Bah, Humbug! (A Romantic Comedy Christmas Novella)



  BAH, HUMBUG!

  A Romantic Comedy Novella

  By Heather Horrocks

  PUBLISHED BY

  Word Garden Press

  BAH, HUMBUG! © 2011 Heather Horrocks

  All rights reserved

  This ebook is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer's imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.

  Cover Art © 2011 www.istockphoto.com / TwentyFourWorks

  Formatted by Bob Houston eBook Formatting

  For previews of upcoming books by Heather Horrocks, to sign up for New Releases email, or for more information about the author, visit www.BooksByHeatherHorrocks.com.

  DEDICATION

  To my mother Loya and my mother-in-law Betty, who knew how to create family. I'm so glad I was part of your loving circles.

  And to Mark. I'm eternally grateful to be inside yours.

  CONTENTS

  Book Description - Bah Humbug!

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Thank You!

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Books by Heather Horrocks

  Excerpt from While You Were Stranded (the first Chick Flick Clique romantic comedy

  Excerpt from The Christmas Star by Diane Darcy

  Book Description -- Bah, Humbug!

  Lexi Anderson is an up-and-coming, Martha Stewart-type TV hostess whose two kids love the Jared Strong adventure novels, which happen to be written by their new neighbor, Kyle Miller.

  For the first time in his writing career, Kyle has writer’s block--until he sees the snowman on his lawn and he realizes this is the perfect place for his villain to hide the weapon. He digs into the snowman to discover two things: the weapon fits in the body just under the head, and the snowman was supposed to be the back drop for Lexi’s next show.

  From this improbable beginning comes friendship. Can there be more for a woman who is afraid to get close again and a man who has shadows from his childhood?

  Families join together and hearts are healed as this couple goes walking in a winter wonderland.

  Chapter One

  SEVEN DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS

  Satisfied, Jared Strong watched the police haul off another crook to jail--another crook he had uncovered. He nodded to Melinda and said, “I knew it was old Mr. Sellers all the time.”

  Leaning against the headboard of her bed, Lexi Anderson sighed and shut the book. “We did it. We reread the third Jared Strong book, just in time to buy the new one when it comes out Tuesday.”

  Her two pajama-clad children leaned into her, one of each side.

  Steven said, “I think it’s so cool how Jared always knows who the bad guys are.”

  “That’s because you’re nine. When you’re as old as I am, you’ll like Melinda better,” said Trista, from her ripe old age of eleven, referring to Jared’s best friend and co-detective.

  “I don’t care what you say. I want to be a detective when I grow up. Just like Jared.” And Steven snuggled back into Lexi’s side and hugged her arm. “Read the last chapter again, okay?”

  “Okay.” She smiled as Trista tried to feign indifference.

  As she reread the ending, she was filled with a sense of contentment. She was reading her childrens’ favorite book in their beautiful new home.

  Things hadn’t always gone so smoothly. She’d had some hard knocks. Her parents had died in a car crash when she was seventeen. She’d married her boyfriend in what she now realized had been a desperate attempt to create a family around her.

  Unfortunately, on his twenty-fifth birthday, her husband decided family wasn’t what he wanted, and had taken off to “experience life.” Neither she nor the kids had heard from him since then.

  She avoided relationships because she wasn’t about to lose someone else she cared about. And she supposed she was overprotective of her children, but they didn’t seem to mind.

  Since the divorce, she’d been forced to fight her way up from the bottom of both the financial and emotional heap. And now, well, they were doing all right. She had been called a younger, fresher version of Martha Stewart. She’d just signed a lucrative five-year contract to continue hosting her one-year-old national television show. She and the kids had more money than they could have ever imagined. Enough money that she’d been able to buy this house, their first, which nestled on a lovely lane with maple trees shaking hands above the street.

  At first she’d worried about making the move from San Diego to Salt Lake City. But everything seemed perfect here. The way the kids raced through the house laughing and loving it just as much as she did. The way they all seemed to fit into this home as if they’d lived here forever.

  She hoped they’d fit into the neighborhood and school, as well. The neighbors seemed friendly enough. When the moving truck pulled up yesterday morning, six neighbor guys had shown up and helped unload the truck.

  There were still two bedrooms filled with boxes, but the rest of the house was unpacked and decorated for the holidays.

  The house and neighborhood were perfect. Through the windows, she could see cars driving by, their lights dimmed by drivers wanting to see the decorations on what was known as Christmas Street.

  Besides, the kids were excited because the Jared Strong author, Kyle Miller, lived somewhere in the Salt Lake area. Of course, that area covered small entangled towns from Bountiful down to the Point of the Mountain, so the odds of running into him were minute. But the chance of going to a local book signing had still been an attraction.

  Best of all, this year the kids seemed to be doing better than ever in school. And the three of them had settled into a nice routine. They didn’t need anything or anyone else in their lives. They had each other and that was enough.

  Next Friday, they were going to splurge, attend the book signing at Fashion Place Mall, buy the fourth book in the Kyle Miller series, Jared Strong and the Mystery of the Haunted House on Walnut Grove, and get Kyle Miller, himself, to autograph it.

  As she closed the book a second time and looked down at her children, she decided she didn’t want anything in her life to change. Life was perfect, just the way it was. Safe, secure, single...and happy.

  If only she weren’t so nervous about starting over, this moment might seem perfect.

  Chapter Two

 

  SIX DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS

  Jared stepped forward, taking care not to awaken the guard. He had to get to the bottom of this mystery, and he couldn’t do it without finding the...

  What? What did Jared need to find?

  And why was Kyle battling such a monstrous block on this plot? He’d tried a gazillion things so far. None of them had worked. And he wasn’t sure what he was going to do next.

  He didn’t know where the villain hid the murder weapon. He didn’t know what Jared needed to find to solve the mystery. And he couldn’t make the ending work.

  Pushing back from the keyboard, he stood and stretched out the kinks that five hours of sitting had worked into his muscles. Not that the five hours had done much good. Neither had the past three weeks.

  It was eleven in the morning and he was goi
ng to have to spend the rest of the day working.

  He was supposed to have this book to his editor, Ernest Billings, by the end of January. It was December seventeenth now, and he was still struggling with making the ending work on the first draft--and that meant he had at least another month after he actually finished the ending before he could polish the entire manuscript enough to email it to Ernest. The book was supposed to be on the shelf in another six months, which meant everything was timed far too tight.

  He’d never missed a deadline before. And, since he was determined not to miss this one, he was just going to have to work through the holidays.

  He crumpled up a sheet of paper and tossed it into the growing heap on his floor next to the waste paper basket. He had a cleaning service that came in once a week to keep the rest of his house clean--not that he was a slob, mind you--but his office was off limits. And, during deadlines, it could get messy.

  He glanced out the window. Oh, great. The neighborhood kids had Christmased his yard again. There was a plastic elf lounging next to the big pine tree between his house and the empty house next door, and he had not put it there. He sighed. He supposed this was what he got for living on an official Christmas Street, where the entire neighborhood--except Kyle--decorated excessively. He could move, but not until after he’d finished this book.

  He’d go out later and add the elf to the growing collection in his garage.

  The phone rang. He thought he’d taken it off the hook, but obviously had forgotten. He glanced at the Caller ID. When he saw his brother’s name, he groaned. Oh, well, might as well get it over with quickly. Keefe would just call every few minutes until the ringing drove him crazy, so Kyle picked up the receiver. “Yeah?”

  “Hi, Kyle. Dad asked me to call. Bet you can’t guess why?”

  Oh, he knew why. The annual family get-together on the ranch. Except he couldn’t take the dreariness any more. He was almost glad to have a legitimate excuse. “Sorry, Keefe. I’m having fits with this book and I’m not going to be able to make it.”

  There was a slight pause. When Keefe spoke, his voice was still pleasant, but Kyle could imagine how much it cost him to sound that way instead of as irritated as he doubtless was. “Dad’s gonna be disappointed.”

  “Don’t you think that’s playing it a little strong?”

  “He didn’t want to call you himself, because he’d get too upset. He knew you’d back out.” The irritation was there now. “Besides, Alyssa wants to bring some cheer back into the holidays for the family.”

  “Don’t have time this year. Sorry.”

  “You can be such a pain sometimes. Justin’s Eagle Court of Honor is on the Sunday between Christmas and New Year’s. It would mean a lot to him if you came.”

  Guilt shot through Kyle’s veins. But he fought it. He was not going to pack for the family’s annual guilt trip. “Sorry,” he repeated, a slight chill in his own voice. “You don’t understand. I have this killer deadline and...”

  “Oh, I understand just fine. I understand that your deadlines are grandiose excuses for not spending time with the people who care about you. You know, you may think you’re this high-and-mighty author now you’ve sold a few mystery novels--“

  Kyle bit his tongue. He would not mention that his books weren’t just any mystery novels, but New York Times best-sellers. Three best-sellers, but who was counting? And if he didn’t finish this one, he was afraid there wouldn’t be a fifth in the series. “Hey, this is my job. You’ve got a regular job--“

  ”Thanks for reminding me.”

  “--but I write for a living. And that means I have to finish my books. And this one is a bear.”

  “They’re all bears of some color or another. Come on, Kyle, can’t you come out for a few days? Bring your laptop. It will really mean a lot to Dad. And I’d kind of like to see your ugly mug myself. Besides, it’s your turn to host.”

  “If you want peanut butter and banana sandwiches.”

  “Have dinner catered. Or take us to Red Lobster. You can afford it.”

  Kyle was tempted. He had ordered pizza in for so many nights in a row that the delivery guy--Jake--seemed like one of his best friends. The one he saw most often, at least. But he couldn’t afford to take the time off this year. “You can come, but I might not answer the door.”

  “If you don’t take a turn, then Alyssa will have to do it again. That’s not fair to her.”

  “I’m really, really sorry. I tell you what, Keefe. If I push really hard, maybe I can get up there for the New Year’s festivities and the Court of Honor.”

  “Oh, sure you will.” Keefe sounded extremely skeptical.

  “It could happen.”

  Voices raised in the background. Keefe sighed and said, “Wait a minute. The kids are fighting.”

  Kyle watched as a FedEx truck drove slowly past his house. Needing to get back to his book, he turned back and drummed his fingers on his desk. Come on, Keefe. I’ve got work to do.

  Music sounded in the background. Very familiar music. No wonder. Keefe had turned on Christmas music and the strains of Walking in a Winter Wonderland played over the phone.

  “Okay, I’m back.”

  “Turn that down. You know I can’t hear myself think with that rot playing.”

  Keefe just laughed. “Oh, bah, humbug! yourself, Kyle. ‘Tis the season. You’ve just become a scrooge.”

  “I have not.”

  “A grinch, then.” Keefe got serious and his voice lowered. “The grieving has been going on long enough, Kyle. It’s been twenty-two years. It’s time we get over it. Alyssa would like this to be a healing Christmas for our family. Mama would want it.”

  If there was anything Kyle didn’t want to do this year, it was deal with that particular hurt. “I’m going to hang up now.”

  “Okay. Hey, I’ll see you next spring at one of your book signings. It might come as a surprise to you to know that some people don’t care about books, and not everybody in the world cares that you’re a best-selling author. And maybe one day you’ll learn that there’s more to life than deadlines. Like family.”

  Kyle fought back his irritation. “I bet the next person I speak to knows my name.”

  “That’s really nice. Too bad so few of your family can remember it.” A click told Kyle that Keefe had gotten the last word in their conversation.

  He replaced the receiver and sat quietly for a moment. Why couldn’t his family understand how important his deadlines were? They were always pushing him to come to events--but his writing was his livelihood. Besides, he had fans who’d be disappointed if his next book didn’t come out six months from now. Kids.

  And, speaking of writing, he’d better get back to it or he’d never get Book Five finished, much less need to decide on the official title, whether or not the publishing company actually used the one he chose.

  Reaching over, he took the phone off the hook. Multiple potential interruptions handled with one simple motion.

  He cracked his knuckles, put his hands over the keyboard, and picked up where he’d left off.

  In other words, he was still stuck.

  Jared had nowhere to go.

  * * *

  Lexi stood back and surveyed her work.

  The snowman was magnificent. The three balls were perfectly round, each smaller than the one below it. He was the perfect snowman, with eyes of coal, a carrot nose, twig arms, red licorice lips and a brightly colored muffler. A slow smile rolled across her lips. “What do you think?”

  Trista walked all the way around the rotund, frozen, white body. “It’s great.”

  “I don’t know, Mom.” Steven pointed to its belly. “I kind of think it needs a knife sticking out right here and maybe some ketchup dripping down.”

  Lexi rolled her eyes at her blood-thirsty son. “It does not need anything of the sort. The photographers will be rolling up the street first thing in the morning to film this snowman in front of this gorgeous pin
e tree for my first show on the new contract. There will be no knives, no fake blood, no heads cut off. Do you understand?”

  Steven frowned. “Ah, Mom.”

  Trista laughed. “Boys are so lame.”

  Lexi’s cell phone rang. “Hello.”

  “Listen, Lexi,” Craig said, “the party’s off for tonight.”

  “Ahh, and both the snowman and the food are perfect.” Lexi teased with her favorite cameraman. “You’d better be kidding me, because that is not a funny thing to tell a woman with several hundred dollars worth of appetizers sitting in her brand new kitchen.”

  “I wish I was joking. I’m calling from the hospital. Carolyn’s in labor.”

  “But she’s not due for two weeks. Is she all right?”

  “The doctor says she’ll be fine, but the crews have set up for the birth. It’s looking like we’ll be here all night.”

  Carolyn was a local single anchorwoman who had been artificially inseminated and thus become the focus of an on-going special edition story. And the news crews--who Lexi’d invited to a get-acquainted party--of course had to film the dramatic ending to the story.

  Disappointed, Lexi glanced at the snowman and sighed. “Well, I suppose the snowman will last. After all, it’s below freezing. But I’ve got all this food,” she moaned.

  “I know. I really wanted to see your new place, too. Sorry.”

  Her “Bye” echoed after the click.

  She sighed again. All that food inside her kitchen, going to waste. She and the kids couldn’t make a dent in it. She’d made enough for a large crowd. The same large crowd now crammed into a birthing room at University Hospital.

  “What’s wrong?” Trista asked.

  Lexi turned back to her kids with a sigh. “The party’s off. Carolyn’s having her baby.”

  Steven tossed a snowball and hit Trista in the leg.

  Trista shot him a don’t-you-dare-try-that-again look as she brushed the snow from her pants. When she straightened, she shrugged. “Just invite someone else.”

  “Like who?”

  “How about our new neighbors?”

  Lexi smiled. “You are absolutely brilliant. That’s just what I’ll do. Come on, let’s walk down the block and invite everyone to a party.”

  Trista started walking back to the house. “I think I’m going in to warm up, Mom. But you go ahead.”