Like a Memory

  When I got to the parking lot she was there. Watching me. I almost turned and went back to my grandpops to save myself from this. I wanted Bliss to have it all. And I couldn’t be that. I couldn’t make promises to her. She meant too much.

  “You’re leaving.”

  She’d asked me to. Or more like ordered me to.

  “Yeah.”

  She frowned. “It was that easy?”

  I was confused now. “What?”

  “To make you leave. It was that stinking easy.”

  “You did just tell me to leave.” I reminded her.

  “Yes. But deep down I thought you’d run after me and . . . and . . . I don’t know. I just. Oh, never mind,” she said with a wave of her hand as if she were tossing the idea away. “Don’t go yet.”

  Women. Confusing as hell. “Why?”

  “Because Nate Finlay I want one last night with you. If you’re really leaving here then give me one night. Just one. That’s all I’m asking.”

  Nothing about that sounded like a good idea. A night with Bliss would be tempting. She was too damn beautiful and distracting. I’d forget all the reasons why we couldn’t work. “I don’t think we should.”

  “You’re right. We shouldn’t. But I fought through chemo and lived. I survived and while I was sick and bald and scared do you know what I thought about to get me through?”

  I shook my head because no I had no idea.

  “You. Us. That summer. That memory was what I clung to. So, before you leave, I want it again. Something like a memory that I can have to pull out and remember.”

  Fuck.

  The way my chest had just been ripped open I was having difficulty breathing. That wasn’t what I expected. She’d thought of me . . . God knows I’d thought of her but I hadn’t been facing death.

  “Okay,” I replied. This may be a bad idea but fuck me if I was going to tell her no now. Not after she just told me that.

  “Thanks.” That simple word so sincere. I wanted to go pull her in my arms and promise she’d always be safe. I’d make sure of it. But I couldn’t because I had no way of knowing if she would. But if there was a God surely he’d give her a long life.

  “I’ll pick you up at seven,” I told her.

  Bliss York

  I HAD A moment. You know those crazy moments where you run off and do something insane. Well I had that moment. I forced Nate Finlay to take me out on a date. What kind of desperate female even does that? It wasn’t like I could back out now. I was stuck. I had acted like an idiot now I had to follow through and be done with it.

  The next time I went out on a date it would be with someone who asked me because they wanted to. I was at least sticking to that. This thing tonight was a mistake. I knew it before it even started. Eli, not talking to me as he sat in front of the evening news eating a piece of grilled chicken and some steamed broccoli, agreed with that. He was not happy about this but he didn’t get to make decisions for me. I got to make those and screw things up all by myself.

  Deciding what to wear had been an all afternoon dilemma. I had tried on five dresses, two pants outfits and three with shorts and slides. Nothing was a winner but then did it really matter? It wasn’t like tonight was going to be fun. It was going to be weird and awkward thanks to me.

  I tried talking to Eli about this and he just stared at me blankly then turned his attention back to the television. He was disappointed in me. I could see it in his expression even if he tried to look as if he didn’t care. I guess I should be disappointed with me too. I’d considered calling this off more than once today but then would that be me making the decision or Eli making it. I wasn’t sure so I stuck with it. What could it hurt really? My pride was obviously already gone.

  The blue sleeveless sundress I was currently wearing hit just at my knees. I liked it. This was comfortable and could go either dressy or casual. I wouldn’t be changing my clothes again. That was something a girl excited about a date did. I wasn’t excited.

  One last time I walked into the living room and stood between Eli and the television. Nate would be here any minute.

  “You can ignore me all you want but that’s silly. I know this is a bad idea. It’s stupid. But I need to do it. So, stop trying to protect me and let me do things. Make mistakes. The whole shebang. Okay?”

  For a moment, I thought he was going to continue to ignore me but he let out a frustrated sound that was something like a sigh. “Fine.”

  That was all I needed. “Thank you.”

  He didn’t look amused. He just shook his head. “The guy is a dick.”

  It was right there on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to defend him. To tell Eli that Nate wasn’t a bad guy. But I didn’t. It wasn’t my place to defend him. Eli could think what he wanted. Nate would be gone soon anyway.

  The knock at the door stopped us from having anymore conversation and Eli took a drink of his water. He was done talking about it anyway. “See you later. I doubt I’m gone long.”

  He just nodded.

  I didn’t have time for this. I grabbed my purse and went to open the door.

  As it swung wide I almost wished I hadn’t opened it at all. I wished I had called and canceled. It would have saved me a lot of issues. Like the major issue being Nate Finlay was beautiful. Model perfect. He was rugged yet refined. Beautiful but handsome. He was mouthwatering. And I had to remember he was only taking me out because I forced him to.

  “Hey,” he said with a grin that made my heart go all silly and fluttery. Dang it. My entire body was going to betray me.

  “Hi. You’re on time,” I replied. That was stupid. I was nervous. Why was I nervous? This was Nate. This date meant nothing. I shouldn’t be doing this. He was here because I all but drug him here. I hated that feeling. He was so perfect and I was . . . well me.

  I didn’t want this memory of him. I had too many memories that I cherished. This could ruin it all. What had I been thinking?

  “I changed my mind. I think this is a bad idea. Thanks for doing it though but I don’t want to go out with a guy I forced to take me.”

  Eli’s eyes were on me. They were burning a hole in my back. I could feel him. I bet he spun around the moment the first couple of words tumbled out of my mouth.

  “I don’t do things I don’t want to do. And after seeing you in that dress, with your pretty hair in curls, there is no way I am walking away. You wanted this and now, so do I.”

  I hadn’t expected that response. My mind had been prepared to see him walk away with a “so long”. This surprised me. He wanted to go out.

  “Really?” was the brilliant word that came out of my mouth then. Not “thank you” or something more . . . I don’t know intelligent maybe. I just said “really?”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, most definitely.”

  Okay. Well then that changed everything. He was here looking like sex on a stick and he wanted me to go out with him. Our one last memory to satisfy me for the rest of my life. I was still pathetic but I was going. I was over feeling sorry for myself. Besides, he thought my curls were pretty.

  “Well, okay, um, well, yeah, I guess I’m ready then,” I was rambling like a lunatic. God help me this was just getting worse.

  He tilted his head toward the parking lot with a sexy jerk. Very Nate Finlay. He always made the simplest things appear cool. “Come on.”

  I stepped outside and I didn’t look back at Eli. I wasn’t ready for that look of his. The one where he wasn’t falling for Nate’s charm. He wasn’t a female. He didn’t understand.

  “I’m glad you wanted this,” Nate said as the door closed.

  “You are?”

  “Yeah. I am.”

  That was enough talk. It eased my tension and once again I was with Nate. The guy I knew. The guy I had loved. The guy whose memory got me through the darkest days of my life. This was right. It always felt right with him.

  “Are you and Octavia actually broken up?” I asked needing to know I wasn’t doing something w
rong.

  “Oh, yeah. That’s done.”

  I was grinning. The guy had just broken up with his fiancé the night before and I wasn’t able to hide my pleasure. God help me, I needed classes on how to date. I sucked at it.

  Nate Finlay

  IF THIS NIGHT could be frozen in time. Nothing before, nothing after. Just this one night be all there was, I could die happy. Because it was as close to perfect as I would ever get. Problem was the reality would come. And with it a truth neither of us was ready for.

  I’d wanted Bliss alone. None of her friends showing up and taking my limited time with her away. Yes, it sounded controlling and jealous but all I had was tonight and I wasn’t willing to share. I knew before it even started that this was it. All I would get.

  During our private dinner on the rooftop of hotel owned by my Uncle Grant, I did everything I could to make her laugh. Bliss’s laughter was infectious. Hearing her made me smile. The need to laugh and feel free of any darkness threatening to step in and end this was strong but not strong enough. Because I knew the truth I knew the reality. I was just glad she didn’t. At least for now. Tomorrow or the day after she’d know. And with that I’d never see her again.

  She was drying the tears brought on by laughter from her eyes and I just watched in awe. I’d never known a girl like Bliss. Everything you saw was exactly what she was. There was nothing there she was hiding or insecure about. She was just herself and she was comfortable in her own skin. What would my life be like if I could spend every day with her? Would it be different? Would I be different?

  “Tell me about your first date then. You’ve had enough fun laughing at mine,” she said leaning forward with her smile illuminated in the moonlight. The kind of moment that could last you a lifetime.

  “No way. Yours was funny but mine was just embarrassing,” I said standing up then holding my hand out to take hers. She slipped her hand into mine so trusting and stood up.

  “That’s not fair! Mine was embarrassing!”

  Hers was cute and innocent. Mine ended with me ejaculating before I could get my dick into Haley Martin’s older experienced vagina. That had been embarrassing. But when you’re a sixteen-year-old boy and an eighteen-year-old with big tits and porn quality features gets naked in your car and asks you to fuck her it’s a little too exciting to keep from exploding early. Bliss however wouldn’t get the humor in all that. And I wasn’t about to tell her.

  “I’d rather look at the stars with you,” I replied and pulled her over to the lounger sofa that I had made sure faced the water and the moonlight. This was what Bliss needed. Romance. She wasn’t like the other females I’d had in my life. I couldn’t bend her over that sofa and bury myself inside her while we looked at those stars. Although to me that sounded pretty damn romantic. Bliss deserved more. She needed the romance to go with the sex.

  We sat down and I put my arm around her shoulders pulling her against my side. There were a million things I could have asked her. Several topics available to me so why the fuck I asked “When was the first time you had sex?” I do not know. But I did.

  She jerked her head around to look at me wide eyed then she laughed. Thank God she thought this was funny and not getting all stiff and uncomfortable with me. That would suck. I wanted her warm and relaxed in my arms. She smelled wonderful and this would just be another of those things I stocked back for days when I needed to feel happy. This memory would give me that.

  “Are you planning on asking me questions all night and not answering any yourself? I should at least get your first sex story. If I’m not going to get your first date story.”

  “One and the same,” I replied.

  Her big eyes went even wider and then she covered her mouth as she laughed. “You had sex on your first date?”

  I shrugged. It had been something I liked to brag about in the field house at school but with Bliss I wasn’t about to recap.

  “You have to tell me now. That’s just not fair.”

  She was wanting my first sex story. Bliss was an adult now. She wasn’t that sweet innocent girl I’d fallen in love with. Any other girl had asked me to tell her this I would have and given them details. Was it right for me to treat Bliss like she was innocent and breakable? She didn’t want that obviously.

  “You really want to hear this?”

  She nodded her head turning her body toward mine and pressing her chest against my arm. That was a little distracting but I didn’t let my eyes go to her low cut dress and enjoy the view. Talking about sex with Bliss was going to make me fucking hard.

  “She was eighteen. I was sixteen,” I began.

  I expected Bliss to jump in here with a comment on the age difference but she stayed silent. So, I went on.

  “We went to the movies and I can’t remember what we saw because she kept slipping her hand up my thigh then took my hand and slipped it under her skirt. I was sixteen and all I could think about was the fact I could possibly be losing my virginity that night.”

  Bliss laughed softy, so I went on.

  “We didn’t make it to the end of the movie. Once I got my hand under her skirt she spread her legs and well, it didn’t take long for her to be ready to leave.”

  “Did you touch her . . . like without the panties there as a barrier?”

  Jesus. That one question from her and my dick was so damn hard I could break shit with it.

  “Uh, she wasn’t wearing panties. One of the reasons Haley’s skirts were famous at school was when she bent over or opened her legs you had a clear view. The male teachers and a couple of the female teachers enjoyed it as much as we did.”

  “Oh my god,” Bliss said but she didn’t sound horrified. She was fascinated. The little freak. Grinning I rested my hand on her thigh to keep from losing my mind if I didn’t touch something other than her shoulders.

  “I actually heard Coach J say the same thing once in his office about five minutes before Haley walked out wiping the corners of her mouth and smiling.”

  Bliss grabbed my arm. “She gave the coach a blow job?”

  I nodded. “Several I’m sure. Coach J was younger and the girls loved him.”

  “So what happened when you left the movie?”

  Bliss was too into this. I was supposed to be romantic and give us both a memory to keep. Not tell her sex stories. But damn if her interest wasn’t turning me on. I was enjoying this as much if not more than her.

  “We, uh, you sure you want to hear this?”

  She nodded again so I continued.

  “We made it to my car, it was a Range Rover back then. She crawled in the backseat and got naked. I followed her and got my clothes off as fast as I could. She slid a condom down over my dick which was good because I wasn’t sure how to do it. Then she climbed on top of me straddling my waist and well, her boobs were in my face and her pussy started down on my dick and I fucking blew right there. Luckily I had on the condom. It wasn’t my finest hour.”

  Bliss giggled and I had to smile. I had never admitted that to anyone before. With Bliss, everything just seemed right.

  Bliss York

  I DIDN’T HAVE a promise of another night with Nate. It was me who had made this date happen. By force. Just because we were having a good time or at least I thought he was, didn’t mean I’d get another date. He said he was leaving Sea Breeze.

  Listening to him talk about sex had made my body tingle in areas that wanted a release of their own. But how did I tell him that? I wasn’t one to take off all my clothes and climb in his truck. Although I wish I were. I wanted to experience sex with Nate. I’d never had sex but I wanted to. With Nate.

  His hand was on my thigh so I did the only thing I could think of. I put my hand on his and slid his hand up my thigh and then pressed it between my thighs. He had gone still beside me. I wasn’t sure he was even breathing. My heart was beating so rapidly in my chest from nerves and excitement I could hear it.

  “Bliss,” he said my name in a deeper tone as his hand fle
x and griped my inner thigh.

  “Yes,” I replied in a whisper.

  “Are you sure?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I said again.

  He didn’t need more than that. His body turned and covered mine as we lay there on the lounger. This time when his lips touched mine I knew it wasn’t for a moment. There was no guilt. I sank my fingers into his hair and held on while his hard, warm body moved over me. This was what it was supposed to be like. This was why I never let it get far with other guys. I wanted Nate. I imagined this was Nate. I had since I was fifteen years old.

  One of his hands cupped my face while the other ran down my body feeling and brushing the right places. I wish I had gotten naked first. The touch of his hand on my skin would be amazing. I squirmed at the thought and the hardness of his erection touched my leg. I froze then. I wanted to rub against it. Feel more of it but this was all new to me and I wasn’t sure.

  Nate’s tongue slipped inside my mouth and his taste excited me further. When he pressed his erection against me, I made a sound I didn’t recognize. But he’d pressed it right where I needed to feel it. Right where my body was aching for contact.

  If I was naked right now this would be perfect.