Kinko de Mayo [Suncoast Society] (Siren Publishing Sensations), Page 3

  He was also a helluva husband.

  “I know I should just get it done and get it over with,” she whispered against his chest, “but it feels like I’m giving up and giving in if I do.”

  He buried his face in her hair. “It’s your decision, sweetheart. But the doctor did say it would end your pain. Cris and I don’t mind striping your ass, but it tears us up inside when you’re hurting in the bad way, and we can’t fix it. I’m not blind. It’s getting worse with every month that passes.”

  “I know.”

  “Then don’t think of it as giving up and giving in. Think of it as taking control and taking your life back. Let Cris and I take care of you for a change. You take excellent care of us. Let us be at your beck and call for a few weeks or however long it takes for recovery.”

  For a sadist, he really did have a sweet, gooey center that only she and Cris usually got to see.

  “I’m still thinking about it.”

  He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I know you wanted children. And if you still want them, we can always pursue other avenues. Surrogacy, adoption. Whatever you want.”

  “I wanted my life not to be fucked up by that monster when I was a kid,” she whispered against him.

  His embrace tightened around her. “Love, were it in my power, he would disappear from the face of the planet by my own hands. I hate seeing you so miserable, and I’m helpless to make this better for you.”

  “Some things can’t be made better,” she quietly said. “Sometimes they can only be made right.”

  “You have shouldered so much of this burden alone, on your own. Let us in. Let us support you in this. Let’s go back to the doctor one last time and let her talk to all three of us. It is, obviously, your decision. But Cris and I want to be there for you, by your side.”

  “You’d think since I’m such a tough bitch, that a fairly routine surgery like that wouldn’t scare the fuck out of me.”

  “Is it the surgery that scares you, or the decision?”

  She snuggled just a tiny bit closer to him. “Yes,” she whispered. “It’s final. It’s done, and there’s no going back. And I can’t seem to force myself to make that decision.”

  Cris stuck his head out through the sliders. “Everything all right?”

  Landry crooked a finger at him to join them, holding out an arm to include him in their embrace. He filled Cris in.

  Cris kissed the top of her head. “Redbird,” he said, his tone all Cris the Master and not Cris, Landry’s slave. “We’ve had this discussion. I love you. We love you. If you’re in pain and this is something that can take away your pain, then let the doctor do it. It’s not giving in. You aren’t that teenaged girl anymore. This is us, your men. We love you, and we’re telling you that we’re okay with you getting the hysterectomy if it’ll stop your pain every month.”

  She didn’t want to break down crying. It was bad enough she felt like she was wussing out like this at their friends’ party. This was an at-home kind of conversation, one that should be held in private, not out on someone else’s lanai during a Kinko De Mayo party.

  “I know,” she said.

  “Then like he said, make another appointment. We’ll go with you, we’ll all talk to the doctor, and then we’ll make the decision together. Okay?”

  She let out a heavy, leaden sigh. “Okay.”

  Landry, then Cris, kissed her. “I never want you to do anything that’s not in your best interests,” Landry said. “But as you often told me during my own treatments, just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean I don’t need it.”

  “That’s not fair, using my own logic and words against me,” she said.

  He smiled. “I’m a sadist. Who ever said anything about me being fair?”

  Chapter Five

  Leah stared out the car window as Seth drove.

  “You sure you’re feeling all right, babe?”

  “I’m fine.” She turned to look at him. “Like I said, it’s just one of those little moods. It’ll pass. It’s not a bad thing.”

  She loved Seth to death for how he loved her and took care of her, but this was just one of those things. It wasn’t anything he could fix for her.

  It was better that he couldn’t. Some things she could process her way through, in her own time.

  Tonight would be about letting loose, having fun, enjoying her friends. Life was short, damned short, something she sadly knew all too well.

  That morning, she’d been working on a flier on the computer in the den, for one of the charities she fundraised for. They were holding a Fourth of July benefit, and she needed to get the copy ready to go to the printer.

  It was also the computer Kaden had used.

  That’d led to her stumbling down a rabbit hole when she’d accidentally clicked on the wrong user when she logged in…

  And ended up in Kaden’s user profile by mistake since she’d used the same password he had.

  She’d been sitting there two hours later when Seth found her in the office, softly weeping as she watched video after video that Kaden had prepared and left for her and Seth, videos he’d mostly filmed while he was still in relatively good health, before the pancreatic cancer had ravaged his body and left him a shell of the man he’d been.

  Seth had wanted to immediately take her to the playroom for a session, but she convinced him to hear her out, to listen to her, to not freak out. That it was a healthy thing that she could sit and watch the videos and cry without needing any extra assistance.

  It was the good kind of crying, cathartic, helpful.

  Cleansing.

  Kaden would always be the love of her life. Her Master. Not just her husband.

  She didn’t think of herself a widow, even though that’s what the rest of the world labelled her. In her heart, Kaden would always live on as her Master, and she’d always carry forward the things he’d taught her in their years together.

  Some of them things that she’d had to teach Seth and pass on to him, both before and after Kaden’s death.

  Seth had come into his own, found his way, set his own path with her. But it was a path first started and blazed by Kaden, in his teachings to Seth, and to her.

  It was something she was good with, the slight divergence, Seth’s own spin on things. She didn’t expect Seth to be Kaden, or to replace him. Not even take his place. To form his own role, define it his way, and define their dynamic together? Yes.

  That he had, and he’d done damn well, too, considering what a difficult time he’d had wrapping his head around everything in the beginning.

  “You call the evening,” Seth insisted. “If you decide you want to leave, just say so and—”

  She reached over and patted his thigh. “I’m good, Sir,” she said. “Now let’s plan on enjoying ourselves. You promised me you’d stop stressing. If I need something, I’ll tell you. And right now, I’m good.”

  “If you don’t feel up to play—”

  She threw her hands up in the air. “Seth, oh my god, would you please stop fucking stressing out!”

  The car swerved a little as her yell startled him.

  “Sorry,” he mumbled.

  She took a deep breath and tried again. “You know how some masochists get used to a certain level of pain, so they start to need heavier and heavier play? Kind of like a drug addict? It’s the same for my grief. I hit that high-water mark, and frankly? Anything else right now is easy to deal with in comparison. I’m not saying it’s fun or that I’m enjoying going through it, but honestly? I feel for the first time in my life that I do have a grip on things in a way I never did before.”

  She reached out again, squeezing his thigh. “And that’s because of you, and your love for me, and how well you’ve taken care of me and guided me through this. No, I never would have made it through losing him without you. He was absolutely right about that. If I didn’t outright kill myself, I would have died from starvation and dehydration, because I would have curled up in a ball somewhere and
waited to die. Literally.

  “You kept me alive, kept me marching forward, just the way he wanted you to. We kept each other going. And that’s what matters. We made it through to the other side and we’re still going strong. Together.” She patted his thigh. “I want to enjoy tonight. I want to play. I want us to be us. I don’t need you in caretaker mode. I need you in Master mode, Sir.”

  “Sorry. I know I get a little intense about it sometimes.”

  She arched an eyebrow at him. “Sometimes?”

  “A lot of times.”

  “And I love you for it.”

  He laced his fingers through hers, gently squeezing. “I love you, too. And yes, you kept me going, too.”

  She squeezed back. “I know. That’s why we’re so perfect for each other.”

  * * * *

  When they arrived and got settled in, Leah noticed Tilly didn’t appear to be feeling quite like herself. Not anything in particular Leah could put her finger on, just…something.

  Before too many other people arrived, Leah caught her friend’s arm and pulled her into the guest bedroom with her, closing the door after them.

  “What’s going on?” Leah asked. “What’s wrong?”

  Tilly’s facade shattered. As they both sat on the bed, Tilly tearfully confessed her problems.

  Problems Leah could, unfortunately, sympathize all too well with.

  Holding her friend, Leah gently rocked her. “If you want any of us to go with you, too, me or Loren or anyone, just let us know.”

  “Thanks,” Tilly said, trying to pull herself together. “Probably not. Landry and Cris, I think, want to talk me into getting it done because the doctor said it’ll stop my pain.”

  “The physical pain, yes. The only way through the mental pain is through it.” She tucked Tilly’s hair behind her ears. “But you’re a tough bitch,” Leah gently said. “I know you can get through this. And your guys are right. This isn’t giving in. This is choosing not to suffer. And like you always joke, you have kids, two of them, and their names are Cris and Landry.”

  That finally coaxed a smile out of Tilly. “True.”

  “Honestly, I don’t know how you do it,” Leah teased. “I’d probably kill one or both of them.”

  “Divide and conquer,” she joked. “I sic one of them on the other and watch them go after each other. It’s fun. Until Landry plays the Master card and then shuts Cris down. That’s when they gang up on me again.”

  “Any time you need to talk, I’m here. We’re sort of in that same club.”

  “Thanks. I hate bothering you. You’ve…had enough to deal with without listening to me kvetch about something like this.”

  “Hey, no. It’s not like that at all. We’re friends. I’d be upset if you didn’t think you could lean on me for support. Seriously.”

  “Thanks.”

  Tilly, not one for a lot of makeup anyway, washed her face in the en suite bathroom and took a deep breath before emerging.

  “Feeling better?” Leah asked her.

  “I guess. I should just do it and get it over with and admit that’s it. Get on with my life.”

  “That’s one way of looking at it. But the other way of looking at it is that you’re handling life on your terms and no one else’s. You’re calling the shots.”

  “Just wish I hadn’t been put in this position in the first place, you know?”

  “I know.” She hugged Tilly. “Not exactly a club it’s fun to be in. But we survived, we thrived, we went on to be happy and live our lives. That’s the biggest fuck-you to those assholes there ever could be.”

  “Amen.”

  Chapter Six

  Scrye sent June inside with the casserole they’d brought for their contribution to the pot luck while he wrangled their bags and the surprise he had for everyone.

  A friend of Scrye’s, a man going through a nasty divorce to his former slave, had contacted Scrye earlier that week looking to make some quick cash selling some things.

  Kinky things.

  Expensive kinky things, for pennies on the dollar, including a Sybian.

  Which, for the cash price of five hundred dollars, including the unit and the attachments, was a deal that Scrye couldn’t pass up. June had expressed her doubts at first.

  But then when he’d set it up for her and put her on it to ride it, he damn near liked to never have gotten her off.

  Eh, off the device. She got off, all right. At least fifteen times before he stopped counting because he was standing there with his cock buried all the way to the root in her eager mouth.

  No, it wouldn’t be a toy they’d use at the club. But he didn’t mind bringing it to the small, private parties like this.

  He couldn’t wait to see who would use it and what they thought about it.

  He had to make two trips, the first for their bags and the second for the Sybian. When he brought it in and set it on the floor in their living room, Max, Sean, and Cali gathered around.

  “Is that what I think it is?” Cali asked.

  “Yep,” June said. “And heeellooo, baby, is it fun.”

  “The toys clean up with soap and water,” Scrye assured her. “And we’ll use condoms on them.”

  “How does it work?” Cali asked. “I’ve never seen one in real life.”

  “Oh, here. I’ll show you.” He stuck one of the dildo attachments to the top of it, plugged it into a nearby wall outlet, and used the controller to turn it on. It vibrated, and the dildo started rotating.

  While he was demonstrating it, Baxter slowly approached, eyeing the thing. Before long, everyone there was gathered around, watching the cat stalking the rotating dildo.

  Scrye turned the vibration down and slowed down the rotation, making Baxter hesitate, but draw closer. The cat finally reached out and tentatively swatted at the dildo with a paw when Scrye jacked up the speed, making Baxter leap straight into the air and sending the room into peals of laughter.

  For about fifteen minutes, Baxter dueled with the Sybian until, finally, Cali realized they’d all be sitting there the entire night playing with the wrong kind of pussy if she didn’t lock Baxter up.

  She scooped her cat into her arms. “Okay, show’s over. Time for someone to have his time out. And I got you some great catnip to enjoy.” She carried him into the bedroom that served as their home office, where she’d already put his litter box, a bowl of food, and his water, in addition to toys and a pile of catnip for him to roll around in.

  She felt a little badly about locking him up, but didn’t want to risk him slipping through the front door with their guests going in and out, or accidentally interfering in a scene the way he almost did with Sean and Max earlier.

  When she returned to the living room, Scrye grinned. “Want a ride?”

  “Not right now, thanks.”

  “Sorry Baxter had to go up,” June said. “I love the pictures you guys post of him. Easter was hys—”

  “Shh!” Max and Sean both said, waving their hands.

  “That’s a sore topic for her,” Max said.

  Cali rolled her eyes and headed out onto the lanai to see if anyone needed anything.

  * * * *

  Essie had settled into a comfortable lounger on the lanai. Cali plopped down next to her in another one. “How are you doing?”

  Essie stroked her baby bump. Tonight, she wore a loose, flowing sundress. “Hanging in there. So, Sean makes a great human piñata. I can’t wait to see what the next theme will be.”

  “You looked at the website after I left, huh?”

  “It’s kind of part of my daily routine now. Roll out of bed, survive morning sickness, and check for new Baxter bondage pictures on your website.”

  “So how does that work, anyway?” Cali asked, knowing she could run this question past her friend. “After it’s born, do you do a DNA test to figure out which guy did the deed?”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet. I thought about maybe getting a DNA test and then having the
m seal it up and just locking it in a safe or something in case we ever needed it. And only then opening it up.”

  “Needing it why?”

  “You know, like if one of my guys ends up with something that there’s a genetic marker for, like coronary disease or cancer or something. Like that.”

  “Ah. But it doesn’t bother you not knowing which one is the father?”

  “You know, at first I wondered if it would. But it doesn’t. They don’t care. As far as all three of them are concerned, they’re all the dad. I guess if it mattered a lot to them, maybe.” She laughed. “Then again, by the time this pregnancy is over, I might want to know which one of them did it so I can kill him.”

  Cali laughed with her. “Well, there is that. And knowing which one did it to give the other two a chance later.”

  “Yeah, that, too. It’s not something I need to figure out just yet. Why? Still thinking about possible future logistics of your own?”

  Hence the crux of her personal dilemma right now. “I don’t know. I’m not sure I’ve decided yet one way or the other.”

  “Neither had I,” Essie joked.

  “Exactly why I want to be prepared and get the decision out of the way.”

  “Then you should ponder those ponderables now, before you have to worry about them. I still can’t believe it. Sometimes I’ll wake up and just lie there with my eyes closed and think nope, I’m not pregnant, that was a dream…and then morning sickness hits me and I bolt for the bathroom.”

  “Yeah, that sounds like the Chamber of Commerce pitch for pregnancy. ‘Here via oopsie? Then stay for the puking.’”

  Essie grinned. “Hey, now I’m playing lotto numbers every week. I’ve got to have some special kind of luck.”

  “Play some for me while you’re at it,” Cali said as she dragged herself out of the lounger to go greet more arriving guests.

  “Will do.”

  Cali headed inside to hug Mal and Kel, who’d just arrived and whose bondage frame it was Sean had been hanging from earlier that day. With their diverse mix of friends, Kinko de Mayo was sure to be a party to remember.