Our Mutual Friend, Page 63

  Chapter 13

  SHOWING HOW THE GOLDEN DUSTMAN HELPED TO SCATTER DUST

  In all the first bewilderment of her wonder, the most bewilderinglywonderful thing to Bella was the shining countenance of Mr Boffin. Thathis wife should be joyous, open-hearted, and genial, or that her faceshould express every quality that was large and trusting, and no qualitythat was little or mean, was accordant with Bella's experience. But,that he, with a perfectly beneficent air and a plump rosy face, shouldbe standing there, looking at her and John, like some jovial goodspirit, was marvellous. For, how had he looked when she last saw him inthat very room (it was the room in which she had given him that piece ofher mind at parting), and what had become of all those crooked lines ofsuspicion, avarice, and distrust, that twisted his visage then?

  Mrs Boffin seated Bella on the large ottoman, and seated herself besideher, and John her husband seated himself on the other side of her, andMr Boffin stood beaming at every one and everything he could see, withsurpassing jollity and enjoyment. Mrs Boffin was then taken with alaughing fit of clapping her hands, and clapping her knees, and rockingherself to and fro, and then with another laughing fit of embracingBella, and rocking her to and fro--both fits, of considerable duration.

  'Old lady, old lady,' said Mr Boffin, at length; 'if you don't beginsomebody else must.'

  'I'm a going to begin, Noddy, my dear,' returned Mrs Boffin. 'Only itisn't easy for a person to know where to begin, when a person is in thisstate of delight and happiness. Bella, my dear. Tell me, who's this?'

  'Who is this?' repeated Bella. 'My husband.'

  'Ah! But tell me his name, deary!' cried Mrs Boffin.

  'Rokesmith.'

  'No, it ain't!' cried Mrs Boffin, clapping her hands, and shaking herhead. 'Not a bit of it.'

  'Handford then,' suggested Bella.

  'No, it ain't!' cried Mrs Boffin, again clapping her hands and shakingher head. 'Not a bit of it.'

  'At least, his name is John, I suppose?' said Bella.

  'Ah! I should think so, deary!' cried Mrs Boffin. 'I should hope so!Many and many is the time I have called him by his name of John. Butwhat's his other name, his true other name? Give a guess, my pretty!'

  'I can't guess,' said Bella, turning her pale face from one to another.

  'I could,' cried Mrs Boffin, 'and what's more, I did! I found him out,all in a flash as I may say, one night. Didn't I, Noddy?'

  'Ay! That the old lady did!' said Mr Boffin, with stout pride in thecircumstance.

  'Harkee to me, deary,' pursued Mrs Boffin, taking Bella's hands betweenher own, and gently beating on them from time to time. 'It was after aparticular night when John had been disappointed--as he thought--inhis affections. It was after a night when John had made an offer to acertain young lady, and the certain young lady had refused it. It wasafter a particular night, when he felt himself cast-away-like, and hadmade up his mind to go seek his fortune. It was the very next night. MyNoddy wanted a paper out of his Secretary's room, and I says to Noddy,"I am going by the door, and I'll ask him for it." I tapped at his door,and he didn't hear me. I looked in, and saw him a sitting lonely by hisfire, brooding over it. He chanced to look up with a pleased kind ofsmile in my company when he saw me, and then in a single moment everygrain of the gunpowder that had been lying sprinkled thick about himever since I first set eyes upon him as a man at the Bower, took fire!Too many a time had I seen him sitting lonely, when he was a poor child,to be pitied, heart and hand! Too many a time had I seen him in need ofbeing brightened up with a comforting word! Too many and too many a timeto be mistaken, when that glimpse of him come at last! No, no! I justmakes out to cry, "I know you now! You're John!" And he catches me asI drops.--So what,' says Mrs Boffin, breaking off in the rush of herspeech to smile most radiantly, 'might you think by this time that yourhusband's name was, dear?'

  'Not,' returned Bella, with quivering lips; 'not Harmon? That's notpossible?'

  'Don't tremble. Why not possible, deary, when so many things arepossible?' demanded Mrs Boffin, in a soothing tone.

  'He was killed,' gasped Bella.

  'Thought to be,' said Mrs Boffin. 'But if ever John Harmon drew thebreath of life on earth, that is certainly John Harmon's arm round yourwaist now, my pretty. If ever John Harmon had a wife on earth, that wifeis certainly you. If ever John Harmon and his wife had a child on earth,that child is certainly this.'

  By a master-stroke of secret arrangement, the inexhaustible baby hereappeared at the door, suspended in mid-air by invisible agency. MrsBoffin, plunging at it, brought it to Bella's lap, where both Mrs and MrBoffin (as the saying is) 'took it out of' the Inexhaustible in a showerof caresses. It was only this timely appearance that kept Bella fromswooning. This, and her husband's earnestness in explaining further toher how it had come to pass that he had been supposed to be slain, andhad even been suspected of his own murder; also, how he had put a piousfraud upon her which had preyed upon his mind, as the time for itsdisclosure approached, lest she might not make full allowance forthe object with which it had originated, and in which it had fullydeveloped.

  'But bless ye, my beauty!' cried Mrs Boffin, taking him up short at thispoint, with another hearty clap of her hands. 'It wasn't John only thatwas in it. We was all of us in it.'

  'I don't,' said Bella, looking vacantly from one to another, 'yetunderstand--'

  'Of course you don't, my deary,' exclaimed Mrs Boffin. 'How can you tillyou're told! So now I am a going to tell you. So you put your two handsbetween my two hands again,' cried the comfortable creature, embracingher, 'with that blessed little picter lying on your lap, and you shallbe told all the story. Now, I'm a going to tell the story. Once, twice,three times, and the horses is off. Here they go! When I cries out thatnight, "I know you now, you're John! "--which was my exact words; wasn'tthey, John?'

  'Your exact words,' said John, laying his hand on hers.

  'That's a very good arrangement,' cried Mrs Boffin. 'Keep it there,John. And as we was all of us in it, Noddy you come and lay yours a topof his, and we won't break the pile till the story's done.'

  Mr Boffin hitched up a chair, and added his broad brown right hand tothe heap.

  'That's capital!' said Mrs Boffin, giving it a kiss. 'Seems quite afamily building; don't it? But the horses is off. Well! When I criesout that night, "I know you now! you're John!" John catches of me, itis true; but I ain't a light weight, bless ye, and he's forced to let medown. Noddy, he hears a noise, and in he trots, and as soon as I anywayscomes to myself I calls to him, "Noddy, well I might say as I did say,that night at the Bower, for the Lord be thankful this is John!" Onwhich he gives a heave, and down he goes likewise, with his head underthe writing-table. This brings me round comfortable, and that brings himround comfortable, and then John and him and me we all fall a crying forjoy.'

  'Yes! They cry for joy, my darling,' her husband struck in. 'Youunderstand? These two, whom I come to life to disappoint and dispossess,cry for joy!'

  Bella looked at him confusedly, and looked again at Mrs Boffin's radiantface.

  'That's right, my dear, don't you mind him,' said Mrs Boffin, 'stickto me. Well! Then we sits down, gradually gets cool, and holds aconfabulation. John, he tells us how he is despairing in his mind onaccounts of a certain fair young person, and how, if I hadn't found himout, he was going away to seek his fortune far and wide, and had fullymeant never to come to life, but to leave the property as our wrongfulinheritance for ever and a day. At which you never see a man sofrightened as my Noddy was. For to think that he should have come intothe property wrongful, however innocent, and--more than that--might havegone on keeping it to his dying day, turned him whiter than chalk.'

  'And you too,' said Mr Boffin.

  'Don't you mind him, neither, my deary,' resumed Mrs Boffin; 'stickto me. This brings up a confabulation regarding the certain fair youngperson; when Noddy he gives it as his opinion that she is a dearycreetur. "She may be a leetle spoilt, and nat'rally spoilt," he says,"by circumstances, but t
hat's only the surface, and I lay my life," hesays, "that she's the true golden gold at heart."

  'So did you,' said Mr Boffin.

  'Don't you mind him a single morsel, my dear,' proceeded Mrs Boffin,'but stick to me. Then says John, O, if he could but prove so! Then weboth of us ups and says, that minute, "Prove so!"'

  With a start, Bella directed a hurried glance towards Mr Boffin. But,he was sitting thoughtfully smiling at that broad brown hand of his, andeither didn't see it, or would take no notice of it.

  '"Prove it, John!" we says,' repeated Mrs Boffin. '"Prove it andovercome your doubts with triumph, and be happy for the first time inyour life, and for the rest of your life." This puts John in a state,to be sure. Then we says, "What will content you? If she was to stand upfor you when you was slighted, if she was to show herself of a generousmind when you was oppressed, if she was to be truest to you when you waspoorest and friendliest, and all this against her own seeming interest,how would that do?" "Do?" says John, "it would raise me to the skies.""Then," says my Noddy, "make your preparations for the ascent, John, itbeing my firm belief that up you go!"'

  Bella caught Mr Boffin's twinkling eye for half an instant; but he gotit away from her, and restored it to his broad brown hand.

  'From the first, you was always a special favourite of Noddy's,' saidMrs Boffin, shaking her head. 'O you were! And if I had been inclinedto be jealous, I don't know what I mightn't have done to you. But as Iwasn't--why, my beauty,' with a hearty laugh and an embrace, 'I made youa special favourite of my own too. But the horses is coming round thecorner. Well! Then says my Noddy, shaking his sides till he was fit tomake 'em ache again: "Look out for being slighted and oppressed, John,for if ever a man had a hard master, you shall find me from this presenttime to be such to you." And then he began!' cried Mrs Boffin, in anecstacy of admiration. 'Lord bless you, then he began! And how he DIDbegin; didn't he!'

  Bella looked half frightened, and yet half laughed.

  'But, bless you,' pursued Mrs Boffin, 'if you could have seen him of anight, at that time of it! The way he'd sit and chuckle over himself!The way he'd say "I've been a regular brown bear to-day," and takehimself in his arms and hug himself at the thoughts of the brute he hadpretended. But every night he says to me: "Better and better, old lady.What did we say of her? She'll come through it, the true golden gold.This'll be the happiest piece of work we ever done." And then he'd say,"I'll be a grislier old growler to-morrow!" and laugh, he would, tillJohn and me was often forced to slap his back, and bring it out of hiswindpipes with a little water.'

  Mr Boffin, with his face bent over his heavy hand, made no sound,but rolled his shoulders when thus referred to, as if he were vastlyenjoying himself.

  'And so, my good and pretty,' pursued Mrs Boffin, 'you was married, andthere was we hid up in the church-organ by this husband of yours; forhe wouldn't let us out with it then, as was first meant. "No," he says,"she's so unselfish and contented, that I can't afford to be rich yet. Imust wait a little longer." Then, when baby was expected, he says, "Sheis such a cheerful, glorious housewife that I can't afford to be richyet. I must wait a little longer." Then when baby was born, he says,"She is so much better than she ever was, that I can't afford to be richyet. I must wait a little longer." And so he goes on and on, till I saysoutright, "Now, John, if you don't fix a time for setting her up in herown house and home, and letting us walk out of it, I'll turn Informer."Then he says he'll only wait to triumph beyond what we ever thoughtpossible, and to show her to us better than even we ever supposed; andhe says, "She shall see me under suspicion of having murdered myself,and YOU shall see how trusting and how true she'll be." Well! Noddy andme agreed to that, and he was right, and here you are, and the horses isin, and the story is done, and God bless you my Beauty, and God bless usall!'

  The pile of hands dispersed, and Bella and Mrs Boffin took a good longhug of one another: to the apparent peril of the inexhaustible baby,lying staring in Bella's lap.

  'But IS the story done?' said Bella, pondering. 'Is there no more ofit?'

  'What more of it should there be, deary?' returned Mrs Boffin, full ofglee.

  'Are you sure you have left nothing out of it?' asked Bella.

  'I don't think I have,' said Mrs Boffin, archly.

  'John dear,' said Bella, 'you're a good nurse; will you please holdbaby?' Having deposited the Inexhaustible in his arms with those words,Bella looked hard at Mr Boffin, who had moved to a table where he wasleaning his head upon his hand with his face turned away, and, quietlysettling herself on her knees at his side, and drawing one arm over hisshoulder, said: 'Please I beg your pardon, and I made a small mistake ofa word when I took leave of you last. Please I think you are better (notworse) than Hopkins, better (not worse) than Dancer, better (not worse)than Blackberry Jones, better (not worse) than any of them! Pleasesomething more!' cried Bella, with an exultant ringing laugh as shestruggled with him and forced him to turn his delighted face to hers.'Please I have found out something not yet mentioned. Please I don'tbelieve you are a hard-hearted miser at all, and please I don't believeyou ever for one single minute were!'

  At this, Mrs Boffin fairly screamed with rapture, and sat beating herfeet upon the floor, clapping her hands, and bobbing herself backwardsand forwards, like a demented member of some Mandarin's family.

  'O, I understand you now, sir!' cried Bella. 'I want neither you nor anyone else to tell me the rest of the story. I can tell it to YOU, now, ifyou would like to hear it.'

  'Can you, my dear?' said Mr Boffin. 'Tell it then.'

  'What?' cried Bella, holding him prisoner by the coat with both hands.'When you saw what a greedy little wretch you were the patron of, youdetermined to show her how much misused and misprized riches coulddo, and often had done, to spoil people; did you? Not caring what shethought of you (and Goodness knows THAT was of no consequence!) youshowed her, in yourself, the most detestable sides of wealth, saying inyour own mind, "This shallow creature would never work the truth out ofher own weak soul, if she had a hundred years to do it in; but a glaringinstance kept before her may open even her eyes and set her thinking."That was what you said to yourself, was it, sir?'

  'I never said anything of the sort,' Mr Boffin declared in a state ofthe highest enjoyment.

  'Then you ought to have said it, sir,' returned Bella, giving him twopulls and one kiss, 'for you must have thought and meant it. You sawthat good fortune was turning my stupid head and hardening my sillyheart--was making me grasping, calculating, insolent, insufferable--andyou took the pains to be the dearest and kindest fingerpost that everwas set up anywhere, pointing out the road that I was taking and the endit led to. Confess instantly!'

  'John,' said Mr Boffin, one broad piece of sunshine from head to foot,'I wish you'd help me out of this.'

  'You can't be heard by counsel, sir,' returned Bella. 'You must speakfor yourself. Confess instantly!'

  'Well, my dear,' said Mr Boffin, 'the truth is, that when we did go infor the little scheme that my old lady has pinted out, I did put it toJohn, what did he think of going in for some such general scheme as YOUhave pinted out? But I didn't in any way so word it, because I didn't inany way so mean it. I only said to John, wouldn't it be more consistent,me going in for being a reg'lar brown bear respecting him, to go in as areg'lar brown bear all round?'

  'Confess this minute, sir,' said Bella, 'that you did it to correct andamend me!'

  'Certainly, my dear child,' said Mr Boffin, 'I didn't do it to harm you;you may be sure of that. And I did hope it might just hint a caution.Still, it ought to be mentioned that no sooner had my old lady found outJohn, than John made known to her and me that he had had his eye upon athankless person by the name of Silas Wegg. Partly for the punishment ofwhich Wegg, by leading him on in a very unhandsome and underhandedgame that he was playing, them books that you and me bought so manyof together (and, by-the-by, my dear, he wasn't Blackberry Jones, butBlewberry) was read aloud to me by that person of the name of Silas Weggaforesaid.
'

  Bella, who was still on her knees at Mr Boffin's feet, gradually sankdown into a sitting posture on the ground, as she meditated more andmore thoughtfully, with her eyes upon his beaming face.

  'Still,' said Bella, after this meditative pause, 'there remain twothings that I cannot understand. Mrs Boffin never supposed any part ofthe change in Mr Boffin to be real; did she?--You never did; did you?'asked Bella, turning to her.

  'No!' returned Mrs Boffin, with a most rotund and glowing negative.

  'And yet you took it very much to heart,' said Bella. 'I remember itsmaking you very uneasy, indeed.'

  'Ecod, you see Mrs John has a sharp eye, John!' cried Mr Boffin, shakinghis head with an admiring air. 'You're right, my dear. The old ladynearly blowed us into shivers and smithers, many times.'

  'Why?' asked Bella. 'How did that happen, when she was in your secret?'

  'Why, it was a weakness in the old lady,' said Mr Boffin; 'and yet, totell you the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I'm rather proud ofit. My dear, the old lady thinks so high of me that she couldn't abearto see and hear me coming out as a reg'lar brown one. Couldn't abearto make-believe as I meant it! In consequence of which, we waseverlastingly in danger with her.'

  Mrs Boffin laughed heartily at herself; but a certain glistening in herhonest eyes revealed that she was by no means cured of that dangerouspropensity.

  'I assure you, my dear,' said Mr Boffin, 'that on the celebratedday when I made what has since been agreed upon to be my grandestdemonstration--I allude to Mew says the cat, Quack quack says theduck, and Bow-wow-wow says the dog--I assure you, my dear, that on thatcelebrated day, them flinty and unbelieving words hit my old lady so hardon my account, that I had to hold her, to prevent her running out afteryou, and defending me by saying I was playing a part.'

  Mrs Boffin laughed heartily again, and her eyes glistened again, andit then appeared, not only that in that burst of sarcastic eloquenceMr Boffin was considered by his two fellow-conspirators to have outdonehimself, but that in his own opinion it was a remarkable achievement.'Never thought of it afore the moment, my dear!' he observed to Bella.'When John said, if he had been so happy as to win your affections andpossess your heart, it come into my head to turn round upon him with"Win her affections and possess her heart! Mew says the cat, Quack quacksays the duck, and Bow-wow-wow says the dog." I couldn't tell you howit come into my head or where from, but it had so much the sound of arasper that I own to you it astonished myself. I was awful nigh burstingout a laughing though, when it made John stare!'

  'You said, my pretty,' Mrs Boffin reminded Bella, 'that there was oneother thing you couldn't understand.'

  'O yes!' cried Bella, covering her face with her hands; 'but that Inever shall be able to understand as long as I live. It is, how Johncould love me so when I so little deserved it, and how you, Mr and MrsBoffin, could be so forgetful of yourselves, and take such pains andtrouble, to make me a little better, and after all to help him to sounworthy a wife. But I am very very grateful.'

  It was John Harmon's turn then--John Harmon now for good, and JohnRokesmith for nevermore--to plead with her (quite unnecessarily) inbehalf of his deception, and to tell her, over and over again, that ithad been prolonged by her own winning graces in her supposed station oflife. This led on to many interchanges of endearment and enjoymenton all sides, in the midst of which the Inexhaustible being observedstaring, in a most imbecile manner, on Mrs Boffin's breast, waspronounced to be supernaturally intelligent as to the whole transaction,and was made to declare to the ladies and gemplemorums, with a wave ofthe speckled fist (with difficulty detached from an exceedingly shortwaist), 'I have already informed my venerable Ma that I know all aboutit!'

  Then, said John Harmon, would Mrs John Harmon come and see her house?And a dainty house it was, and a tastefully beautiful; and they wentthrough it in procession; the Inexhaustible on Mrs Boffin's bosom (stillstaring) occupying the middle station, and Mr Boffin bringing up therear. And on Bella's exquisite toilette table was an ivory casket, andin the casket were jewels the like of which she had never dreamed of,and aloft on an upper floor was a nursery garnished as with rainbows;'though we were hard put to it,' said John Harmon, 'to get it done in soshort a time.'

  The house inspected, emissaries removed the Inexhaustible, who wasshortly afterwards heard screaming among the rainbows; whereupon Bellawithdrew herself from the presence and knowledge of gemplemorums, andthe screaming ceased, and smiling Peace associated herself with thatyoung olive branch.

  'Come and look in, Noddy!' said Mrs Boffin to Mr Boffin.

  Mr Boffin, submitting to be led on tiptoe to the nursery door, looked inwith immense satisfaction, although there was nothing to see but Bellain a musing state of happiness, seated in a little low chair upon thehearth, with her child in her fair young arms, and her soft eyelashesshading her eyes from the fire.

  'It looks as if the old man's spirit had found rest at last; don't it?'said Mrs Boffin.

  'Yes, old lady.'

  'And as if his money had turned bright again, after a long long rust inthe dark, and was at last a beginning to sparkle in the sunlight?'

  'Yes, old lady.'

  'And it makes a pretty and a promising picter; don't it?'

  'Yes, old lady.'

  But, aware at the instant of a fine opening for a point, Mr Boffinquenched that observation in this--delivered in the grisliest growlingof the regular brown bear. 'A pretty and a hopeful picter? Mew,Quack quack, Bow-wow!' And then trotted silently downstairs, with hisshoulders in a state of the liveliest commotion.