Persuasion

  Chapter 19

  While Admiral Croft was taking this walk with Anne, and expressing hiswish of getting Captain Wentworth to Bath, Captain Wentworth wasalready on his way thither. Before Mrs Croft had written, he wasarrived, and the very next time Anne walked out, she saw him.

  Mr Elliot was attending his two cousins and Mrs Clay. They were inMilsom Street. It began to rain, not much, but enough to make shelterdesirable for women, and quite enough to make it very desirable forMiss Elliot to have the advantage of being conveyed home in LadyDalrymple's carriage, which was seen waiting at a little distance; she,Anne, and Mrs Clay, therefore, turned into Molland's, while Mr Elliotstepped to Lady Dalrymple, to request her assistance. He soon joinedthem again, successful, of course; Lady Dalrymple would be most happyto take them home, and would call for them in a few minutes.

  Her ladyship's carriage was a barouche, and did not hold more than fourwith any comfort. Miss Carteret was with her mother; consequently itwas not reasonable to expect accommodation for all the three CamdenPlace ladies. There could be no doubt as to Miss Elliot. Whoeversuffered inconvenience, she must suffer none, but it occupied a littletime to settle the point of civility between the other two. The rainwas a mere trifle, and Anne was most sincere in preferring a walk withMr Elliot. But the rain was also a mere trifle to Mrs Clay; she wouldhardly allow it even to drop at all, and her boots were so thick! muchthicker than Miss Anne's; and, in short, her civility rendered herquite as anxious to be left to walk with Mr Elliot as Anne could be,and it was discussed between them with a generosity so polite and sodetermined, that the others were obliged to settle it for them; MissElliot maintaining that Mrs Clay had a little cold already, and MrElliot deciding on appeal, that his cousin Anne's boots were rather thethickest.

  It was fixed accordingly, that Mrs Clay should be of the party in thecarriage; and they had just reached this point, when Anne, as she satnear the window, descried, most decidedly and distinctly, CaptainWentworth walking down the street.

  Her start was perceptible only to herself; but she instantly felt thatshe was the greatest simpleton in the world, the most unaccountable andabsurd! For a few minutes she saw nothing before her; it was allconfusion. She was lost, and when she had scolded back her senses, shefound the others still waiting for the carriage, and Mr Elliot (alwaysobliging) just setting off for Union Street on a commission of MrsClay's.

  She now felt a great inclination to go to the outer door; she wanted tosee if it rained. Why was she to suspect herself of another motive?Captain Wentworth must be out of sight. She left her seat, she wouldgo; one half of her should not be always so much wiser than the otherhalf, or always suspecting the other of being worse than it was. Shewould see if it rained. She was sent back, however, in a moment by theentrance of Captain Wentworth himself, among a party of gentlemen andladies, evidently his acquaintance, and whom he must have joined alittle below Milsom Street. He was more obviously struck and confusedby the sight of her than she had ever observed before; he looked quitered. For the first time, since their renewed acquaintance, she feltthat she was betraying the least sensibility of the two. She had theadvantage of him in the preparation of the last few moments. All theoverpowering, blinding, bewildering, first effects of strong surprisewere over with her. Still, however, she had enough to feel! It wasagitation, pain, pleasure, a something between delight and misery.

  He spoke to her, and then turned away. The character of his manner wasembarrassment. She could not have called it either cold or friendly,or anything so certainly as embarrassed.

  After a short interval, however, he came towards her, and spoke again.Mutual enquiries on common subjects passed: neither of them, probably,much the wiser for what they heard, and Anne continuing fully sensibleof his being less at ease than formerly. They had by dint of being sovery much together, got to speak to each other with a considerableportion of apparent indifference and calmness; but he could not do itnow. Time had changed him, or Louisa had changed him. There wasconsciousness of some sort or other. He looked very well, not as if hehad been suffering in health or spirits, and he talked of Uppercross,of the Musgroves, nay, even of Louisa, and had even a momentary look ofhis own arch significance as he named her; but yet it was CaptainWentworth not comfortable, not easy, not able to feign that he was.

  It did not surprise, but it grieved Anne to observe that Elizabethwould not know him. She saw that he saw Elizabeth, that Elizabeth sawhim, that there was complete internal recognition on each side; she wasconvinced that he was ready to be acknowledged as an acquaintance,expecting it, and she had the pain of seeing her sister turn away withunalterable coldness.

  Lady Dalrymple's carriage, for which Miss Elliot was growing veryimpatient, now drew up; the servant came in to announce it. It wasbeginning to rain again, and altogether there was a delay, and abustle, and a talking, which must make all the little crowd in the shopunderstand that Lady Dalrymple was calling to convey Miss Elliot. Atlast Miss Elliot and her friend, unattended but by the servant, (forthere was no cousin returned), were walking off; and Captain Wentworth,watching them, turned again to Anne, and by manner, rather than words,was offering his services to her.

  "I am much obliged to you," was her answer, "but I am not going withthem. The carriage would not accommodate so many. I walk: I preferwalking."

  "But it rains."

  "Oh! very little, Nothing that I regard."

  After a moment's pause he said: "Though I came only yesterday, I haveequipped myself properly for Bath already, you see," (pointing to a newumbrella); "I wish you would make use of it, if you are determined towalk; though I think it would be more prudent to let me get you achair."

  She was very much obliged to him, but declined it all, repeating herconviction, that the rain would come to nothing at present, and adding,"I am only waiting for Mr Elliot. He will be here in a moment, I amsure."

  She had hardly spoken the words when Mr Elliot walked in. CaptainWentworth recollected him perfectly. There was no difference betweenhim and the man who had stood on the steps at Lyme, admiring Anne asshe passed, except in the air and look and manner of the privilegedrelation and friend. He came in with eagerness, appeared to see andthink only of her, apologised for his stay, was grieved to have kepther waiting, and anxious to get her away without further loss of timeand before the rain increased; and in another moment they walked offtogether, her arm under his, a gentle and embarrassed glance, and a"Good morning to you!" being all that she had time for, as she passedaway.

  As soon as they were out of sight, the ladies of Captain Wentworth'sparty began talking of them.

  "Mr Elliot does not dislike his cousin, I fancy?"

  "Oh! no, that is clear enough. One can guess what will happen there.He is always with them; half lives in the family, I believe. What avery good-looking man!"

  "Yes, and Miss Atkinson, who dined with him once at the Wallises, sayshe is the most agreeable man she ever was in company with."

  "She is pretty, I think; Anne Elliot; very pretty, when one comes tolook at her. It is not the fashion to say so, but I confess I admireher more than her sister."

  "Oh! so do I."

  "And so do I. No comparison. But the men are all wild after MissElliot. Anne is too delicate for them."

  Anne would have been particularly obliged to her cousin, if he wouldhave walked by her side all the way to Camden Place, without saying aword. She had never found it so difficult to listen to him, thoughnothing could exceed his solicitude and care, and though his subjectswere principally such as were wont to be always interesting: praise,warm, just, and discriminating, of Lady Russell, and insinuationshighly rational against Mrs Clay. But just now she could think only ofCaptain Wentworth. She could not understand his present feelings,whether he were really suffering much from disappointment or not; andtill that point were settled, she could not be quite herself.

  She hoped to be wise and reasonable in time; but alas! alas! she mustconfess to herself t
hat she was not wise yet.

  Another circumstance very essential for her to know, was how long hemeant to be in Bath; he had not mentioned it, or she could notrecollect it. He might be only passing through. But it was moreprobable that he should be come to stay. In that case, so liable asevery body was to meet every body in Bath, Lady Russell would in alllikelihood see him somewhere. Would she recollect him? How would itall be?

  She had already been obliged to tell Lady Russell that Louisa Musgrovewas to marry Captain Benwick. It had cost her something to encounterLady Russell's surprise; and now, if she were by any chance to bethrown into company with Captain Wentworth, her imperfect knowledge ofthe matter might add another shade of prejudice against him.

  The following morning Anne was out with her friend, and for the firsthour, in an incessant and fearful sort of watch for him in vain; but atlast, in returning down Pulteney Street, she distinguished him on theright hand pavement at such a distance as to have him in view thegreater part of the street. There were many other men about him, manygroups walking the same way, but there was no mistaking him. Shelooked instinctively at Lady Russell; but not from any mad idea of herrecognising him so soon as she did herself. No, it was not to besupposed that Lady Russell would perceive him till they were nearlyopposite. She looked at her however, from time to time, anxiously; andwhen the moment approached which must point him out, though not daringto look again (for her own countenance she knew was unfit to be seen),she was yet perfectly conscious of Lady Russell's eyes being turnedexactly in the direction for him--of her being, in short, intentlyobserving him. She could thoroughly comprehend the sort of fascinationhe must possess over Lady Russell's mind, the difficulty it must be forher to withdraw her eyes, the astonishment she must be feeling thateight or nine years should have passed over him, and in foreign climesand in active service too, without robbing him of one personal grace!

  At last, Lady Russell drew back her head. "Now, how would she speak ofhim?"

  "You will wonder," said she, "what has been fixing my eye so long; butI was looking after some window-curtains, which Lady Alicia and MrsFrankland were telling me of last night. They described thedrawing-room window-curtains of one of the houses on this side of theway, and this part of the street, as being the handsomest and best hungof any in Bath, but could not recollect the exact number, and I havebeen trying to find out which it could be; but I confess I can see nocurtains hereabouts that answer their description."

  Anne sighed and blushed and smiled, in pity and disdain, either at herfriend or herself. The part which provoked her most, was that in allthis waste of foresight and caution, she should have lost the rightmoment for seeing whether he saw them.

  A day or two passed without producing anything. The theatre or therooms, where he was most likely to be, were not fashionable enough forthe Elliots, whose evening amusements were solely in the elegantstupidity of private parties, in which they were getting more and moreengaged; and Anne, wearied of such a state of stagnation, sick ofknowing nothing, and fancying herself stronger because her strength wasnot tried, was quite impatient for the concert evening. It was aconcert for the benefit of a person patronised by Lady Dalrymple. Ofcourse they must attend. It was really expected to be a good one, andCaptain Wentworth was very fond of music. If she could only have a fewminutes conversation with him again, she fancied she should besatisfied; and as to the power of addressing him, she felt all overcourage if the opportunity occurred. Elizabeth had turned from him,Lady Russell overlooked him; her nerves were strengthened by thesecircumstances; she felt that she owed him attention.

  She had once partly promised Mrs Smith to spend the evening with her;but in a short hurried call she excused herself and put it off, withthe more decided promise of a longer visit on the morrow. Mrs Smithgave a most good-humoured acquiescence.

  "By all means," said she; "only tell me all about it, when you do come.Who is your party?"

  Anne named them all. Mrs Smith made no reply; but when she was leavingher said, and with an expression half serious, half arch, "Well, Iheartily wish your concert may answer; and do not fail me to-morrow ifyou can come; for I begin to have a foreboding that I may not have manymore visits from you."

  Anne was startled and confused; but after standing in a moment'ssuspense, was obliged, and not sorry to be obliged, to hurry away.