Boys South of the Mason Dixon, Page 4

  “I’m good,” I replied when I realized all four sets of eyes were on me.

  The screen door opened again and this time it was Steel who walked in. He looked straight at me and stopped. He looked nervous.

  “About time you finally got home,” I said casually, rising from my chair.

  He took a step back, then froze, taking a deep breath. I’d eased him with my words.

  “I haven’t seen you since Christmas,” I said, closing the space between us and pulling him into a hug. “Missed you, bro.”

  The tension in his shoulders slowly relaxed as Steel hugged me back. “Glad you’re home,” he finally replied, and it sounded like he meant it.

  “Awww, shi—crap,” Dallas whined, catching himself before he cursed in front of Momma. “I was hoping for some action. You two are gonna be all mushy and sh—stuff.”

  “Stop being a douche,” Bray growled at Dallas.

  Momma spun and pointed her spoon at Bray. “You say douche in my kitchen again and I’ll send you to the store to buy some. You hear me?”

  Momma didn’t seem to care we were all men now. She still treated us like we were little boys. Bray nodded and mumbled an apology. Once, he’d called Brent a pussy in front of her. Momma took him to the grocery store and made him buy tampons. When they got to the checkout, she made Bray hand the tampons directly to the cashier and then take the sack once the lady bagged them. For a thirteen-year-old boy, that had been traumatic. Bray never called anyone a pussy in front of Momma again. In fact, he hadn’t used that word again until he finally got some actual pussy a few years after that.

  “Since we’re all here together and everyone is good, why don’t we leave Momma to her television shows and homemade wine, and take this party down to Jack’s. It’s Karly Walsh’s birthday and everyone’s headed there tonight.” Brent spoke, his eyes meeting mine. He still didn’t trust us to sit around with Momma present in case I decided to say something to Steel.

  “Sounds good! I’d forgotten about Karly’s party,” Dallas said, jumping up, his fried pie all forgotten.

  “Watch him,” Momma replied. “He ain’t old enough to be going to one of them parties or Jack’s.” Momma pointedly looked at me. The twins and myself had been going to Jack’s well before we were seventeen. She always expected me to keep them safe and out of harm’s way. And even with me being gone, she still relied on me to look after them whenever I came back home.

  “I’ll keep him out of jail,” I promised as we all headed for the door.

  “Take this fried pie,” momma called out to Dallas. He turned around and took the fried strawberry pie she’d wrapped in a napkin for him. Dallas kissed her cheek and she grinned, looking up at her six-foot-three baby and patting his face like an infant.

  Some things never changed. Except that my baby brother was now as tall as me.

  Deep down, I never expected this. I knew that my walking Dixie to classes would keep most guys back. But I should’ve been prepared for guys like Sellers Brachen to be cocky enough to walk up to Dixie right in front of me.

  “Heard it’s your birthday,” Sellers drawled as I stood there and watched Dixie blush and stammer over her words. Sellers came from money. His dad was the head of the boosters and we had top of the line equipment on the field and in the locker room thanks to his contributions. Sellers was a good running back. And now he was pissing me off.

  “Yes,” she managed to respond. He clearly made her nervous and I wasn’t sure I liked that much.

  “Well, happy birthday, Dixie.” He then turned his attention to me for a second and I could see the challenge in his eyes. Dumbass. I wasn’t going to compete with him. Dixie wasn’t a prize to be won.

  “What are you doing after school?”

  She stammered again, then replied. “Nothing. Going home.”

  He gave her a crooked grin, stepping closer to her. “That’s a shame. On your birthday, you should go have some fun. How about going to get a cupcake? Then I’ll take you out to see my new colt that was just born last week.”

  I was sure she was going to turn him down until he mentioned the new colt. Dixie loved horses.

  “Oh, really? Okay, yes, I’d like to see the colt.” She was less awkward now, smiling brightly at him. Sellers’ smile changed too because Dixie’s smile did that to a guy.

  “We’ve got practice,” I reminded Sellers.

  “Only till four. Dixie, can you wait until four for me?”

  She briefly glanced at me. I had no time to react. What was she expecting me to say? Did she want me to stop her?

  “Sure. I’ll, uh, do my homework, then come out to the parking lot.”

  Shit. Not what I wanted to hear.

  “I’ll be looking for you. Highlight of my week,” he told her with a wink. He fucking winked. Like a douchebag.

  Once he was gone, I tried to collect my thoughts, decide what I was going to say. I didn’t know how to warn her away. He wasn’t good enough for her.

  “This is my class. Thanks for walking me. I’ll see you later,” Dixie said. She broke into my thoughts with her voice and then was gone before I could say anything.

  Shit.

  Fuck.

  I wasn’t okay with this.

  But what could I do to stop it? She was a freshman. Sellers was a junior. Not a big deal to most people. He hadn’t done anything I hadn’t done. My reputation was probably worse than his. I was the one she needed to be protected from.

  Goddammit. I just fucked up.

  “You look like you’re about to go jump off a ledge,” Bray said, snapping me back from my thoughts.

  “Not today,” I replied. Although pushing Sellers off a ledge didn’t seem like a bad idea.

  “Dixie,” was all Bray said. Just her name. Like it was all the explanation needed for my current demeanor.

  “What?” I was annoyed that the little fucker saw too much. He paid too close attention.

  “Don’t act stupid. You’re the smartest one out of the five of us.”

  Actually, Bray was the smartest. His grades just didn’t reflect it. He had an explosive temper that was hard to control. Since he was a little boy, we’d had to deal with it. “Bray, I’m not in the mood for games. What do you mean by that?”

  Bray sighed as if my question exhausted him. “She’s fifteen today, older, but not old enough to make it alright for you. That’s what I fucking mean.”

  Out of all my brothers, Bray was the one who didn’t let anything get past him. He was the one who saw it all, soaked everything in. And in moments like these, that insight might get him thrown from a window.

  “Dixie is my friend. Just like she’s your friend.”

  Bray laughed. “Oh, no. I’m not whacking my dick while fantasizing of fucking her.”

  “Jesus! What the hell is wrong with you?” I growled, knowing all too well that I couldn’t deny it.

  “Lighten up. She’s grown up overnight. I’m not blaming you. Just saying you need to admit it and do something about it before someone else does. Because, believe me, brother, they will.”

  “What are y’all talking about?” Brent interrupted. The twin I liked. The one who wasn’t a nosey ass fucker.

  “Asher’s wanting Dixie. Time he did something about it. Admitted that shit.”

  “Oh, yeah, you really should. Sellers is already talking about her. Move fast, bro, or perish.”

  Not what I wanted to hear.

  “I’ve got literature, I think. Fuck, I don’t know for certain. Either way, I gotta go. Do something, Asher. Get on it.”

  Those were Bray’s parting words as he turned and jogged toward the gym. There weren’t any classes that way. His lit class was in the opposite direction.

  “Reckon he’s going to meet someone?” Brent asked as we both watched him jog away.

  “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

  “How does he keep his grades up?”

  That was easy. “He’s brilliant. Crazy as shit and a fucking genius.”
<
br />   Brent nodded. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

  There was no guessing to it. I knew I was right. My brother was a force to be reckoned with.

  “Can I ask you something, Asher?”

  I turned to Brent. “Yeah.”

  He glanced at Bray’s retreating form, then looked back at me. “Do you think he’s okay? Like, mentally stable?”

  “Yeah. Why?”

  “Because . . . sometimes he gets this darkness in his eyes. Like he’s not there. Like he goes somewhere else in his mind. Somewhere I never want to be.”

  I knew the answer to that, but it wasn’t my secret to tell. Instead, I replied, “he’s fine. Just Bray being Bray.” Because that much was obviously true.

  Dixie Monroe

  AS WE WALKED into Jack’s, Steel’s hand tightened around mine. He’d texted me to meet him here. The only place in town to do anything, even though they didn’t serve alcohol to minors, or at least that’s what they told everyone. I’d seen a waitress bring a Sutton boy a beer more than once in the past three years I’d been allowed to actually come inside the front door. When I drove up and saw Asher’s truck, I called Steel and he came outside to meet me. He assured me Asher was fine with us being together and that he’d been all smiles.

  Was it wrong of me to feel disappointed that Asher was happy I was with his brother? Shouldn’t I want him to be okay with this? Steel loved me. Steel wanted to marry me. Steel wouldn’t toss me out like yesterday’s trash.

  But . . . now Asher was home.

  I scanned the crowd. I could lie and tell myself I wasn’t looking for Asher, but I was. I craved to see him and I had to get a handle on this. I was happy he was fine with me dating Steel, and it bothered me, too.

  Brent’s laughter caught my attention and I knew Scarlet was probably with him. But my eyes didn’t seek Brent or Scarlet. They sought Asher who was sitting on a bar stool, holding a cue, watching Brent taunt Bray. The smile on Asher’s face wasn’t the heart-stopping one I’d once loved so much. Instead, it was a sad one. Did coming home make him sad? Once, I would’ve been able to wrap my arms around him and ask him what was bothering him. He would’ve told me and we could’ve worked right through it together.

  “Want a Coke?” Steel asked as he pulled me in his brother’s direction.

  I wasn’t sure what I wanted.

  I shook my head and Steel bent his to kiss the top of mine. “I swear, babe, it’s okay,” he whispered in my ear.

  He thought I was worried about Asher being upset about us. But what really worried me was how I would react to being near Asher again, after all this time. Would I be able to breathe? Would my heart hurt too much?

  I looked for Scarlet, but I only saw Brent. He looked up from the pool table where he was watching Bray sink a ball, his smile wavering. He wasn’t sure about this. Great. Had Steel been wrong? “Guess we’re all together again. About damn time. Scarlet’s on her way,” Brent said with a genuine smile, before he winked at me and collected his stick, then walked over to the table.

  Bray straightened and glanced back at me. His frown told me he wasn’t on board. That this was a bad idea. I couldn’t help but agree with Bray. But this was something Steel wanted for us.

  “Hey, Em, why don’t you come entertain Asher while I take his place in this game,” Bray called to Emily James. Damn him. Was he doing this on purpose? I’d watched Emily paw all over Asher after he dumped me. I hated it then and it still made my skin crawl just thinking about it.

  “What the hell ever,” Steel said grinning. “If Asher is out, then I’m in. You had your turn. I’m up.” Steel left me to walk over to the pool table.

  I refused to glance over at Asher and Emily freakin’ James. I knew she was tall with long legs. She had big fake boobs her momma bought her when she was eighteen years old. I also knew she’d spread her legs for Asher more than once. Word had gotten around. It didn’t hurt any less now than it did back then. Emily of all people. Asher knew how she’d once treated me. And he’d done it anyway.

  “He’s not paying Em any mind. Stop tensing up or Steel’s gonna notice,” Dallas whispered in my ear. The youngest Sutton boy was the largest and the most perceptive by far. He studied crowds and body language like it was his chosen profession. “Ash ain’t into fake titties anyway,” he added, smirking all amused.

  I glanced up at him and he shrugged as if to say, “what? You know I’m right.”

  “Nothing’s fake about her legs,” I replied in a bitter tone that I hated myself for. Dallas’s gaze flicked over my shoulder in the direction of Emily’s lone voice. It came from where Asher was seated. “Yeah, true,” Dallas replied, “but once a pair of legs have been wrapped around the hips of every male in the county, what’s between them ain’t the glory land that it was before all the wrappings.”

  I couldn’t stop the laugh that burst forth. Dallas’s eyes met mine and he grinned, obviously pleased with himself for his comment. “That’s more like it,” he said. “Don’t none of us want to see you all frowning. We love Ash and we’re thrilled he’s home, but we want the whole group to be alright again. To lay all the bullshit to the side.”

  In other words, I had to get over Asher.

  I nodded and immediately replied. “Yes, we do.” Because there was nothing I wanted more in the world than not to feel the pain slicing through me every time I thought of Asher. For three long years, I’d been heartbroken. When would it end? Would it ever?

  “Come here, baby,” Steel said, drawing my attention over to him. He was holding out his pool stick. “Show this smartass how it’s done. I’m sick of watching Bray beat the shit outta everyone at this table.”

  Steel. I was here with Steel. He loved me. That was a truth I could count on.

  I walked to him, his hand sliding around my waist, pulling me close. We were always like this, but having Asher a few feet away from us, made it feel like I was on a stage, being watched, judged and accused. I hated that feeling.

  “I’m gonna head out. I’ll see y’all at the house,” Asher said, standing up, before walking away without another word. The silence that fell as he left made it all even more awkward. He hadn’t wanted me here. He never wanted me around.

  “Guess I was pushing it. My bad. I shoulda eased him into this.” Steel spoke, looking over at Bray. When Asher wasn’t around, it was Bray that the rest of the Sutton boys looked to, him being the second oldest, even if by only five minutes.

  “Yeah, dipshit,” Brent said. “Probably shoulda not called her baby.” He then slapped the back of Steel’s head and reached for his drink on the table. “He was just starting to relax.”

  Steel groaned and ran his hand through his hair: “I’ll talk to him. Damn, this is fucked up. He shouldn’t care anymore.”

  I didn’t want to be standing here listening to this conversation. I was the problem and I felt even more out of place and in the way than ever before. “Maybe I should go home,” I finally said, speaking up and reminding Steel that I was here, listening to it all.

  He looked up at me and grimaced. “Sorry about this, but yeah, I need to go and talk to Ash. I don’t want him running off again. Momma would be heartbroken if he didn’t stick around for a while. And we all miss him.”

  I nodded. I understood. I just wished it wasn’t this way. But then again, I’d been wishing for a lot of things for as long as I’d known Asher Sutton. Repeated wishes wear you thin. Especially when they don’t come true.

  I said yes to Sellers for one reason. And that reason wasn’t fair. Sellers was being nice, he was just flirting, but my using him to show Asher I was more than a little girl to protect had been wrong. Yet, I said yes knowing it was wrong. Now I needed to tell him no. Maybe even tell him the truth, as embarrassing as the truth was to admit.

  Asher hadn’t walked me to my last two classes. My plan hadn’t worked. Instead, it backfired in my face. Maybe now he thought I had Sellers to protect me, not that I needed protecting. Frustrated with the whole situa
tion, I planned exactly what I would say to Sellers after his practice was finished. I even wrote it all down, read over it a few times, made sure I was completely prepared.

  Five minutes before packing up my things and heading down to the field house, the door to the library opened and a very sweaty Asher walked in. I was the only one in the library. Even the librarian had left for the day. She’d said I could stay and do my homework until after practice ended. Either Asher was here to see me or he had a book he wanted to check out so badly, he’d left practice early to do it.

  He stood inside the room, his large frame releasing an enormous amount of energy. My heart started beating faster, but then again, it always did around Asher. His gaze scanned the library, locked on me, before he approached with long, aggressive strides, and a determined look on his face.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, standing up and getting ready to leave.

  “Don’t go out with Sellers,” was all he said. I wanted that to mean more than it did. I wanted it to mean he didn’t want me with Sellers because . . . well, he wanted me with him. But I knew that was a fantasy I couldn’t allow myself to entertain.

  “Do you not like Sellers?”

  He shook his head no, but replied “I like Sellers just fine. I just don’t like Sellers with you.”