Never Too Far

  This was the only place I ever wanted to be. I slid my hand down and laid it flat over her stomach. The idea of what I was holding right now was humbling.

  A soft trail down my arm and then across my chest brought a smile to my face as I opened my eyes. Blaire was turned around facing me now. Her eyes were open as she stared at my chest and ran her finger over each of my pecs then back up and across my shoulder. She lifted her eyes and a small smile played on her lips.

  “Hey,” I whispered.

  “Hey.”

  It was dark outside now but I had no idea how late it was. “I missed you today.”

  Her smile slipped and she shifted her gaze away from me. That was an odd reaction. “I missed you too,” she replied, not looking at me.

  I reached up and took her chin so I could turn her gaze back toward me. “What’s wrong?”

  She forced a smile. “Nothing.”

  She was lying. Something was definitely wrong. “Blaire, tell me the truth. You look upset. Something is wrong.”

  She started to pull away from me but I held her close. “Tell me, please.” I begged.

  The tension in her body eased some when I said please. I needed to remember that she was weak where that word was concerned.

  “I saw you today. You were having fun…” she trailed off.

  Was that the problem? Oh… wait. She saw Meg. “This is about Meg. I’m sorry; I didn’t know until she got there that Grant had asked her to replace Nan. My sister backed out at the last minute and Grant asked Meg to take her spot. I would have told you before if I’d known.”

  The tension in her body was back. Shit. I thought that explained it. Was she that upset over it?

  “She was your first.” Blaire’s voice was so soft I almost missed it.

  Someone had told her. Fuck. Who knew that other than Grant? It wasn’t like I shared my sexual history with people. Who could have told her? I cupped her face in my hands. “And you’re my last.”

  Her eyes softened. I was getting good at this sweet talking thing. I hadn’t much cared about saying the right thing with females before. It was easy with Blaire. I was just being honest.

  “I…” She stopped and wiggled in my arms. “I need to go to the restroom,” she said. I was positive that wasn’t what she was going to say at first but I let her get up.

  She was wearing a yellow tank top and pair of pink panties that I knew girls referred to as boy shorts. Even though no guy I knew would wear something like that. Her hips looked fuller and the idea of bending her over the bed and holding those hips made me hard as a rock. I needed to focus. She was upset about something and she wasn’t telling me what it was. I had to fix this. I didn’t want her upset.

  My phone rang and I reached over to get it off the nightstand. It was Nan. Not who I wanted to talk to at the moment. I pressed ignore. After turning off the ringer, I checked the time. It was only ten after nine.

  Blaire stepped back out of the bathroom and grinned sheepishly. “I’m kinda hungry.”

  “Then let’s go feed you,” I said getting up and reaching for my jeans.

  “I need to go to the grocery. I was going to go earlier but I was sleepy so I thought I’d take a nap first.”

  “I’ll take you to dinner then we’ll go grocery shopping in the morning. There are no grocery stores open this late around here.”

  Blaire look confused. “There aren’t any restaurants in town open either.”

  “The club is open until eleven. You know that.” I yanked my shirt down over my head then walked over to her. She was studying me like she didn’t understand.

  “What?” I asked grabbing her waist and pulling her almost naked body up against me.

  “People will see you with me at the club. People other than your friends,” she said slowly as if letting it sink in.

  “And?” I asked.

  She tilted her head back so she could look up at me. “And I work there. They know I work there.”

  I still didn’t understand what she was saying. “I’m not following you.”

  Blaire let out an exasperated sigh. “Do you not care that other club members will see you eating dinner with an employee?”

  I froze. What? “Blaire,” I said slowly, making sure I’d heard her correctly. “Did you just ask me if I cared if someone saw me eating with you? Please tell me I misunderstood that.”

  She shrugged.

  I dropped my hands from her waist and walked over to the door. She had to be kidding me. When had I ever led her to believe that I was ashamed of her?

  I looked back at her. She had crossed her arms over her chest as she watched me.

  “When have I ever made you think I didn’t want to be seen with you? Because if I have then I swear to you I’ll go fix it.”

  She shrugged again. “I don’t know. We’ve just never really gone out on a date. I mean there was the honky-tonk that time but it wasn’t really a date. Your social functions normally don’t include me.”

  My chest constricted. She was right. I’d never taken her anywhere other than to buy furniture and a ride to Sumit and back. Fuck. I was an idiot. “You’re right. I suck. I’ve never taken you anywhere special,” I whispered then shook my head. I had never really had a relationship before. I fucked girls and then I sent them home.

  “So all this time you thought I was ashamed of you?” I asked, knowing I didn’t want to hear the answer. It was going to hurt like a motherfucker.

  “Not ashamed exactly. I just… I just thought well, I don’t fit into your world. I know that. Just because I’m pregnant with our baby doesn’t mean you have to claim me in any way. You’re just being supportive—”

  “Blaire. Please. Stop now. I can’t listen to any more.” I closed the distance I’d put between us. “You’re my world. I want everyone to know. I don’t know how to date so I never even thought of taking you on a date. But I can promise you right now; I will be taking you on so many damn dates that there won’t be a person in this town that doesn’t know I worship the ground you walk on,” I swore before reaching out and taking her hand. “Forgive me for being an idiot.”

  Blaire blinked back tears and nodded. I wondered how many more times I was going to screw up before I ever got this right.

  Blaire

  The cell phone Rush had bought for me was sitting on the kitchen bar when I walked out of my room. This was the third time this week he’d left it somewhere for me to find. This time it had a note attached.

  I picked it up.

  Think about the baby. You need this for emergencies.

  That was a low blow. Smiling I picked the phone up and put it in my pocket. He wasn’t going to give up until I accepted it. Today was my second doctor’s appointment. I’d told Rush about it on our third date Monday night. He’d been very determined to take me on dates all week. Last night I’d begged him to just stay in and watch a movie. He had made his point. Everyone in town had seen us together. I was sure they were all sick of seeing us together by now. The thought made me smile even bigger.

  I slipped the phone back out of my pocket. I had forgotten to remind Rush about today’s appointment last night. Now I had a phone so I could call him. His name was the first one on my contacts list under favorites. I wasn’t surprised.

  It rang three times before he answered.

  “Hey, I need to call you back,” Rush’s voice said in an annoyed tone.

  “Okay but…” I started to say when he muffled the phone to talk to someone else. What was going on?

  “Are you okay?” he snapped.

  “Yeah, I’m fine but—”

  “Then I gotta call you back,” he interrupted me before I could finish then he ended the call.

  I sat there and stared at the phone. What had just happened? Maybe I should have asked if he was okay. When he didn’t call back in the next ten minutes I decided I’d better get dressed for my appointment. Surely he would call back before it was time to leave.

  An hour later and he stil
l hadn’t called back. I debated on calling him or not. Maybe he had forgotten that I’d called. I could always borrow Bethy’s car and go to my appointment. On Monday when I’d told him about it he’d seemed excited about going. I couldn’t just leave him.

  I pressed his number again. It rang four times this time.

  “What?” Nan’s voice startled me. Was he at Nan’s?

  “Uh, um…” I wasn’t sure what to say to her. I couldn’t tell her about my appointment. “Is Rush there?” I asked nervously.

  Nan let out a hard laugh. “Unbelievable. He told you he’d call you back. Why don’t you give him some breathing room? Rush doesn’t do needy. He’s visiting with his family. My mom and dad are here and we’re getting ready to go have a family lunch. When he is ready to talk to you he will.” Then she hung up.

  I sank down onto the bed. He was having a family lunch with his sister, mother and my father. That was why he hung up on me? He didn’t want me to know he was with them. His family lunch came before me and the baby. This was what I’d expected but then he’d been so sweet and protective. Was I being needy? I wasn’t a needy person but I had turned into one. Hadn’t I?

  Standing up, I laid the phone down on the bed. I didn’t want it anymore. Nan’s hateful voice as she told me they were eating with her father taunted me. I grabbed my purse. I had time to walk down to the offices and borrow Bethy’s car.

  I was sweating by the time I made it to the course offices. So much for looking nice for my appointment. That didn’t matter really. It was the least of my problems. I walked up the steps and Darla met me as she was coming out of the door.

  “You don’t work today,” she stated when she saw me.

  “I know. I need to borrow Bethy’s car. I have a doctor’s appointment in Destin that I… uh … forgot about.” I hated lying but telling her the truth was just more than I could handle.

  Darla studied me a moment then reached into the pocket of her slacks and pulled out her keys. “Take my car. I’ll be here all day. I don’t need it.”

  I wanted to hug her but I didn’t. I wasn’t sure she’d be comfortable with that kind of reaction to a simple doctor’s appointment. “Thank you so much. I’ll put gas in it,” I assured her.

  She nodded and waved me on. I hurried down the steps and climbed into her Cadillac to head toward Destin.

  The drive over wasn’t bad and I only had to wait fifteen minutes before they called me back to the exam room. The nurse was all smiles as she pulled out a machine with a small screen on it.

  “You’re only ten weeks along so to hear the baby’s heartbeat we’re gonna need to do an ultrasound. We should hear the heartbeat and see a little bitty baby in there too,” she explained.

  I was going to see my baby and hear it’s heartbeat. This was real. The few times I’d imagined this day I hadn’t imaged being alone. I had thought someone would be with me. What if they can’t find a heartbeat? What if something is wrong? I didn’t want to be alone for this.

  The doctor walked in with a comforting smile. “You look terrified. This is a happy moment. All your vitals are good. No need to be so nervous,” he assured me. “Now lay back.” I did as he instructed and the nurse put my legs up in the stirrups.

  “You aren’t far enough along to do this externally and be able to see or hear the baby. We need to do a transvaginal ultrasound which means we need to go in vaginally. It doesn’t hurt. You’ll feel some pressure from the wand, that’s all,” the nurse explained.

  I didn’t watch them. The idea of him sticking a wand up me only made this worse. I focused on the screen.

  “Okay, here we go. Easy, be still,” the doctor instructed. I watched the black and white screen, waiting patiently for something that resembled a baby.

  A small thumping sound filled the room and it felt like my own heart had stopped beating.

  “Is that…?” I asked, suddenly unable to say anything else.

  “That’s it alright. Thumping just right too. Nice and strong,” the doctor replied.

  I stared at the screen and the nurse pointed to what looked like a little pea. “There he or she is. Perfect size for ten weeks.”

  I couldn’t swallow past the lump in my throat. Tears rolled down my face but I didn’t care. I just sat transfixed looking at the tiny miracle on the screen while his heartbeat filled the room.

  “You and the baby are both doing excellently,” the doctor said as he slowly pulled the instrument from inside me and the nurse pulled down my gown and gave me her hand to pull me up.

  “A little blood tinged discharge is perfectly normal after this procedure so don’t be alarmed,” the doctor said, standing up and going over to the sink to wash his hands.

  “Keep taking those prenatal vitamins and come back to see me in four weeks.”

  I nodded. I was still in awe.

  “Here you go,” the nurse said, handing me a small pictures from my ultrasound.

  “These are mine?” I asked, looking down at the pictures of my baby.

  “Of course they are,” she replied with an amused tone.

  “Thank you,” I said as I looked at each one and found the small pea I knew was alive inside me.

  “You’re welcome.” She patted my knee. “You can get dressed now. Everything looks great.”

  I nodded and wiped away another tear that had broken free and was rolling down my face.

  Rush

  “Where is she, Bethy?” I demanded walking out of Blaire’s bedroom holding her cell phone. She’d left it here.

  Bethy snarled at me and slammed a kitchen cabinet door. “The fact your sorry ass doesn’t know where she is only makes me hate you more.”

  What the fuck was wrong with her? I’d had a day from hell. Telling my mom she had to get another house and then telling them I was going to ask Blaire to marry me had sent them all into a wild rage. Well, not all of them. Blaire’s father had seemed fine with it. Nan and my mother had gone ballistic. We’d spent several hours yelling at each other and I’d made threats I intended to keep. Nan was supposed to leave to go back to school on Monday. She’d be gone until winter break and I was sure she’d end up in Vail with friends then. It was what she did every year. Normally I went too but not this year.

  “I’ve had to deal with my mother and sister for the past four hours. Kicking Georgianna out of the house and informing her and Nan I intend to ask Blaire to marry me isn’t exactly an easy battle. So forgive me if I need a little help remembering where Blaire is!”

  Bethy thumped the bottle of water down on the bar and her angry snarl became more of a disgusted frown. I’d thought once she heard I was going to propose to Blaire that she’d be happy. Apparently not.

  “I hope you didn’t buy a ring,” was her only response.

  I was tired of her games. “Tell me where she is,” I roared.

  Bethy put both her hands on the bar and leaned forward giving me a furious scowl I didn’t know the girl was capable of. “Go. To. Hell.”

  Fuck. What had I done?

  The door opened and Blaire came walking in smiling until her eyes met mine. Then her smile faltered. She was mad at me too. Not good.

  “Blaire,” I said as I walked toward her and she started backing up.

  “Don’t,” she replied, holding up both her hands to stop me from coming closer.

  She was holding something. It looked like pictures. What the hell did she have pictures of? Was it something from my past? Was she pissed about some girl I’d done something with once?

  “Is that what I think it is?” Bethy asked pushing past me and running to Blaire.

  Blaire nodded and handed her the pictures. Bethy covered her mouth. “Oh my God. Did you hear the heartbeat?”

  At the words “heartbeat” my chest felt as if it had just been ripped wide open. Understanding dawned on me. Today was Thursday. It was Blaire’s doctor’s appointment. She’d called to remind me and I’d hung up on her.

  “Blaire, shit baby, I am so sorry. I w
as dealing with my—”

  “Your family. I know. Nan told me when I called back. I don’t want to hear your excuses. I just want you to leave.” Her voice was flat. There was no emotion in it.

  She turned her attention back to the pictures and pointed to something. “Right there. Can you believe that’s inside me?”

  Bethy turned her hateful scowl from me to the picture and a soft smile touched her face. “It’s amazing.”

  They were standing there looking at pictures of my baby. Blaire had heard his heartbeat today. Alone. Without me.

  “Can I see?” I asked, scared she’d tell me no or worse, ignore me.

  Instead, she took the pictures from Bethy and handed them to me. “The little thing that looks like a pea. That’s… our baby,” she finished. She had been reluctant to call it our baby. I couldn’t blame her.

  “Was its heart okay? I mean, did it beat properly and everything?” I asked, staring down at the picture in my hand.

  “Yes. They said everything was perfect,” she replied. “If you want it you can keep that one. I have three. But I’d like for you to leave now.”

  I wasn’t leaving. Bethy standing guard wasn’t going to stop me either. I would say all this in front of Bethy if I had to but I refused to leave this condo.

  “My mother and your father showed up unannounced today. Nan leaves for college Monday. Mom thought I’d be leaving too so she was back to move in for the year. I informed her I wasn’t leaving and she’d need to find another home. I also informed them that I was staying until you decided you wanted us to move somewhere else. That I intended to ask you to marry me,” I paused and watched as her face paled. Not the reaction I was hoping for. “It didn’t go over well. There was a lot of yelling. Hours of screaming and threats. When you called me I had just announced to the three of them that I was going to marry you. All hell had broken loose. I was going to call you back once I had my mother and Abe back in their car and headed out of town. I didn’t want you to have to face either of them. But my mother doesn’t go down without a fight. Nan packed up and left for school this evening. She is refusing to ever speak to me again.” I stopped and took a breath.