Never Too Far

  “Shit,” Meg muttered. “Please tell me she’s nothing like your evil little sister.”

  Nan had very few fans. I didn’t even flinch at the accusation that she was evil. She’d brought this on herself. “No. She’s nothing like Nan.”

  Meg was quiet a moment and I wondered if this was as far as this conversation was going to go. Then she shifted her feet and pointed back toward the clubhouse. “Why don’t we go have some lunch and you can tell me all about this very strange situation and I’ll see if I can’t come up with some wisdom or at the very least female advice.”

  I needed any advice I could get. There were no females in my life I could ask for help. “Yeah, okay. Sounds good. You give me any advice I can use and lunch is on me.”

  Blaire

  This was the second day that I had woken up without getting sick. I’d even had Bethy cook bacon to test me out before I came in for the lunch shift. I figured if I could survive the bacon then I could do this. My stomach had rolled and I’d gotten nauseous but I hadn’t thrown up. I was getting better.

  I called Woods and assured him I would be fine. He told me to come on in because they were short staffed and he needed me. Jimmy was standing in the kitchen grinning when I walked in thirty minutes before the lunch shift.

  “There’s my girl. Glad that stomach virus has gone. You look like you lost ten pounds. How long were you sick?” Woods had told Jimmy and anyone else who asked that I had a virus and I was recovering. I’d only worked two shifts on the course and I never ran into kitchen staff while on the carts.

  “I probably did lose some weight. I’m sure I’ll gain it back soon enough,” I replied and hugged him.

  “You better or I’m shoving donuts down your throat until I can wrap my hands around your waist and have my fingers not touch.”

  That may be sooner than he realized. “I could use a good donut right now.”

  “It’s a date. After work. You, me, and a twelve pack. Half chocolate covered,” Jimmy said and handed me my apron.

  “Sounds good. You can come see my new place. I’m staying with Bethy in a condo on the club property.”

  Jimmy’s eyebrows shot up. “You don’t say. Well, well, well aren’t you highfalutin’?”

  I tied my apron on and tucked my pen and pad in my front pocket. “I’ll take the first round if you prep the salads and make the sweet tea.”

  Jimmy winked. “Deal.”

  I headed out to the dining room and luckily the only guests were two older gentlemen I’d seen before but I didn’t know their names. I took down their orders and poured them both a cup of coffee before heading back to check on the salads.

  Jimmy had two already made for me and was holding them up when I walked back into the kitchen. “Here ya go hot stuff,” he said.

  “Thanks gorgeous,” I replied taking the salads into the dining room. I delivered the salads and took the drink order of new guests. Then I headed back to get their sparkling water and spring water with lemon. No one ever just ordered water around here.

  Jimmy was heading out the kitchen door when I got there. “I just got the two women who look like they came off the tennis courts. I think I saw Hillary… isn’t that the hostess today? Anyway I think I saw her talking to more guests so there should be a table waiting to be greeted.”

  He saluted me and headed back to the dining room.

  I quickly finished getting the special waters and put the two orders of crab bisque the men had requested onto my tray thenreturned to the dining room when Jimmy’s panicked expression caught my attention.

  “I got this,” he said, reaching for my tray.

  “You don’t even know where it goes. I can carry a tray Jimmy,” I replied rolling my eyes. He didn’t even know I was pregnant and he was being silly…

  Then I saw him… or them. Jimmy wasn’t being silly. He was protecting me. Rush’s head was tilted forward as he talked about something that caused that intense serious expression on his face. The woman had long dark hair. She was gorgeous. Her cheekbones were high and perfect. Long heavy lashes outlined her dark eyes. I was going to be sick. My tray rattled and Jimmy was taking it from me. I let him. I was about to drop it.

  He wasn’t mine. But… I was carrying his baby. He didn’t know. But… he’d made love to me, no he’d fucked me, in Bethy’s bathroom just three days ago. This hurt. So bad. I swallowed but my throat felt almost closed. Jimmy was saying something to me but I couldn’t understand him. I was unable to do anything but stare at them. He leaned in so close to her like he didn’t want anyone to hear what he was saying.

  Her eyes shifted from Rush’s and they met mine. I hated her. She was beautiful and refined and everything I wasn’t. She was a woman. I was a girl. A pathetic girl. Who needed to get the hell out of here and stop making a scene. Even if it was a silent scene, I was still just standing frozen staring at them. She studied me and a small frown creased her forehead. I didn’t want her asking Rush about me and pointing me out. I spun around and fled the dining room.

  As soon as I was out of the guests’ view, I broke into a run and ran right into Woods’ hard chest. “Whoa there sweetheart. Where are you running off to? Still too much for you?” he asked sticking his finger under my chin and tilting my head up so he could see my face.

  I shook my head and a tear escaped. I was not going to cry about this, dammit. I’d asked for it. I’d pushed him away. I’d walked out on him after the amazing sex. What did I expect? That he’d sit around pining for me? Hardly. “I’m sorry, Woods. Just give me a minute and I’ll be fine. I promise you. I just need a moment to get myself together.”

  He nodded and ran a hand up and down my arm in a comforting way. “Is Rush in there?” he asked almost hesitantly.

  “Yeah,” I choked out, forcing the tears filling my eyes to go away. I took a deep breath and blinked them away. I wasn’t going to do this. I was going to control my crazy emotions.

  “Is he with someone?” Woods asked.

  I just nodded. I didn’t want to say it.

  “You want to go to my office and chill out a bit? Wait until they’re gone?”

  Yes. I wanted to go hide from this but I couldn’t. I had to learn to live with it. Rush would be in Rosemary for another month. I had to learn to deal. “I can do this. It was just a surprise. That’s all.”

  Woods lifted his gaze from mine and a cold expression came over his face. “Go away. This is not what she needs right now,” Woods said in a hard angry tone.

  “Get your mother fucking hands off her,” Rush replied.

  I stepped back from Woods’ embrace and kept my eyes down. I didn’t want to see him but I also didn’t want him and Woods fighting either. Woods looked ready to fight for my honor. I had no idea how Rush looked because I wasn’t going to check and see.

  “I’m fine Woods. Thank you. I’ll get back to work,” I mumbled and started to head back to the kitchen.

  “Blaire, don’t. Talk to me,” Rush pleaded.

  “You’ve done enough. Leave her the hell alone, Rush. She doesn’t need this from you. Not now,” Woods barked.

  “You don’t know anything,” Rush growled and Woods took a step in Rush’s direction. Woods was either going to blurt out that I was pregnant and make it very obvious that he did know something or he was going to start throwing punches with Rush. It was once again time for me to get over this and fix it.

  I turned back and went to stand in front of Rush. I looked up at Woods. “It’s okay. Just give me a minute with him. It’ll be okay. He didn’t do anything wrong. I was just being emotional. That’s all,” I told him.

  Woods’ jaw worked back and forth as he ground his teeth. Keeping his mouth shut was proving difficult for him. He finally nodded and stalked away.

  I had to face Rush now.

  “Blaire,” Rush said gently as his hand reached out and grabbed mine. “Please look at me.”

  I could do this. I had to do this. I turned around letting Rush continue holding my hand
in his. I should remove it but I couldn’t just yet. I’d seen him with a woman who was probably keeping his bed warm at night while I continued to push him away. I was losing him. So was our baby. But then… had we ever really had him?

  I lifted my eyes and met his worried gaze. He didn’t like upsetting me. I loved that about him. “It’s okay. I overreacted. I was just, um, surprised is all. I should have known you’d have moved on by now. I just—”

  “Stop it,” Rush interrupted me and pulled me up against him. “I haven’t moved anywhere. What you think you saw you didn’t. Meg is an old friend. That is all. She means nothing to me. I came looking for you. I needed to see you and I went to play golf. You weren’t there. I ran into Meg and she suggested we have lunch. That’s it. I had no idea you were in here working. I’d have never done that. Even though I wasn’t doing anything. I love you Blaire. Just you. I’m not with anyone else. I never will be.”

  I wanted to believe him. As selfish and wrong as it was I wanted to believe he loved me enough not to need anyone else. Even if I was pushing him away from me. I was lying to him. I hated liars. He would hate me too if I didn’t tell him soon. I didn’t want him to hate me. But I couldn’t trust him. Did lying make that okay? Was lying ever okay? How could he ever trust me?

  “I’m pregnant.” The words came out of me before I realized what I was doing. I covered my mouth in horror as Rush’s eyes went wide. Then I turned and ran like hell.

  Rush

  My feet were cemented to the floor. Even as I watched Blaire running away from me I couldn’t move. Had I just dreamed that? Was it a desperate hallucination? Was I getting that bad?

  “If you aren’t going after her I am.” Woods’ voice broke into my thoughts and I snapped out of my shocked haze.

  “What?” I asked, glaring at him. I hated him. Beating his face in was something I was suddenly fantasizing about.

  “I said, if you aren’t going after her I am. She needs someone right now. As much as I don’t want it to be you because I don’t think you deserve her it needs to be you.”

  Did he know she was pregnant? My blood started to boil. Had she told Woods she was pregnant and hadn’t told me?

  “I was here the first morning she tried to work and the smell of bacon sent her scrambling to the restroom to vomit. So, yeah I already knew. Get that crazed possessive gleam out of your eyes and go get her.” Woods’ tone was laced with disgust.

  “She’s been sick?” I hadn’t known she was sick. My chest hurt. She’d been sick alone. I’d left her alone and she’d been suffering. Air wasn’t getting to my lungs.

  “Yeah, you stupid shit, she’s been sick. That happens in her situation. But she’s getting better. Now I’m about to turn and go after her. Make your move,” Woods warned.

  I broke into a run.

  It wasn’t until I exited the building in the back and looked up the hill that I found her. She was still running. It was toward the condos. She was going back to her place. I went after her. She was pregnant. Should she be running like this? What if it was bad for the baby? She needed to slow down.

  “Blaire, stop. Wait,” I called out when I was close enough. She slowed down and finally stopped as I caught up with her.

  “I’m sorry,” she sobbed with her face in her hands.

  “What are you sorry for?” I asked, closing the distance between us and pulling her against me. I wasn’t worried about scaring her off anymore. I wasn’t letting her go anywhere.

  “This. Everything. My being pregnant,” she whispered, stiff in my arms.

  She was sorry. No. She wasn’t going to be sorry for that. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Don’t ever apologize to me again. Do you hear me?”

  Some of the tension in her body eased and she leaned against me. “But I didn’t tell you.”

  No, she hadn’t but I understood. It sucked but I understood. “I wish you had. I’d have never let you be sick on your own. I’d have taken care of you. I’m going to take care of you now. I’ll make up for it. I swear.”

  Blaire shook her head and pushed away from me. “No. I can’t. We can’t do this. I didn’t tell you for a reason. We… we need to talk.”

  I was taking care of her and she wasn’t leaving me. But if she needed to talk about it then I’d let her. “Okay. Let’s go to your place since we’re so close.”

  Blaire nodded and turned to walk toward the condo she’d been running for earlier. Jace had said Woods was letting them stay there for the same amount as Bethy’s old apartment. He thought Woods was thinking of using it as a tax write off or something. I understood now. He’d been doing it for Blaire. He’d been taking care of her. Not anymore he wasn’t. I was taking care of what was mine. I didn’t need Woods doing it. I’d go talk to Woods later but I’d be paying the prime amount for rent on this place. Woods was not taking care of Blaire. She was mine.

  I watched as she bent down and got the key from under the mat. That had to be the worst hiding spot ever for a key. I’d deal with that later too. I wasn’t going to be able to sleep at night knowing she had a key tucked under her front door mat for anyone to walk in on her.

  Blaire opened the door and stepped back. “Come on in.”

  I stepped inside and took her hand with me as I passed her. She might want to tell me all the reasons we couldn’t be together but I was going to be touching her while she talked. I needed to know she was okay. Touching her calmed me down.

  She closed the door and let me pull her over to the sofa. I sat down and pulled her down beside me. I wanted to put her in my lap but the worried, nervous look on her face stopped me. She needed to talk and I was going to let her.

  “I should have told you. I’m sorry I didn’t. I was going to; maybe not the way I did today but I was going to tell you. I just needed time to decide on where I was going to go next and what I was going to do with my life. I wanted to save up and go start somewhere new. For the baby. But I was going to tell you.”

  She was going to tell me and then leave me? Panic gripped me. She couldn’t do that. “You can’t leave me,” I said as plainly as I could. She needed to understand that.

  Blaire dropped her gaze from mine and studied our hands. I’d laced my fingers through hers. It was all that was keeping me calm at the moment. “Rush,” she said softly. “I don’t want my baby to ever feel unwanted. Your family...” she trailed off and her face had gone pale.

  “My family will accept what I tell them to accept. If they don’t I will take you and my baby and leave them to pay all their own damn bills. You come first, Blaire.”

  She shook her head and tugged her hand loose from mine as she stood up. “No. You say that now but it isn’t true. It wasn’t true a month ago and it isn’t true now. You will always choose them over me. Or at least you will Nan and that’s okay. I understand; I just can’t live with it. I can’t stay here.”

  Not telling her about her dad was going to haunt me for the rest of my life. My need to protect Nan had fucked up the only thing important to me. I stood up and walked toward her as she backed up until she was against the wall. “No. One. Comes. Before. You.”

  Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears and she shook her head. I hated that she couldn’t believe me.

  “I love you. When you walked into my life I didn’t know you. Nan was my first priority. But you changed that. You changed everything. I was going to tell you but my mom came home too soon. I was so scared to death of losing you that I lost you anyway. Nothing is going to take you away from me again. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I love you. You and this baby,” I touched her flat stomach and she trembled, “come first.”

  “I want to believe you,” she said through a sob.

  “Let me prove it to you. Leaving me doesn’t let me prove anything. You have to stay with me, Blaire. You have to give me a chance.”

  A tear slipped free and rolled down her face. “I’m gonna get big and fat. Babies cry all night and they cost money. I won’t be the sa
me. We won’t be the same. You’ll regret it.”

  She really didn’t have a clue. No matter how many times I told her, she didn’t believe me. She’d lost everyone in her life she’d loved and trusted. Why should she believe me? The only men in her life had left her. Betrayed her. She expected nothing else.

  “This baby brought you back to me. It’s a part of us. I will never regret it. And you can get as big as a whale and I’ll love you anyway.”

  A small smile tugged on her lips. “I better not get as big as a whale.”

  I shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.”

  Her small smile quickly left. “Your sister. She’s going to hate this. Me. The baby.”

  I would deal with Nan. If she couldn’t cope then I’d take Blaire and we’d go somewhere far away from my sister. Blaire had been upset enough. I wasn’t letting anyone else hurt her. “Trust me to protect you and put you first.”

  Blaire closed her eyes and then nodded.

  My chest swelled and I wanted to shout to the world that this woman was mine. But instead I picked her up. “Where’s your bedroom?” I asked.

  “The last room on the left.”

  I walked back there. I wouldn’t make love to her right now but I needed to hold her for awhile. I pushed the door open and I froze. The bedroom was a nice size for a condo but the blanket on the floor with a single pillow was just one more strike against me. When I’d moved them I had known Blaire didn’t have a bed. She’d been sleeping on the couch. But I had been so wrapped up in getting her back I hadn’t thought about her needing a bed.

  “I haven’t got a bed yet. I could’ve just slept on the couch but I wanted to sleep in my own room.” Blaire mumbled, trying to get down out of my arms. I wasn’t letting her go. I held her tighter against me. She’d slept on the hard ground last night while I’d been sleeping in my big king size bed. Fuck.