Torn

  “Does anybody even know that you left the palace?” Finn asked, giving me a sidelong glance as he matched my pace, and I shook my head. “How did you even know where I lived?” I didn’t answer because I didn’t want Duncan to get in trouble, but Finn figured it out on his own. “Duncan? Excellent.”

  “Duncan’s doing a perfectly adequate job!” I snapped. “And you must think so, otherwise you wouldn’t have left me in his care.”

  “I have no control over whose care you’re left under,” Finn said. “You know that. I don’t know why you’re angry with me for that.”

  “I’m not!” I walked even faster, so I was almost jogging. That didn’t bode well for me, because I stepped on a sharp rock. “Dammit!”

  “Are you okay?” Finn asked, stopping to see what was the matter.

  “Yeah, I just stepped on a rock.” I rubbed my foot. It didn’t appear to be bleeding, and I attempted to walk on it. It stung a little, but I’d survive. “Why couldn’t we take your car?”

  “I don’t have a car.” Finn shoved his hands in his pockets and slowed down. I hobbled a little, and he didn’t offer to help me. Not that I would’ve accepted his offer, but that was beside the point.

  “What do you call that Cadillac you always drive?” I asked.

  “Elora’s,” he said. “She lends me the car for work, the same way she lends all the trackers cars. But we don’t own them. I don’t actually own anything.”

  “What about your clothes?” I asked, mostly just to irritate him. I assumed he actually owned them, but I wanted to argue with him about something.

  “Did you see that house back there, Wendy?” Finn stopped and pointed to his house. We’d gone too far to see it anymore, but I looked at the trees blocking my view. “That’s the house I grew up in, the house I live in, the house I will probably die in. That’s what I have. That is all I have.”

  “I don’t have anything that’s really mine either,” I said, and he laughed darkly.

  “You still don’t get it, Wendy.” He rested his eyes on me, and his mouth twitched into a bitter smile. “I’m just a tracker. You have to stop this. You have to go be a Princess, do what’s best for you, and let me go do my job.”

  “I really didn’t mean to bother you, and you don’t need to walk me home.” I turned and walked again, more quickly than my foot would’ve liked.

  “I am making sure you get there safely,” Finn said, following a step behind.

  “If you’re just doing your job, then go do it!” I stopped and whirled on him. “But I’m not your job anymore, right?”

  “No, you’re not!” Finn shouted and stepped closer to me. “Why did come to my house today? What did you think that would accomplish?”

  “I don’t know!” I yelled. “But you didn’t even say goodbye!”

  “How does saying goodbye help anything?” He shook his head. “It doesn’t.”

  “Yes, it does!” I insisted. “You can’t just leave me!”

  “I have to!” His dark eyes blazed, making my stomach flip. “You have to be the Princess, and I can’t ruin that. I won’t.”

  “I understand but…” Tears welled in my eyes, and I swallowed hard. “You can’t keep going like you do. You have to at least say goodbye.”

  Finn stepped closer to me. His eyes smoldered in a way that only he could manage. The chill in the air seemed to disappear entirely. I leaned into him, even though I was afraid he’d be able to feel the way my heart hammered in my chest.

  I stared up at him, praying he would touch me, but he didn’t. He didn’t move at all.

  “Goodbye, Wendy,” Finn said so quietly, I could barely him.

  “Princess!” Duncan shouted.

  I pulled my gaze away from Finn to see Duncan standing a little ways down the road, waving his arms like a maniac. The palace was right around the corner, and I hadn’t realized how close we were. When I looked at Finn, he’d already taken several steps away from me, towards his house.

  “He can take you the rest of the way home.” Finn gestured to Duncan and took another step back. I didn’t say anything, so he stopped. “Aren’t you going to say goodbye?”

  “No.” I shook my head.

  “Princess!” Duncan shouted again, and I heard him racing towards us. “Princess, Matt noticed you were missing, and he wanted to alert the guards. I have to bring you back before he does.”

  “I’m coming.” I turned towards Duncan, turning my back on Finn.

  I walked with Duncan to the palace, and I didn’t even look back at Finn once. I was quite proud of myself. I hadn’t yelled at him for not telling me about my father, but I did say some of the things I wanted to say.

  “I’m lucky that Matt was the one that saw you were gone, and not Elora,” Duncan said as we rounded the bend to the palace. The asphalt road gave way to a cobblestone driveway that felt much better on my feet.

  “Duncan, is that you how live?” I asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Like Finn’s house.” I pointed towards it with my thumb. “Do you live in a cottage like that? I mean, when you’re not busy tracking.”

  “Yeah, pretty much,” Duncan nodded. “I think mine’s a little bit nicer, but I live with my uncle, and he was a really good tracker before he retired. Now he’s a school teacher, and that’s still not so bad.”

  “Do you live around here?” I asked.

  “Yeah.” He pointed up the hill, north of the palace. “It’s pretty hidden in the bluff, but it’s right up that way.” He looked at me. “Why? Did you wanna go visit?”

  “Not right now. Thanks for the invitation, though,” I said. “I was just curious. Is that how all the trackers live?”

  “Like me and Finn?” Duncan was thoughtful for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, pretty much. All the trackers that stay around, anyway.”

  Duncan walked ahead and opened the palace doors, but I stopped and stared up at it. The intertwined vines grew over the shining white exterior. When the sunlight hit it, it could be almost blindingly bright. It was massive and glittering.

  “Princess?” Duncan waited at the open doors for me. “Is everything alright?”

  “Would you die to save me?” I asked him bluntly.

  “What?”

  “If I was in danger, would you be willing to die to protect me?” I asked. “Have other trackers done that before?”

  “Yes, of course,” Duncan nodded. “Many other trackers have given their lives in the name of the kingdom, and I’d be honored to do the same.”

  “Don’t.” I walked up to him. “If it ever comes down to a situation between me and you, save yourself. I’m not worth dying for.”

  “Princess, I-”

  “None of us are,” I said, looking at him seriously. “Not the Queen or any of the Markis or Marksinna. That’s a direct order from the Princess, and you have to follow it. Save yourself.”

  “I don’t understand.” Duncan’s whole face scrunched in confusion. “But… if it’s as you wish, Princess.”

  “It is. Thank you,” I smiled at him and walked into the palace.

  13. Captive

  The debris had been cleared from the ballroom, much to Tove’s chagrin, but the skylights were still covered with tarp. Tove had liked having all the junk around because it gave me something to practice on, but he decided that the tarp would be easier anyway.

  Duncan stayed away today. I think his brain was getting frazzled from me playing around with it. Since he sometimes got hit with stray brain waves when I tried too hard, we all thought it’d be best if he hung around somewhere else for a while.

  I’d been trying for hours to get the tarp to move, and all I’d managed was a ripple across it. Even that was questionable. Tove said it was probably me, but I suspected it was a strong gust of wind blowing across it.

  My head was actually starting to hurt, and I felt like a jackass holding my arms up in the air, pushing at nothing.

  “Nothing’s happening,” I sighed and dr
opped my arms.

  “Try harder,” Tove replied. He lay on the floor near me, his arms folded neatly beneath his head.

  “I can’t try any harder.” I sat down on the floor with an unladylike thud, but I knew Tove wouldn’t care. I had a feeling he barely even noticed I was a girl. “I’m not trying to whine here, but are you sure I can even do this?”

  “Pretty sure.”

  “Well what if I give myself an aneurysm trying to do something I can’t even do?” I asked.

  “You won’t,” he said simply. He lifted an arm up, and holding his palm out to it, he made the tarp lift up and strain against the bungee cords holding it down. It settled down, and he looked over me. “Do that.”

  “Can I take a break?” I asked, almost pleading with him. My brow had started to sweat, and stray curls were sticking to my temples.

  “If you must.” He lowered his arm and folded it behind his head again. “If you are really having a hard time with this, maybe you need to work up to it more. Tomorrow, you can practice on Duncan again.”

  “No, I don’t wanna practice on him.” I pulled my knee up to my chest and rested my cheek against it. “I don’t want to break him.”

  “What about that Rhys?” Tove asked. “Can you practice on him?”

  “No. He’s completely out of the question.” I picked at a spot on the marble floor and thought for a minute. “I don’t want to practice on people.”

  “It’s the only way you’ll get good at it,” Tove said.

  “I know but…” I sighed. “Maybe I don’t want to be good at it. I mean, controlling it, yes, I want to be good at that. But I don’t want to be able to use mind control on anyone. Even bad people. It doesn’t feel right to me.”

  “I understand that.” He sat up, crossing his legs underneath him as he turned to face me. “But learning to harness your power isn’t a bad thing.”

  “I’m stronger than Duncan, right?”

  “Yes, of course,” Tove nodded.

  “Then why is Duncan guarding me?” I asked. “If I’m more powerful.”

  “Because he’s more expendable,” Tove replied simply. I must’ve looked appalled because Tove hurried to explain. “That’s the way the Queen sees it. The way Trylle society sees it. And… if I’m being really honest, I agree with them.”

  “You can’t really believe that my life has more value simply because I’m a Princess?” I asked. “The trackers are living in squalor, and we expect them to die for us.”

  “They’re not living in squalor, but you’re right. The system is totally messed up,” Tove said. “Trackers are born into a lifetime of debt simply because they’re born here, and not left somewhere out in the world collecting an inheritance. They are indentured servants, which is just a polite name for slaves. And that is not right at all.”

  It wasn’t until Tove said it that I realized that’s exactly what it was. The trackers were little more than slaves. I felt sick.

  “But you do need guards,” Tove went on. “Every leader in the free world has bodyguards of some kind. Even pop stars have them. It’s not a horrible thing.”

  “Yes, but in the free world, the bodyguards are hired. They choose it,” I said. “They’re not forced.”

  “You think Duncan was forced? Or Finn?” Tove asked. “They both volunteered for this. Everyone did. Protecting you is a great honor. Besides that, living in the palace is a sweet deal.”

  “I don’t want anyone getting hurt over me,” I said and looked directly at him.

  “Good.” His mouth curled up into a smirk. “Then learn to defend yourself. Move the tarp.”

  I stood up, preparing to conquer the tarp once and for all, but a blaring siren interrupted everything.

  “You hear that, right?” Tove asked, cocking his head at me.

  “Yeah, of course!” I shouted to be heard over it.

  “Making sure it wasn’t just me,” Tove said.

  That made me wonder what it sounded like inside his head. I knew he heard things everybody else didn’t hear, but if that included things like blaring sirens, I understood why he always seemed so distracted.

  “What is that?” I asked.

  “Fire alarm, maybe?” Tove shrugged and stood up. “Let’s go check it out.”

  I put my hands over my ears and followed him out of the ballroom. We’d only made it out in the hallway when the alarm stopped blaring, but my ears kept ringing. We were in the South Wing where business was conducted, and a few of the Queen’s associates were out in the hall, looking around.

  “Why is that blasted thing going off?” Elora shouted from the front hall. Her words echoed from inside my head too, and I hated that she would do that mindspeak thing when she was angry.

  I couldn’t hear the answer to her question, but there was definitely a commotion going on. Grunting, yelling, slamming, fighting. Something was going down in the front hall. Tove kept walking without hesitation, so I picked up the pace.

  “Where did you find him?” Elora asked, but I couldn’t hear her inside my head. We were close enough to the front hall where I could hear her voice.

  “He was hanging around the perimeter,” Duncan said, and I hurried at the sound of him. I wasn’t sure what he’d gotten himself into, but it couldn’t be good. “He’d knocked out one of the guards when I saw him.”

  When I reached the front hall, Elora had descended the curved staircase only halfway. She had on a long dressing gown, so I assumed she’d been lying down with another one of her migraines when the alarm went off. Rubbing her temple, she surveyed the room with her usual disdain.

  The front doors were still wide open, letting an early snowfall billow in. A group of guards were in a fray in the center of the rotunda, and the wind gusted in, shaking the chandelier above them. Duncan stood off to the side, much to my relief, because the fight did not seem to be going well.

  At least five or six guards were trying to tackle someone in the middle. A couple of the guards were really huge, muscular dudes too, and they couldn’t seem to get a handle on this guy. I couldn’t get a good look at him because he kept slipping between them.

  “Enough!” Elora shouted, and a pain pierced my skull.

  Tove put both his hands to his head, pressing against it hard, but my pain stopped a second after it started.

  The guards backed off the way Elora commanded, giving ample room to the guy in the center, and I finally saw what all the fuss was about. His back was to me, but he was the only troll I’d seen with hair that light.

  “Loki?” I said, more surprised than anything, and he turned to me.

  “Princess.” He gave me a lopsided smirk, and his eyes sparkled.

  “You know him?” Elora asked, her words dripping with venom.

  “Yeah. I mean, no,” I said.

  “Come now, Princess, we’re old friends.” Loki winked at me. He turned to Elora, attempting to give her his most winning smile, and spread his arms wide. “We’re all friends here, aren’t we, Your Highness?”

  Elora narrowed her eyes at him, and Loki suddenly collapsed to his knees. He made a horrible guttural sound and clenched his stomach.

  “Stop!” I yelled and ran towards him. At the same time, the front door slammed shut and the chandelier above shook.

  Elora took her eyes off him to glare to me, but fortunately, she didn’t cause me to writhe in pain. I stopped before I reached Loki. He’d doubled over, his forehead resting against the marble floor. I could hear him gasping for breath, and he turned his head away from me so I couldn’t see how much pain he was in.

  “Why on earth would I stop?” Elora asked. She had one hand on the banister, and her knuckles began to whiten as her grip tightened. “This troll was trying to break in. Isn’t that right, Duncan?”

  “Yes.” Duncan sounded uncertain, and his eyes flitted over to me for a second. “I believe he was, at least. He looked… suspicious.”

  “Suspicious behavior doesn’t give you carte blanche to torture someone!” I y
elled at her, and her expression only got stonier. I wasn’t helping the situation, but I couldn’t contain myself.

  “He’s Vittra, is he not?” Elora asked.

  “Yeah, he is but…” I licked my lips and looked over at Loki. He’d sat up a bit and composed himself some, but his face was still drawn. “He was good to me when I was there. He didn’t hurt me, and he actually helped me. So… we should at the very least show him the same respect here.”

  “Is that true?” Elora asked him

  “Yes, it is.” He sat on his heels so he could stare up at her. “I’ve found that I get what I want more often with basic decency than unnecessary cruelty.”

  “What’s your name?” Elora asked, unmoved by his statement.

  “Loki Staad.” He held his chin up high when he said that, as if he was proud.

  “I knew your father.” Elora’s lips moved into a thin smile, but it wasn’t a pleasant smile. It was the kind someone had after they’d stolen candy from a small child. “I hated him.”

  “That surprises me, Your Majesty.” Loki smiled broadly at her, erasing any sign that he’d been in agony moments ago. “My father was a stone-cold jerk. That sounds like your taste exactly.”

  “It’s funny, because I was going to say you remind me so much of him,” Elora continued with her icy smile as she descended the rest of the stairs, and Loki tried not to let his falter. “You think you can use your charm to get out of anything, but I don’t find you charming at all.”

  “That’s a shame,” Loki said. “Because, with all due respect Your Highness, I could rock your world.”

  Elora laughed, but it sounded more like a cackle when it echoed off the walls. I wanted to yell at Loki, to tell him to stop baiting her, and I wished that I could do that mindspeak Elora did all the time.

  Right now, I had to make sure that Elora didn’t kill Loki. Not that I even really knew why I thought I had to save Loki. He hadn’t done much for me, other than not kill me when he kidnapped me. I guess I owed him that.

  Elora stopped when she got in front of him. Loki stayed on his knees, looking up at her, and I wished he’d get rid of that stupid grin on his face. It only antagonized her.