Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Page 24

  CHAPTER XXI.

  IT was after sun-up now, but we went right on and didn't tie up. ?Theking and the duke turned out by and by looking pretty rusty; but afterthey'd jumped overboard and took a swim it chippered them up a gooddeal. After breakfast the king he took a seat on the corner of the raft,and pulled off his boots and rolled up his britches, and let his legsdangle in the water, so as to be comfortable, and lit his pipe, and wentto getting his Romeo and Juliet by heart. ?When he had got it prettygood him and the duke begun to practice it together. ?The duke had tolearn him over and over again how to say every speech; and he made himsigh, and put his hand on his heart, and after a while he said he doneit pretty well; "only," he says, "you mustn't bellow out _Romeo_!that way, like a bull--you must say it soft and sick and languishy,so--R-o-o-meo! that is the idea; for Juliet's a dear sweet mere child ofa girl, you know, and she doesn't bray like a jackass."

  Well, next they got out a couple of long swords that the duke made outof oak laths, and begun to practice the sword fight--the duke calledhimself Richard III.; and the way they laid on and pranced aroundthe raft was grand to see. ?But by and by the king tripped and felloverboard, and after that they took a rest, and had a talk about allkinds of adventures they'd had in other times along the river.

  After dinner the duke says:

  "Well, Capet, we'll want to make this a first-class show, you know, soI guess we'll add a little more to it. ?We want a little something toanswer encores with, anyway."

  "What's onkores, Bilgewater?"

  The duke told him, and then says:

  "I'll answer by doing the Highland fling or the sailor's hornpipe; andyou--well, let me see--oh, I've got it--you can do Hamlet's soliloquy."

  "Hamlet's which?"

  "Hamlet's soliloquy, you know; the most celebrated thing in Shakespeare.Ah, it's sublime, sublime! ?Always fetches the house. ?I haven't gotit in the book--I've only got one volume--but I reckon I can piece it outfrom memory. ?I'll just walk up and down a minute, and see if I can callit back from recollection's vaults."

  So he went to marching up and down, thinking, and frowning horribleevery now and then; then he would hoist up his eyebrows; next he wouldsqueeze his hand on his forehead and stagger back and kind of moan; nexthe would sigh, and next he'd let on to drop a tear. ?It was beautifulto see him. By and by he got it. ?He told us to give attention. ?Thenhe strikes a most noble attitude, with one leg shoved forwards, and hisarms stretched away up, and his head tilted back, looking up at the sky;and then he begins to rip and rave and grit his teeth; and after that,all through his speech, he howled, and spread around, and swelled up hischest, and just knocked the spots out of any acting ever I see before.?This is the speech--I learned it, easy enough, while he was learning itto the king:

  To be, or not to be; that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity ofso long life; For who would fardels bear, till Birnam Wood do cometo Dunsinane, But that the fear of something after death Murders theinnocent sleep, Great nature's second course, And makes us rather slingthe arrows of outrageous fortune Than fly to others that we know not of.There's the respect must give us pause: Wake Duncan with thy knocking! Iwould thou couldst; For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, Theoppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely, The law's delay, and thequietus which his pangs might take. In the dead waste and middle of thenight, when churchyards yawn In customary suits of solemn black, Butthat the undiscovered country from whose bourne no traveler returns,Breathes forth contagion on the world, And thus the native hue ofresolution, like the poor cat i' the adage, Is sicklied o'er with care.And all the clouds that lowered o'er our housetops, With thisregard their currents turn awry, And lose the name of action. 'Tis aconsummation devoutly to be wished. But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Openot thy ponderous and marble jaws. But get thee to a nunnery—go!

  Well, the old man he liked that speech, and he mighty soon got it so hecould do it first rate. It seemed like he was just born for it; and whenhe had his hand in and was excited, it was perfectly lovely the way hewould rip and tear and rair up behind when he was getting it off.

  The first chance we got, the duke he had some show bills printed; andafter that, for two or three days as we floated along, the raft was amost uncommon lively place, for there warn't nothing but sword-fightingand rehearsing--as the duke called it--going on all the time. One morning,when we was pretty well down the State of Arkansaw, we come in sightof a little one-horse town in a big bend; so we tied up aboutthree-quarters of a mile above it, in the mouth of a crick which wasshut in like a tunnel by the cypress trees, and all of us but Jim tookthe canoe and went down there to see if there was any chance in thatplace for our show.

  We struck it mighty lucky; there was going to be a circus there thatafternoon, and the country people was already beginning to come in, inall kinds of old shackly wagons, and on horses. The circus would leavebefore night, so our show would have a pretty good chance. The duke hehired the court house, and we went around and stuck up our bills. Theyread like this:

  Shaksperean Revival!!!

  Wonderful Attraction!

  For One Night Only! The world renowned tragedians,

  David Garrick the younger, of Drury Lane Theatre, London,

  and

  Edmund Kean the elder, of the Royal Haymarket Theatre, Whitechapel,Pudding Lane, Piccadilly, London, and the Royal Continental Theatres, intheir sublime Shaksperean Spectacle entitled The Balcony Scene in

  Romeo and Juliet!!!

  Romeo...................................... Mr. Garrick.

  Juliet..................................... Mr. Kean.

  Assisted by the whole strength of the company!

  New costumes, new scenery, new appointments!

  Also:

  The thrilling, masterly, and blood-curdling Broad-sword conflict InRichard III.!!!

  Richard III................................ Mr. Garrick.

  Richmond................................... Mr. Kean.

  also:

  (by special request,)

  Hamlet's Immortal Soliloquy!!

  By the Illustrious Kean!

  Done by him 300 consecutive nights in Paris!

  For One Night Only,

  On account of imperative European engagements!

  Admission 25 cents; children and servants, 10 cents.

  Then we went loafing around the town. The stores and houses was most allold shackly dried-up frame concerns that hadn't ever been painted; theywas set up three or four foot above ground on stilts, so as to be out ofreach of the water when the river was overflowed. The houses had littlegardens around them, but they didn't seem to raise hardly anything inthem but jimpson weeds, and sunflowers, and ash-piles, and old curled-upboots and shoes, and pieces of bottles, and rags, and played-outtin-ware. The fences was made of different kinds of boards, nailed onat different times; and they leaned every which-way, and had gates thatdidn't generly have but one hinge--a leather one. Some of the fenceshad been whitewashed, some time or another, but the duke said it was inClumbus's time, like enough. There was generly hogs in the garden, andpeople driving them out.

  All the stores was along one street. ?They had white domestic awnings infront, and the country people hitched their horses to the awning-posts.There was empty drygoods boxes under the awnings, and loafers roostingon them all day long, whittling them with their Barlow knives; andchawing tobacco, and gaping and yawning and stretching--a mighty ornerylot. They generly had on yellow straw hats most as wide as an umbrella,but didn't wear no coats nor waistcoats, they called one another Bill,and Buck, and Hank, and Joe, and Andy, and talked lazy and drawly, andused considerable many cuss words. ?There was as many as one loaferleaning up against every awning-post, and he most always had his handsin his britches-pockets, except when he fetched them out to lend a chawof tobacco or scratch. ?What a body was hearing amongst them all thetime was:

  "Gimme a chaw 'v tobacker, Hank."

  "Cain't; I hain't got but one chaw left. ?Ask Bill."

 
Maybe Bill he gives him a chaw; maybe he lies and says he ain't gotnone. Some of them kinds of loafers never has a cent in the world, nor achaw of tobacco of their own. ?They get all their chawing by borrowing;they say to a fellow, "I wisht you'd len' me a chaw, Jack, I jist thisminute give Ben Thompson the last chaw I had"--which is a lie prettymuch everytime; it don't fool nobody but a stranger; but Jack ain't nostranger, so he says:

  "_You_ give him a chaw, did you? ?So did your sister's cat'sgrandmother. You pay me back the chaws you've awready borry'd off'n me,Lafe Buckner, then I'll loan you one or two ton of it, and won't chargeyou no back intrust, nuther."

  "Well, I _did_ pay you back some of it wunst."

  "Yes, you did--'bout six chaws. ?You borry'd store tobacker and paid backnigger-head."

  Store tobacco is flat black plug, but these fellows mostly chaws thenatural leaf twisted. ?When they borrow a chaw they don't generly cut itoff with a knife, but set the plug in between their teeth, and gnaw withtheir teeth and tug at the plug with their hands till they get it intwo; then sometimes the one that owns the tobacco looks mournful at itwhen it's handed back, and says, sarcastic:

  "Here, gimme the _chaw_, and you take the _plug_."

  All the streets and lanes was just mud; they warn't nothing else _but_mud--mud as black as tar and nigh about a foot deep in some places,and two or three inches deep in _all_ the places. ?The hogs loafed andgrunted around everywheres. ?You'd see a muddy sow and a litter of pigscome lazying along the street and whollop herself right down in the way,where folks had to walk around her, and she'd stretch out and shut hereyes and wave her ears whilst the pigs was milking her, and look ashappy as if she was on salary. And pretty soon you'd hear a loafersing out, "Hi! ?_so_ boy! sick him, Tige!" and away the sow would go,squealing most horrible, with a dog or two swinging to each ear, andthree or four dozen more a-coming; and then you would see all theloafers get up and watch the thing out of sight, and laugh at the funand look grateful for the noise. ?Then they'd settle back again tillthere was a dog fight. ?There couldn't anything wake them up all over,and make them happy all over, like a dog fight--unless it might beputting turpentine on a stray dog and setting fire to him, or tying atin pan to his tail and see him run himself to death.

  On the river front some of the houses was sticking out over the bank,and they was bowed and bent, and about ready to tumble in. The peoplehad moved out of them. ?The bank was caved away under one corner of someothers, and that corner was hanging over. ?People lived in them yet, butit was dangersome, because sometimes a strip of land as wide as a housecaves in at a time. ?Sometimes a belt of land a quarter of a mile deepwill start in and cave along and cave along till it all caves into theriver in one summer. Such a town as that has to be always moving back,and back, and back, because the river's always gnawing at it.

  The nearer it got to noon that day the thicker and thicker was thewagons and horses in the streets, and more coming all the time.?Families fetched their dinners with them from the country, and eat themin the wagons. ?There was considerable whisky drinking going on, and Iseen three fights. ?By and by somebody sings out:

  "Here comes old Boggs!--in from the country for his little old monthlydrunk; here he comes, boys!"

  All the loafers looked glad; I reckoned they was used to having fun outof Boggs. ?One of them says:

  "Wonder who he's a-gwyne to chaw up this time. ?If he'd a-chawed up allthe men he's ben a-gwyne to chaw up in the last twenty year he'd haveconsiderable ruputation now."

  Another one says, "I wisht old Boggs 'd threaten me, 'cuz then I'd knowI warn't gwyne to die for a thousan' year."

  Boggs comes a-tearing along on his horse, whooping and yelling like anInjun, and singing out:

  "Cler the track, thar. ?I'm on the waw-path, and the price uv coffins isa-gwyne to raise."

  He was drunk, and weaving about in his saddle; he was over fifty yearold, and had a very red face. ?Everybody yelled at him and laughed athim and sassed him, and he sassed back, and said he'd attend to them andlay them out in their regular turns, but he couldn't wait now becausehe'd come to town to kill old Colonel Sherburn, and his motto was, "Meatfirst, and spoon vittles to top off on."

  He see me, and rode up and says:

  "Whar'd you come f'm, boy? ?You prepared to die?"

  Then he rode on. ?I was scared, but a man says:

  "He don't mean nothing; he's always a-carryin' on like that when he'sdrunk. ?He's the best naturedest old fool in Arkansaw--never hurt nobody,drunk nor sober."

  Boggs rode up before the biggest store in town, and bent his head downso he could see under the curtain of the awning and yells:

  "Come out here, Sherburn! Come out and meet the man you've swindled.You're the houn' I'm after, and I'm a-gwyne to have you, too!"

  And so he went on, calling Sherburn everything he could lay his tongueto, and the whole street packed with people listening and laughing andgoing on. ?By and by a proud-looking man about fifty-five--and he was aheap the best dressed man in that town, too--steps out of the store, andthe crowd drops back on each side to let him come. ?He says to Boggs,mighty ca'm and slow--he says:

  "I'm tired of this, but I'll endure it till one o'clock. ?Till oneo'clock, mind--no longer. ?If you open your mouth against me only onceafter that time you can't travel so far but I will find you."

  Then he turns and goes in. ?The crowd looked mighty sober; nobodystirred, and there warn't no more laughing. ?Boggs rode offblackguarding Sherburn as loud as he could yell, all down the street;and pretty soon back he comes and stops before the store, still keepingit up. ?Some men crowded around him and tried to get him to shut up,but he wouldn't; they told him it would be one o'clock in about fifteenminutes, and so he _must_ go home--he must go right away. ?But it didn'tdo no good. ?He cussed away with all his might, and throwed his hat downin the mud and rode over it, and pretty soon away he went a-raging downthe street again, with his gray hair a-flying. Everybody that could geta chance at him tried their best to coax him off of his horse so theycould lock him up and get him sober; but it warn't no use--up the streethe would tear again, and give Sherburn another cussing. ?By and bysomebody says:

  "Go for his daughter!--quick, go for his daughter; sometimes he'll listento her. ?If anybody can persuade him, she can."

  So somebody started on a run. ?I walked down street a ways and stopped.In about five or ten minutes here comes Boggs again, but not on hishorse. ?He was a-reeling across the street towards me, bare-headed, witha friend on both sides of him a-holt of his arms and hurrying him along.He was quiet, and looked uneasy; and he warn't hanging back any, but wasdoing some of the hurrying himself. ?Somebody sings out:

  "Boggs!"

  I looked over there to see who said it, and it was that ColonelSherburn. He was standing perfectly still in the street, and had apistol raised in his right hand--not aiming it, but holding it out withthe barrel tilted up towards the sky. ?The same second I see a younggirl coming on the run, and two men with her. ?Boggs and the men turnedround to see who called him, and when they see the pistol the menjumped to one side, and the pistol-barrel come down slow and steady toa level--both barrels cocked. Boggs throws up both of his hands and says,"O Lord, don't shoot!" ?Bang! goes the first shot, and he staggers back,clawing at the air--bang! goes the second one, and he tumbles backwardson to the ground, heavy and solid, with his arms spread out. ?That younggirl screamed out and comes rushing, and down she throws herself on herfather, crying, and saying, "Oh, he's killed him, he's killed him!" ?Thecrowd closed up around them, and shouldered and jammed one another, withtheir necks stretched, trying to see, and people on the inside trying toshove them back and shouting, "Back, back! give him air, give him air!"

  Colonel Sherburn he tossed his pistol on to the ground, and turnedaround on his heels and walked off.

  They took Boggs to a little drug store, the crowd pressing around justthe same, and the whole town following, and I rushed and got a goodplace at the window, where I was close to him and could see in. ?Theylaid him
on the floor and put one large Bible under his head, and openedanother one and spread it on his breast; but they tore open his shirtfirst, and I seen where one of the bullets went in. ?He made about adozen long gasps, his breast lifting the Bible up when he drawed in hisbreath, and letting it down again when he breathed it out--and after thathe laid still; he was dead. ?Then they pulled his daughter away fromhim, screaming and crying, and took her off. ?She was about sixteen, andvery sweet and gentle looking, but awful pale and scared.

  Well, pretty soon the whole town was there, squirming and scrouging andpushing and shoving to get at the window and have a look, but peoplethat had the places wouldn't give them up, and folks behind them wassaying all the time, "Say, now, you've looked enough, you fellows;'tain't right and 'tain't fair for you to stay thar all the time, andnever give nobody a chance; other folks has their rights as well asyou."

  There was considerable jawing back, so I slid out, thinking maybethere was going to be trouble. ?The streets was full, and everybody wasexcited. Everybody that seen the shooting was telling how it happened,and there was a big crowd packed around each one of these fellows,stretching their necks and listening. ?One long, lanky man, with longhair and a big white fur stovepipe hat on the back of his head, and acrooked-handled cane, marked out the places on the ground where Boggsstood and where Sherburn stood, and the people following him around fromone place to t'other and watching everything he done, and bobbing theirheads to show they understood, and stooping a little and resting theirhands on their thighs to watch him mark the places on the ground withhis cane; and then he stood up straight and stiff where Sherburn hadstood, frowning and having his hat-brim down over his eyes, and sungout, "Boggs!" and then fetched his cane down slow to a level, and says"Bang!" staggered backwards, says "Bang!" again, and fell down flat onhis back. The people that had seen the thing said he done it perfect;said it was just exactly the way it all happened. ?Then as much as adozen people got out their bottles and treated him.

  Well, by and by somebody said Sherburn ought to be lynched. ?In about aminute everybody was saying it; so away they went, mad and yelling, andsnatching down every clothes-line they come to to do the hanging with.