What the hell, Finn?” I shouted, whirling on him. He stopped, but only because I startled him. He looked at me, blinking and slack jawed, and I don’t think I’d ever seen him look so caught off-guard before. “Of course you won’t say anything. Just stare blankly at me like you always do.”

  “I-I-” Finn stammered, and I shook my head.

  “No, really, Finn.” I held my hand to stop him. “If you can’t be bothered to even acknowledge my existence, you shouldn’t start now.”

  “Wendy,” he sighed, sounding exasperated. “I’m simply doing my job-”

  “Whatever.” I rolled my eyes. “Where exactly in your job description does it say be a dick to the Princess and ignore her? Is that in there somewhere?”

  “I am merely doing my best to protect you, and you know it.”

  “I get that we can’t be together. And it’s not like I’m so weak-willed that the simple act of saying hello to me will cause me to jump your bones in the hall,” I said. “There is absolutely no reason for you to be so rude to me.”

  “I’m not.” Finn’s expression softened, looking pained and confused. “I…” He lowered his gaze to the ground. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to act around you.”

  “Why would you think that ignoring me would be the best way to go?” I asked, and to my own surprise, tears brimmed in my eyes.

  “This is why I didn’t want to be here,” he shook his head. “I begged the Queen to let me go-”

  “You begged her?” I asked, and that was too much.

  Finn did not beg. He had too much pride and honor to beg for anything, but he’d wanted to be away from me so badly, he’d resorted to begging.

  “Yes!” He gestured to me. “Look at you! Look at what I’m doing to you!”

  “So you know that you’re doing it?” I asked. “You know and you’re doing it anyway?”

  “I have so few options, Wendy!” Finn shouted. “What do you want me to do? Tell me what it is you think I should do?”

  “I don’t want anything from you anymore,” I admitted, and I walked away.

  “Wendy!” Finn called after me, but I shook my head and kept going.

  “I’m too tired for this, Finn,” I muttered and went into my room.

  As soon as I closed the door, I leaned against it and started to cry. I don’t even really know why, though. It wasn’t even that I missed Finn. It was as if I couldn’t control my emotions. They just poured out of me in epic sobs.

  I collapsed in bed and decided the only cure for this was sleeping.

  18. Secrets

  It took Duncan twenty minutes to wake me up the next morning. He tried knocking first, but I didn’t hear that at all. When he moved on to shaking me, it still didn’t wake me. He’d been convinced I was dead until Tove showed up and splashed cold water on my face.

  “What the hell?” I shouted, sitting up.

  Water dripped down my face, and I blinked it away to see both Tove and Duncan holding their heads. My heart pounded in my chest, and I pushed my hair out of my face.

  “You did it again, Princess,” Tove said, rubbing his temple.

  “What?” I asked. “What’s going on?”

  “That brain slap thing you do.” Tove grimaced, but Duncan had already dropped his hand. “We scared you when you woke up, so you lashed out in your sleep. But it’s fading now.”

  “Sorry.” I got out of bed in my drenched pajamas. “That doesn’t explain the water, though.”

  “You wouldn’t wake up,” Duncan insisted with wide, nervous eyes. “I was afraid you were dead.”

  “I told you she wasn’t dead.” Tove cast a look at him and stretched his jaw wide, working out the aches from the slap I’d accidentally given him.

  “Are you okay?” Duncan moved closer to me, inspecting me for injuries.

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” I nodded. “Other than being wet. And I’m still tired.”

  “We’ll skip training today,” Tove informed me.

  “What?” I turned sharply to him. “Why? I’m just starting to get stuff down.”

  “I know, but it’s too draining,” Tove said. “You’ll pull a muscle or something. We can practice more tomorrow.”

  I tried to protest, but it was only half-hearted, and Tove wouldn’t hear of it anyway. Even after a good night’s sleep, I still felt drained and exhausted. One whole side of my head felt strangely numb, like half of my brain had fallen asleep. That wasn’t true, obviously, since I wasn’t having a stroke, but I did need a break.

  Tove left to do whatever it is that Tove did with his free time, and Duncan promised me a relaxing day, whether I liked it or not.

  First order of business was changing out of my wet clothes and taking a shower. After I came out of the bathroom, I found Duncan planted on my unmade bed. He started telling me all the quiet things we could do all day, but none of them sounded like fun.

  “Would you say talking with friends is relaxing?” I asked, running a towel over my wet curls. Since my head hurt, I wanted to leave my hair down for a change.

  “Yeah,” Duncan said hesitantly.

  “Great. Then I know what I can do.” I tossed the towel on a nearby chair, and Duncan moved to the edge of the bed.

  “What?” Duncan narrowed his eyes at me. I hadn’t sounded excited about any of his ideas, so he didn’t trust whatever I wanted to do.

  “I’m going to talk to a friend,” I said.

  “What friend?” Duncan got off the bed and followed close behind me as I opened my bedroom door.

  “Just a friend,” I shrugged and went out into the hall.

  “You don’t have that many friends,” Duncan pointed out, and I pretended to be offended. “Sorry.”“It’s okay. It’s true,” I said as we walked past Rhys’s and Matt’s rooms.

  “Oh, no.” Duncan shook his head as he caught on. “Princess, you’re supposed to be relaxing. And that Vittra Markis is certainly not a friend.”

  “He’s not exactly an enemy, either, and I only want to talk to him,” I said.

  “Princess,” he sighed. “This is a bad idea.”

  “Your concerns have been noted, Duncan. And I don’t mean to pull rank on you here, but I am the Princess. You can’t really stop me.”

  “You’re not supposed to be talking to him at all, you know,” Duncan said, and he fell in step behind me. “The Queen talked to the guards after your last visit.”


  “If you don’t approve, you don’t have to come with,” I pointed out.

  “Of course I’m going to come with.” He bristled and quickened his pace. “I’m not about to let you talk to him alone.”

  “Thanks for your concern, but I will be alright.” I looked over at him. “I don’t want to get you in any trouble or anything. If you need to stay, that’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not okay.” He gave me a hard look. “It is my job to protect you, Princess. Not the other way around. You need to stop getting so caught up in my safety.”

  We reached the staircase at the same time a booming knock came from the front door. Nobody ever knocked. They always rang the doorbell, which sounded like very loud wind chimes.

  Stranger still, Elora came into the rotunda, the long black train of her dress dragging on the marble floor behind her. She was by herself, and she went over to the front door. Before opening it, she glanced behind her.

  I ducked down behind the banister before she saw me, and Duncan did the same. Through the wooden lattice, I saw Elora clearly as she looked about the room. Her face was smoother and younger than when I had seen her the other day, but her hair had two additional streaks of bright white running through it.

  “Why is she answering the door?” Duncan whispered. “And she’s without a guard?”

  “Shh!” I waved a hand at him to shush him.

  With the coast appearing clear, Elora opened the front door. A gust of icy wind blew inside the hall, and Elora had to grip the door tightly to keep it from slamming back.

  A woman slid inside as Elora pushed it back, fighting the door with as much grace as she could muster. A dark green cloak hung over the woman’s head, shielding her face from us. Her burgundy dressed appeared to be satin, and the hem pooled around her feet, looking tattered and wet from the elements.

  “So good of you to make it in this weather,” Elora smiled at her, that tight condescending one.

  She smoothed her hair, making it lay so it covered up the white streaks better. The woman said nothing, and Elora gestured to the upstairs, which didn’t make sense. The South Wing on the main floor was where all the business was conducted. Elora was directing the guest to her private quarters.