How It Was (Oath of Bane Book 6)

  HOW IT WAS

  (OATH OF BANE, BOOK 6)

  By T. S. JOYCE

  How It Was

  Copyright © 2021 by T. S. Joyce

  Copyright © 2021, T. S. Joyce

  First electronic publication: August 2021

  T. S. Joyce

  www.tsjoyce.com

  All rights are reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. No part of this book may be scanned, uploaded or distributed via the Internet or any other means, electronic or print, without the author’s permission.

  NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:

  This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locale or organizations is entirely coincidental. The author does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for third-party websites or their content.

  Published in the United States of America.

  Editor: Alyxandra Miller

  Other Books in this Series

  How It’s Supposed to Be (Book 1)

  How It Has to Be (Book 2)

  How It’s Meant to Be (Book 3)

  How It Is (Book 4)

  How It Will Be (Book 5)

  Contents

  Copyright

  Other Books in this Series

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Epilogue

  Up Next in this Series

  Newsletter Sign-Up

  More Series from this Author

  For More from this Author

  About the Author

  Prologue

  “How did they find out?” Tovlin yelled through the trees.

  Panting, Nuke pushed his legs harder and pumped his arms faster, ducking and dodging through the trees. The smell of fire filled his lungs, dredging up a long snarl from the monster that had awakened inside of him.

  “I don’t know,” he murmured. “I don’t fuckin’ know.”

  Another stream of fire rained down from the canopy above them, and he huffed in pain as the flames got too close and singed his skin.

  He didn’t know how they’d found out what he and his brothers were, but someone had. Hiding in the colds of Siberia to silence the animals hadn’t protected them at all.

  A roar rattled the earth and Nuke hunched and covered his ears. Nothing he and his brothers had been taught was true. They weren’t alone, and now this thing…this monster…was conjuring the darkness inside of him.

  He gritted his teeth and tried to swallow the snarl down, but he couldn’t. It was so damn cold out here, but he still couldn’t control the fire in his veins. He threw his head back and answered with a roar that shook snow from the trees.

  The woods were on fire, maybe for miles. Smoke hung heavy in the air, but he could still see Tovlin.

  “It has to be you,” Tov called. He’d stopped running and looked defeated. His dark eyes were somber and held more sadness than one man should bear.

  “No. No, no, no, we can outrun this,” Nuke said, slowing to wait for his brother.

  Tov shook his head. “Mine is too small.” He pointed to the sky. “That one is ancient. It has to be you.”

  Nuke looked back, and the dark sky was lit up with flames. Their home was burning. “Donathan! Lev!” He bellowed, to no answer.

  “They’re gone and you know it,” Tov said.

  Nuke’s heart sagged to the ground, and his body shook with despair. Why? Why was this happening? They’d controlled the animals. They hadn’t hurt anyone. They hadn’t done anything!

  “If it’s me, everything will burn,” Nuke said softly.

  Tov’s eyes were filled with ghosts as he said, “Everything already has.” He nodded. “It’s okay.”

  And Nuke knew what he meant. God, he knew what he meant and it ripped his heart out.

  It was okay that he would kill Tov.

  But it wasn’t okay. Not to Nuke.

  “Nuke,” Tov said, making his way toward him. “It all burns either way.” A spark of rage lit his face. “You aren’t like us. We were smaller. You were always the weapon. You were always Nuke. Kill this motherfucker, and live. Live for us.”

  Another roar rattled the woods, and the beating of wings created swirls of snow around them. Another line of fire trailed between Nuke and Tov.

  This thing had done a good job of splitting them all up. Smart. He couldn’t take five of them, but two? Maybe.

  Tov gave an empty smile through the flames. His teeth were sharper.

  “Tov, no,” Nuke said. Down to his soul, he was mourning. Already mourning.

  “We’re not burning in these woods, Nuke.” He pointed to the sky. “I want to go out up there.”

  “I won’t fucking do it!” Nuke yelled. “I won’t.” He jammed a finger down the mountain. “We’re going to run, and we’re going to live. Both of us.”

  Tov’s smile got wider and he shook his head. “No, brother. No more running. We go with honor.” The grin faded from his face, and was replaced by wave of darkness. “Honor me.”

  Tov’s body snapped and stretched and reformed into something ‘other.’ Something terrifying to anyone but Nuke. Tov was gone, and he’d done exactly what he’d intended—dredged Nuke’s monster from the deep.

  He couldn’t stop the change now. There was something worthy to fight, and that’s all his monster existed for.

  As the pain rippled through his body, Tov bunched his muscles and headed to war. He beat his wings against the air currents and felled trees as he crashed his way up into the sky.

  The monster didn’t care that Tov was his brother. He didn’t care about anything but destruction.

  Tov had called him a weapon, and that’s all Nuke had ever been.

  If it’s me, everything will burn.

  No.

  If it was Nuke’s monster, everything would burn.

  And burn, it did.

  Chapter One

  “Anaconda shifter.”

  Nuke gritted his teeth in annoyance. Asshole Amos had a tendency of showing up out of nowhere and tossing out guesses.

  “What does it matter what my animal is?”

  “Uuuuuh because there is a bet going on, and I want to win it. I’ll split the winnings with you.”

  Mostly he wanted to eat Amos, but his curiosity was piqued. “How much is the pot?”

  “Two hundred bucks. Even Ren took a guess.”

  “What did she guess?”

  “Tiger, but I told her she was superdumb because your growl doesn’t sound like a big cat. Plus, your eyes go weird when you’re pissed off. They aren’t the right color for a tiger.”

  “Are they dark now?” Nuke asked calmly as he glared Amos right in the face.

  The tall avian shifter ducked his gaze immediately. That’s what everyone did.

  “Is it an anaconda or not?” Amos asked.

  “Do you want me calling out your animal?”

  “I’m a motherfreaking bald eagle. I’m awesome. Why would I care if anyone find
s that out?” He waved his fingers at the sky. “I’m flying around peacocking all the time. There’s just no girls around here to see me in all my glory.”

  He frowned in the direction of their King’s house…eeeer…their Alpha? Fuck if Nuke knew the difference in Murders and Crews. He was here for selfish reasons that no one could ever find out.

  “I’m the last of my kind,” Amos said, leaning on the side of Nuke’s single-wide trailer.

  “Congratufuckinlations. You probably annoyed the rest of them into oblivion,” Nuke grumbled as he took another stack of boxes out of the back of his rust-red truck. “Besides, you aren’t the last of your kind. I’ve met three female bald eagle sifters.” Lie. It was a lie, but watching the change in Amos’s face was entertaining.

  “Wait, what?” Amos demanded. His eyes were all dumb and full of hope right now. “Were any of them blonde? Please God, say one was a blonde! Or two of them. Or three. Were they triplets?”

  Nuke thought about telling him he was just messing with him, but Amos had been working on his last nerve since Krome had these old-ass trailers dragged onto the back of his property for the new Crew members. Besides, maybe now he would waste his time trying to track down a girlfriend instead of playing the guessing game with Nuke’s animal. “Yeah, all blonde and probably triplets,” Nuke tossed out as he muscled the moving boxes into his trailer.

  He’d taken the mobile home on the end because, well…frankly, being in the middle of a bunch of male shifters hyped up on testosterone, beer, and bad decisions was probably not the best idea for his animal’s patience.

  Besides, no one else had wanted this trailer. Krome had gotten it for dirt-cheap because it was falling apart, but Nuke wasn’t afraid of fixing it up. Plus, if rent was lower, it left him more money for food, and he was a black hole for that. Keeping himself fed and the animal sated was a full-time job. It was eight in the morning, and he’d already had three meals.

  “So by blonde, do you mean dirty blonde, or platinum, or—”

  Slam!

  Nuke kicked the door shut on Amos’s idiot face, and then dropped the boxes in the middle of the room.

  “You’re definitely a reptile shifter because you’re so fuckin’ rude!” Amos called through the door.

  He’d been called worse.

  The trailer was no castle, but it felt like a good enough spot to him. He could probably sleep for a week. It had been a long year and there had been no time to just…breathe.

  A mouse scampered across the floor and disappeared behind the mini-fridge he’d found on clearance at the general store in town. Nuke narrowed his eyes at where the critter had disappeared. Great. He couldn’t wait to find little turds in his cereal.

  He hated mice, but it was nothing personal against the tiny creature. In all fairness, he hated most things.

  A knock sounded on the door.

  He was going to kill Amos. Nuke nodded to himself, because murder sounded like a great plan right about now, and yanked the door open. He was going to kill Amos.

  A girl stood there. No, not a girl. A woman. She didn’t wear any make-up, and her honey-colored hair was a mess on top of her head. She had a big birthmark down the left side of her face, and her eyes were red like she’d been crying.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Ummmm…” She looked around, but probably saw what he did. No one was here but him and Amos, and Amos was probably in his trailer right now internet stalking blonde triplets who only sang in eagle screeches. “I’m looking for Lauren Tobias. I think she lives here, but I don’t know what trailer. I knocked on all of them and no one answered, and I’m so sorry to bother you.”

  The woman trained her eyes on the ground. He didn’t like it, but that’s what everyone did around him.

  Gruffly, he said, “I don’t know who Lauren Tobias is. I think you’re at the wrong spot, lady.”

  He moved to shut the door, but she said, “I think she goes by Ren sometimes.”

  Oh. Ren. The mate of Bron. Nuke opened the door wider and pointed to the second dirt road from the left that would lead to Bron’s cabin. “That-a-way.”

  The woman frowned at the spiderweb of roads. “I think I’ve been down all of those and I’m confused on direction now.”

  Huh. “A helpless one, great.”

  Her eyes flashed with anger and dropped back down to the ground. Softly, she said, “I’m not helpless.”

  Okay. She had some grit behind those words.

  “I’ll take you,” Amos called from where he’d opened his trailer door a couple buildings down. “I can take you to Ren. She’s about to head to work in an hour, so I’ll get you there fast.” He jogged down the stairs, mussing his hair with his fingertips. “Sorry for the reptile,” he told her. “Nuke is the cactus of the trailer park.”

  He didn’t know what that meant, but fuck Amos.

  “You’re Nuke?” the woman asked softly.

  Nuke narrowed his eyes. He didn’t like people knowing who he was.

  Fine. Amos should take her. This wasn’t his circus, and they certainly weren’t his monkeys. It was moving day and he was busy. But just as he went to shut the door, Amos introduced himself and said, “I’m single.”

  Nuke caught the door inches from closing. Shhhhhit. He rolled his eyes heavenward and prayed for patience not to light this entire trailer park on fire today. “I’ll take you,” he growled out in irritation.

  He hopped from the door three feet down to the ground.

  “Why don’t you have stairs on your trailer?” the woman asked.

  “Because it keeps idiots out,” he grumbled, tossing Amos a look.

  The splinter lurched forward like he would hit Nuke, but Nuke was ready for it. He offered Amos an eye roll and strode for the woman’s car.

  “You left your door open,” she said softly behind him.

  “Maybe the mice will take the hint and leave.”

  “But…what if someone steals your stuff?”

  He shrugged without turning around. “I don’t have anything worth stealing.”

  “Komodo Dragon,” Amos called from behind him.

  Nuke lifted a middle finger into the air, and then opened the woman’s door for her.

  “Oh, thank you,” she whispered. Mouse. She was a submissive mouse. And probably human. She didn’t smell like fur and her eyes were a soft and utterly human green color. “Sorry my car is messy. It’s…” She gestured to the full back seat. It was full of black trash bags. “It’s all I own.”

  Nuke rested his hands on his hips and sighed as he studied her full car. Even the passenger seat was full. “Are you running from something?” he asked.

  She shrugged. “Mostly from life.”

  Well, he knew all about that.

  She began to struggle the small suitcase from her front seat into the back, but he stopped her. “I’ll walk, don’t bother with that. Just follow me.”

  “Oh. Okay. Sorry.”

  Mouse, mouse, mouse. “Don’t apologize anymore. You aren’t doing anything wrong.” Nuke didn’t mean for his tone to come out so harsh, but he hated that. Hated when people apologized for nothing. It was a filler, not a real apology.

  “S-sorry.” She shook her head hard, and whispered it again, as if she was glitching.

  He studied the woman more closely. Something was wrong with her. She felt…sad? Scared? Too submissive for her own good, absolutely, but there were more layers.

  She had medium brown hair with some blonde highlights that had grown out a few inches. Her dark lashes were so long, they brushed her cheeks when she blinked. Her cheeks were red with a blush, and her green eyes were rimmed with that red that told him she’d been upset before she’d come knocking on his door. She wore a light gray hoodie with a darker gray glittery logo on it, and leggings that hugged her hourglass figure. A pair of flip-flops showed off an old pedicure where her white toenail polish was chipping. When she looked up at him, she looked like she was about to cry. Because of the apology-glitch?<
br />
  “It’s been a really long few weeks,” she whispered.

  Okay. Okay. She was probably going to Ren for some help, so okay. His stone heart cracked a little, just on the edge.

  “Everything will be all right,” he told her, because when a person was at the end of their rope, those five words were the only anchor that mattered. He’d figured that out a long time ago.

  And then he shut her door for her, and without looking back, he strode down the dirt road that would lead the woman to Ren.

  Chapter Two

  Nuke.

  She’d heard rumors about a Nuke. Was he the same one?

  Trina eased her foot onto the gas and compared the man in front of her to the legend. Nights by a campfire, two glasses of wine deep, she’d heard tales of a shifter who felt bigger than any other. Who growled like nothing anyone had ever heard, and was stronger in his human form than Paul Bunyan himself. They said there was an evil in him the likes of which no one had seen.

  Nuke strode smoothly up the dirt road ahead of her, eating up distance with a predator’s stride. Too graceful, too powerful, too sure-footed to be human. His medium brown hair was long enough to brush the neck of his gray cotton shirt. The tan skin of his arms glistened with a thin sheen of sweat, but that was probably from working in the abnormally warm morning. She’d noticed all the moving boxes. He seemed about halfway done unloading the red old Highboy pickup truck parked in the gravel space in front of his single-wide.

  His legs were long and strong and powerful, and though he was lean, he was cut with muscle, with wide shoulders and a V-shaped waist.

  He cast a glance to the woods on his left, and his profile struck her with a zing of electricity. His jaw was sharp, and angled, and the two-day scruff on his face looked like it belonged in some designer magazine. His nose was straight and strong, and his cheekbones high. He swung his gaze back toward the road he walked, and she became hypnotized by his gait. He didn’t stumble on the uneven terrain, he didn’t hesitate as he took her on each turn to a new dirt road, and there was a confidence in his stride she wished she could harness.