Desire of the Soul

DESIRE OF THE SOUL

  Alana Topakian

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  Published by:

  Copyright (c) 2012 by Alana Topakian

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  All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

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  The blood. That was my minds first thought as I looked down. I wanted it, I needed it. But drinking it, it would mean giving in to the monster. Giving in to Kallisto. I could tell what her plan was, it was honestly quite simple. I would drink the blood, and be kept hostage here as she fed me more and more animal blood. Then, I would become like her. A true vampire. I would no longer be a part of the Amatores Sanguinis race. I would be a monster, killing with glee and without mercy. A part of me wanted to give in so badly, just let go of the misery I was feeling. I wanted to be a soul wandering the Earth. But, would it be worth it?

  Would the pain of others, the killing, would it be worth my freedom? I didn’t like what I had been made to become. Everyone in the world was supposed to have a choice, but I didn’t. 

  Duke didn’t ask me what I wanted to do. He did what he wanted. And by doing that, I guess I lost a piece of my humanity. I lost the part that made up my freedom. The freedom to walk in a house without asking. The freedom to walk out in the sun without making sure to put on a little sunscreen, because Amatores skin is so very sensitive to sunlight. The freedom to be me and do crazy things just because I feel like it.

  I wanted the answer to be yes. Killing people and hurting their families and friends was worth it. It was worth my freedom. But I knew that wasn’t true. 

  I couldn’t put myself so high above others because although I may not be human anymore, I still had those bits and pieces of humanity left within my soul. There was no off switch for the guilt I would feel as I lived in purgatory, wondering what terrors my body was ravaging on Earth. There would be no off switch for the monster that I would have unleashed upon innocent humans.

  This is for my family,

  You’ve been there for me throughout everything,

  And for that I will be forever grateful,

  I love you.

  Desire of the soul

  By: Alana Topakian

  Let go and lose herself to the beast?

  Or hold on and fight for eternity.

  Which one would you choose?

  Table of Contents

  Before

  Rebirth

  Memory

  The Truth

  The Return

  Her Pain

  The Past

  Letting Go

  Back Home

  Secrets

  Answers

  The Test

  Changing

  The Coronation

  Finding Him

  The Seelie Court

  His Past

  His Story

  Waking

  Family Ties

  Transforming

  Breaking

  Shattered

  Pieces