Three Men on the Bummel, Page 2

  TO YACHTSMEN.--Unique Opportunity.--"Rogue," 28-ton Yawl.--Owner, calledaway suddenly on business, is willing to let this superbly-fitted"greyhound of the sea" for any period short or long. Two cabins andsaloon; pianette, by Woffenkoff; new copper. Terms, 10 guineas aweek.--Apply Pertwee and Co., 3A Bucklersbury.

  It had seemed to me like the answer to a prayer. "The new copper" didnot interest me; what little washing we might want could wait, I thought.But the "pianette by Woffenkoff" sounded alluring. I picturedEthelbertha playing in the evening--something with a chorus, in which,perhaps, the crew, with a little training, might join--while our movinghome bounded, "greyhound-like," over the silvery billows.

  I took a cab and drove direct to 3A Bucklersbury. Mr. Pertwee was anunpretentious-looking gentleman, who had an unostentatious office on thethird floor. He showed me a picture in water-colours of the _Rogue_flying before the wind. The deck was at an angle of 95 to the ocean. Inthe picture no human beings were represented on the deck; I suppose theyhad slipped off. Indeed, I do not see how anyone could have kept on,unless nailed. I pointed out this disadvantage to the agent, who,however, explained to me that the picture represented the _Rogue_doubling something or other on the well-known occasion of her winning theMedway Challenge Shield. Mr. Pertwee assumed that I knew all about theevent, so that I did not like to ask any questions. Two specks near theframe of the picture, which at first I had taken for moths, represented,it appeared, the second and third winners in this celebrated race. Aphotograph of the yacht at anchor off Gravesend was less impressive, butsuggested more stability. All answers to my inquiries beingsatisfactory, I took the thing for a fortnight. Mr. Pertwee said it wasfortunate I wanted it only for a fortnight--later on I came to agree withhim,--the time fitting in exactly with another hiring. Had I required itfor three weeks he would have been compelled to refuse me.

  The letting being thus arranged, Mr. Pertwee asked me if I had a skipperin my eye. That I had not was also fortunate--things seemed to beturning out luckily for me all round,--because Mr. Pertwee felt sure Icould not do better than keep on Mr. Goyles, at present in charge--anexcellent skipper, so Mr. Pertwee assured me, a man who knew the sea as aman knows his own wife, and who had never lost a life.

  It was still early in the day, and the yacht was lying off Harwich. Icaught the ten forty-five from Liverpool Street, and by one o'clock wastalking to Mr. Goyles on deck. He was a stout man, and had a fatherlyway with him. I told him my idea, which was to take the outlying Dutchislands and then creep up to Norway. He said, "Aye, aye, sir," andappeared quite enthusiastic about the trip; said he should enjoy ithimself. We came to the question of victualling, and he grew moreenthusiastic. The amount of food suggested by Mr. Goyles, I confess,surprised me. Had we been living in the days of Drake and the SpanishMain, I should have feared he was arranging for something illegal.However, he laughed in his fatherly way, and assured me we were notoverdoing it. Anything left the crew would divide and take home withthem--it seemed this was the custom. It appeared to me that I wasproviding for this crew for the winter, but I did not like to appearstingy, and said no more. The amount of drink required also surprisedme. I arranged for what I thought we should need for ourselves, and thenMr. Goyles spoke up for the crew. I must say that for him, he did thinkof his men.

  "We don't want anything in the nature of an orgie, Mr. Goyles," Isuggested.

  "Orgie!" replied Mr. Goyles; "why they'll take that little drop in theirtea."

  He explained to me that his motto was, Get good men and treat them well.

  "They work better for you," said Mr. Goyles; "and they come again."

  Personally, I didn't feel I wanted them to come again. I was beginningto take a dislike to them before I had seen them; I regarded them as agreedy and guzzling crew. But Mr. Goyles was so cheerfully emphatic, andI was so inexperienced, that again I let him have his way. He alsopromised that even in this department he would see to it personally thatnothing was wasted.

  I also left him to engage the crew. He said he could do the thing, andwould, for me, with the help two men and a boy. If he was alluding tothe clearing up of the victuals and drink, I think he was making an under-estimate; but possibly he may have been speaking of the sailing of theyacht.

  I called at my tailors on the way home and ordered a yachting suit, witha white hat, which they promised to bustle up and have ready in time; andthen I went home and told Ethelbertha all I had done. Her delight wasclouded by only one reflection--would the dressmaker be able to finish ayachting costume for her in time? That is so like a woman.

  Our honeymoon, which had taken place not very long before, had beensomewhat curtailed, so we decided we would invite nobody, but have theyacht to ourselves. And thankful I am to Heaven that we did so decide.On Monday we put on all our clothes and started. I forget whatEthelbertha wore, but, whatever it may have been, it looked veryfetching. My own costume was a dark blue trimmed with a narrow whitebraid, which, I think, was rather effective.

  Mr. Goyles met us on deck, and told us that lunch was ready. I mustadmit Goyles had secured the services of a very fair cook. Thecapabilities of the other members of the crew I had no opportunity ofjudging. Speaking of them in a state of rest, however, I can say of themthey appeared to be a cheerful crew.

  My idea had been that so soon as the men had finished their dinner wewould weigh anchor, while I, smoking a cigar, with Ethelbertha by myside, would lean over the gunwale and watch the white cliffs of theFatherland sink imperceptibly into the horizon. Ethelbertha and Icarried out our part of the programme, and waited, with the deck toourselves.

  "They seem to be taking their time," said Ethelbertha.

  "If, in the course of fourteen days," I said, "they eat half of what ison this yacht, they will want a fairly long time for every meal. We hadbetter not hurry them, or they won't get through a quarter of it."

  "They must have gone to sleep," said Ethelbertha, later on. "It will betea-time soon."

  They were certainly very quiet. I went for'ard, and hailed CaptainGoyles down the ladder. I hailed him three times; then he came upslowly. He appeared to be a heavier and older man than when I had seenhim last. He had a cold cigar in his mouth.

  "When you are ready, Captain Goyles," I said, "we'll start."

  Captain Goyles removed the cigar from his mouth.

  "Not to-day we won't, sir," he replied, "_with_ your permission."

  "Why, what's the matter with to-day?" I said. I know sailors are asuperstitious folk; I thought maybe a Monday might be considered unlucky.

  "The day's all right," answered Captain Goyles, "it's the wind I'ma-thinking of. It don't look much like changing."

  "But do we want it to change?" I asked. "It seems to me to be just whereit should be, dead behind us."

  "Aye, aye," said Captain Goyles, "dead's the right word to use, for deadwe'd all be, bar Providence, if we was to put out in this. You see,sir," he explained, in answer to my look of surprise, "this is what wecall a 'land wind,' that is, it's a-blowing, as one might say, direct offthe land."

  When I came to think of it the man was right; the wind was blowing offthe land.

  "It may change in the night," said Captain Goyles, more hopefully"anyhow, it's not violent, and she rides well."

  Captain Goyles resumed his cigar, and I returned aft, and explained toEthelbertha the reason for the delay. Ethelbertha, who appeared to beless high spirited than when we first boarded, wanted to know _why_ wecouldn't sail when the wind was off the land.

  "If it was not blowing off the land," said Ethelbertha, "it would beblowing off the sea, and that would send us back into the shore again. Itseems to me this is just the very wind we want."

  I said: "That is your inexperience, love; it _seems_ to be the very windwe want, but it is not. It's what we call a land wind, and a land windis always very dangerous."

  Ethelbertha wanted to know _why_ a land wind was very dangerous.

  Her argumentativene
ss annoyed me somewhat; maybe I was feeling a bitcross; the monotonous rolling heave of a small yacht at anchor depressesan ardent spirit.

  "I can't explain it to you," I replied, which was true, "but to set sailin this wind would be the height of foolhardiness, and I care for you toomuch, dear, to expose you to unnecessary risks."

  I thought this rather a neat conclusion, but Ethelbertha merely repliedthat she wished, under the circumstances, we hadn't come on board tillTuesday, and went below.

  In the morning the wind veered round to the north; I was up early, andobserved this to Captain Goyles.

  "Aye, aye, sir," he remarked; "it's unfortunate, but it can't be helped."

  "You don't think it possible for us to start to-day?" I hazarded.

  He did not get angry with me, he only laughed.

  "Well, sir," said he, "if you was a-wanting to go to Ipswich, I shouldsay as it couldn't be better for us, but our destination being, as yousee, the Dutch coast--why there you are!"

  I broke the news to Ethelbertha, and we agreed to spend the day on shore.Harwich is not a merry town, towards evening you might call it dull. Wehad some tea and watercress at Dovercourt, and then returned to the quayto look for Captain Goyles and the boat. We waited an hour for him. Whenhe came he was more cheerful than we were; if he had not told me himselfthat he never drank anything but one glass of hot grog before turning infor the night, I should have said he was drunk.

  The next morning the wind was in the south, which made Captain Goylesrather anxious, it appearing that it was equally unsafe to move or tostop where we were; our only hope was it would change before anythinghappened. By this time, Ethelbertha had taken a dislike to the yacht;she said that, personally, she would rather be spending a week in abathing machine, seeing that a bathing machine was at least steady.

  We passed another day in Harwich, and that night and the next, the windstill continuing in the south, we slept at the "King's Head." On Fridaythe wind was blowing direct from the east. I met Captain Goyles on thequay, and suggested that, under these circumstances, we might start. Heappeared irritated at my persistence.

  "If you knew a bit more, sir," he said, "you'd see for yourself that it'simpossible. The wind's a-blowing direct off the sea."

  I said: "Captain Goyles, tell me what is this thing I have hired? Is ita yacht or a house-boat?"

  He seemed surprised at my question.

  He said: "It's a yawl."

  "What I mean is," I said, "can it be moved at all, or is it a fixturehere? If it is a fixture," I continued, "tell me so frankly, then wewill get some ivy in boxes and train over the port-holes, stick someflowers and an awning on deck, and make the thing look pretty. If, onthe other hand, it can be moved--"

  "Moved!" interrupted Captain Goyles. "You get the right wind behind the_Rogue_--"

  I said: "What is the right wind?"

  Captain Goyles looked puzzled.

  "In the course of this week," I went on, "we have had wind from thenorth, from the south, from the east, from the west--with variations. Ifyou can think of any other point of the compass from which it can blow,tell me, and I will wait for it. If not, and if that anchor has notgrown into the bottom of the ocean, we will have it up to-day and seewhat happens."

  He grasped the fact that I was determined.

  "Very well, sir," he said, "you're master and I'm man. I've only got onechild as is still dependent on me, thank God, and no doubt your executorswill feel it their duty to do the right thing by the old woman."

  His solemnity impressed me.

  "Mr. Goyles," I said, "be honest with me. Is there any hope, in anyweather, of getting away from this damned hole?"

  Captain Goyles's kindly geniality returned to him.

  "You see, sir," he said, "this is a very peculiar coast. We'd be allright if we were once out, but getting away from it in a cockle-shelllike that--well, to be frank, sir, it wants doing."

  I left Captain Goyles with the assurance that he would watch the weatheras a mother would her sleeping babe; it was his own simile, and it struckme as rather touching. I saw him again at twelve o'clock; he waswatching it from the window of the "Chain and Anchor."

  At five o'clock that evening a stroke of luck occurred; in the middle ofthe High Street I met a couple of yachting friends, who had had to put inby reason of a strained rudder. I told them my story, and they appearedless surprised than amused. Captain Goyles and the two men were stillwatching the weather. I ran into the "King's Head," and preparedEthelbertha. The four of us crept quietly down to the quay, where wefound our boat. Only the boy was on board; my two friends took charge ofthe yacht, and by six o'clock we were scudding merrily up the coast.

  We put in that night at Aldborough, and the next day worked up toYarmouth, where, as my friends had to leave, I decided to abandon theyacht. We sold the stores by auction on Yarmouth sands early in themorning. I made a loss, but had the satisfaction of "doing" CaptainGoyles. I left the _Rogue_ in charge of a local mariner, who, for acouple of sovereigns, undertook to see to its return to Harwich; and wecame back to London by train. There may be yachts other than the_Rogue_, and skippers other than Mr. Goyles, but that experience hasprejudiced me against both.

  George also thought a yacht would be a good deal of responsibility, so wedismissed the idea.

  "What about the river?" suggested Harris.

  "We have had some pleasant times on that."

  George pulled in silence at his cigar, and I cracked another nut.

  "The river is not what it used to be," said I; "I don't know what, butthere's a something--a dampness--about the river air that always startsmy lumbago."

  "It's the same with me," said George. "I don't know how it is, but Inever can sleep now in the neighbourhood of the river. I spent a week atJoe's place in the spring, and every night I woke up at seven o'clock andnever got a wink afterwards."

  "I merely suggested it," observed Harris. "Personally, I don't think itgood for me, either; it touches my gout."

  "What suits me best," I said, "is mountain air. What say you to awalking tour in Scotland?"

  "It's always wet in Scotland," said George. "I was three weeks inScotland the year before last, and was never dry once all the time--notin that sense."

  "It's fine enough in Switzerland," said Harris.

  "They would never stand our going to Switzerland by ourselves," Iobjected. "You know what happened last time. It must be some placewhere no delicately nurtured woman or child could possibly live; acountry of bad hotels and comfortless travelling; where we shall have torough it, to work hard, to starve perhaps--"

  "Easy!" interrupted George, "easy, there! Don't forget I'm coming withyou."

  "I have it!" exclaimed Harris; "a bicycle tour!"

  George looked doubtful.

  "There's a lot of uphill about a bicycle tour," said he, "and the wind isagainst you."

  "So there is downhill, and the wind behind you," said Harris.

  "I've never noticed it," said George.

  "You won't think of anything better than a bicycle tour," persistedHarris.

  I was inclined to agree with him.

  "And I'll tell you where," continued he; "through the Black Forest."

  "Why, that's _all_ uphill," said George.

  "Not all," retorted Harris; "say two-thirds. And there's one thingyou've forgotten."

  He looked round cautiously, and sunk his voice to a whisper.

  "There are little railways going up those hills, little cogwheel thingsthat--"

  The door opened, and Mrs. Harris appeared. She said that Ethelbertha wasputting on her bonnet, and that Muriel, after waiting, had given "The MadHatter's Tea Party" without us.

  "Club, to-morrow, at four," whispered Harris to me, as he rose, and Ipassed it on to George as we went upstairs