The Adventures of Petrovich the Bunny - More tales from the Forest

The Adventures of Petrovich The Bunny:

  More Tales from the Forest

  By

  Alexandr Lepetuhin

  Translated from Russian by: Daria Wright

  Edited by: Roland Wright

  * * * * *

  Alexandr Lepetuhin

  ISBN: 9781301067015

   [email protected]

  Three Wishes

  Petrovich the Bunny moved his ears. Then he closed his eyes and pulled his blanket right up under his chin.

  He felt exhausted, but sleep would not come. There was a big yellow moon looking through the window. Petrovich stared wistfully at the moon and said to himself:

  “Wouldn’t it be nice if that wasn’t the moon, but a giant Gold Fish that made wishes come true?”

  He closed his eyes and heard. “Knock-knock, Petrovich. Knock-knock, Petrovich.”

  But Petrovich was amazed. It wasn’t his friend, Feodor the piglet who lived just a few houses down from his Bunny hut. Instead, it was a giant Gold Fish, the kind who makes wishes come true. This fish looked almost exactly like the moon at a distance, but as she swan into Petrovich’s open window, it was obvious that she really was a fish after all!

  “I will grant you three wishes, Petrovich, said the giant golden Fish. I’ll make any three wishes of yours come true. You just have to close your eyes and make a wish!”

  “Any wish I want?” asked Petrovich , suddenly excited. Wow, I wish Feodor were here so I could consult him!”

  “One,” Said The Fish.

  At that very moment, Feodor the Piglet appeared in the middle of the room. There was a toothbrush in his surprised looking mouth, and a towel draped over his shoulder. He looked very sleepy, but his eyes grew as wide a saucers with surprise when he saw Petrovich.

  “Petrovich! Is that you? How did you get here?” asked Feodor in disbelief.

  “It’s not me who got here, It’s you who got here. The Gold Fish make you appear here in an instant!” replied Petrovich. Petrovich told him everything that had happened.

  “You see, one wish was wasted already because I wanted to ask for your advice. This fish is making everything I say too become true immediately. I wish that the Fish wouldn’t do that, make everything come true instantly, but it would be much better if things I wished for came true in a minute or two so I had some time to think about what I was saying.” Said Petrovich wistfully.

  “Two,” said the Fish!

  “Two? What do you mean, two?” Shouted Petrovich.

  “I’ll make your wishes come true with a lag time of one minute, not instantly as you wished. So now you have one left.” Said the giant golden Fish, sweetly.

  “You’re almost out of wishes, Petrovich!” said Feodor indignant that Petrovich was wasting wishes. “Instead of wishing for something really cool, like a magic sac full of acorns, you’re just wasting your wishes. Why not wish for a giant sac of acorns that never runs out, no matter how many acorns you take out of it!?” offered Feodor, helpfully. After all, he was a piglet, and piglets are quite fond of acorns.

  “Like you know what tastes good and what doesn’t! said Feodor angrily. Acorns are very healthy and tasty, much more tasty than carrots, for example”

  “You should be ashamed of yourself? I thought you can advise me something good, but there are only acorns in your head!” said Petrovich, taking the gloves off. Petrovich, after all, was very fond of cabbage.

  “Now there are only carrots in your head! You wasted two wishes on nonsense, and yet, don’t let me sleep and then call me names when I try to help. I’m not going to help you at all.” Said Feodor, quite upset at the way Petrovich was treating him.

  “Whatever you say. I don’t need your help. I don’t want your stupid advice. I wish you’d go back to bed and sleep, dead to the world, you big acorn head. I don’t want to waste ANY more time with you. I can make wishes without you as my advisor, no big deal” raged Petrovich.

  “Three!” Said The Fish.

  “Three!?? What, how is that three? And where is Feodor?” aksed Petrovich, quite dazed and confused by now.

  “Feodor is sleeping. Good-night, Petrovich!” said the big fish.

  “Fishy, fishy! Where are you?”

  There was a big yellow moon hanging out of the window, looking just like a Gold Fish.

  “There was such an unfortunate dream I saw,” Said Petrovich.

  “Wow, said Petrovich” rolling over. “What a weird and unpleasant dream I just had… why I dreamed that the moon was a wish-granting fish…”

  He shot out his tong and turned the other side of the body. He didn’t see that the moon put out her tong too.

  He rolled over to go back to sleep, and as he did so, he stuck his tongue out at the moon for being such a trickster. He fell asleep before he saw that the moon stuck out her tongue, right back at him too.

  The Hunt

  Petrovich the Bunny had a rifle hanging up in his house. However, he never used it. It was only for decoration and if the truth were to be told, the prospect of using a gun scared him half to death but he used to say to everyone:

  “Dear ones, when the snow first comes, or perhaps one warm summer day, I’m going to go hunting – that’s for sure!”

  Everyone listened to Petrovich, but nobody quite believed him. That is, everyone except his old pal Feodor, the piglet. Feodor believed him!

  Feodor started to nag his bunny friend. “So, Petrovich, when are we going to go hunting?”

  “Well, not today, it’s too rainy. All of the footprints have been washed away.” Said Petrovich. Or on another day “There is too much frost, it’s like a crust of ice on the snow, so we won’t be able to see any footprints today either”

  This pattern went on for a long time. Every morning Petrovich used to wake up to the sound of Feodor knocking at the window.

  “Well, what about the weather today?”

  Feodor’s persistence finally won out.

  “Okay, all right” said Petrovich finally. “Come first thing tomorrow morning and we will go hunting!”

  “Hoo-ray!” shouted Feodor. “Finally we’re going to see some action!”

  “Shhhh! Be quiet and don’t tell anyone, or all of the game will run away and hide!” Said Petrovich. And then there’ll be no chance at all to have a good hunt!

  ”Got it.” Feodor whispered.

  Two hours before sunrise Petrovich once again awoke to Feodor’s knocking. They prepared themselves and off they went. Petrovich led the way with the rifle slung over his shoulder. Feoder minced along behind him. All in all, they looked quite ridiculous!

  The first one to see them was the Bear who was dozing peacefully in his hammock.

  “Where are you guys going so early?” asked the sleepy giant.

  “Where? Where? Going hunting that’s where…” answered Feodor with whisper.

  “May I go with you?”

  “No way, “ said Petrovich, “You are such a clod, very noisy to boot. If you come lumbering along, you’ll scare away all the game!

  The bear looked just a little hurt. He wrinkled his nose and said “Aw, c’mon guys! It’s not true. I can be as quiet as a mouse when I need to be. I’ll be very careful not to even step on a twig. C’mon, take me with you – what have you got to lose?” Said the bear.

  “All right,” sighed Petrovich, just a bit exasperated. ”What will we do with you?”

  So off they went, heading deep into the bush.

  “Are you going hunting?” Asked The
Fox, looking out from her house. “I’m going with you!” “Not a chance! “ said the Bear, who was just happy to be part of the crew. “There’s already too many of us as it is!”

  “That’s all right,” The fox said, “I won’t be any trouble at all. Why, I’m a natural-born hunter. Just ask the Bunny.” The Fox said with a sly grin.

  Petrovich shuddered, happy that the fox was his friend. “All right!” he said in resignation. But we must be sure to walk quietly, in single file and try to step in the footprints of the person directly in front of you!”

  Quietly, in single file, in each other’s footprints they continued walking. The dew was falling. The sky was getting light. There was an extraordinary silence. But The Wolf spoiled everything. He also tagged after them to go hunting. At the same time he couldn’t understand how to walk in each other’s footprints, they had to show him.

  So they marched on in single file, each animal doing their best to walk single file and step exactly in the footprints of the animal in front of them. This wasn’t very hard for Feodor, who was walking behind the bear’s massive paws – but it was quite difficult for the bear who was trying to hunch down and be in inconspicuous and walk in Petrovich’s tiny bunny footprints.

  Soon, dawn began to break and it was a time of extraordinary silence in the forest. Then, the Wolf spoiled everything, for he had also tagged along so he could go hunting. But even though he was a pack animal, he was having a really difficult time figuring out how to walk in single file in someone else’s footprints. The other animals had to show him again and again.

  Soon other animals and birds began to wake up. Without fail, each animal they came across decide that they too wanted to go hunting. At first, Petrovich resisted and wasn’t willing to take anyone else along but after a little while he simply gave up and just let everyone tag along.

  “All right, all right – come along. He would say. But please be quiet, otherwise the hunting won’t work”.

  “May I go hunting with you?” Screamed The Magpie.

  “Not you,” Said Petrovich, “you can’t keep quiet.”

  “Just tie my beak up” offered the Magpie, trying to be helpful. He wanted desperately to come along, and was willing to do anything.

  They hunted like that all day long until the evening. The silence in the woods was deafening. In the evening they sat and lit a campfire. They sat in a circle and watched the red sparks pop up above the flames and then disappear into the blue starry night.

  “At least unleash The Magpie.” Said Petrovich.

  “I guess we should at least loosen the tie off of Maggy the Magpie’s beak” said Petrovich.

  “Guys!!!” Shouted The Magpie. “Isn’t that great? Let’s go for a walk with a rifle again tomorrow!

  And everyone agreed.

  Temptation

  One day the wolf sat in front of his house, looking at a can of dog food with an obvious look of disgust on his face. “Feodor?” The Wolf asked the Piglet who was walking by “Can you come over here and do me a favour?”

  “Sure, anything” said Feodor

  “Well then, come here and sit on this stump for awhile, would you?” asked the Wolf slyly.

  Feodor the piglet’s hackles immediately rose and he said “Uhhh, why do you want me to do *that*, friend?” his voice trembled, uncertain.

  Only to stimulate my appetite, friend. Said the Wolf with a toothy grin. I really detest this bilge that I’m supposed to eat. I used to kind of enjoy dog food, what with the commercials and that whole ‘don’t eat your friends’ sympathy movement. But lately, I’ve been going crazy. I am a carnivore after all!

  Yeah, don’t I know it. Said Feodor, a little nervous at the thought. “So you only want to do it because you hate dog-food, right?

  “Well, it’s even worse than that” confided the Wolf. In addition to the food becoming tasteless, I find that recently I have these really strange urges – like, to fetch the paper in the morning, or to walk on a leash!

  “Well, that’s pretty brutal” agreed Feodor. But you know what they say – you are what you eat. Said Feodor. But I’m really in a hurry this morning. Why don’t you ask the Frog to help you out and strike a pose? Said Feodor.

  The Frog was a real ham. She began to strike several provocative poses, trying to look delicious. However, it wasn’t working and the Wolf picked at his dog-food with a spoon, looking rather disinterested.

  “I’m afraid that the Wolf’s lost his mind and forgotten that we’re his friends!” said Feodor. “Just now, he asked me to pose for him to stimulate his appetite because he’s sick and tired of eating dog-food –and he said that looking at a plump piggy like me makes him hungry!” squealed Feordor.

  “It was totally weird, the way he was looking at me” complained Feodor. “No big deal, Feodor old pal – Just sit there on a stump and look delicious while I eat my dog-food and pretend it’s pork chops!” – What, do I look like some kind of movie star or celebrity that someone would want to stare at?”

  “We have to go to the bear and complain” said Petrovich

  “It won’t work” said Feodor. “Even if the Bear slaps the Wolf around a few times, it won’t be enough to make the Wolf a vegetarian, will it? We have to think of something else…”

  “While we are sitting here and thinking, the Wolf…”

  “…ate the Frog!” Said the Magpie, peeping into the window. “I saw it myself! So sad, she was so young and grew up here in the Kitelope Vally, just like us.

  “Good golly miss Molly!” Said Feodor.

  “Yeah, to make matters worse, she’s croaking away in the Wolf’s stomach. I heard it with my own ears. Croak! Croak! Croak! The Wolf actually looks kind of pitiful, like a doggie who’s been bad and knows it. I think he’s tormented by a guilty conscience at the thought of having eating his froggy friend. “ Said the Magpie.

  All of a sudden, the Wolf appeared in the glade.

  “He’s coming here!” Squealed Feodor.

  They all ran into Petrovich’s hut and slammed the door shut. They stood by the window, holding their breath and hoping he’d just go away.

  “Hey you guys, c’mon, open up!” said the Wolf.

  They all stood absolutely still, careful not to breathe. Nobody spoke.

  “Guys, I know that you re at home. Open the door, come out, I need to talk to you.” Said the Wolf.

  “Well, we don’t need to talk to you, especially after what you did to that poor frog!” Said Feodor who simply couldn’t help himself. “Shame on you, you big, bad Wolf!”

  “Croak, Croak.” Came the sound of the Frog’s voice from somewhere in the Wolf’s stomach.

  The Wolf punched himself in the stomach.

  “Croooaaakkaaawwwgggghhh!” Responded the Frog.

  “Don’t be afraid.” Said the Wolf. I’m still hungry. I just want you guys to stand still so I can admire you while I eat some more dog-food” said the Wolf. Perhaps he even believed his own lies by this point.

  “No way!” Shouted Feodor. I was born at night, but not LAST night, you crazy carnivore!

  “Feodor, please!” Said the Wolf, “At least, show me your little Piggy legs. They are so dainty and look soooooo delicious” The Wolf started to drool with anticipation as he pictured Feodor’s skinny little legs.

  “Uh-oh!!” screeched Feodor the piglet and hid himself under the bed.

  “It’s in your best interest to come willingly and help me out, you’ll see!” Shouted The Wolf. “ I promise you that!”

  He started to push and pull the door. At that moment huge, heavy box fell off of the roof and came down hard on the Wolf’s head. The Wolf’s eyes went googly like a cartoon character, and he sat down hard, looking off into space. At that very instant, the Frog popped out of the Wolf’s open mouth and quickly began to hop off to her home in the swamp.

  The Wolf didn’t even notice the frog leave. He excitedly opened box
and looked inside. Inside, was an old, mouldy ham sandwhich, some boiled eggs and a piece of rotted baloney. The wolf was so hungry that he wolfed it down with two bites. After that he came to his senses.

  “Hey guys, c’mon – I’m better now. I must have been missing some vitamins from eating that awful dog-food. I’ll be on my best behavior now, I swear” he said apologetically.

  “We’re glad you’ve come to your senses, but we’re going to be more careful around you from now on” said Petrovich. “Who knows what would have happened if that lunchbox that Billy the Badger forgot up on my roof when he was fixing the shingles wouldn’t have been shaken off the roof by you shaking my door. It’s a miracle we’re still alive”

  “Yes, agreed Feodor. A predator is always a predator!”

 

 

  The Animals go Fishing

  One day all of the animals went fishing. Bunny Petrovich had nothing better to do, so he went with them. He didn’t particularly like fishing, and the idea of killing a fish disgusted him, but he loved to be with his friends so he went along for the ride.